A Game F/FF, FF/FF, etc.

Stories that have little truth to them should go here.
NoOne
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A Game F/FF, FF/FF, etc.

Post by NoOne »

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RopemanSteve
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Post by RopemanSteve »

Great idea, but could you have them talk in more conversational language? They talk very formally. Slang, contractions, that kind of thing would really help.

But you have a great concept here, please continue....
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Post by Dr_Depravo »

I dunno. The story and concept is a lot of fun and interesting but...

I just couldn't give any less craps about her backstory, her parents backstory or her grandma's backstory.

I understand you're wanting to build a story with Characters with depth and such but I just don't think it fits in at all with the story itself.
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Post by NoOne »

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Dr_Depravo
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Post by Dr_Depravo »

NoOne wrote: 3 years ago Probably true. Currently rewriting.
Let me know if you want me to Beta Read for you. I always like helping others writing.
LatexLover
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Post by LatexLover »

Dr_Depravo wrote: 3 years ago I dunno. The story and concept is a lot of fun and interesting but...

I just couldn't give any less craps about her backstory, her parents backstory or her grandma's backstory.

I understand you're wanting to build a story with Characters with depth and such but I just don't think it fits in at all with the story itself.
I agree wholeheartedly.
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Caesar73
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Post by Caesar73 »

Soo good to read you again :) This story gets better and better!
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dogrednuht123
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Post by dogrednuht123 »

Amazing story. Keep up the great work. Can't wait to hear the next part.
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Post by Caesar73 »

Great Update!
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NoOne
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D
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dogrednuht123
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Post by dogrednuht123 »

Excellent writing and story. Love the twists and turns of the plot. Keep up the great job.
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Caesar73
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Post by Caesar73 »

Poor Amanda - in trouble again :)
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dogrednuht123
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Post by dogrednuht123 »

love it. great twist and character addition.
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Post by Caesar73 »

Great part! I liked the conversation in the shower between Amanda and Shannon. I hope Erika will get some of her own medicine. Beautiful Outfit for Amanda!!
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dogrednuht123
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Post by dogrednuht123 »

Great addition. Love the story. Can't wait for the next part. Keep up the amazing work.
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Post by Caesar73 »

Things are about to get even more intense :)
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dogrednuht123
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Post by dogrednuht123 »

awesome chapter. great twist. very creative.
Caesar73
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Post by Caesar73 »

dogrednuht123 wrote: 3 years ago awesome chapter. great twist. very creative.
I enjoyed this chapter very much :) The complete Story is great.
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