May traumatic experiences be the cause of interest in bondage?

[Bastian]

Difficult question.
As a little boy, from 4 to 6, I was the "pleasure toy" of a sick adult. Then, I began to have fantasies related to bondage and submission, beginning precociously to masturbate.
There could be any correlation?

[Lucky Lottie]

Unfortunately traumatic experiences can lead to any number of mental shifts. Interest in kinks like bondage and power-play dynamics are experienced by people with trauma far more than you'd think.

Most common explanation is that as a coping strategy victims persue situations similar to past trauma where a level of control over those experiences can be obtained.

Everyone is different in how they handle trauma and it's not anything to be ashamed of. As long as you take it slow and enjoy each new step forward, it can be a very positive way of life.

Happy to talk if needed.

Stay happy

[Bastian]

I think you're right. Thank you .

[antoinedt]

I agree with what Lucky Lottie said and I'd like to add that the definition of trauma can be very broad or it may not necessarily have to be trauma as well. I personally don't recall any significant trauma or abuse in my life, although I suppose it is all relative, but I suspect that my affinity towards bondage is somehow a coping mechanism towards the persisting difficulties in my life incurred by my ADHD. I think my ADHD manifests itself in a lack of or inconsistency of control in my life and my desires as a switch towards topping/bottoming in a bondage context or that the power themes in a D/s dynamic appeal to me somehow resulted from that. It has also has to do with my personal relationships in life, particularly relationship dynamics within my family and possibly even early romantic experiences.

The more I think about what bondage as a main aspect of my sexuality does for me, the more I realize how it's related to a lot of other aspects of my life and personality. I don't think there's any one particular reason for an interest in bondage. I think it's many different factors coming together and while we don't always desire the things that we need or are good for us, I think that more often that not, for those that do desire bondage, it is doing something good for us, even necessary for us.

So yeah maybe not only trauma but mental illness as well. In my local community I have noticed that many of my friends also have ADHD, anxiety, depression, or some other mental illness. Then again it seems like every one does and may not just be able to recognize it so I don't know.

[Bastian]

Yes, in many ways yours is also a partial portrait of mine, although a little different in other aspects. Interesting discussion, by the way.

[sami200456boyfriend]

Yes

[Silkenvixen]

I think so, yes.

I know a woman from France who already liked being tied up, and one day her apartment was broken into and she spent the entire day bound and gagged in a hogtie on the couch until her girlfriend/lover came home. She confessed it actually enhanced her interest.

A guy I know here in the states, some of you know him as Ed Harris, former owner of the Dreambook for people who had been bound and gagged in robberies. He was a widower at the time and his mother in law a widow, one Sunday afternoon they went to her house after church and interrupted three younger guys robbing the place. They were left bound and gagged, she on the floor and he on the couch, while they finished up and left. He said that watching her struggle while he was bound and gagged was incredible, some time after that happened they actually began playing bondage games where the fantasy had been of them left tied and gagged by burglars. I even helped them out through email with scenarios and positions.