I need help please!

[Deleted User 5179]

Hello everyyone!

I have been reading this site since the last one was up, but never created an account since I never had a story of my own to tell. Now that I finally do I can't post it. At least yet.
Long story short me and some of my friends tied up my brother during a sleepover. He is a year older than me and he doesn't forgive me. I could see that he was not enjoying very much and struggling a lot, but I thought he would ge over it at some point. He doesn't talk to me anymore and barely looks at me. I can see he feels embarassed everytime he does. I already tried to say sorry but he doesn't want to hear. This was a month ago!!!

I need help! What can I do to make things right?

[drawscore]

Some people are in to TUGs; others are not. Perhaps joking about being tied up, or about tying him up, prior to actually doing it, might have given you some insight into his feelings. But that's in the past, and hindsight is always 20/20.

In the here and now, the first thing would be an apology. Then, offhandedly, say something like "If it'll make you feel any better, you can tie me up. Gag me, too, if you want, and you can bring a friend, and let him have a turn, too!"

You didn't specify ages, so I'm guessing tweens, to young or mid-teens. And, as you are the younger, he may be a little miffed, not so much about being tied up, but because his little brother got over on him, and it was something of an embarrassment for him, especially in front of friends.

Drawscore

[Deleted User 5179]

I am a girl and I am 16 years old. I thought you could see that on my profile.

Anyway he is not listening to my apologies. I already said that he could tie me and my friends up to make him feel better. He said that will not change what happened. That it would be me and my friends letting him do it out of pittty. His pride really took a hit.

[Deleted User 5168]

Give him time, and space. He's a young man, he is trying to build up an image for himself. Teens associate a lot about their value with how their peers and society react to them, and men in particular also take pride in how they can manage and conduct themselves. You would probably not have minded what happened to your brother, but he didn't interpret it that way.
Basically, let him cool down on his own. If you try to solve this, it will just feel to him like he is not the one in control again, like he was unable to fix something himself. I am truly sorry that this happened, but do your best to bide your time, and let him do his own thing. He is young, and still growing. His confidence will come back, but it will be in his time, and on his terms. Wish there was a simpler solution.
If you need to talk, lemme know. I have a good amount of experience with tying folks, sometimes when it goes south, and a ton of experience mentoring young guys like your brother. Just be patient; good luck.

[Amm1973es]

Obviously that type of games without knowing for sure if the other person likes to assume the role of tied or passive role may not be the best of the ideas, nor do you detail well if on your part what type of role you like to assume in the games and you may not be comfortable proposing to tie you in compensation for your lack.
There may be several causes to show that rejection towards you, the first one being your older brother has bothered you and the second who may not fully understand your tastes and is uncomfortable knowing them, you may not even see them correct to their eyes and don't know how to deal with you now that he knows that part of you.
In the end you are brothers and you will end up talking again sooner or later, when you do you should explain your tastes and make him see that it is not a bad thing if it is that he feels certain objections to the tugs.

[Deleted User 5179]

Give him time, and space. He's a young man, he is trying to build up an image for himself. Teens associate a lot about their value with how their peers and society react to them, and men in particular also take pride in how they can manage and conduct themselves. You would probably not have minded what happened to your brother, but he didn't interpret it that way.
Basically, let him cool down on his own. If you try to solve this, it will just feel to him like he is not the one in control again, like he was unable to fix something himself. I am truly sorry that this happened, but do your best to bide your time, and let him do his own thing. He is young, and still growing. His confidence will come back, but it will be in his time, and on his terms. Wish there was a simpler solution.
If you need to talk, lemme know. I have a good amount of experience with tying folks, sometimes when it goes south, and a ton of experience mentoring young guys like your brother. Just be patient; good luck.

I get what you say about control. Do you really think he will ever get over this?

[Deleted User 5179]

Some people are in to TUGs; others are not. Perhaps joking about being tied up, or about tying him up, prior to actually doing it, might have given you some insight into his feelings. But that's in the past, and hindsight is always 20/20.

In the here and now, the first thing would be an apology. Then, offhandedly, say something like "If it'll make you feel any better, you can tie me up. Gag me, too, if you want, and you can bring a friend, and let him have a turn, too!"

You didn't specify ages, so I'm guessing tweens, to young or mid-teens. And, as you are the younger, he may be a little miffed, not so much about being tied up, but because his little brother got over on him, and it was something of an embarrassment for him, especially in front of friends.

Drawscore

I am a girl and I am 16 years old. I thought you could see that on my profile.

Anyway he is not listening to my apologies. I already said that he could tie me and my friends up to make him feel better. He said that will not change what happened. That it would be me and my friends letting him do it out of pittty. His pride really took a hit.

[Deleted User 5179]

Obviously that type of games without knowing for sure if the other person likes to assume the role of tied or passive role may not be the best of the ideas, nor do you detail well if on your part what type of role you like to assume in the games and you may not be comfortable proposing to tie you in compensation for your lack.
There may be several causes to show that rejection towards you, the first one being your older brother has bothered you and the second who may not fully understand your tastes and is uncomfortable knowing them, you may not even see them correct to their eyes and don't know how to deal with you now that he knows that part of you.
In the end you are brothers and you will end up talking again sooner or later, when you do you should explain your tastes and make him see that it is not a bad thing if it is that he feels certain objections to the tugs.

I am a girl!
Also I don't mind if he wants to tie me up to feel better. But he says that will not help him.

[Amm1973es]

Well, you just have to wait for time to allow you to accept your apologies, after all it is your brother and you will have to do it sooner or later.
From what you say he tells you, it seems that he is only dominant and he is not at all attracted to the idea of ​​putting himself on the side of the passive part. If it really is, on some occasion you are alone you can force a situation so that he can feel that he binds you without looking like it is an offer from you and perhaps that facilitates a beginning of reconciliation by feeling that he partly makes you pay for what you did
On this occasion you were lucky to be your brother, before doing something similar with a friend again, make sure he really likes to tie or be tied. Your brother no longer believes that he puts you in a compromise explaining it to your parents, but if you tried it with a friend and if he might not like it, he would tell his parents and these to yours and depending on the ability to understand of your parents you could see yourself in a difficult situation.

[Justaguy]

Obviously that type of games without knowing for sure if the other person likes to assume the role of tied or passive role may not be the best of the ideas, nor do you detail well if on your part what type of role you like to assume in the games and you may not be comfortable proposing to tie you in compensation for your lack.
There may be several causes to show that rejection towards you, the first one being your older brother has bothered you and the second who may not fully understand your tastes and is uncomfortable knowing them, you may not even see them correct to their eyes and don't know how to deal with you now that he knows that part of you.
In the end you are brothers and you will end up talking again sooner or later, when you do you should explain your tastes and make him see that it is not a bad thing if it is that he feels certain objections to the tugs.

I am a girl!
Also I don't mind if he wants to tie me up to feel better. But he says that will not help him.

Is being tied up something you had discussed before hand? Did you know if it was something he was curious about, or vice versa? If it never came up before, he is probably really embarrassed about being overpowered by his little sister and her friends, especially if it’s gotten around school. If you actually want him to tie you up, well I’d say you need to just give him space for a little bit. He will get over it, and when he does maybe he’ll be more game for “revenge.”

But being tied up is not for everyone, and can make people uncomfortable. You’re young and people play these games, not everyone will respond to it positively. It sounds like you really tied him up and he couldn’t get out, and that was probably scary and humiliating to him.

[damsel]

I bet he'll start talking to you again sooner than you think; if he's still being distant after a month or so then you can try and talk to him about it. Tell him it was just a joke, you were just goofing off, and that you're sorry.

A couple of people here said you should offer to let him tie you up, which I think is a mistake. You don't know if part of his being mad is that he was tied up by his sister. Not a girlfriend, but his sister. He could have had an "Eeeeeuuu" reaction. Maybe, maybe not. Why risk it? Just give him a little more time, then just apologize if the silent treatment goes on for a month or so.

[Beetlebailey13]

I agree with everyone on this matter. Give your time and space. I do believe he will eventually come around. He pride was really hurt. And in front of your friends. I don't think help his pride either

[Driverman]

It goes against every fiber of my being to say something that means a girl is not going to get tied up, but I agree with what damsel said above in that offering to let him tie you up is not a good idea.

He is clearly not comfortable with bondage. So re-introducing it to him seems like it would be counter productive to putting the incident behind you. In fact, I would not even bring it up if I were you. Wait until you have a moment alone with him and just make casual conversation. Don't force it. But I would avoid bringing up the very thing that caused this problem in the first place. I don't think there is a need to "talk out what happened," moving on and getting beyond it is what you both need.

[Deleted User 5179]

I bet he'll start talking to you again sooner than you think; if he's still being distant after a month or so then you can try and talk to him about it. Tell him it was just a joke, you were just goofing off, and that you're sorry.

A couple of people here said you should offer to let him tie you up, which I think is a mistake. You don't know if part of his being mad is that he was tied up by his sister. Not a girlfriend, but his sister. He could have had an "Eeeeeuuu" reaction. Maybe, maybe not. Why risk it? Just give him a little more time, then just apologize if the silent treatment goes on for a month or so.

I wish he would. So far nothing. I already tried to talk to him, he doesn't listen.
I just think that him getting revenge might make us even and get him to be my brother again.

[Deleted User 5179]

It goes against every fiber of my being to say something that means a girl is not going to get tied up, but I agree with what damsel said above in that offering to let him tie you up is not a good idea.

He is clearly not comfortable with bondage. So re-introducing it to him seems like it would be counter productive to putting the incident behind you. In fact, I would not even bring it up if I were you. Wait until you have a moment alone with him and just make casual conversation. Don't force it. But I would avoid bringing up the very thing that caused this problem in the first place. I don't think there is a need to "talk out what happened," moving on and getting beyond it is what you both need.

Oh I do not intente to bring it up to him. I am waiting until he as friends over and I will have another sleepover the same day. Then I will try to tie up one of his friends, just me my friends will not know about this. Alone I will fail for sure and then his own friends will probably tell him to tie us up. They will love the idea of tying up some girls. I am sure he will go for it as a change to get us back! If my friends know they will not accept it. They might get angry with me after, but they will forgive me. I prefer to have my bro back.

[Deleted User 5179]

Is being tied up something you had discussed before hand? Did you know if it was something he was curious about, or vice versa? If it never came up before, he is probably really embarrassed about being overpowered by his little sister and her friends, especially if it’s gotten around school. If you actually want him to tie you up, well I’d say you need to just give him space for a little bit. He will get over it, and when he does maybe he’ll be more game for “revenge.”

But being tied up is not for everyone, and can make people uncomfortable. You’re young and people play these games, not everyone will respond to it positively. It sounds like you really tied him up and he couldn’t get out, and that was probably scary and humiliating to him.
[/quote]


He will not get over it. It's been too long and he still doens't even lookt at me.
I have a plan to make him get revenge I just have to wait for an opportunity. I explained the plan here to Driverman.

[Justaguy]

Is being tied up something you had discussed before hand? Did you know if it was something he was curious about, or vice versa? If it never came up before, he is probably really embarrassed about being overpowered by his little sister and her friends, especially if it’s gotten around school. If you actually want him to tie you up, well I’d say you need to just give him space for a little bit. He will get over it, and when he does maybe he’ll be more game for “revenge.”

But being tied up is not for everyone, and can make people uncomfortable. You’re young and people play these games, not everyone will respond to it positively. It sounds like you really tied him up and he couldn’t get out, and that was probably scary and humiliating to him.

He will not get over it. It's been too long and he still doens't even lookt at me.
I have a plan to make him get revenge I just have to wait for an opportunity. I explained the plan here to Driverman.
[/quote]

I’d be careful with that plan. It doesn’t sound like it will make him any less angry. If you want someone to tie you up just ask one of your friends. Your brother doesn’t seem to have an interest and I really think you need to just drop the whole thing for him to be able to forget about it.

[Gagfan]

He will not get over it. It's been too long and he still doens't even lookt at me.
I have a plan to make him get revenge I just have to wait for an opportunity. I explained the plan here to Driverman.

Jesus I really hope this is some poor written fiction otherwise youre a bit thick. He isnt interested in the bondage and now your brilliant plan to repair your relationship is to try and manipulate him into participating in another bondage scenario and this time you plan on screwing over your friends and making them participate in a scenario THEY might not enjoy insuring now even more people will be angry at you. You've clearly got an obsession with bondage to the point you are firebombing personal relationships to get your kicks (assuming an ounce of this is true), you need to just drop it until you are mature enough to safely seek out willing play partners.

[Justaguy]

He will not get over it. It's been too long and he still doens't even lookt at me.
I have a plan to make him get revenge I just have to wait for an opportunity. I explained the plan here to Driverman.

Jesus I really hope this is some poor written fiction otherwise youre a bit thick. He isnt interested in the bondage and now your brilliant plan to repair your relationship is to try and manipulate him into participating in another bondage scenario and this time you plan on screwing over your friends and making them participate in a scenario THEY might not enjoy insuring now even more people will be angry at you. You've clearly got an obsession with bondage to the point you are firebombing personal relationships to get your kicks (assuming an ounce of this is true), you need to just drop it until you are mature enough to safely seek out willing play partners.

This is exactly right. OP, please heed this advice. How will everyone involved here feel if they ever find out this is a fetish of some sort? You need to just let it go. Your brother will be willing to talk about it/forgive whenever he is ready. If you just stop now your relationship can be healed. It will just require patience.

[Gagfan]

He will not get over it. It's been too long and he still doens't even lookt at me.
I have a plan to make him get revenge I just have to wait for an opportunity. I explained the plan here to Driverman.

Jesus I really hope this is some poor written fiction otherwise youre a bit thick. He isnt interested in the bondage and now your brilliant plan to repair your relationship is to try and manipulate him into participating in another bondage scenario and this time you plan on screwing over your friends and making them participate in a scenario THEY might not enjoy insuring now even more people will be angry at you. You've clearly got an obsession with bondage to the point you are firebombing personal relationships to get your kicks (assuming an ounce of this is true), you need to just drop it until you are mature enough to safely seek out willing play partners.

This is exactly right. OP, please heed this advice. How will everyone involved here feel if they ever find out this is a fetish of some sort? You need to just let it go. Your brother will be willing to talk about it/forgive whenever he is ready. If you just stop now your relationship can be healed. It will just require patience.

i really do hope the whole thing is fictional. Otherwise OP is someone who has read too much fiction where people get unwillingly tied up and discover secretly how much they love it and thereby forgotten consent is hugely important with this or any other fetish. You would think an incident where nonconsensual bondage literally caused someone to be traumatized would have driven that point home, which is why I am hopeful this is all made up otherwise the level of ignorance is appalling

[Driverman]

I don't know if you misinterpreted what I suggested, OP, but I fully agree with everyone here. Bringing anything bondage related back to his attention is a terrible mistake. He doesn't want anything to do with it. If this is real, and not a fiction as the others have suggested, and you are serious about getting your brother back, do not try to give him some sort of revenge through some convoluted plot involving your and his friends. This is a horrible idea and will just drive a further wedge between you.

So I hope the others are right, that you are making this up and getting a kick out of it. Nothing wrong with that, just please do not go through with that plan. He doesn't need revenge, he needs to have the incident put behind him.

[Deleted User 5179]

This is exactly right. OP, please heed this advice. How will everyone involved here feel if they ever find out this is a fetish of some sort? You need to just let it go. Your brother will be willing to talk about it/forgive whenever he is ready. If you just stop now your relationship can be healed. It will just require patience.

I will listen to you guys. Probably the best thing to do.
Thank you

[Deleted User 5179]

I don't know if you misinterpreted what I suggested, OP, but I fully agree with everyone here. Bringing anything bondage related back to his attention is a terrible mistake. He doesn't want anything to do with it. If this is real, and not a fiction as the others have suggested, and you are serious about getting your brother back, do not try to give him some sort of revenge through some convoluted plot involving your and his friends. This is a horrible idea and will just drive a further wedge between you.

So I hope the others are right, that you are making this up and getting a kick out of it. Nothing wrong with that, just please do not go through with that plan. He doesn't need revenge, he needs to have the incident put behind him.

I will go with what everyone is suggesting. I hope he heals eventually.

[Deleted User 5179]

i really do hope the whole thing is fictional. Otherwise OP is someone who has read too much fiction where people get unwillingly tied up and discover secretly how much they love it and thereby forgotten consent is hugely important with this or any other fetish. You would think an incident where nonconsensual bondage literally caused someone to be traumatized would have driven that point home, which is why I am hopeful this is all made up otherwise the level of ignorance is appalling
[/quote]

No need to insult. Don't worry I won't go through with the plan. I just hope time will make things better.

[Gagfan]

Excellent. I think you will get a much happier result with patience here. Good luck!