Approaching Boyfriend about being Dominant in Bondage?.

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Sabrina
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Approaching Boyfriend about being Dominant in Bondage?.

Post by Sabrina »


My Boyfriend and I have been practicing Bondage for sometime, we are into the lighter side of it, usually we do detailed roleplay revolving around Law Enforcement Scenarios, we use Handcuffs, zipties, spithoods, I even have a jail uniform for myself.


its always been him doing the restraining, and me being restrained.


He has given no indication he would like to swap once in a while, though I have recently thought about switching roles. id like to try being the Cop and placing the Cuffs on him.


How do I approach im the right way about this?.
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DallasNotAustin
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Post by DallasNotAustin »

Well kudos to you for finding a partner who you're able to indulge in TUGs with! My best piece of advice would be to just be transparent and be up front with him! You don't need to be overly pushy or anything, just casually mention that you might like a switch, and who knows, you both may end up liking it! I don't think that there's just one right way to go about it, but again, my advice would just to be as honest as possible. Bondage is built on honesty and trust, and you should be honest about a potential desire of yours and trust him to listen and try it out! And it doesn't pan out, well maybe it just wasn't meant to be for the time being and he'll have a change of heart in the future. Hope it goes well for you!
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McMurdoPI
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Post by McMurdoPI »

I agree with much of what Sabrina said however I would also point out that a Dom can do a much better job domming if they are able to empathize with the sub position. Personally I would not feel ok being tied up by someone who has never been tied up. I believe that people who are insecure about being tied but demand that others get tied do not have the appropriate amount of empathy to be in charge. Just my two cents though.
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Risperdaltied
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Post by Risperdaltied »

I agree with the above - just need to suggest it to him...

Had a similar incident years ago with a girlfriend at the time. We’d been playing TUGS for a while but being a 17-y-o didn’t even think she’d want a turn doing the tying! :roll: She just suggested it (probably fed up waiting for me to be the gentleman and offer!)

Taught me to discuss in future relationships - I remember one ex-girlfriend was amazed I asked and was over the moon as had always been the one bound in her ex-relationships.

Had the brief discussion with my wife - she is a flat ‘no’ - just loves to be tied up!
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Dpsiic
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Post by Dpsiic »

As the guys say above. Tell Him what you are thinking and why, personally I love taking a turn at being tied up. In any relationship you should feel comfortable talking about anything with your partner.
Shooney
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Post by Shooney »

Do you have an update on this Sabrina ? :)
Janus408989
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Post by Janus408989 »

I agree with all the advice which has already been given.

I would definitely suggest that you talk to your partner about what you would like to try.

He may or may not have a submissive side but I'm sure that he wouldn't see any harm in giving it a try. Males can often feel an expectation that they must play the dominant role... but in my experience, when given the right opportunity, many males find the experience of handing over that responsibility and expectation, surprisingly refreshing and liberating.

I am a switch myself and as others have already mentioned, my abilities as a dominant are very much based on my understanding of being the submissive.

If your partner does agree to give it a try, my best advice is to take the bull by the horns. Don't hold back, be the dominant in your thoughts and most importantly, enjoy the experience. You may be surprised at how your partner responds to it.

Good luck to you officer ;)
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JulieG
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Post by JulieG »

Just fight back one day and put the cuffs on him. If he ties you up all the time he can't really complain.
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