Could you live without bondage?

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faye2013
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Could you live without bondage?

Post by faye2013 »

Me and my boyfriend have gone since last September without any bondage at all 😩 due to covid restrictions and house decorating being done. It's driving us both crazy as all we want to do is tie each other up, gag each other and have some playtime😁

What's the longest you've gone without bondage?

Do you think you could live without doing bondage for the rest of your life?
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Post by HandgagLover »

Well I've always found it difficult when I have family staying and I can't do any self bondage...

Think I could last maybe a month/6 weeks though!
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Post by The WinterShuffle »

It’s been over a year since I was bound and gagged by someone else, and this has taught me that I really can’t :lol:
I can function without it sure, but to me, being tied up is like a part of me as a person, same as my die hard fandom for the Canucks, or my fascination with dinosaurs. I wouldn’t try to suppress those or ignore them, so I have the mentality that I shouldn’t try and fully suppress this either.
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Post by captured_prize »

I've gone through stretches of time without doing any bondage. This was especially the case when I was in college and living in a dorm. I always keep coming back to it. It's a part of me and I've accepted that.
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Post by Syko Sith »

Maybe I could. But like @captured_prize said, its a part of who I am.
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Post by Nexus »

I’ve come to learn in recent years that bondage is absolutely something I need.
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Post by Chloe Badelaine »

faye2013 wrote: 2 months ago What's the longest you've gone without bondage?
42 days
faye2013 wrote: 2 months ago Do you think you could live without doing bondage for the rest of your life?
Absolutely not. Bondage is part of my life, tried to get into some relatioships without it, always a big failure. I really need to tie or be tied.
Can't and won't do without it.
I believe now is the time that you tie me up ? But i think that you are going to need much much more rope mon cher...
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Post by David Han »

no that is part of me
Tie me up and have fun with me
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Post by MissEmpressive »

I haven’t been properly tied and gagged for a couple years now so probably, as long as I have some stories or BDSM videos to keep me company
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Post by JulieG »

Chloe Badelaine wrote: 2 months ago
faye2013 wrote: 2 months ago What's the longest you've gone without bondage?
42 days
faye2013 wrote: 2 months ago Do you think you could live without doing bondage for the rest of your life?
Absolutely not. Bondage is part of my life, tried to get into some relatioships without it, always a big failure. I really need to tie or be tied.
Can't and won't do without it.
Chloe, do you keep a bondage.diary to be so.accurate.as.42/days between tie ups?
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Post by illest »

This is interesting because there's a few stints in my life where I stopped doing self bondage. The main one was during my relationship with my ex. I believe I went at least well over a year without it until one day where I just had to take it up again. In fact I feel at a point where I'm trying to stop again and just be satisfied with watching other people/artwork of people tied up. The interesting about bondage(as well as other fetishes) is that it's really difficult to pinpoint why or how you got into it. You just know that you're really into it. It at least comes across to me a little different than people who get addicted to alcohol or drugs or even simple fun hobbies like video games. With those you can usually harken back to a rough period or a experimental phase or peer pressure pr with games just playing at a friend's house and really liking it.

With bondage on the other hand I have very little clues on why I enjoy it so much. I remember as a kid playing superhero/villain games with my cousin and enjoying being tied up. It was nothing sexual about it at the time. My cousin was a guy and I to this day with no offense to anyone otherwise have always been completely heterosexual. I just liked the feel of being tied up. I'd go to sleep and constantly have dreams of being kidnapped, mostly in cartoon Inspector Gadget-esqe scenarios. It's like I never really had a choice in the matter. My body and subconscious just conspired to choose bondage and my free thinking could do jack all against the subliminal advertising my brain was putting out.

Could I stop doing bondage? Begrudgingly yes, if for nothing else than to keep a obsession that's becoming unhealthy in check. Could I could turkey stop looking at or thinking about bondage? As much as I want to think I could, I honestly don't think I have a choice in the matter anymore. I don't think I ever had a choice in the matter. It's why even as a straight Christian I sympathize with the LGBT community. There's some things I just can't simply explain or write off. Dealing with my own fetish(es), it makes me realize that we're just in a sense wired a certain way and to that degree should just be understanding and supportive towards each other. So in a very roundabout awkward sense, being into something as taboo as bondage I feel has kind of made me a better person than I would have been without.
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Post by Svpmissive »

I've definitely had periods where I wasn't possible to indulge or just pure lack of interest... However I don't think I could ever live without it.
Either wishing to be tied up or currently tied up.
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Post by antoinedt »

illest wrote: 2 months ago This is interesting because there's a few stints in my life where I stopped doing self bondage. The main one was during my relationship with my ex. I believe I went at least well over a year without it until one day where I just had to take it up again. In fact I feel at a point where I'm trying to stop again and just be satisfied with watching other people/artwork of people tied up. The interesting about bondage(as well as other fetishes) is that it's really difficult to pinpoint why or how you got into it. You just know that you're really into it. It at least comes across to me a little different than people who get addicted to alcohol or drugs or even simple fun hobbies like video games. With those you can usually harken back to a rough period or a experimental phase or peer pressure pr with games just playing at a friend's house and really liking it.

With bondage on the other hand I have very little clues on why I enjoy it so much. I remember as a kid playing superhero/villain games with my cousin and enjoying being tied up. It was nothing sexual about it at the time. My cousin was a guy and I to this day with no offense to anyone otherwise have always been completely heterosexual. I just liked the feel of being tied up. I'd go to sleep and constantly have dreams of being kidnapped, mostly in cartoon Inspector Gadget-esqe scenarios. It's like I never really had a choice in the matter. My body and subconscious just conspired to choose bondage and my free thinking could do jack all against the subliminal advertising my brain was putting out.

Could I stop doing bondage? Begrudgingly yes, if for nothing else than to keep a obsession that's becoming unhealthy in check. Could I could turkey stop looking at or thinking about bondage? As much as I want to think I could, I honestly don't think I have a choice in the matter anymore. I don't think I ever had a choice in the matter. It's why even as a straight Christian I sympathize with the LGBT community. There's some things I just can't simply explain or write off. Dealing with my own fetish(es), it makes me realize that we're just in a sense wired a certain way and to that degree should just be understanding and supportive towards each other. So in a very roundabout awkward sense, being into something as taboo as bondage I feel has kind of made me a better person than I would have been without.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, well said and I can relate.

I also think I developed into a very non-judgmental person, namely because I can't do that in good conscious knowing that there's this part of myself deeply ingrained into my sexuality with which I had no choice in the matter.

It is interesting that you compare it to addictions like alcoholism or smoking and are wary that it could be an obsession that might become too unhealthy. I definitely see where you coming from there and I suspect it must be some characteristic of a fetish rather than as a facet of sexuality. We see plenty of more "vanilla" people that have their sexuality in check and although they enjoy it, they aren't obsessed with it. I don't know how LGBT folk would fit into that, I think it's safe to say it's a false stereotype that they are more sexually promiscuous or obsessed or something like that. Honesty, it probably just has to do with suppression. The more something is suppressed, the more easily the desire develops into an obsession, so to compensate with the lack of practicing and acting them out. And even more so than with LGBT are fetishes barely recognized by society nor talked about in public or research (as far as I know).

In my case, although I've fully accepted my sexuality and stopped judging it so harshly as I expected society to, I've felt much more at peace in my soul but I still easily get into periods where I overly focus on it and it feels like an addiction I have to take a step back from. It's usually stress related based on what external factors I have going on in my life. So maybe that's just normal, I'm sure it's the same for everyone else. Sex (in whatever form) as a way to escape and de-stress.

I have lots of theories as to why I have the fetishes that I do but they're all so abstract. Like you, I can't point to the specific events that resulted in the formation of this part of myself. Was it a result? Could it have been actually avoided? Did events trigger a potential that was actually there since the beginning?
I would assume so. Like everything else about ourselves, not just our sexuality, we have a potential or affinity towards many things and our environment influences what actions, behavior and habits we exhibit. Poorly said but I have a particular psychology result in mind where you can have two people that are genetically dispositioned towards alcoholism however as dependent on their family and other external stimuli, one might not become an alcoholic at all.
Anyways, the way I see it now: maybe developing a fetish was never something to avoid, never a problem. Rather, it is a solution to what we need to cope with our specific lives.
I do just find it so curious that although we have this specific thing, that is unique to us, it's also not that unique? Like.. there are dozens of us?! It's natural to some extent and I don't understand why no societies have talked about in length and it's always an underground thing. Strange.
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Post by faye2013 »

HandgagLover wrote: 2 months ago Well I've always found it difficult when I have family staying and I can't do any self bondage...

Think I could last maybe a month/6 weeks though!

I share your problems. I've never done self bondage, I don't have any materials as my partner looks after them all. But I could probably find materials around the house to do self bondage with but the biggest problem is always having family around. It's so nice to have to alone time, peace and quiet cause that's when the bondage fun starts! 😄
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Post by faye2013 »

The WinterShuffle wrote: 2 months ago It’s been over a year since I was bound and gagged by someone else, and this has taught me that I really can’t :lol:
I can function without it sure, but to me, being tied up is like a part of me as a person, same as my die hard fandom for the Canucks, or my fascination with dinosaurs. I wouldn’t try to suppress those or ignore them, so I have the mentality that I shouldn’t try and fully suppress this either.

I completely understand how you feel. It's torture!! 😭 I try to distract my mind mind off bondage and try not to think about it much otherwise it gets me down so much😟 I wish I joined on here sooner through last year and lockdowns as I think it would of helped me cope a bit more better
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Post by faye2013 »

captured_prize wrote: 2 months ago I've gone through stretches of time without doing any bondage. This was especially the case when I was in college and living in a dorm. I always keep coming back to it. It's a part of me and I've accepted that.
@Syko Sith , @Nexus, @captured_prize, @David Han and @Svpmissive I completely agree with you all. Many years ago I lived without bondage as I didn't practice and no much about it. Buff since I've actually practiced and researched more intro bondage it's definitely a part of me too and it's tough to live without it
Last edited by faye2013 1 month ago, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by faye2013 »

Chloe Badelaine wrote: 2 months ago
faye2013 wrote: 2 months ago What's the longest you've gone without bondage?
42 days
faye2013 wrote: 2 months ago Do you think you could live without doing bondage for the rest of your life?
Absolutely not. Bondage is part of my life, tried to get into some relatioships without it, always a big failure. I really need to tie or be tied.
Can't and won't do without it.


I've never had a relationship prior to the one I have so I wouldn't know truly what that must feel like but wow .. that must be incredibly difficult. I couldn't imagine being in a different relationship and not do bondage... I'd have to tie up and gag the guy whilist he sleeps 😂
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Post by faye2013 »

illest wrote: 2 months ago This is interesting because there's a few stints in my life where I stopped doing self bondage. The main one was during my relationship with my ex. I believe I went at least well over a year without it until one day where I just had to take it up again. In fact I feel at a point where I'm trying to stop again and just be satisfied with watching other people/artwork of people tied up. The interesting about bondage(as well as other fetishes) is that it's really difficult to pinpoint why or how you got into it. You just know that you're really into it. It at least comes across to me a little different than people who get addicted to alcohol or drugs or even simple fun hobbies like video games. With those you can usually harken back to a rough period or a experimental phase or peer pressure pr with games just playing at a friend's house and really liking it.

With bondage on the other hand I have very little clues on why I enjoy it so much. I remember as a kid playing superhero/villain games with my cousin and enjoying being tied up. It was nothing sexual about it at the time. My cousin was a guy and I to this day with no offense to anyone otherwise have always been completely heterosexual. I just liked the feel of being tied up. I'd go to sleep and constantly have dreams of being kidnapped, mostly in cartoon Inspector Gadget-esqe scenarios. It's like I never really had a choice in the matter. My body and subconscious just conspired to choose bondage and my free thinking could do jack all against the subliminal advertising my brain was putting out.

Could I stop doing bondage? Begrudgingly yes, if for nothing else than to keep a obsession that's becoming unhealthy in check. Could I could turkey stop looking at or thinking about bondage? As much as I want to think I could, I honestly don't think I have a choice in the matter anymore. I don't think I ever had a choice in the matter. It's why even as a straight Christian I sympathize with the LGBT community. There's some things I just can't simply explain or write off. Dealing with my own fetish(es), it makes me realize that we're just in a sense wired a certain way and to that degree should just be understanding and supportive towards each other. So in a very roundabout awkward sense, being into something as taboo as bondage I feel has kind of made me a better person than I would have been without.


Thats very interesting to know at all @illest 😊 thank you for that! I think we all have our different ways of coping without Bondage and we all have different strengths on how long we can go without it. Some of us find it more difficult to cope and others distract themselves with other hobbies. Without a doubt, it's always tough.

For myself I haven't done bondage in 11 months..next month will be a whole year. Me and my partner don't no how we've coped. Life has felt so strange without bondage in our lives. We talk about bondage pretty much every day and we even have new materials to try out that are also almost a year old and we still haven't tried those out. We're both hoping we can get to do Bondage soon, it hasn't felt the same without it and we miss all the fun and struggles that come along with it
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Post by Damsel-Dilara-Dee »

I don't think I could, especially not consuming any bondage media like bondage vids, DID scenes in movies/TV, or writing. It's something I've loved for a while and can't un-love. Like @antoinedt referenced there are some times I obsess about it more than others due to external factors (stress, boredom, not having self-tied or watched a vid for a while) but it's a big part of me.
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Post by faye2013 »

Damsel-Dilara-Dee wrote: 1 month ago I don't think I could, especially not consuming any bondage media like bondage vids, DID scenes in movies/TV, or writing. It's something I've loved for a while and can't un-love. Like @antoinedt referenced there are some times I obsess about it more than others due to external factors (stress, boredom, not having self-tied or watched a vid for a while) but it's a big part of me.
I couldn't agree with you more. I find it so difficult not to look at anything bondage related, it's something that always comes back to my mind and I end up looking at it again teasing myself 😅
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Post by Nexus »

faye2013 wrote: 1 month ago
Damsel-Dilara-Dee wrote: 1 month ago I don't think I could, especially not consuming any bondage media like bondage vids, DID scenes in movies/TV, or writing. It's something I've loved for a while and can't un-love. Like @antoinedt referenced there are some times I obsess about it more than others due to external factors (stress, boredom, not having self-tied or watched a vid for a while) but it's a big part of me.
I couldn't agree with you more. I find it so difficult not to look at anything bondage related, it's something that always comes back to my mind and I end up looking at it again teasing myself 😅
Yup. When I’m not trying to plan my next bondage date I’m almost constantly refreshing my fetlife feed looking for fresh pics, or popping in here. Just can’t stop thinking about it! It’s almost annoying, haha. Looks like I’ll get some bondage action this weekend though, so I’m pumped!
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Post by faye2013 »

Nexus wrote: 1 month ago
faye2013 wrote: 1 month ago
Damsel-Dilara-Dee wrote: 1 month ago I don't think I could, especially not consuming any bondage media like bondage vids, DID scenes in movies/TV, or writing. It's something I've loved for a while and can't un-love. Like @antoinedt referenced there are some times I obsess about it more than others due to external factors (stress, boredom, not having self-tied or watched a vid for a while) but it's a big part of me.
I couldn't agree with you more. I find it so difficult not to look at anything bondage related, it's something that always comes back to my mind and I end up looking at it again teasing myself 😅
Yup. When I’m not trying to plan my next bondage date I’m almost constantly refreshing my fetlife feed looking for fresh pics, or popping in here. Just can’t stop thinking about it! It’s almost annoying, haha. Looks like I’ll get some bondage action this weekend though, so I’m pumped!


Aww nooo I'm so jealous your having bondage fun this weekend!!! I wish I was!!!! Oh do have fun and you'll definitely have to tell me all about it 😊
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Post by Nexus »

faye2013 wrote: 1 month ago
Nexus wrote: 1 month ago
faye2013 wrote: 1 month ago

I couldn't agree with you more. I find it so difficult not to look at anything bondage related, it's something that always comes back to my mind and I end up looking at it again teasing myself 😅
Yup. When I’m not trying to plan my next bondage date I’m almost constantly refreshing my fetlife feed looking for fresh pics, or popping in here. Just can’t stop thinking about it! It’s almost annoying, haha. Looks like I’ll get some bondage action this weekend though, so I’m pumped!


Aww nooo I'm so jealous your having bondage fun this weekend!!! I wish I was!!!! Oh do have fun and you'll definitely have to tell me all about it 😊
Just posted about it in the weekend thread 8-)
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Post by Tights tights tights »

Absaloutly not!

Even during the pandemic I could never go a whole day without thinking about bondage, I often still look at pictures online of women being tied up and gagged.

I still occasionally talk to my Kik girlfriend who lives all the way in the US and she always says how she is going to grab and kidnap me and tie me up and gag and blindfold me.

To me living without bondage is like living without food and drink.
Last edited by Tights tights tights 3 weeks ago, edited 1 time in total.
HHHMMMPP mmnnpph mmpph nnnpph hmm hmmm mmmnnn hhhmmhhpp
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Post by Silver_noro »

I never thought about it.
In my case, before marrying my man, I could bear long periods without being tied up (especially when my bro, my first and best rigger, moved out from family home).
The latest period was more or less almost 8 months during the first wave of this pandemia.
my onii-chan and I couldn't keep in touch because of the lockdown and because he did the best he could do to follow the health minister guidelines for every healthcare operators.

Now, after getting married, well.
It's pretty difficult not spending few hours per week bound and gagged by my hubby.
Being tied up is my way to relax, leaving my fate to hubby's hands.
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