Finding Play Partners?

[boundsub]

For those who found a regular play partner, how'd you go about finding them? I'm currently on the search but I think this will help others.

I ask since while I have years of self bondage experience I'm still a bit limited when it comes to playing with others.... Also, self bondage isn't quite the same as playing with others anyway. I've met up with a few bondage lover's before and being located in Chicago, 3rd largest city in the US, it shouldn't be that hard honestly but I'm finding it strangely hard for some reason.

I've learned searching for guys from online at sites such as FetLife and Recon can lead to them flaking out when it comes time to meet up or you get guy's who never meet up or encountering guys who just seem to want an online pen pal (they could possibly be catfishers or fake profiles though). Maybe they're skiddish and have never met someone for bondage before? All part of the game but it get's to be frustrating after a while.

Those who did show up and I've met up with have been mostly good experiences for both of us but they're one and done meets since being in a large city there's always other guys distracting them which makes it hard to find regular play partners who can meet up more than once.

I've been to a kink club here once but the environment was very cliquey and if you didn't know anyone there you'd have a hard time making contacts and aren't on their radar when private play happens. I understand since trust is crucial for the bondage community but it is a bit discouraging still....

Kind of envious of those who have regular play partners and look at their fun pics they post online wondering "how did you guys find eachother?" such as the recently closed TiedGuyUK. And I think he lived in a sleepy little English town too but still managed to do well with regular play. Gay btw but I think others have similar frustrations no matter what their orientation is.

So for those who found a regular play partner how'd you find them?

[Tiedupsweater]

Hey! I'm from Joliet

[bound773]

For those who found a regular play partner, how'd you go about finding them? I'm currently on the search but I think this will help others.

I ask since while I have years of self bondage experience I'm still a bit limited when it comes to playing with others.... Also, self bondage isn't quite the same as playing with others anyway. I've met up with a few bondage lover's before and being located in Chicago, 3rd largest city in the US, it shouldn't be that hard honestly but I'm finding it strangely hard for some reason.

I've learned searching for guys from online at sites such as FetLife and Recon can lead to them flaking out when it comes time to meet up or you get guy's who never meet up or encountering guys who just seem to want an online pen pal (they could possibly be catfishers or fake profiles though). Maybe they're skiddish and have never met someone for bondage before? All part of the game but it get's to be frustrating after a while.

Those who did show up and I've met up with have been mostly good experiences for both of us but they're one and done meets since being in a large city there's always other guys distracting them which makes it hard to find regular play partners who can meet up more than once.

I've been to a kink club here once but the environment was very cliquey and if you didn't know anyone there you'd have a hard time making contacts and aren't on their radar when private play happens. I understand since trust is crucial for the bondage community but it is a bit discouraging still....

Kind of envious of those who have regular play partners and look at their fun pics they post online wondering "how did you guys find eachother?" such as the recently closed TiedGuyUK. And I think he lived in a sleepy little English town too but still managed to do well with regular play. Gay btw but I think others have similar frustrations no matter what their orientation is.

So for those who found a regular play partner how'd you find them?

I have had the same issue with Chicago as well. Though I think as porn gets more and more hardcore, bondage as a "kink" isn't as... well....kinky. Maybe others have gotten it out of their system or something. It was much easier to find people into bondage for the sake of bondage 20 years ago than it is now. At least for me. There was a group called the WCBC (Windy City bondage club) that I was went to three times. Sadly it closed down a few years back. I didn't really get to enjoy it in it's heyday. Recon is a tease. Never tried fetlife.

[BearPlants]

FetLife is good. Moderation is very strict so any rules, whatever they may be, are well enforced.

Most geographic areas have members who set up meet-ups, or a Munch, as they're called. They're really just get-to-know-the-community type events held in public places...bars, cafes, etc.

From there after getting to know people and forming a little bit more of a bond (no pun intended) with them, you can ask about play partner type relationships.

[bound773]

FetLife is good. Moderation is very strict so any rules, whatever they may be, are well enforced.

Most geographic areas have members who set up meet-ups, or a Munch, as they're called. They're really just get-to-know-the-community type events held in public places...bars, cafes, etc.

From there after getting to know people and forming a little bit more of a bond (no pun intended) with them, you can ask about play partner type relationships.

Thanks for the info. I'll look into it.

[boundsub]

Forgot I made this post. I have found irregular bondage partners since making this post since there's a kink convention hosted in Chicago called IML that's OK (though it helps if you have some sort of connection that you're meeting there from Fetlife or Recon) I've interestingly enough had more luck finding guys in Europe who are serious about bondage (there's some interesting differences between the US and EU kink scene I've noticed over the years) so far which makes but lost touch during the pandemic. And they're across an ocean so it's hard to meetup regularly... For those looking to do the same it's not easy finding play partners honestly if you're shy and introverted like me but it's not impossible either.

Working on overcoming my shyness honestly which seemed to get worse during lockdown, one of the reason it's been so difficult despite bondage being a very common kink.

BTW, another thread about this popped back up from years ago and BondageFreak had some helpful pointers for finding play partners for those looking: https://tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f= ... 2dd38997b4