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Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2020 2:39 pm
by AnonymousDIDLover
Hi there!

I've mostly been a lurker on this site for a while, but I was wondering whether anyone else has this problem.

I like seeing girls tied up a lot, fictional or otherwise. I search for new pictures almost every day, I commission art of my favourite characters on deviantart, I read the stories on this site and think "I'd love to be tied up like that". But despite all that, I can't enjoy self bondage in the slightest.

Every month or two I'll get an urge to do some self bondage and tie myself up. I usually go and buy some tape and find a good moment when I'm alone to use it. I usually spend a long time taping myself up as tight as possible, in anticipation of being fully bound. Then I finally finish, roll around a couple of times, and immediately get bored and start untying myself.

I don't understand why. I get out and then start looking at images of girls bound online much less tighter than I do to myself and think "I'd love to be tied up like that" again. But whenever I actually do tie myself up, I just can't enjoy it at all, no matter how tight I make it. Is it because I usually completely fail at binding my arms making escape fairly easy? Do the fictional expectations I set mean its never good enough? I'm trying to figure out why.

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2020 2:47 pm
by Solarbeast
I’ve had that urge and then lack of desire as well. What I usually do is either commit to staying in it for longer, or don’t do the elaborate self-bondage ties and just stick with the simple ones. Another idea would be to change up the way your tied and also the location if you can. When I stuck with the simpler ones, I wouldn’t feel as bad when in an instant I wanted out. Hopefully this helps in some way, and welcome to the board.

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2020 3:11 pm
by captured_prize
As exciting as bondage can be, there can be stretches of time where it is boring. When I start getting bored, I try to relax my body and let my mind drift away. That seems to alleviate it.

One thing I do whenever I'm doing a self bondage session to make things interesting is what I call the "half-hour rule." The rule is once I'm in self bondage, I do not allow myself out of whatever position I'm in for half an hour. It takes a lot of mental disipline to do this but it is worth it. Doing this forces me to accept my situation and kind of gives me the feeling that I'm being held against my will. Once the half hour is up, you can let yourself out or change your bondage/position. If I do another position or situation, I do not require myself to be in that position for half an hour. That only applies to the first position. A lot of times I end up getting into my first bondage position so much that I keep going past the half hour.

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2020 11:14 pm
by AnonymousDIDLover
Thanks for the tips! I appreciate it!

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2020 6:14 am
by captured_prize
@AnonymousDIDLover I'm curious, do you do any kind of roleplay or have any kind of context as to why you're tied up when you do self bondage? That can help spice things up for you. When I do self bondage, I usually like to pretend that I've been kidnapped. It definitely adds an extra element of excitement to the session.

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2020 6:55 am
by wolfman
Given what you are saying, I would suggest using handcuffs for your wrists and freezing the keys inside either an ice cube or a cup of water.

That way, you cannot free yourself until the key itself has been freed

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2020 8:47 am
by illest
I get the urge every now and then, but getting older not nearly as much as I used to. I'll occasionally see artwork or read a story that's so provocative it brings me back though. I feel like I'm turned on more by predicaments than anything lately. At the same time I'm careful not to keep escalating to the point where I try dangerous stuff. Most of my sessions are self-hogties, though I will admit to experimenting with half-suspensions a couple of times. I've found myself really getting into drawing. Mainly to have a release now for my urges more than anything, especially for the more complicated fantasies.

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 8:34 am
by slackywacky
There can be times when I do three self bondages a week or none for a few weeks. Most fo them are the same tie, sitting on my chair, tightly tied, with leather cuffs as my wrist bondage. It feels pretty good, but there are times when I am out in 15 minutes. For some reason I also get bored. It is the same thing over and over. I could switch to cuffs, but the danger is that if I need out before the ice melts (or whatever other method I use), I couldn't. That's why I use the leather cuffs. With a little effort I can undo them.

There are times it is easier to sit for a longer period. For example when my partner is out and comes home late. I might sit on my chair and have to wait until she gets home before I get out. I can't use cuffs in those situations, in case something would happen to her, but the leather cuffs work. because i have a goal, it is easier to sit there for a longer period.

Sometimes I count cars passing the house. After 20 cars I am allowed out. This can be fun with earplugs in, as I miss a lot of cars, so I sit there a lot longer.

Bottom line for me is that if something is going to happen, something to look forward too while being tied up, it makes it easier to enjoy the bondage.

Re: Can't Enjoy Self Bondage At All

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:35 pm
by BandG
I often tie myself up with a chance of being discovered...makes it more exciting! So for example I'll tie myself up in the hallway of my flat where my neighbour could walk past my door! You can't see in very clearly but would probably see someone struggling about if you looked close enough!

The closest I came to being discovered was a few years ago when i stayed at the flat of a girl i was dating. She lived with 4 other girls, all nurses so had different shifts. One time my girlfriend had to leave for work early so I slept in at her flat. When she had gone I used her pantyhose to tie myself up in a hogtie on her bed and I gagged myself with her panties.

I struggled about a bit and thought no one else was in the flats but then I heard the girl who had the bedroom next door open her door. I froze and then heard a knock on the door of my girlfriend's room.

I knew the door wouldn't be locked so I just stayed still and silent. The flatmate said 'Charlotte are you in?' (My girlfriend's name) then after a few seconds I heard her walk away.

If she had decided to walk in anyway she'd have seen me hogtied and gagged on the bed.

Part of me wonders if I should have just called out a muffled cry - the room mate was gorgeous. But then at the time I was horrified of being discovered like that and would have to explain to her and my girlfriend at the time which would have been awkward.