Roxanne's stories
01 - A true story of a bdsm relationship
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By Roxanne
Monday, June 26th 2006 - 05:12:58 AM
A true story of a bdsm relationship
It's been over a year that i have been in mourning. I can't sleep tonight so I thought that I would share some of my experiences on this board.
My husband has been the only master I have known. We met when I was 21 and a junior in college. He was the friend of my roommate. She had known him for a couple of years and while she liked him, he was not her type. They made out once or twice and that was about it.
He lived in New England. I lived and went to school in upstate New York. I lived a pretty sheltered life. I have a younger sister and my parents had us when they were in their late 30's. We grew up Catholic and pretty much did as we were told.
I was never a "looker" - I had had some boyfriends in high school, but nothing real serious. I wasn't a virgin, however. I lost that in my senior year when I decided that I would make myself a present to the guy I was dating at the time. That's another story.
As I said, I had dated some guys in college and had slept with some of them, but they just never did anything for me. So I was single when I met Peter.
He had come up to visit Lisa. She asked me to show some interest in him. It wasn't too hard to do. He wasn't a macho stud, but he was polite and confident. We went out with Lisa and this guy she was trying to bed. We went out to the local pub, drank and played pool, danced a little, and went back to our room. Lisa slid off with the guy and Peter and I were left to watch TV. We talked and found we had a lot in common, he grew up Catholic (but was lapsed), we liked being outdoors, we like the same kind of movies.
Then without a word he reached up and began to stroke my chin, and run his fingers around my lips. Then he announced, "I'm going to kiss you", pulled my mouth to his and gave me a wonderfully tender kiss. We made out long and hard. Shirts came off. Pants fell down. I found myself on the bed, with him holding my hands above my head with one hand, caressing my skin and running his fingernails with the other. I was so horny and he was teasing me on. He told me to keep my hands above my head. To my surprise, I did. He expertly removed all my underwear, and then stood over me and gazed. "You are wonderful" he told me. I think I might have blushed.
He said "I didn't tell you to move your hands". I gasped and put them back over my head. He was so firm, but not mean. Then he said "Have you ever been gagged?" I shook my head no. He smiled. "Where are your bandanas or scarves?" I told him they were in a drawer. He got up and went and got one - I remember it being bright orange. He then tied a knot in the middle and kneeled next to me. "Are you ready for this?" he asked. I had never felt more ready to try something before in my life. I nodded yes. He kissed me once and then put the knot in my mouth, gently guiding it between my teeth. He tied it firmly behind my head. When he looked at me again, I gave him my best bedroom eyes and he said, "Yes baby - it will come".
I was never so turned on in all my life. My mewing and mmppghging turned him on more and his moan made me even wetter. I remained gagged the entire time. He let me touch him tho!
We fell asleep after that. I woke the next morning to him watching me. I tried to say "Good Morning" but it cam out "Gad Muuning". I had stayed gagged all night long.
The next day we went out about town and had a great time. Eventually we ran into Lisa, who said that her guy turned out to be too fast. We giggled and she finally caught on. That night she graciously offered to sleep on the couch in the lounge. She told me the next day that we had kept her up because we were so loud. I thought that ironic, seeing how Peter had me gagged all of the night again.
From then on out we were a couple. I was hard at first; he was three hours away. But we wrote a lot and called every once in a while. Remember the internet and email were not even thought of yet! That summer he came up to visit me at home. He met my sister and my parents. They all thought he was a nice guy, polite and gentle. My father was a little nervous about his choice of profession - Peter was studying to be an elementary school teacher. No money there!
But little did they know! Early Saturday morning, when they had gone out shopping, I snuck into the guest room. I jumped on Peter and began to make out with him. He was pleasantly startled! I took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. We walked past my sleeping sister. I pulled him into my bedroom. I had an old four post bed. Peter looked at me and said, "Why are we here?" "Tie me up" I said. He looked at me. "You want me to tie you up while your sister is next door?" "Yes" I pleaded. He told me to get into the bed. I assumed the X position. "What do I use" he grinned. I nodded to look in the bedstand next to me. He opened it. Inside I had some rope and some scarves. He tied me to the posts. Then he balled up one scarf and shoved it in my mouth. He gagged me with another knotted one. I was soooo turned on. My little sister could walk in at any time. My parents could be home any time soon. But honestly, if they had caught us, I would not have cared. I loved this man and I wanted everyone to see I would do anything for him.
We didn't get caught - that time.
Later that summer, I drove to his school were he was working at the Student Union. He had a room in one of the dorms and his roommate had conveniently left for the weekend. We had dinner that night and went out to a cabaret with some of his friends. I had begun to take care of myself for him and had lost some weight, and had begun to dress a little nicer. When we went back to his room he had wanted to rip off my clothes right away - but I asked him if I could show him something. So I got into the middle of the room while he sat and watched. I shimmied out of my denim skirt. He could see that underneath I was wearing stockings, garter straps, and nothing else. He smiled and sighed. Then I very slowly unbuttoned my blouse and revealed that I was wearing a white corset along with the garter straps. "Wait!!" I told him. I dipped into my bag and pulled out a white scarf that I proceed to tie around my neck. Then to top it off, I pulled out a pair of white gloves that I had had from my senior prom. I could see the bulge in his pants already. "How do I look?" I asked. He slowly got up off the chair and moved towards me. He scooped me up into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He ran his hands all over my back and my ass. Then he said to me 0 for the very first time - "I love you". I think I may have ejaculated right then and there. We kissed hard and I told him I loved him too. The first man I ever really meant that for. Then I said, "I'm yours. Do what you want with me". "Really?" he asked. "Yes" I said, "I am all yours".
That night he tied me in the strictest position up to that point. He had me sitting with my ankles crossed and tied. He tied my arms behind me, almost in a reverse prayer. There was a rope that lead from my ankles, under my ass, up to my wrists. My arms were pinned to my sides with ropes. I could not move my wrists at all. I was stuck in the sitting position as he ran ropes from my bound ankles under each arm and then around my body.
I whimpered but I did not cry. I had told him to do what he wanted to. It was not the position I wanted to be in, but I had asked for it. I was still dressed all in white - stockings corset, gloves. He bent my head back as far as it would go and put two white handkerchiefs on my eyes. He then tied my white scarf over them. I would not see. But I could hear him.
"All this time", he said, "I have been easy on you with bondage. But it's time to take it to the next level." I shuddered a bit. Then I felt him come up behind me. "Do you really love me?" "Yes bab..." I started to say, but he then clamped his hand over my mouth. "Just nod yes or no" he told me. I nodded yes. "Do you trust me?" Yes I nodded. "I am going to test that trust" he said. Then I heard him fumble with something and a tearing noise. "Do you know what this is?" he asked. I nodded no. Another tearing sound. "Now?" No, I nodded. More tearing. He whispered in my ear, "guess..." "Newspaper?" He laughed. "Guess again" Then I realized - "Tape?" Yes he said. And he began to tape my mouth. I figured it would be one strip across my mouth. It was. Then another. Then an X over those. Then he ran some under my chin. Three more went from ear to ear over all that. I was his little package. All he had to do was put a knot on me and place me under the Christmas tree. (That's another story).
Then he stopped. And he was whispering in my ear again. "I am going to test your trust tonight" I stopped and began to breathe heavy through my nose. "I am going back out for last call with the gang" He meant the group of guys and girls he worked with. "I am leaving you here. You can't escape and noone is coming to get you. I want you to think about all the different ways I am going to fuck you when I get back." I don't know why, but I nodded my head yes. "Really? Last chance - do you want me to untie you?" No - I wanted to prove to him I was all his - like no other woman he had ever had. I nodded no.
"Okay baby, I'll see you later", and he was gone. I heard the door close and his footsteps go down the hall and out.
I sat there for the longest time. I listened for him. I began to test my ropes. He had kept the knots away from my fingers. I tried to stretch my legs out and the rope from my ankles pulled my wrist down. That was painful. I tried moving my mouth. I could wiggle my jaw back and forth, but the tape stayed on. He had not packed my mouth so it tried to see how loud I could get. mmppghhMMGPHHH!! That's when I heard some guys in the hall! They had been laughing and stuff but then they got quiet. "Listen?" one of them said. "Did you hear anything?" I froze. I held my breath. "Pete?" one of them said. "Peeetteee - are you in there?" Someone tried the door and I jumped, but stayed quiet. "Com'on we're going to miss happy hour!" one said and they were off. I resisted the temptation to cry. I wanted my baby here next to me. But I was going to prove to him I was his girl. And . . . I was getting turned on by all this. It was very exciting. Much more so than the relationships I had had before Peter.
I tried to relax and think about the things I would do with him. We loved to camp, I wanted to cook for him, I wanted to be his lover, I wanted to be his . . . is slave the right word?
I don't know how long it was, but I heard a key in the door. The door opened and I could hear footsteps. I tried to say "Peter? Baby?" but what came out was "puutr? Buubb?" I could smell cigarette smoke and alcohol. Then more movement. Doors opening. And whoever it was was out the door. But he had turned the radio on. I used that to cover my sounds and I tried to get out of the ropes. I tried to open my mouth to get the tape off, but there was too much of it.
Then the door opened again. And I could smell soap and shampoo. The radio was turned down. I heard him move towards me. The blindfold came off and it was my man, Peter. Shining, glistening from the shower. So I struggled again my ropes. I knew I wouldn't get out, but I loved to watch his face. After about 5 minutes he was grinning. I was smiling too beneath my gag.
"You okay?" he asked. Yes I nodded. "Before I untie you, I want you to know that this had been a huge fantasy of mine, but I had never dome it. I never thought I would find the right girl." I nodded under the gag, and tried to say "Me!! Me!!" He untied my ankles and laid me back on the bed. I looked at him and I began to cry. He looked very serious and began to rip the tape off my face. He was not gentle and it stung, causing me to cry some more. "Whats wrong?" he asked. Did I hurt you?
"No", I cried. "I'm being silly". "What is it?" he asked. I told him I had thought a lot about us, over the last few weeks and for the (ohmygod hour) I had been left tied. I told him that I was not scared because I had trusted him and loved him and wanted to be like this with him always. Then I cried some more because girls aren't supposed to tell guys that - especially ones who tie them up.
He smiled and told me he had thought a lot about us as well. I woke a few hours after, with my arms still tied behind me. I had lost the feelings in my fingers so Peter untied me and massaged my fingers until they came back.
Things got busy for the rest of the summer. We didn't see each other again for weeks. But we wrote and called when we could afford it. We were finishing our senior year and had lots to do.
But one weekend changed everything. Peter came up to see me at school. Lisa had graduated and I had a single room in a new building. Peter got there late in the afternoon and we went out to dinner. He was still a gentleman and caring but I felt he was being too formal. That night we made love, but he begged off bondage saying he was too tired. I watched him fall asleep.
The next morning I awoke to see Peter sitting at my desk watching me as I slept. "Hey Daddy", I said as I woke up. "Good morning Baby" he told me. "What's up honey?" I asked. He got up and stood over me. "I want you to do somethings for me" he said. I got to my knees, naked on my bed. "Anything for you", I told him. "Get dressed in your shiny boots." I pulled on and zippered my pair of shiny brown knee high boots. I was almost as tall as him in the 4' heels. He kissed me long and hard; brushed my long brown hair with his hand. "Anything for me?" he asked. I looked him right in the eye and said "For you - anything". Then I meowed - it was a joke we had between us. I told him often that I would do anything - even meow like a cat. He made me a cat one Halloween , but that's another story. "Give me your hands" and I put my hands out - palms up. "Make fists" he said and I did as I was told. He then pulled out a roll of black tape and began to tape my hands up. When he was done - I could not move my fingers. "Where are your snowmobile mittens?" I told him where the thick leather mittens my Dad had given me were and he put them on my hands. He then taped over the ends so the mittens would not come off. "Sit!" and so I did on the desk chair. He tied my ankles to the back legs of the chair. My feet were off the ground and my legs spread. He tied my legs just below the knees to the front legs of the chair. He then tied each wrist to the opposite elbow, and then tied my torso to the chair. We had not done this in a while, but I never got scared when we did. Instead I was full of anticipation and the small puddle in the seat of the chair proved it.
"I want to take us to another level", he announced. From out of his bag, he pulled a red ball with straps coming out of it. I had seen ballgags in magazines Peter had shown me, but never one up close. "Baby you know where this goes" he said and I began to lick my lips. He brought it to my mouth and I looked at him and said "Kiss me first?" He grabbed my chin looked me in the eye and smiled. "Maybe later" he said and put the ball between my teeth. I opened my mouth all the way. The rubber tasted nasty. He then strapped it behind my head. It pinched the ends of my mouth and I winced. Peter kept on strapping. The ball filled my mouth and pressed my tongue to the bottom of my mouth. No gag had ever done that before. Peter came around, looked at me, and smiled. Then he surprised me by buckling a strap beneath my chin. Almost immediately I began to drool.
"Now you look almost sexy - we need another couple of things!" Peter pulled out a stick of lipstick. Red, it screamed RED. I only wore this when we were playing. He painted my lips cherry red. "One more thing" he smiled. He reached into his duffle and pulled out a collar. It was brown with silver buttons in it. There was a ring for a leash and a tag on it.
"The ballgag is not the next level", he told me. "This is". He showed me the tag, it had my name and then "property of Peter". I sighed and tried to smile. Instead I'm sure I drooled some more.
"The reason I was so distant last night was that I was nervous about thishe said. want you to where this as a token of our commitment to each other. I want you to be my submissive slave girl, long term." I nodded yes, yes, YES.
"When we graduate, I want you to move in with me. I will take care of your and you will serve me. When we are out in public together, I want you to wear this." And he put it on me.
I know this is not politically correct to feel this way - but I wanted to be his. He made me feel important. He made me feel more like a woman than any man ever had or ever would. He did not beat me or torture me, but he was strict in my bondage and I loved him for that.
Now he was asking me to wear a collar for him, in public, with a dog tag. I shook my head to hear it jingle.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked.
"USSS" was all I could say. The sound of my gagged mouth surprised me. I had never been gagged so well.
He pulled the chair around so that I was staring at myself in the full-length mirror. I had red lips and a red ball for a mouth. Ropes ran around above and below my breasts. I could not see my arms or hands as they were veer securely tied behind me. My legs were spread and lifted off the ground.
I never felt so alive and excited.
He left me like that in the room, alone. He went to the student union to get some coffee and breakfast to feed me. He had left the slats of the blinds open so that I could see out but noone could see in.
I looked at myself. This would be the life I would have. Bound to a man, bound by a man. Gagged, but he gave me a voice in my decision. I loved the collar. It was soooo sexy. I looked at myself, was I a victim or a willing participant in a very exciting sexy life.
My mother and father slept in separate beds. I had talked with girlfriends who told me about faking orgasms or having to put up with sex because they wanted to marry rich and marry soon. I looked at myself and tried to giggle. What if my mom could see me now? What will my friends say when they see the collar?
Peter came back within half an hour. He had coffee and muffins. He pulled the ballgag out and fed me. He untied me but kept me wearing the leather mittens and boots. He let me drink coffee out of a straw.
"What is your answer?" he asked. "I told you months ago I would do anything for you", I said to him. "I meant it. I will proudly wear your collar!" He smiled and said, "We'll have a lot to talk about then!"
He eventually let me out of the mittens and tape, and out of my boots. We took showers. Back in my room, he taped my eyes so that I would not see how he was dressing me. When he was done, I was wearing my very sexy black bra and panties, a fluffy turtleneck sweater, jeans with boots over them. I still wore my collar.
We went out to the next big town over and went to the mall where we saw a movie, shopped a little, made out a lot.
I ran into one of my girlfriends at the mall. Peter was getting coffee. She asked me what was under the turtleneck and I proudly showed her the collar. She was a little taken aback, but said she wanted to talk to me later about "things".
Peter and I then went to dinner and back to my school. We walked around campus. It was fall and it was pretty cool out. He held me close. We sat on a bench and were quiet. I asked him "What's the matter Daddy?" He looked at me. Ohmygod he's having second thoughts. I started to well up.
"You really don't want me do you?" He pulled back and saw me begin to cry. Then he got down in front of me. "No no that's not it at all" he said. "I'm just trying to figure out how to say this". What?, I wondered.
He then pulled out a small box. "I know you can't wear a collar everywhere and show everybody, so I got you something you could wear all the time." And he opened the box to show me the most wonderful little diamond ring. "Marry me" he said, "and I will take care of you forever".
And he did. Until last winter - the winter of 2005. Peter was coming home from a meeting when a truck went through a light and sideswiped him. He died instantly.
We had a wonderful life. We were both teachers in out town - he in the elementary school and me in the high school. I continued to be his submissive. I was his bondage slave for almost 20 years. We had built up quite a collection of toys.
When we had our girls we of course had to be more discreet. We built a house where we had a playroom upstairs. There were many times when the girls would ask "Where's Mommy?" and be told I was napping or out for the day, when in fact I was bound and gagged upstairs.
All I have left now are my two wonderful girls - one is 12 and the other is 15. I don't know if they will follow in their mother's (bound) footsteps, but recently I caught the 15 year old wearing a pair of my thigh boots.
Thank you for letting me get this out. It's been hard, but I want people to know that kink is not perverted and we did have a long and wonderfully loving bdsm relationship.
roxanne
sosubroxie@yahoo.com
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Roxanne's stories
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Index of all stories in the "Archive for Adults" section
Roxanne : 01 - A true story of a bdsm relationship (M/F)
Moderator: Archiver
Man, I was really enjoying that story up until the last part. Real life sucks sometimes. Glad she enjoyed and cherished the moments she had with him, TUGS related and otherwise.