Kink shaming

[honourthechapter1775]

Now as much as I hate and detest the word kink I think it holds some appropriate relevance to this topic here. I doubt it will be very popular though.

The real question I wanted to throw out there to you to be answered is that are you or have you ever been ashamed of your kink?

[McMurdoPI]

Tyrion really says it best;
https://youtu.be/7St9TtLzoLk

At the end if the day you are best off knowing yourself. That does not mean venerating your gratification or losing yourself in it. But it also means moving past personal shame.

Shame is a tool of social engagement, however it is too often directed at those who should be supported and reintegrated into society while it's truw purpose is really for punching up. Shame has been used around the world to bring down the corrupt and powerful which is why misdirecting it is so important to the status quo.

No one can have true moral autonomy to do what is right under the shadow of personal shame. You must cast it off.

[honourthechapter1775]

Tyrion really says it best;
https://youtu.be/7St9TtLzoLk

At the end if the day you are best off knowing yourself. That does not mean venerating your gratification or losing yourself in it. But it also means moving past personal shame.

Shame is a tool of social engagement, however it is too often directed at those who should be supported and reintegrated into society while it's truw purpose is really for punching up. Shame has been used around the world to bring down the corrupt and powerful which is why misdirecting it is so important to the status quo.

No one can have true moral autonomy to do what is right under the shadow of personal shame. You must cast it off.

If only it were as easy as you say it to be perhaps the world maybe a better place but there are always going to be people who will mock and joke at the expense of others.

I have and probably always will be ashamed of my kink even though its not only a big part of me but who I am. It's a shame I have come to live with and almost accept as strange as it sounds to accept your shame but there's no other way around it. Were it so easy just to cast it off to the wind I would do so but things and life as themselves aren't easy.

If people were more open and accepting of it maybe I wouldn't but as things stand I am and probably always will be

[TheOfficeOrc]

Reminds me of a John Stuart Mill quote:
"Protection, therefore, against the tyranny of the magistrate is not enough; there needs protection also against the tyranny of the prevailing opinion and feeling; against the tendency of society to impose, by other means than civil penalties, its own ideas and practices as rule of conduct on those who dissent from them."

You see it in all walks of life. We determine who is safe to be around based on arbitrary factors like behaviour, appearance, dialect, etc etc. Anyone who breaks the status quo of the group is seen as dangerous and a threat to the unity of the group and therefore the safety of it's members, and so are usually shunned.

All that individualism has done, as far as I can tell, is splinter people into smaller subgroups.

There is always some amount of compromise to be made to fit in with a given group of people, but if you're having to repress an important part of yourself then maybe the group is not right for you; or you at least need another group in your life with whom you can share those things.

In some ways shame can be helpful. If I avoid chores all day, it's shame that gets me off my butt the next day to catch up; but I am not ashamed of being lazy, I am ashamed that I ruined my environment.

I am not ashamed of who I am, I am ashamed when I am able to stop myself negatively impacting the world around me and I choose not to.

Unless you are choosing to harm others in the name of your kink, I see no reason to be ashamed.

[TightsBound]

I occasionally feel some kink shame, though it will never change how I feel about said kinks. I have a slight foot fetish, which seems to get trashed more than any other in the general public. The word “freak” has been thrown around regarding that. Beyond hoping that my kinks don’t become known by the wrong people, I usually just disregard the comments.

[honourthechapter1775]

Thanks for the response guys although it makes me feel a tad better about myself I don't think I'll ever truly be free of the shame I have for my kink unfortunately it's just something I think I'll have to come to terms with. I just really wanted to throw the thought out there and see if anyone else experienced the same as I do when it comes to bring ashamed of your kink as it were so it's given me some reassurance that I'm not alone in this.

[faye2013]

Thanks for the response guys although it makes me feel a tad better about myself I don't think I'll ever truly be free of the shame I have for my kink unfortunately it's just something I think I'll have to come to terms with. I just really wanted to throw the thought out there and see if anyone else experienced the same as I do when it comes to bring ashamed of your kink as it were so it's given me some reassurance that I'm not alone in this.

Love, you'll never be alone in this. You will always have me and we can share this beautiful hobby of ours together it's not fair how difficult it is to bring it up to others but I think that's cause how fifty shades has three a bad light on bondage and everyone thinks it's bad hobby to do. There are good and bad sides to everything but as long as we and others area being careful with bondage, it's a lovely past time to participate in and I can honestly can and know that it's done us a whole heap of goodness for us and our relationship and brought us closer. I will always love bondage and I'll always love practicing it with you

[MtnReign]

Thanks for the response guys although it makes me feel a tad better about myself I don't think I'll ever truly be free of the shame I have for my kink unfortunately it's just something I think I'll have to come to terms with. I just really wanted to throw the thought out there and see if anyone else experienced the same as I do when it comes to bring ashamed of your kink as it were so it's given me some reassurance that I'm not alone in this.

As someone who has been through what you're feeling, it's entirely okay. Personally, it had to do with how I was raised and that let me to feel shame for what I enjoyed. I'm not sure if its the same for you, but understand that it's something you enjoy or even a part of you if it's deep enough. Accepting yourself can be difficult, but in doing so, I don't think that you'll feel shame about it any more.

I also have a disdain for that word, in addition to many of the other traditional bdsm titles. I've felt like an anomaly even within such an accepting (at times) group. Don't feel like you're alone in this, there is plenty of us out here who feel similar to you.