Bondage and Autism

[Solarbeast]

So about a month or two ago, my parents revealed to me after 20+years that I have autism. I'm currently working through that news and what that means in my life, but when it comes to bondage, I found another reason why I have an interest in this. I kind of figured that my interest in mummification is linked to me having autism. I'm slowly having to rethink all the interests in bondage I have, but other than mummification, I am coming to discover that nothing has really changed, which at the moment is a good thing because I am having to relearn a lot about myself and teach myself better coping mechanisms that won't negatively affect my autism as much, if at all. Thank you for reading my rambling about my current situation.

[Xtc]

Having met many people with autism and taught several of them, I am always reminded that we're all on the spectrum.
Several talented musicians have used the characteristic to their advantage, as have most mathematicians I know (I am a mathematician!). I am just grateful that I have not had to teach myself what a joke is unlike some more seriously afflicted persons.

[Solarbeast]

I'm learning more and more how many people have the form of autism I have and other people with other forms of autism. Now it's just my turn to learn what that means for me and how I can use it to my advantage. It's just the fact I had to learn about it in this way that kind of has broken me, along with me currently dealing with finding a new job which has always been a problem for me.

[Beaumains]

It's a shame your parents kept that a secret from you for whatever reason. I wish you all the best but remember you are still the same person as before your diagnosis.

I have never before linked autism and bondage. Sure, you have stereotype of an autistic child wearing earmuffs in a busy area, but I cannot see how that would relate to bondage. Bondage is (at least for me) in a private setting without any more stimulus. I would link the order, clear commands, and rules from a more d/s setting more to autism. So I am curious how you relate mummification with autism.

Having met many people with autism and taught several of them, I am always reminded that we're all on the spectrum.
Several talented musicians have used the characteristic to their advantage, as have most mathematicians I know (I am a mathematician!). I am just grateful that I have not had to teach myself what a joke is unlike some more seriously afflicted persons.

Well said! I'm also a mathematician and recognize the description. Only, I have never been tested on autism, and I kinda expect that with the right doctor, I would receive the diagnosis.

[LockedCheeseBird]

I'm aware that I am still new here, and that we haven't encountered each other on the forum yet. So this response may seem strangely personal, feel free to disregard it if that is the case. No hard feelings here if you do.

That must have been a shock, suddenly finding that out after so many years. To imagine all those problems that could have benefitted from a bit more knowledge and understanding, and all the resources and skills you could have had in those times. I can imagine that you're feeling like you have lost something in the past, that you could have had it easier. Those thoughts and feelings are valid, and I hope you take time to grieve the past you could have had.

I can imagine a bit how you are feeling and how disorienting this time may be for you. I have an autism diagnosis as well. It was diagnosed five years ago, I was 22 back then. Last year I also got a ADHD-I diagnosis (what used to be ADD). So I can speak from some experience as well, I was also trained to be an experienced expert.

Something that helped me, eventually, was realizing that in essence any diagnosis is not really meant for us as the 'carriers'. It is for the doctors, the psychologists, the insurance people, etc. It is a way to codify things that might affect a person, a tool to get resources with, but not a direct explanation of how a mind works. It is a generalization. So it may not perfectly describe your experiences, because it isn't made to do that.

It can give you a sense of understanding, a validation that it isn't you, but that your brain is wired that way. That is valid too, and use that if you need it. Suddenly there are so many resources and experiences out there that might feel similar to yours, that can give a great feeling of belonging and of relief. In the end, every person can be summed up in symptoms if you really want to. There is no boundary between where you end and your symptoms begin, because everything is you. The symptoms are synthesized from many people like you, and then depersonalized. But at the individual level, they all started as personality traits. So, bad personality traits can be managed, trained, treated, of course, but nothing has changed in who you are as a person. It was always a part of you. Autism didn't cause a different you to emerge, your brain evolved in a way we later classify as autistic.

I have no idea if that is helpful in any way, or if it even make sense. Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions you might have if you want to, or to completely disregard this if you don't want it. Do what helps you most. That extents to any other person who has questions about this, by the way.

The connection between autism and bondage has crossed my mind before. I wanted to make sure I liked it for the right reasons, not just to cope with something that should be addressed in another way, but that I like it for the activity itself. And I discovered that everything is connected with each other, I cannot see one part separate from the others. So, the fact that I find bondage enjoyable, want to have some D/s-aspects in my relationships, and my need for external deadlines and dependability are all connected. I'm still working out how to go forwards from here, though. One step at a time.

[bondagefreak]

[mention]LockedCheeseBird[/mention] Being passingly familiar with [mention]Solarbeast[/mention], I think he will be touched by this insight you're sharing. What you wrote is probably one of the most blissful and well-grounded posts I've seen in a long time.

[ExcessivelyCurious]

I'm also autistic myself. I'm in my early twenties, and only got my diagnosis about a year ago. My parents and I all suspected it for quite some time, and I was considering pursuing a diagnosis by myself before they finally suggested I get assessed. To me it wasn't too surprising as I already heavily suspected it, but it is certainly a big thing to process.

While frankly you can do whatever you want with it, I have found the label of autism helpful. I've found a lot of shared experiences with other autistic people, and thinking about autism specifically has helped me with developing my coping mechanisms.

For what it's worth, I do know a couple of other autistic people who enjoy bondage, but that could very well be coincidence. I do wonder if there might be a link between some of the bondage I enjoy and my reaction to certain sensory stimuli (sensory stuff being fairly common in autism), but that's just one facet of a much larger whole.

[Solarbeast]

Thanks to all that have posted on this post, it was interesting to read everyone's opinion on the matter.

[mention]Beaumains[/mention]. As of late, the way I'm relating autism to mummification is because lately, I've been doing it more and more for stimming for my autism/ anti-anxiety and not for what I used to do it for.

[mention]LockedCheeseBird[/mention] I really liked what you wrote because much of it is how I feel like it relates to me. I'm actually very much happy with who I was in my past and the journey I took in the past. I was more annoyed with the fact that my parents seemingly knew about it and just never told me. I'm happy that I can now be aware of the potential to get overstimulated and how I can try to control that in my current job and other aspects of my life. I've had trouble with that in my current job before I knew about this diagnosis, and I never fully knew what was causing it and how to fix it, but now I'm more aware of ways to control it.

[mention]ExcessivelyCurious[/mention] I do think that I enjoy aspects of bondage because of the stimulation needs I have because of my autism. For example, mummification is something I'm doing more because of my stimulation needs to my autism, and not why I was doing it in the past.

[mikeybound]

Most people I’ve met prefer “I’m autistic” to “I have autism”, but on this topic, bondage can be considered a form of stimming?

[Solarbeast]

[mention]mikeybound[/mention]. Yea, I’m slowly working towards saying “I’m autistic”, but it’s still hard for me to say it that way. At the moment it’s just easier for me to say “I have autism”.

[uemndlr]

Temple Grandin famously invented the squeeze machine, a box which constricts you tightly. She felt soothed and calmed by this experience.

All autistic people are very different, so you can never generalise, but does bondage maybe serve a similar purpose?