Tying someone else while in a relationship

[BoundandgaggedN8T]

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 years and even though she lets me tie her up a lot, I have tied up other women while I have been dating my girlfriend but had never done anything sexual with them.

My girlfriend got pretty mad when she found out that I had been tying up other women so I stopped for the moment.

Now I want to get y’all’s opinions on tying up someone else when in a relationship and if your partner doesn’t do bondage with you then do you still do it with other people?

[Nexus]

Heh, this is definitely my field of expertise. What I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter what others do or think, what matters is what the woman you’re with thinks. That’s all.

I’ll try to keep my story short. I was with my wife for 14 years. For the first half of that she seemed into being tied up and we played somewhat frequently. Then things dropped off drastically, and she basically admitted she wasn’t into it. This lead to tensions between us, and rather than talk this through with her (which in hindsight i absolutely should have done first), I started tying up other women behind her back. Like you said, no sexual acts, so it seemed like I wasn’t really cheating or anything. But I more or less let her find out, and no, she was not happy. She was quite hurt, and frankly, it resulted in the end of our marriage. Another woman might have been ok to let me step outside the marriage to satisfy this one need, but my wife was not. So, as I said, it really comes down to what each individual wants/needs.

[Elusive_Lady]

Heh, this is definitely my field of expertise. What I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter what others do or think, what matters is what the woman you’re with thinks. That’s all.

This.

[ExcessivelyCurious]

Communication and trust are vital in a relationship. For most people, secret bondage sessions with other people would certainly qualify as cheating.

I do know at least one couple where they discussed it and, since one is into bondage and the other really isn't, agreed they could have a somewhat-open relationship where he does bondage with other people. But again, they agreed to this and discussed the terms, which is important.

[Straitjacketed]

Depends on the specific rules agreed within your relationship.

[BoundandgaggedN8T]

Heh, this is definitely my field of expertise. What I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter what others do or think, what matters is what the woman you’re with thinks. That’s all.

I’ll try to keep my story short. I was with my wife for 14 years. For the first half of that she seemed into being tied up and we played somewhat frequently. Then things dropped off drastically, and she basically admitted she wasn’t into it. This lead to tensions between us, and rather than talk this through with her (which in hindsight i absolutely should have done first), I started tying up other women behind her back. Like you said, no sexual acts, so it seemed like I wasn’t really cheating or anything. But I more or less let her find out, and no, she was not happy. She was quite hurt, and frankly, it resulted in the end of our marriage. Another woman might have been ok to let me step outside the marriage to satisfy this one need, but my wife was not. So, as I said, it really comes down to what each individual wants/needs.

I think my girlfriend is just jealous that I’m hanging out with other women more than being mad at me for tying up other women.

Also the women I tie up are friends, not random women I just meet to tie up.

[leconteur]

Part of being in a relationship is hashing this out. She may not wish you to be hanging out with female friends that she identifies as your potential future mates. That may be a bit of a boundary issue for many, for instance I would have a problem with a spouse who did not let me spend time with anyone of the opposite sex without her being present. Then again, part of a strong relationship means giving a little. You may need to spend less time with these friends if you wish to keep the relationship. Whether that is worth it to you or not is up to you.

[WillHBonney]

I think my girlfriend is just jealous that I’m hanging out with other women more than being mad at me for tying up other women.

Even if this is the case, indulging in tie ups with them surely won’t help the matter.

To answer your question, my girlfriend regularly ties me up. She knows I get satisfaction out of it.
In the past I have tied her up. She isn’t into being tied up like I am but she’ll occasionally humour me.

I think my girlfriend would quite rightly be very upset if I were to tie someone other than her up. Simply because she is aware of the sexual satisfaction I get out of it, and it would be viewed as me getting my kicks from someone outside the relationship and ultimately, no different to cheating.

Bondage is a well known fetish so whenever you indulge in it (even if only for fun) you run the risk of it being interpreted as a sexual act. Whether you say nothing sexual was done, your girlfriend is aware of your enjoyment of bondage so she’ll know what you are getting out of tying other women up. And equally, your girlfriend might not like the idea of you helping someone else get their pleasures.
Probably the best thing to do is be open and honest with your girlfriend about it and see how she feels. Communication is massive. You might find that she isn’t annoyed at the tie ups themselves but the secrecy of them.

It kinda reminds me of the Inbetweeners movie when the 4 boys are on holiday and Neil, who has a girlfriend back in England, continually kisses and humps different women but claims it’s not cheating because they “didn’t use tongues” or “only the tip went in”

[BoundandgaggedN8T]

Part of being in a relationship is hashing this out. She may not wish you to be hanging out with female friends that she identifies as your potential future mates. That may be a bit of a boundary issue for many, for instance I would have a problem with a spouse who did not let me spend time with anyone of the opposite sex without her being present. Then again, part of a strong relationship means giving a little. You may need to spend less time with these friends if you wish to keep the relationship. Whether that is worth it to you or not is up to you.

She gets pretty upset about all of this but I don’t think our relationship will end over this because we’re super close and been together for a long time.

[BoundandgaggedN8T]

I think my girlfriend is just jealous that I’m hanging out with other women more than being mad at me for tying up other women.

Even if this is the case, indulging in tie ups with them surely won’t help the matter.

To answer your question, my girlfriend regularly ties me up. She knows I get satisfaction out of it.
In the past I have tied her up. She isn’t into being tied up like I am but she’ll occasionally humour me.

I think my girlfriend would quite rightly be very upset if I were to tie someone other than her up. Simply because she is aware of the sexual satisfaction I get out of it, and it would be viewed as me getting my kicks from someone outside the relationship and ultimately, no different to cheating.

Bondage is a well known fetish so whenever you indulge in it (even if only for fun) you run the risk of it being interpreted as a sexual act. Whether you say nothing sexual was done, your girlfriend is aware of your enjoyment of bondage so she’ll know what you are getting out of tying other women up. And equally, your girlfriend might not like the idea of you helping someone else get their pleasures.
Probably the best thing to do is be open and honest with your girlfriend about it and see how she feels. Communication is massive. You might find that she isn’t annoyed at the tie ups themselves but the secrecy of them.

It kinda reminds me of the Inbetweeners movie when the 4 boys are on holiday and Neil, who has a girlfriend back in England, continually kisses and humps different women but claims it’s not cheating because they “didn’t use tongues” or “only the tip went in”

My girlfriend knows that all of the tie ups I do with her are sexual so she probably thinks that my other tie ups are sexual which is not the case.