Knowing your limit as a sub

[Exelsia]

Now, I've never been properly restrained yet so I'm really curious on how rope bunnies/subs decide their limits. For example, if a sub starts feeling a slight pain from the ropes mid-session, should he ask the rigger to stop immediately or should he try to go on? How do you decide when you have reached your limit, and when you can still push yourself without causing permanent/significant damage to yourself? Probably a subjective question but I'd like to get some insights.

[MaxRoper]

Always have a safe word (or safe grunt/noise in the event of effective gagging). Always have EMT shears or the equivalent on hand for emergency release. Your Top should be empathetic and watching you closely, especially if you're new at this, but you shouldn't count on them to know your limits.

Slight pain and discomfort are part of the game but nothing should really hurt (unless that's what you're looking for ). As a relative newbie, taking it easy the first few times while you both learn your limits is a really good idea. Nothing too strict or too hard to remove until you know what you want and what you're capable of withstanding.

Interrupting a session because you're cramping or otherwise in serious pain is going to be a drag but it beats permanent damage.

Take it easy at first, build from there, have fun, and play safe!

[Exelsia]

I totally did not forgot I created this topic!

Thanks [mention]MaxRoper[/mention] .Great pointers there. I guess the best time to decide that a session needs a pause is up to both the sub and the dom. So I have to make use of my first session to test the waters, and check how far I can go and not hesitate to stop if I feel it's beyond my capability. I imagine that limit will grow further once I'm familiar with the all the sensations and discomforts. Thanks! Will keep this in mind.

[Svpmissive]

1. Have a sharp cutting tool near by.
2. Use the red, yellow, blue, green safety word system. Red will stop everything and cut you out. Yellow implies mild/ growing discomfort, blue will be for questions or non stoping concerns. Green is obviously all ok.

[David Han]

. If my circulation on my wrists or ankles is not right, stop.

[Exelsia]

[mention]Svpmissive[/mention] Thanks! I am aware of the red and yellow safeword, but not the blue. Seems useful to make sure the sub is aware of everything that's being done to him/her.

[mention]David Han[/mention] Useful pointer. Basically if the hands start feeling numb, then stop immediately eh. Thank you!

[Exelsia]

The boundaries are set during my games. If they breach it, I give the emergency signal.

I see. Can I know some of the more common boundaries that you set for your sessions?

[Amberbound]

I know for me I've been lucky because I'm really only tied up by my mom, who I know won't do anything I don't want. We established that if I needed out for anything she would let me go, as per an established sign for emergencies, or even if she thought I needed to be cut out but I didn't necessarily want to, which rarely happened but when it did I can usually look back and see I probably needed to be let out. So yeah, it really comes down to trusting the one tying you and knowing yourself as well

[Exelsia]

I know for me I've been lucky because I'm really only tied up by my mom, who I know won't do anything I don't want. We established that if I needed out for anything she would let me go, as per an established sign for emergencies, or even if she thought I needed to be cut out but I didn't necessarily want to, which rarely happened but when it did I can usually look back and see I probably needed to be let out. So yeah, it really comes down to trusting the one tying you and knowing yourself as well

That's good to know. I'm sure your mom is aware of your own limits and capabilities so there's no problem to determine your limit. It gets a tad tricky when it's between two people who have yet to know each other well, so they both need to experiment. And like you said, trust is an important element too.

[Emma]

All of the above suggestions are excellent....I'd like to add never wrap rope around the throat, it is possible for that person to be strangled that way. Don't play bondage games while intoxicated or on drugs. Your judgment is impaired and the person bound may be in dire trouble without either of you knowing. Never leave the bound person alone. A real burglar could show up; there could be a fire, the bound person could have a medical emergency, or find they need to use the bathroom. All common sense suggestions, that sometimes people don't think about.

[Amberbound]

All of the above suggestions are excellent....I'd like to add never wrap rope around the throat, it is possible for that person to be strangled that way. Don't play bondage games while intoxicated or on drugs. Your judgment is impaired and the person bound may be in dire trouble without either of you knowing. Never leave the bound person alone. A real burglar could show up; there could be a fire, the bound person could have a medical emergency, or find they need to use the bathroom. All common sense suggestions, that sometimes people don't think about.

Oh my gosh I could not agree more. I never even thought about the intoxicated part of it (I don't do any of that personally) but that makes perfect sense

[BindPam]

I know for me I've been lucky because I'm really only tied up by my mom, who I know won't do anything I don't want. We established that if I needed out for anything she would let me go, as per an established sign for emergencies, or even if she thought I needed to be cut out but I didn't necessarily want to, which rarely happened but when it did I can usually look back and see I probably needed to be let out. So yeah, it really comes down to trusting the one tying you and knowing yourself as well

That's good to know. I'm sure your mom is aware of your own limits and capabilities so there's no problem to determine your limit. It gets a tad tricky when it's between two people who have yet to know each other well, so they both need to experiment. And like you said, trust is an important element too.

Exelsia has a great point here, Amberbound...I've been tied up by boyfriends and people I wasn't romantically involved with. It's sometimes harder for someone you're romantically involved with to remember safety in a passionate moment...since there aren't passionate moments with those other people. So, you really need to know that they know to respect your limits.