Talking about BDSM and fetishes with friends

[SolidSnickerdoodle]

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[FelixSH]

Agreed, whenever I mention that I enjoy bondage people either didn't care much or were interested in details (mainly the former, though). I don't think anyone ever judged me for it. I mean, it probably shouldn't be the first thing you tell a stranger, but I expect friends not to have a problem with this.

Also, good to know you are still around.

[SolidSnickerdoodle]

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[Exelsia]

I'm glad your friends are open-minded enough to make a huge deal about your fetishes.

Personally I've thought about the secrecy of my bondage fetish too. I've casually mentioned that I'm into BDSM to my two best friends and they seem to be nonchalant about it for the most part (probably because they assumed I'm doing it with girls so it's suddenly okay? Yes they're a bit homophobic haha). Funny enough, I had no problem telling the people I talk to on Grindr and other dating apps about it because I feel like that information has little to no value to strangers. Hence, no weight or repercussions... I think.

[Handsome Scoundrel]

Thanks for sharing.

I've found this to be the case; if you take pride in your own individuality and share it with others, they will become empowered to be themselves to.

Much of today's interpersonal problems would be more solvable if people felt more comfortable being themselves. Childhood would have been a breeze. Looking back, the worst bullies I knew were very insecure. Who knows how its\ would have been if they had been given permission to feel alright with who they were,

[Emma]

My experience is that hardly anyone has a problem with the idea of my husband liking to have me tied up; but we know more than a couple who think it's strange that I like to be tied up. So I see a double standard.

[Deleted User 2238]

It’s definitely hard to bring it up with some people. I’ve only met about 2 people that enjoy discussing it with me, but I try not to talk too much bc I don’t want to be overbearing or come across as creepy.

[damsel]

I haven't really had any problems with it, though some people think it's degrading to women.

I disagree

[Chloe Badelaine]

[DallasNotAustin]

I haven't really had any problems with it, though some people think it's degrading to women.

That's why I can't reveal it to anyone in my family. Friends are fine, but since I come from a matriarchy...

I just laugh in both hidden and sub though

[Amm1973es]

The recent films of 50 shades of gray has led many people to discover these concerns either within the bdsm environment or in ours that although it may seem like it is a bit different, in fact in the bdsm collective of my region they defined a large part of those people who approached bdsm as pseudo-masters by not fitting within the framework of a dominant according to their criteria (obviously there would always be someone who approached by the fashion of being master and would not have these concerns at all). It should also be noted that while in the first gray film if he was a dominant according to the concept of bdsm, that was changing until the last where they are more a marriage that plays slavery games, rather than being properly master / submissive according to the classic concept of the bdsm environment.
There is no doubt that the same films have favored being able to bring this issue up without fear of being seen as a weirdo if that friend is in someone you really trust, but not having enough confidence with that friend is better to keep that information for the exclusive websites of those topics.

[Amm1973es]

I haven't really had any problems with it, though some people think it's degrading to women.

I disagree

I agree with you, the unfortunate thing is that lately several groups try to implement these ideas with more or less success in different countries and establish what they think is right for society and discriminating against other groups that we are harmed.

[Deleted User 5143]

It’s not that I fear judgement all that much it’s just awkward for me, and I find for a lot of people. For me my fetishes are a private matter that really are nobody else’s business other than who I choose to tell.

But I can especially sympathize with this sentiment nowadays, since I moved to Korea and became an English teacher. I’ve only recently found a person that I can talk to about this sort of thing, and I’m sure we all need at least one or two people offline that we can talk to about this sort of thing. It does take a load off the mind for someone to know.

[kevweasley]

Only very few knows about my bondage interest (less than 5). I want to keep it that way. If they knew they would think I'm a weirdo lol.

[Skizzo]

I've always thought of it this way - there was a time before any of us knew how to clear an internet history. Someone, at some point knows what you're up to haha. I'll be open if it comes up in conversation, and more so if it was on a dating app or somthing because you kind of have that anonymity factor.

Do the things you want to do and be comfortable with them, then the people who are meant to be there will be there, and those who aren't won't.

[TightsBound]

I’m not sure why, but I have a hard time talking about my fetishes in person, even with people who already know them and practice them with me. And among other friends, conversations occasionally shift in that direction, usually with the sentiment being that people who are into things like feet are freaks. It’s around this point that my anxiety skyrockets and I fear that I might get found out.