Shifting Preferences?

[Tychus]

It used to be the case that my interests within the realm of BDSM was almost entirely stooped in the actual act of bondage itself. Ever since I was little, I've enjoyed depictions of bondage in media, the feel of the materials, and a fascination with the equipment involved.

However, since entering a relationship and having someone to routinely practice bondage with, I have found my preferences shifting from the bondage itself to the mental headspace associated with domination and submission. Whether I'm domming or subbing, I find that I no longer need the medium of bondage to have a good time. It's a tool that can be used to achieve these goals. But it's just that: a tool. Supplementary. Icing on the cake. I still enjoy it no doubt, but I don't really need it anymore, and my mind is filled with other thoughts primarily.

Anybody else experience this? I wouldn't necessarily classify it as a lost in interest. Just a change.

[bondagefreak]

Whether I'm domming or subbing, I find that I no longer need the medium of bondage to have a good time. It's a tool that can be used to achieve these goals. But it's just that: a tool.

Welcome to the forum, buddy.

If you're wondering whether or not this outlook you now have is common, then let me reassure you that indeed it is.
Given that this board revolves around tie ups and bondage (and not BDSM) you will find relatively few like-minded folk on here though.
However, if you take a step back at look at the entire fetish community as a whole, your outlook is definitely the more popular one.
The pure and unadulterated love of tie up games and bondage that most members on this small community adhere to is actually quite niche. And I don't mean this in a bad way. Quite the opposite, it's simply a fact.

For most Doms and subs (particularly off this forum) bondage is only a means to an end and only rarely enters the equation.
If you go on BDSM fetish sites, you'll rapidly come to the conclusion that bondage is typically seen as just another facet of kink and BDSM; one among many.


Something else to consider is that while this forum is dedicated to the small percentage of the kink community that values bondage and tie ups in their purest form, the most read and popular story on this site is a BDSM tale that actually features relatively few bondage scenes.



The point I'm getting at is that what you describe in your post is actually quite vanilla.
Many of the guys who focus most of their attention on this board are shocked when they sign up on kink-related hookup platforms and discover that serious fans of tugs and bondage are something of a rarity.


For the vast majority of the kink community, bondage is secondary and is only a means to get into the proper headspace.
That's one of the reasons why this little community of ours has survived for so long and continues to thrive. The rarity of tug/bondage lovers turns this place into a safe haven for those who value tugs/restraints/gags above all else.

Those who only view bondage as a marginal part of kink life are spread throughout tons of much larger, much more populated/known sites.