Is rope bondage as dangerous as everyone says?

[silvertape]

Some of the stories about tied-up friends, relatives, and significant others on here are just wild and it can be hard to believe that they actually happened as written, the "True Stories" label notwithstanding.

What's never discussed, however, is the potential risk involved. And if you google "rope bondage safety," the results aren't exactly flattering; all the bondage knot tutorial websites warn that bondage has the potential to cause severe, lifelong injury and/or nerve damage, and they usually recommend getting in-person instruction from a professional bondage instructor before you ever tie your first knot.

Rope Study:

While we often talk generally about “safety,” we intentionally titled this section “Reducing Risk” to stress the fact that rope bondage is not safe.

We want to repeat that: rope bondage is not safe.

...many forms of rope bondage can be dangerous, and you can be injured, sometimes seriously and with long-lasting, life-impacting consequences.

Reddit:

I agree with previous comments, if you want to explore rope for serious bondage, don't learn online. Don't believe a word from anybody anywhere on the interwebz. Go learn from people that really do this.

Probably one of the more dangerous kinks depending on what you're planning to tie and your knowledge around it. Don't listen to anyone suggesting you learn things online, I have people come to my class all the time that have learned from places like shibari study, the duchy, etc. and they all make very bad mistakes.

There are soooo many risk factors other than strangulation. Nerve damage, loss of blood flow from constricted veins or arteries, falls, knots slipping or sinching, many small bones in the hands, wrists, ankles, feet, and floating ribs that can be damaged. This is a kink that requires a lot of education in order to be practiced safely.

Education? Most of us started tying other people up when we were kids! The way we write our stories, if the sub's hands aren't pulsating blue, we think nothing of the act of tying them.

So what do you all think of this dichotomy between "tie-up-games are fun" and "bondage is dangerous"? Is tying up your sibling/parent/lover something that shouldn't be tried at home, or can TUG's be safe as long as you don't delve into more hardcore forms of tying?

[BlissfulMisery]

As the common spiel that probably everyone has read or heard at least once goes, there is no such thing as 100% safety with bondage, no matter how experienced you are or how carefully you do things. You always have to accept some risk.

But there is some risk with almost anything. You can also suffer 'lifelong-injuries' from basically any remotely physical activity. Yet for obvious reasons, nobody says to avoid all such things.

In the context of stories, I will say the biggest thing that is common that really bothers me is 'people being left alone while tied up'. It is actually extremely dangerous to do that, even for a short period of time (especially a gagged person, and even more especially gags with stuffing that can move and obstruct the airway, such as socks or cloth of various kinds), and honestly that is something I would never ever ever *ever* recommend doing in real life.

The stark warnings exist because a lot of people come into this hobby without thinking too much about it, and that can be dangerous. Personally, I would be hesitant to play with anyone who did not seem to take the risks seriously; that does not of course mean being a spoil-sport about everything, but safety should always be on the participant's minds.

Also, although I think this does not need to be said, part of the fun is often the risk/uncertainty. Of course, ideally it is the illusion of such, not the reality.

Well, there is plenty that can be said about safety (both in general and in terms of specifics), but in summary, I would not say that the warnings are wrong, and I would ignore them at one's own peril. And certainly if one is not looking specifically for the feel/look of ropes a lot of similar fun can be had with easier/safer methods.

[Mr Underheel]

As the common spiel that probably everyone has read or heard at least once goes, there is no such thing as 100% safety with bondage, no matter how experienced you are or how carefully you do things. You always have to accept some risk.

But there is some risk with almost anything. You can also suffer 'lifelong-injuries' from basically any remotely physical activity. Yet for obvious reasons, nobody says to avoid all such things.

In the context of stories, I will say the biggest thing that is common in stories that really bothers me is 'people being left alone while tied up'. It is actually extremely dangerous to do that, even for a short period of time (especially a gagged person, and even more especially gags with stuffing that can move and obstruct the airway, such as socks or cloth of various kinds), and honestly that is something I would never ever ever *ever* recommend doing in real life.

The stark warnings exist because a lot of people come into this hobby without thinking too much about it, and that can be dangerous. Personally, I would be hesitant to play with anyone who did not seem to take the risks seriously; that does not of course mean being a spoil-sport about everything, but safety should always be on the participant's minds.

Also, although I think this does not need to be said, part of the fun is often the risk/uncertainty. Of course, ideally it is the illusion of such, not the reality.

Well, there is plenty that can be said about safety (both in general and in terms of specifics), but in summary, I would not say that the warnings are wrong, and I would ignore them at one's own peril. And certainly if one is not looking specifically for the feel/look of ropes a lot of similar fun can be had with easier/safer methods.

That’s very well-said. Having a conversation with your partner about experience and expectations; starting slow and easy; avoid doing anything with necks and throats; having scissors or a knife for quick escape; never leaving a bound person alone; simple things like this will minimize the risk

[Arkane]

Once upon a time (20+ years ago), I chatted some times with a bondage model, now retired.
She told me that tight bondage slowly "fucks up" the body causing nerve damage. Many models have to visit the chiropractor, some have lasting damage, and some have to retire.
I know that the famous Lorelei Imboch wrote about her visits to the chiropractor to keep her limbs and back in working condition. Natali Demore (RIP) had shoulder pain she couldn't get rid of. Illustrious Rogue, who used to work for the very strict Futile Struggles website, had to retire due to a neck condition. Probably the list could go on...

So, even without mentioning the risks a gag can generate, bondage has its problems.

[Mr Underheel]

Some of the stories about tied-up friends, relatives, and significant others on here are just wild and it can be hard to believe that they actually happened as written, the "True Stories" label notwithstanding.

What's never discussed, however, is the potential risk involved. And if you google "rope bondage safety," the results aren't exactly flattering; all the bondage knot tutorial websites warn that bondage has the potential to cause severe, lifelong injury and/or nerve damage, and they usually recommend getting in-person instruction from a professional bondage instructor before you ever tie your first knot.

Rope Study:

While we often talk generally about “safety,” we intentionally titled this section “Reducing Risk” to stress the fact that rope bondage is not safe.

We want to repeat that: rope bondage is not safe.

...many forms of rope bondage can be dangerous, and you can be injured, sometimes seriously and with long-lasting, life-impacting consequences.

Reddit:

I agree with previous comments, if you want to explore rope for serious bondage, don't learn online. Don't believe a word from anybody anywhere on the interwebz. Go learn from people that really do this.

Probably one of the more dangerous kinks depending on what you're planning to tie and your knowledge around it. Don't listen to anyone suggesting you learn things online, I have people come to my class all the time that have learned from places like shibari study, the duchy, etc. and they all make very bad mistakes.

There are soooo many risk factors other than strangulation. Nerve damage, loss of blood flow from constricted veins or arteries, falls, knots slipping or sinching, many small bones in the hands, wrists, ankles, feet, and floating ribs that can be damaged. This is a kink that requires a lot of education in order to be practiced safely.

Education? Most of us started tying other people up when we were kids! The way we write our stories, if the sub's hands aren't pulsating blue, we think nothing of the act of tying them.

So what do you all think of this dichotomy between "tie-up-games are fun" and "bondage is dangerous"? Is tying up your sibling/parent/lover something that shouldn't be tried at home, or can TUG's be safe as long as you don't delve into more hardcore forms of tying?

Yes, it has its problems, but so does anything that is done in excess or done stupidly. Here’s a story that I just came across that describes a sensible way of trying it

https://tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=16592

[drawscore]

Probably best to take your cues from TV and movies, but not the porno bondage xxx rated kind. Use common sense and set limits, like "No rope is EVER tied around the neck, and for first timers, avoid crotch ropes." A time limit on how long someone can be tied (unless additional time tied is specifically requested), and if the captive wants to be untied, it's done, no questions asked, and no teasing about it.

The thing is, that this is a game, and games are supposed to be fun. Fun for both the captor and the captive. When it stops being fun, it becomes abuse, and that is never good. Common sense and strict standards can make your bondage experience adventurous and fun. Disregard common sense and standards, and it can turn into a bad experience or even tragedy very quickly.

Drawscore

[Xtc]

There are some very good points here but I would point out that, just because an author claims that a story is true, that is not guaranteed to be so. Even if a tale is substantially based on truth, certain writers are unlikely to pass up the opportunity to let the whole truth get in the way of a good tale.

[Tieup1]

Probably best to take your cues from TV and movies, but not the porno bondage xxx rated kind. Use common sense and set limits, like "No rope is EVER tied around the neck, and for first timers, avoid crotch ropes." A time limit on how long someone can be tied (unless additional time tied is specifically requested), and if the captive wants to be untied, it's done, no questions asked, and no teasing about it.

The thing is, that this is a game, and games are supposed to be fun. Fun for both the captor and the captive. When it stops being fun, it becomes abuse, and that is never good. Common sense and strict standards can make your bondage experience adventurous and fun. Disregard common sense and standards, and it can turn into a bad experience or even tragedy very quickly.

Drawscore

I agree with all of this post. Playing bondage games with your partner, must be as safe as possible. Know your limits, it's best to have a fun time, and enjoy yourselves, than somebody getting hurt. Don' t take it too seriously, it's a game, look after each other.

[silvertape]

You guys have made a lot of good points here. I think we we can all get on board with commonsense rules like no ropes around the neck, have an escape tool, don't leave them alone, untie them when asked. Not sure how many of us know our nerve locations, but it's nice to know we are conscious of safety.

Spending enough time reading sexy TUG stories can warp your sense of reality. They're almost certainly embellished in some way, and many of stories (especially the fictional ones) are so intense as to veer into the non-consensual territory.

[BlissfulMisery]

Well, being a little more specific in terms of escape tools since a few others mentioned them... EMT shears. They are good at cutting through tough material and are hard to cut someone with by accident. In a true emergency situation, especially if one or both people are stressed, rushing, or even panicking, you really do not want to be messing around with knives or regular scissors.

Same reason I would be leery of duct tape gags; they are often difficult to remove quickly, unless they are very flimsy. I mean, being honest, if you are safety minded, ball gags are the way to go, as they can be removed easily and do not carry a risk of shifting and blocking the airway (or no gag, but that falls into the 'just do not do it territory' which is not exactly helpful advice).

Untying when asked... I mean that is safety rule, yes, but honestly it is also just a general trust thing. As much as a lot of stories have elements of non-consent, in reality if anyone does not immediately without hesitation obey a request or agreed upon signal to be untied... Well I would never trust someone like that again.

Spending enough time reading sexy TUG stories can warp your sense of reality. They're almost certainly embellished in some way, and many of stories (especially the fictional ones) are so intense as to veer into the non-consensual territory.

Pretty much. I would not take cues from stories, fictional ones doubly so. Fiction can be a place to explore things that would be too risky to ever attempt in real life. Even if the story is completely real, it does not mean what happened in it was actually safe; people mess these things up all the time, it is just the risk of having something bad happen in an individual circumstance is generally pretty low.

Intensity however does not inherently imply non-consent. Certainly plenty of things that most would consider outrageous or wonder 'why would anyone agree to this' actually happen consensually on a (somewhat) regular basis in real life. But that is veering away from the main topic of the thread.

tight bondage slowly "fucks up" the body causing nerve damage. Many models have to visit the chiropractor, some have lasting damage, and some have to retire.
I know that the famous Lorelei Imboch wrote about her visits to the chiropractor to keep her limbs and back in working condition. Natali Demore (RIP) had shoulder pain she couldn't get rid of. Illustrious Rogue, who used to work for the very strict Futile Struggles website, had to retire due to a neck condition. Probably the list could go on...

Works similarly to any repeated stress injury from many sports/activities, but obviously bondage tends to be worse in that regard, especially considering the common desire to escalate into tougher/tighter ties. Comes back to what I said earlier, there is always inherent risk.

[boundsub]

It dangerous can be if safety precautions aren't taken. There's many to take into consideration and some have mentioned a few above. I have two of my own stories of my own about safety not being taken into account by myself and an inexperienced dom.

Back when I was experimenting with bondage as a teen about a decade about I was pretending some bad ass burglars broke in and tied me up when I was home alone. I headed down to the basement, sat in a chair and wrapped myself in the garden stored down there tying myself to a chair. (RL burglars probably wouldn't even do this) I was practically welded to the seat and it was really tight around my chest. [Sidenote: It's a hot fantasy many kinksters have but very dumb don't do alone - especially when you're inexperienced like I was. Get someone experienced to tie you up. It might not be a "realistic" to an actual home break in, which I don't think anyone would want to experience and def wouldn't think it's hot either since it's a terrifying for the victims but that's for another topic)

During and afterwards I noticed I had a bit trouble breathing. Even after I had gotten out I worried I had done internal damage of some sort to my lungs or chest muscle. Never ever tie anything too tightly around your chest and especially stomach since I learned you can damage internal organs or cause internal bruising after Googling the issue. It's also important to note when we're horny pain tolerance seems to increases a bit if I remember correctly and we don't notice problems until after the fact. I like tight, inescapable bondage where I tied to something personally but that is def dangerous if you or a play partner doesn't know what you're doing. As someone said tight predicament bondage also screw up your body over time and I'm switching it up with lighter bondage session or duct tape mummification laying down on a bed which is less stressful on the body.

I'd like to try suspension bondage one of these days but most of the experienced riggers say subs shouldn't stay supsended for more than 20 - 30 minutes.

Second close call was a few years ago I met up with someone into tickling and bondage. They slapped some neoprene bondage cuffs on me and tied them to the bed legs.... probably a little too tightly. After about 20 minutes my twisting and struggling had tightened one of them around my wrist and nearly caused nerve damage and a twist. It took months to heal and for the numbness to go away. Still into tickling and bondage (really fun btw when done safely and correctly) I recently saw a "tickle challenge" video where a guy probably had the same thing happen to him and he says "ow... my arm." seemingly increasing pain as the session goes on which made me wince for him. That scene should have immediately stopped when he said that and I hope he's alright.

Finally, avoid anyone who says: "It's not bondage till you want out." Huge red flag. Those are absuers IMO.

Don't be put off though by the risks experiement with someone who knows what they're doing, have fun and most importantly play safe.

[leconteur]

Many of the risks posed by rope are also present in tape or manacle bondage. It is worth reading a few books and joining some education/support chat groups before doing a lot on one's own. For Newaza or floor ties, self-education is possible but suspension ties should always be learned firsthand in person with a kinbacku expert.

If there is no suspension, the presence of safety protocols can make it the risk very low. Do not do rope inebriated, always use double column ties that do not overlap or twist to reduce nerve stress in any one spot, use larger guage rope, especially on larger forms (8mm is recommended), and always remain in complete communication about how someone feels. Avoid locations where nerve damage can occur, especially the neck. I would also suggest that scenes/positions should be limited 45 minutes or so, just to reduce the risk.

[ExcessivelyCurious]

This is why I like/prefer the term RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Notably "risk aware" instead of "safe" because even if you're doing everything right there is still some risk. You need to know what the risks are, and do your best to mitigate them.

Yes, any form of bondage has risks. The levels vary wildly depending on what you're doing (for example suspension is potentially very risky). I'm not the best person to educate about this, but there are some good resources out there.

Nerve damage, restricted blood flow and restricted breathing are the most obvious ones, and can easily happen accidentally. Permanent nerve damage is very possible, I know people IRL it's happened to.

A safe cutting tool (ideally medical shears) should definitely be a requirement. Most places that sell bondage gear will sell those too, otherwise you may get them as first aid supplies. You need to be able (and willing) to quickly cut someone out of bondage in an emergency, and you don't want to worry about accidentally hurting the person while doing so. On a related note I agree you shouldn't leave a bound person unattended. You need to keep an eye on them, and they should always have a way to alert you they need help (if they're gagged or otherwise unable to speak, a non-verbal signal can be used)

I agree, definitely don't try to copy stories A lot of stories on here are fictional, or true but embelished. Even if we remove all of those, there are stories where things could have gone wrong and people just got lucky (or didn't get unlucky, I suppose). People rarely post negative stories on here, but they're definitely out there.

[Silver_noro]

No activities are 100% risk free.
Sites are usually so dramatic because they want to display how dangerous can be tiying a person (like every label you can find at home, look how many time manufactors write the words "DANGER OF DEATH" even on batteries).
As every hobbie, with common sense, those risks can be highly reduced.

First of all, the sub is the one in charge; in fact she/he can stop the session at her/his command.
Always play sober; few years ago, two girls died during a session bacause the dom was so intoxicated that he just watched them hanging theirself.
Then my best advise is always play with someone who know what he/she is doing.
My two riggers (bro first then hubby under his tutelage) are the only persons I let to tie me up (bro is a paramedic and mountain rescuer; hubby is a firefighter so ropes are basically an extension of their hands).
ICE, they know what to do and last but not least, they literally know every imaginable knots and how tight I need to be tied up (my record is 6hrs no-stop).

The only time I "panicked" was when my bro blindfolded me and after few minutes I literally lost my spacial awareness and my mind blanked so no stopping signal.
Bro didn't realized my stress till I started fighting for my life my tight ties.
Thanks god, he knows knots that are pretty easy to undone.

Here, you can what we missed. Bro wasn't paying too much attention and I overstimate my limits.

[boundsub]

My two riggers (bro first then hubby under his tutelage) are the only persons I let to tie me up (bro is a paramedic and mountain rescuer; hubby is a firefighter so ropes are basically an extension of their hands).
ICE, they know what to do and last but not least, they literally know every imaginable knots and how tight I need to be tied up (my record is 6hrs no-stop).

Wow! Lucky you! If it's OK to ask, I'm (and others) wondering how did you find experienced safe guys like this. How did your husband and other rigger? It's been very difficult for me personally to say the least even pre-pandemic; let alone finding riggers like this...

[Mask6190]

This a very good and important thread. Thanks to silvertape for starting this, as there is a lot of info there that a lot of us are not aware of, and I would like to take note of this for future stories

I do have a question. What about using soft materials such as scarves and cloth? Can using them make it more, less, or the same level of danger as using rope?

[Silver_noro]

My two riggers (bro first then hubby under his tutelage) are the only persons I let to tie me up (bro is a paramedic and mountain rescuer; hubby is a firefighter so ropes are basically an extension of their hands).
ICE, they know what to do and last but not least, they literally know every imaginable knots and how tight I need to be tied up (my record is 6hrs no-stop).

Wow! Lucky you! If it's OK to ask, I'm (and others) wondering how did you find experienced safe guys like this. How did your husband and other rigger? It's been very difficult for me personally to say the least even pre-pandemic; let alone finding riggers like this...

One is my bigger brother, let's say I know him since birth
I knew my actual hubby thanks to bro because they're buddies and both emergency service worker.
Bro is a paramedic/mountain rescuer, Hubby is firefighter.
They usually work together on big emergency scenario.

My brother is more skilled because of his rock climbing backgroud (and work) but my hubby is learning fast under his tutelage and yes.
For them, safety and prevention are everything!

[uemndlr]

This a very good and important thread. Thanks to silvertape for starting this, as there is a lot of info there that a lot of us are not aware of, and I would like to take note of this for future stories

I do have a question. What about using soft materials such as scarves and cloth? Can using them make it more, less, or the same level of danger as using rope?

I think a scarf could be more dangerous as rope, because the knot might become very tight and almost impossible to open.
Oh, and be sure to use proper rope of hemp or cotton, not the random synthetic rope from your hardware store.

[tiedinbluetights]

This thread is very important and everyone who posted highlighted very good points. I know some of my posts in other threads may be considered far fetched and unsafe by some, so I would like to clarify that, as one poster pointed out, being aware of the risks and being well educated on the techniques is essential.

In my particular case, my wife and I have grown our experience together and have learned to read each-other's non-verbal cues over nearly 30 years of blissful companionship. Being mindfully aware at every moment of your play-partners' state of mind, through having built-up deep and meaningful relationships, is just as essential as risk awareness and practical experience.

[sami200456boyfriend]

If your careful.