Re: Capture Club (F/M, FM/F, FM/F, M/F, F/M, M/F, MM/FF, F/F...etc.)
Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2023 7:32 pm
What goes around, comes around. They got Trent good! Courtney does seem to be fascinated by him. Are there good things ahead?
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Absolutely! Another fine instalment!Lucky Lottie wrote: ↑11 months ago Lovely continuation. Abbie is well and truly among my favourites.
Thank you. I love assertive characters. Being submissive or deferential can be good and fun. But a nice battle of wills in a situation like this shows that characters are comfortable with each other. And that's something that I'm trying to move towards. I definitely think that Jackie's right. The person doing the tying doesn't always get to be in control. I tried to paint a picture of Abbie's confidence as waxing and waning throughout the chapter. I don't want a completely new Abbie. The old Abbie was very fun to write. And I have a lot more to do with the flustered, paranoid, young woman who possesses a lot of palpable fear and anxiety. She's not going anywhere. But augmenting Abbie's prowess within the game was always going to be necessary. Trent can't constantly be fighting her battles for her. That's not fair to anybody. I want Elisa and others to be able to torment Abbie without coming across purely as bullies. So Abbie was always going to need to learn how to stand up for herself. Now she is better able to do that. But she hasn't lost her fear and anxiety. Abbie will be tied up at least three more times sophomore year and we'll see that she's the same desperate young lady that we've seen in the past when the ropes are on her. I am eventually going to make her into a more confident captor. But she's not even there yet. Domme Abbie is a bit of a character that she's playing. She can play it well. But she has to work her way into it. I made sure to include constant checks for validation from her to show that the brashness with which she treats her captives is still a little bit of a mask. I like the saying that confident people don't know that everybody is going to like them...they know that they're going to be OK if some people don't like them. Abbie doesn't know that yet. She still has a ways to go.Rtj65 wrote: ↑11 months ago What a start to the chapter! The battle for control between Jackie and Abbie is fascinating, and it's great to see them being assertive here. We're starting to see a different side to Abbie now, which I really like as it seems like she's coming into her own now. As for Jackie, this isn't the first time that she's used her good natured reputation among the group to her advantage, so she's definitely one to watch out for from now on.
I love your descriptions of the bindings, and especially Trent's gag in this chapter, and the dialogue was as snappy as ever - I really liked the attitude Abbie showed in particular.
Thanks, [mention]GreyLord[/mention]. I LOVE this comment. I do want my characters to run a little wild, have fun, and enjoy themselves. But I do like knowing that readers have a set line that they are able to draw between "Go, Abbie, Go!" and "Stop, Abbie, Stop!". I stopped this chapter where I did at this point because I wanted to run a brake check. I wanted to gauge how a potential betrayal of this magnitude by Abbie might be received. Bringing in an unsanctioned party and presenting her friend who is helping her out as her unwilling slave/pet, would be very much against the spirit of the game. I may have had Abbie state that because this was Trent's "off day", and not an official club capture, that the rules don't apply. But I don't think that anybody really thought that that would be an OK justification. I'm more than happy to read stories that are totally wild immersion into power by one character over another. But I definitely prefer stories where actions have consequences. And if Abbie had willfully broken Trent's most important rule...there would be consequences. All of the characters in this story will do things that are not right and hard to justify at points. Sometimes the other characters will let it float, and sometimes there will be punishments. But having Abbie break Rule #1 so blatantly in this scenario was going to be something that was hard to forgive.
Thank you very much. It pleases me greatly that you're enjoying it.
This is great to hear. My goal for this story is to have you think about all of the characters differently. The exact same thing could happen to Dale or Elisa or Jackie and I want you to think about it three different ways. I'm glad that you like Abbie and I hope it's clear that she didn't go to far. If Astrid had not been Courtney...that was going to far. But deception is part of the club. And it's an important part of the club. These characters don't always need to be honest with each other. Trent hasn't told Erica that Jackie sold her out with a text message. Dale didn't let Elisa know that it was Jackie who spoiled her ambush in Chapter 6 and not Abbie (this leading to complications). They'll lie and attempt to flummox each other all the time. And it'll become clear that Abbie views getting tricked with a degree of humiliation that equals that of the helplessness itself. When we first met her in Chapter 2 she was so on tilt not only because she didn't no Trent but because she was not only tightly hogtied and gagged on his desk...she'd clearly been bamboozled by Elisa. Being a captive is one thing. Being a captive who is also a rube is a sort of stacked embarrassment for her. So she's definitely somebody that wants to trick people. Her desire for other people to include her in their schemes will become a plot point going forward. Capturing somebody is great. But pulling of a "scheme" is divine as far as she is concerned.Rtj65 wrote: ↑11 months ago I can't stress enough how good this is. The current scene is one of the best you've done so far, and I think it's made even better by the work you've put into developing these characters. If the people involved were just basic names and descriptions, it would be fun, but having got to know this cast of characters in details, it makes it even better.
This part solidifies Abbie as my favourite character (followed closely by Courtney). Maybe this trick was too far, but she was hardly acting alone, and having been constantly underestimated in the club, why shouldn't she try and change that? It's not like Trent hasn't seen this side of her before either. And I think that she would have committed to it knowing that there would be retribution, so she must be prepared to accept that. She has come a long way in the story so far, and I'm really interested to see how both she and Trent are with one another in the aftermath, and going forwards.
I also like the references to captures being made outside of Trent's knowledge, it definitely enriches the story. I think this chapter is the culmination of Trent perhaps being a bit naive amongst the club. Despite being newer, Courtney completely gets it when it comes to making deals, bertrayal etc. Should Trent really be surprised when the other club members pull a fast one on him? Either this will make him more ruthless, or reaffirm his own style within the club. Either way, awesome stuff, I like that no one in this story is immune to getting a taste of their own medicine, so I'm looking forward to seeing how Courtney plans on doing that with Trent.
I'm glad you liked it. I was unsure how on board I could get people with the idea of Abbie bringing in a total stranger and Jackie seemingly sanctioning it. This is a surprise that probably wasn't going to work for much longer since we now know these characters decently well. I had mentioned that Courtney lived with a theater girl before. We'll definitely meet both of the roommates who are not in the club at some point (Courtney's roommate Danielle and Sam's roommate Darren). Whether they have any interest in the club remains to be seen. But if I mention a side character more than once, you're probably going to meet them at some point down the road. So you'll see where Courtney learned how to affect accents.charliesmith wrote: ↑11 months ago That was a pleasant surprise! I never expected it would be Courtney. You pulled off another great chapter [mention]Fandango[/mention]. You keep bringing in surprises after surprises. Amazing work!
I appreciate that. I think that people start to expect twists when you fill your stories with them and are constantly trying to fool people. To remedy this I think that giving people what they expect a good percentage of the time helps when you do want throw in a nice bamboozle. I feel like I regularly telegraph where the story is going, so if I let readers get a little ahead of me...I'm better able to flourish a surprise when I really want to. I'm glad this one landed for some people.Lucky Lottie wrote: ↑11 months ago Absolutely wonderful. The twist was brilliant and I look forward to the next little game.
That means a lot. This board does have a lot of engaging reads. I feel honored that you're counting me amongst them.Busy Damsel wrote: ↑11 months ago I'm just amazed by all the really clever stories here, and this is no exception.
Thank you. I tend to write in fits and starts. I'll begin writing something and then break and come back to it. I definitely had to re-read this one a couple times and edit because sometimes I'd forget when Trent was blindfolded and when he wasn't. Removing one of your narrator's senses and having him try and work through the confusion allows me to present his feelings on a situation without necessarily presenting the facts as they're happening. I played Spin the Bottle in college. This story will feature a lot of fun, dumb games that young adults play to learn about each other.tickletied84 wrote: ↑11 months ago Great update again! Really well written, capturing the awkwardness/arrogance of young adults playing Spin The Bottle, and descriptions so good that I could imagine being there
Thanks, Lottie. She's fun to write. She's a weird mix of insecurities with earnest excitement that I find to be relatable. So I always like having Abbie in a chapter. And her reactions are so perceptible and almost tangible that she rarely gets lost in a scene. There are times where I don't have a character like Erica or Sam speak for a little while and they're just kind of cruising. Whenever, I'm writing a dialogue between two characters and Abbie is in the room...I'm always sort of thinking "How is Abbie taking this?" I'm glad that you like her. It does help to know what characters people connect with and which ones grate on them.Lucky Lottie wrote: ↑11 months ago Lovely continuation. Abbie is well and truly among my favourites.