Stories of Tie Up Games

I'm curious to hear what sort of things turn you folks off.

For me, its people that don't "turn off" their submissive or dominant tendancies.

Here's a recent example. I was chatting with someone on another site to hookup. I wanted to sub. Thing is, he started getting demanding with me. Now, I love being talked down to in the bedroom. Its erotic to be controlled in that environment.
But he was talking down to me in an out of bedroom context. Demanding that I change shirts and telling me what to eat for lunch. I hadn't asked his opinion. And this wasn't for our sesh we were planning. He started to get degrading with me when I said no. So I berated him.

Anyone else got similar feelings? Behavior you love in the bedroom, but you'd probably punch on someone for doing in the street?

The closest I can come to (and it's not really what you were asking, but it's related) is when a Dom, or maybe I should say wannabe Dom, finds out I'm submissive and decides he can treat me as *his* sub.

A submissive doesn't "sub" for every Dom/would-be Dom on the planet. She subs to *her* Dom.

I have a Dom/boyfriend. Talking to me like I'm your sub is as offensive as talking to me as if I was your girlfriend. It's really annoying (and insulting) when you do it even after you're told I'm taken.

This really doesn't happen that often. But, I'm more open about my life these days, and, once in awhile, someone who doesn't understand basic manners and respect, let alone domination/submission, thinks it's okay to act like they have authority over me.

It's not and they don't.

For me, a bondage victim who wants everything comfortable, not to tight, and please, no strain and nothing which could ache, is a total turnoff

BindPam wrote: ↑4 years ago The closest I can come to (and it's not really what you were asking, but it's related) is when a Dom, or maybe I should say wannabe Dom, finds out I'm submissive and decides he can treat me as *his* sub.

That is EXACTLY what I'm talking about! Like, what right do these fools think they have to us? We're submissive. That does NOT make us b*tches!

I really don't like when the dom is so much incisive when comanding someone, or treating him like was his trash, or object, or without his consent. A dom should always take care of his sub and treat him with respect, making sure that his expectations about be bound and gagged be realized with safety and inside of the limits boundaries agreed between both. For me, the sub and the dom should be good friends that likes to play bondage together and feel comfortable with each other.

It's also a huge turn on to me when the one being tied up and gagged cries. For me, bondage must be something fun that both the dom and sub should enjoy every moment.

Other fetishes that are really out of my comfort zone is also a huge down like spanking, wax, blood, watersports, fart and among other discusting things that I really don't wanna mention.

Those are the things I can remember now, if there is more, I will be back.

Fesselfan wrote: ↑4 years ago For me, a bondage victim who wants everything comfortable, not to tight, and please, no strain and nothing which could ache, is a total turnoff

I wish we could all have our elbows tied touching behind our backs, be hogtied as tight as a bowstring and have unlimited endurance, life tells us otherwise. I respect your point of view and I am not attacking it, I prefer it too that a sub can stand (a little) discomfort, it is what I like when I am playing the sub, but there will be people out there who can't handle it and still want to be tied and be a sub. I have not been in that position, my play partners have had the good fortune of being capable of taking and dishing out some strict restraints, but I probably would be able to set aside my point of view to provide a pleasurable session to the sub, despite the limitations he/she might have.

Sloppy rope work (or for that matter any sloppy applied restraints) is a turn off for me. It does not matter who applied it to whom, even a sub who wants it comfortable can still be tied neatly and snug. I rather see 10 wraps around a wrist than 1, I rather see legs tied at ankles and knees with multiple wraps instead of a single strand around the ankles. Bondage is as much visual as physical.

This is an interesting topic because I never fully thought about this idea before seeing this post. My overall number 1 turnoff would be the example Redman gave. Being a sub, I would definitely love to be talked down to and humiliated in the bedroom, but don't ever do that to me outside of the bedroom or to anyone else. The occasional tease before getting to the bedroom is fine, but being talked down to outside of the bedroom reminds me of both past retail jobs and my current retail job, where it is hard to keep my calm when even "higher level" co-workers do that to me and my co-workers who work with me in my department. You never know what someone has gone through to get to where they are now. There are other things in bondage I can't do due to medical reasons, and personal preferences so those would be turnoffs in more ways than 1.

This is a really interesting topic and I would say that my answer is probably quite similar to everyone elses in some ways - for me, the most important thing is that everyone involved is enjoying the experience, so if someone doesn't treat their sub right either in or out of the bedroom, that's a big turn off.

Similarly, I think if either person involved is just clearly not enjoying it - either due to distress in more serious cases, or just isn't enthusiastic enough about it - then that's also quite a turn off for me.

Rtj65 wrote: ↑4 years ago This is a really interesting topic and I would say that my answer is probably quite similar to everyone elses in some ways - for me, the most important thing is that everyone involved is enjoying the experience, so if someone doesn't treat their sub right either in or out of the bedroom, that's a big turn off.

Similarly, I think if either person involved is just clearly not enjoying it - either due to distress in more serious cases, or just isn't enthusiastic enough about it - then that's also quite a turn off for me.

This.

Doms should and understand this.

BindPam wrote: ↑4 years ago The closest I can come to (and it's not really what you were asking, but it's related) is when a Dom, or maybe I should say wannabe Dom, finds out I'm submissive and decides he can treat me as *his* sub.

A submissive doesn't "sub" for every Dom/would-be Dom on the planet. She subs to *her* Dom.

I have a Dom/boyfriend. Talking to me like I'm your sub is as offensive as talking to me as if I was your girlfriend. It's really annoying (and insulting) when you do it even after you're told I'm taken.

This really doesn't happen that often. But, I'm more open about my life these days, and, once in awhile, someone who doesn't understand basic manners and respect, let alone domination/submission, thinks it's okay to act like they have authority over me.

It's not and they don't.

As a Dom myself, I don’t think there’s anything more to be said Pam, you’ve expressed how it should be to perfection, for while you may well be a *sub*, you are such only to the person you wish to be, and knowing how it is for my sub, who like yourself has had a few if not many who assume she simply *subs* to anyone it’s a huge put off for her, not to mention rather rude and lacking understanding

slackywacky wrote: ↑4 years ago
[...]
, but there will be people out there who can't handle it and still want to be tied and be a sub.
[...]

Which is fine for me. However, even being the caring person I am, I am not the bondage charity. This is simply not my kink, to make it as harmless and comfortable as possible. So I am the wrong partner for such a person.

Fesselfan wrote: ↑4 years ago Which is fine for me. However, even being the caring person I am, I am not the bondage charity. This is simply not my kink, to make it as harmless and comfortable as possible. So I am the wrong partner for such a person.

And the same for me, I have certain expectations, not meeting those will take some or all of the joy away. But I suspect, just as there are subs who want it comfortable, there might be doms who don't mind that scenario. Just not you and me.

Don't have much irl experience, but on here I'd say "people who assume I want/will do exactly what they want/would do."

Probably why I've soured on the RP thing. I know I'm relatively vanilla and thus a bit boring to some people (sorry ) but maybe we should discuss stuff before you just launch into something.

Fesselfan wrote: ↑4 years ago For me, a bondage victim who wants everything comfortable, not to tight, and please, no strain and nothing which could ache, is a total turnoff

I can see how this could be taken the wrong way. Some people really can't be tied the way a top wants to tie them and they should respect that. I know where you're coming from but as a Top I find it my responsibility to cater to the bottoms requests as well as I can because they are putting themselves in a vunerable position and one where they won't be making requests for awhile (unless there's an emergency need for it).

My biggest turnoff is the insistence of mixing bondage with sex. That's not how I roll and im not going to change my mind midscene for you.

For me, it's when a girl goes along with being tied up, (Joy!) but doesn't give it a fair shot.

I guess that doesn't make sense. What I'm trying to get it, is after she's tied, she doesn't struggle unless asked, and doesn't try to get anything out of it, and if you get physical with her, instead of trying to enjoy it, just points out, over and over, the obvious...she can't touch you back, because she's tied.

I hope that makes sense.

I think a turnoff for me! Would be when sub trys to change up things midscene! Or just say midscene. I tired of being submissive. I want to be Dominant. Or don't communicate what they want. Or say can we do another scene. And leave you hanging for days on in

Beetlebailey13 wrote: ↑4 years ago I think a turnoff for me! Would be when sub trys to change up things midscene! Or just say midscene. I tired of being submissive. I want to be Dominant. Or don't communicate what they want. Or say can we do another scene. And leave you hanging for days on in

This! I've had RP partners that will want to change the scene just when it starts getting good. Or a partner that agrees to a scene, then says "i like it. But lets make it in a different place, with different outfits, and can you play this character instead of the one you created?"
At that point, I'm like, "why'd you let me set the scene in the first place then?"
And the WORST thing in an RP is writing for the other character. Nothing loses my interest faster than a partner that writes my character's dialogue for me!
*rage quit*

@Redman This isn't right and I feel your pain my friend! Or a sub roleplayer. Who wants to do just constantly on scene. And when like you say. Scene starts getting good. They want to stop. Or change game mid scene.

Oh its the worst!

Yes Sir

McMurdoPI wrote: ↑4 years ago

I can see how this could be taken the wrong way. Some people really can't be tied the way a top wants to tie them and they should respect that. I know where you're coming from but as a Top I find it my responsibility to cater to the bottoms requests as well as I can because they are putting themselves in a vunerable position and one where they won't be making requests for awhile (unless there's an emergency need for it).

[...]

Well, actually I am very open with that so it cant be taken the wrong way. Not every sub is fitting for me, same as I am not a fitting dom for everyone. And the best thing you can do- be open and honest what you expect and what not