Are creeps scaring away new members?

[TomYi]

In the past, members have mentioned being bombarded with creepy private messages right after starting an account. I know that it can be hard to quantify just how big this problem is, but it doesn't takea genius to figure out that this is a real problem. This harrassment is especially bad for new female members, and I really feel bad for them.

I see a lot of new members come and go without ever even getting a pink name, and I can't help but wonder if this is partly because they were turned off by creepy PMs.

We've addressed this before, and obviously the perverts aren't going to stop any time soon, but maybe we could mitigate the problem by locking all PMs for members who have made less than 5 or so posts? That way, maybe they'll have a chance to explore and comment in peace, and find attachment with the forum before having to deal with its ugly side.

[DallasNotAustin]

I think it's a good point you raise and definitely one I could see the reasoning behind. I've gotten my own fair share of odd DMs and I imagine that for members who aren't familiar with other people on the site or may just not be comfortable reaching out to others, it could be a problem. I admittedly don't think that this issue alone would scare off new members or prevent lurkers from becoming more active, but it could be a contributing factor and you raise a good point.

I can't help but feel like this is a double edged sword (to some extent) however, as I think that another reason newer members might not feel welcome is because they don't really feel "in" if that makes any sense. To elaborate just a tad, I think that newer members might not feel any connections to anyone in the site and may be a little shy to be active and comment because taking the first step into a new pond can be a scary experience, especially when it's something as intimate and personal as TUGs.

That said, if PMs are blocked for members until they have X posts, it could also potentially block some folks from participating in things like RP or speaking to other more experienced members of the site if they want their first few posts to be stories and whatnot, and if they just want to reach out for advice.

I 100% agree with you on the fact that creeps could be scaring away new members however, and sorry for the tangent but I felt like it was important to examine more facets to the issue. Have a good day!

[Xtc]

Good points, both of you. Thanks for raising the question.

As has been said, delaying access to pm's is, indeed, a double-edged sword.

Perhaps we should in some way be proactive in encouraging members who are receiving inappropriate pm's to report them to the Mods. [mention]BoundJana[/mention], what do you think?

Tags: [mention]Johnsnow[/mention] [mention]chadmc90[/mention]

[chadmc90]

Honestly, I thought PMs are supposed to be locked until the user has made his/her approval posts, but I actually like the idea of having a time restriction on users having access to PMs until they've had time to explain the site. In all honesty, I'd rather not allow standard users access to PMs, but I do understand the benefits of having it.

[superbound]

[mention]chadmc90[/mention] I can confirm to you, when I made my new account a while back, I was able to message people right away, without making the two posts (pending.)

I also agree with the "creepy" messages. It's a mix of new members wanting to role play, and just some that have been here (by other names) for a long time, especially the "If you were my Aunt, how would you tie me up" person. Ugh.

I've also had some ugly messages about a story I posted a month ago that this person did not like. He kept on and on and on and on and would make other names to private message me. It got to me too much and I deleted my story.

So there are certainly some pros and cons to private messaging sadly.

Den

[BoundJana]

We as the team are well aware of the presence of those PM creeps. I know how those messages creep, thrust me, I am getting my fair share of them, be it here or on other sites.

However, our hands are bound (in a literal way, of course) as long as the PMs send by those individuals aren't getting reported. When we are getting a report about an inappropriate message we first warn the user, before banning him when reports about the user keep coming in.

That is why we as a team encourage each member to report any message that is giving you the chills in a bad way! Do not be afraid to report a message if it's content is weirding you out, you are not getting any negative backlash from it!

[Xtc]

What [mention]BoundJana[/mention] says is, of course, absolutely right. Would putting a general call out to the effect that members should report inappropriate posts be useful or would it possibly counter-productive?

[superbound]

[mention]Xtc[/mention] useful. I would do it as a tag/pin it, or a pop-up message. That way, EVERYONE sees it when they sign in.

BTW, when I get a notification that anything I report is "closed" does that just mean it's been read/taken care of or no action taken? I've had to remove my stories due to these "creeps" on the harassment level, and then some of the other ones people are complaining about. But, as Chad said, the private messaging feature is very useful. Some people don't feel comfortable talking about certain things on public forum.

[bondagefreak]

[mention]TomYi[/mention] Hey buddy.
To answer your original question; no, this isn't really a problem.
At least, no more so than it is on the rest of the web.


The fact that the vast majority of new accounts you're seeing aren't ever turning pink is due to the fact that 95%+ of them are just spam bots.
They join up, try posting spam once, get blocked by our "first post verification measures" and get IP banned on the spot (usually within minutes of their signing up).

To an ordinary member, it would appear as though the user(s) in question signed up, browsed the board for a few minutes, and them logged off and never returned. I can assure you this is not the case.
An overwhelming number of those "blue" coloured accounts are deactivated/banned accounts.


PM creeps aren't more prevalent here than anywhere else kink-related on the web.
And, as you were right to point out, this annoying reality almost solely affects the female minority on this board.

Save for one person on this thread, none of the guys on this forum have ever complained about PM harrassment or creepy messages.
I'm in regular contact with several dozen guys on here, many of which have started posting in the last couple weeks and months.
None of them have complained or even mentioned receiving strange PMs.

The moderation team almost never receives any PM harassment reports.
The only times we do, is when a spam bot decides to try and peddle something over private messaging instead of public posting.
Those messages are always in Russian, and result in the spam bot getting IP banned mere minutes after a PM report is made.
Again, this is something that almost never happens.



Hope this clears your doubts and answers your questions as to why so many new "users" are signing up and then logging off and never returning.
They aren't real users

All in all, this forum is a very happy place!
I can list a BUNCH of new members who've recently joined the ranks of regular commentators and are having a blast on this board


We're so fortunate to have this neat little haven.

[Socksbound]

I get your point [mention]TomYi[/mention] and it maybe is something that some new members have had happen.

I personally did get a couple of requests for role play within hours of joining but also had a couple of warm welcomes from people like [mention]bondagefreak[/mention] just to mention one.

I think getting people to try to post in the introductions section as well as listing there likes on their profile would help those authors find newer members and introduce themselves. They could recommend stories that could be of interest to them and encourage them to comment on stories to bring the involvement up.

Having a positive interaction at the start is the key. By feeling wanted and included those weird or unwanted requests are mitigated or at the very least the new member will have someone to talk to about them. If people feel encouraged they will be more willing to participate.

It may be a bit of work but if we as a group and especially those who are authors want more comments and feedback on stories it’s up to us to actively advocate for people to have a positive and fun time here.

I was a lurker in here for quite some time for fear of not being accepted, if I hadn’t had the positive interactions from authors when I finally made an account I’d probably have just lurked in the background like before.