Kinky phone pics. Am I wrong?

[TheOldPirate]

Like many people, I have a pic of my significant other as a backdrop on my phone. But like not so many people, my girl is strapped into a straitjacket. I took a new pic recently; she's barelegged, barefooted, sitting on the couch, snug in her straitjacket, giving me the ecstatically happy grin she only shares when she's been tied up for a few hours.

I was with a group of friends (she wasn't there) and had to pull something up on my phone. A few people saw the pic from over my shoulder and were more than a bit nonplussed. My friends are all sci-fi/fantasy people, Star Trek, Dungeons & Dragons, Doctor Who types.

Questions came up; Is she wearing a straitjacket? Why is she wearing a straitjacket? Is that a real straitjacket? Is that photoshopped? Is it for kinky sex?

My answers were simple; Yes, she's wearing a straitjacket. Yes, it's a real straitjacket. She enjoys being strapped in, and I enjoy strapping her in. Yes, I suppose it's kinky, but it's rarely for sex; it's simply something we both enjoy. Perhaps you should try it. And yes, it's photoshopped, to even out her skintone and eliminate artifacts from the straitjacket being so terribly white.

I don't want to advertise our kinky fun. But I don't want to hide it either. My goal is merely to normalize unusual weirdness. Am I wrong for doing this?

I'm not looking to be scolded or admonished, simply to open a conversation.

[Volobond]

As long as she knows and consents to it being your home screen and is aware of the potential that people you both know and maybe that she doesn't know will see it, I don't see much wrong with it. I could get the argument for being wrong if she was somewhat nude, but as it stands, it's like having a woman in lingerie as your home screen. Not wrong, but maybe a little odd to see.

[bbb]

I agree with volobond. When you ask, ‘Is this wrong?’, I think from a legal standpoint, as long as you have the subject’s consent (which you do), the answer is obviously no - you’re in the clear.

That said, I’d think long and hard about having an image like that so readily visible. If I were you I’d think like a good chess player and try to game out likely scenarios on how this could impact you or her if the wrong people saw it.

My personal advice is to change your wallpaper and move this pic to a less accessible photo roll somewhere in your phone. A long time ago (before smartphones), I kept a pic of my then GF (now wife), bound and gagged in a cute white tennis outfit (‘The Tennis Pro & the Kidnapper’ was a favorite bondage RP scenario we’d do; maybe I’ll do a story about it here sometime?) stashed behind my license in my wallet (like your straight jacket pic, this was consensual). I later thought about what the likely outcomes could be if that pic fell into the wrong hands. At the time, we were both professionals in fairly visible jobs, and since she wasn’t blindfolded in the pic, there’d be no mistaking who it was.

These days, any erotic pix I have of my spouse I keep carefully guarded and not accessible via online means. But that’s just me. Do what you’re comfortable with, but always look out for your lady; she trusts you to do the right thing.

[TheOldPirate]

When we first started going out, she was very circumspect about any pics, almost comically so. These days she almost wants someone she knows to see them, as all of her friends and co-workers would simply roll their eyes (her job is very secure).

[Dpsiic]

I agree with @bbb you’re doing nothing wrong. You have your partner’s consent for the pic. But as to who sees it and what they do once they have seen could go badly. What if someone saw it then a few days later bumps into your partner and says “I saw that kinky picture of you tied up the other day. “. Nudge nudge wink wink. How do you think they will react?

[cellofello]

The only think I think you've done wrong is to put the question in this forum rather than TUG Talk - it seems more appropriate for that area of the board. But as long as your partner knows and accepts what you're doing and the possible consequences, you're not violating any trust.

[CrazyCharlotte]

I think we would need to see the pic to answer your questions lol

[Hereiam]

You can do whatever you want, but you’re definitely not changing hearts and minds. Ultimately you’re probably just going to cause problems for you and your gf in the long term.