Sometimes I feel like two totally different people.

[illest]

Also it's a day/night transition. During normal hours and circumstances I feel like a perfectly sound guy who just works hard, tries to find a exercise routine and have a standard sex life(except for ogling a few BBWs here and there).

But almost at random inevitably emerges from me this submissive that perouses everything from DA to Boundhub for bondage ideas, gets turned on and just wants to be tied kneeling in a closet in a maid uniform with a 2 inch ballgag by a domineering woman who blackmails me. Like it feels like two totally different people at time, though I know that's not the case. I generally still feel the same as far as my sexuality; I'm still 100% only into women. However I feel like being tied up in itself has a hypnotic effect on me where I'm more susceptible to impulses I would ordinarily not even entertain. Like I feel like bondage was a Pandora's Box to about 20 other fetishes that I'm only into when being bound and gagged is part of the deal.

[Svpmissive]

I totally understand where your thoughts are coming from... I absolutely love daydreaming about subspace and the feeling of surrendering control to a more powerful woman. However at the same time I feel mostly hopeless knowing I many never be able to find that forever one. And as hot as it is reading 24x7 submission stories, I know that I couldn't see myself living that lifestyle.

[captured_prize]

Believe me, I understand how you feel. Like you, I have my everyday life and then there's my bondage life. With my crossdressing, it can further augment the feeling that I'm two different people. It used to cause some internal conflict with me, trying to reconcile both my masculine and feminine sides as well as the feelings of submission from doing bondage conflicting with my more masculine traits.

What helps me as that I think of myself as a coin and theses traits are just two sides of the same coin. Both my masculine and feminine traits are just part of who I am as a whole person. As far as my desires for bondage and submission, that's just another side of the coin, too. I'll admit I never want to be tied up when in guy mode but when I'm in fem mode, I'm very receptive to getting bound and gagged.