Retro Family Counselling (F/FMfm)

[KP Presents]

Many who visit this site know I offer a – unique – counselling service for families, either to deal with trauma from an unfortunate event or to help with bonding together. No pun intended. Recently I was the recipient of a set of anonymized reports from a mentor of mine who carried out similar work in past years, and I wished to share them with you. Be aware all names have been chosen by me, and are not the real names of those involved…

Independence Day

This visit was in the early 1980’s and it was a hot July morning when I called at the home of this American family. They had been clients of mine before, and it was their mother who called on me to help them with a family game they wished to play.

It was the mother who opened the door and greeted me, wearing a blue blouse with red and white circles. It was open, so I could also see the blue swimsuit and bikini shorts she was wearing underneath the blouse, as well as flat sandals. Her brown hair was pulled back from her face, with a bun at the top of her head.

I came in and met her two children again – her daughter was eleven years old and was wearing a red strapless top and white short with white sandals and a white golfing visor on her blonde hair, while her ten-year-old son was wearing a red sleeveless top and blue shorts.

I could see their father outside bare chested with a collar and bow tie, manning the barbecue so I asked what they wanted me to do – and they explained I was to make sure they were being held captive for their father to rescue. I agreed but said I would keep it simple – something they all agreed with.

I had come suitable prepared, as I produced from my bag three red ribbons, and told them to stand with their hands behind their backs while I secured their wrists together behind their backs. They then sat down as I produced three blue ribbons, one for each of them to make sure their ankles were secured together as well.

Finally, I smoothed strips of white tape down over their mouths before the two children stood up and jumped out of the room, while their mother lay down on her side on a couch. I then went outside, had a word with their father, and left them to their game…


Friday Night Freedom

This p[articular family had been referred to me after a particular shocking bank robbery in 1985, in which they had been held hostage overnight, so I suggested that having a session where they dealt with their fears, before they sat for the traditional Friday night dinner, would be a good way to quell any of their lingering fears.

So, I arrived early that afternoon to explain what I was going to do to their mother, Hannah. She was wearing a white blouse with a blue bird pattern on it, dark blue jeans and black flat shoes, and as I explained my plan she naturally had some concerns – but I promised her there was no reason to be afraid, and it could be cathartic…

A short while later, the children returned, and Hannah told them to go and do their homework, then change and come back down as I prepared her. The first to come in was eight-year-old Samuel, who had changed into a green vest top, red shorts and brown sandals – and then he saw Hannah standing there, with silver tape over her mouth, and a length of rope in her hands.

I told Samuel that for his exercise, his mother was going to tie him up and then gag him – and his sisters when they came down, but he was to tell her if he ever felt afraid. He nodded and then put his hands behind his back as I showed Hannah how to use the rope to make sure they stayed there. He said he was all right, as I gave her a longer length of rope, and told her how to make sure his upper arms stayed by his sides.

He then sat in front of the long couch in the front room, watching as I told Hannah to tie his ankles together once he had crossed his legs. Once that was done, she tied a length of rope from the rope round his upper body to his ankles, all the time hearing him reassure her he was all right, he was not scared.

I then pressed a length of silver tape over his mouth as his older sister Esther came into the room. Her darker blonde hair was wavy, and she was wearing a blue, purple and white chintz patterned pinafore dress with white shoes.

She looked at Samuel as he nodded, and then she allowed Esther to make sure she was bound in the same way, next to her brother as they bumped into each other and tried to talk through the tape gags – and then the oldest daughter came into the room. Ruth was fourteen, and she was wearing a pink dress with a floral pattern and a lace collar. Th dress had short sleeves and a knee length skirt; the outfit was completed by her white lace effect shoes.

A few minutes later, she was in the same position as Eshter on the other side of Samuel, all three of them watching as I secured Hannah’s wrists together behind her back, and her arms to her sides – like the children, a single band of rope that sat under her chest, before she lay on the couch opposite them while I secured her ankles and legs.

The part I had to play then was to finish the preparation for the evening meal, while the rest of the family relaxed and began to understand their fear was not due to their situation, but with the ones doing it to them – and they were already paying the price in prison…


My Girls

Abigail and her two daughters had been the victims of a home invasion, the three of them left bound and gagged for hours in their night clothes, and I had been asked to help them to work through the situation again in a controlled manner.

I met with Abigail, nine year old Yvette and seven year old Diana a few times, allowing them to talk to me about what had happened, the fares thy felt, and how they felt now, before I even broached the question of whether or not they would be willing for me to take them through the same experience again.

I told them not to wear nightclothes, but casual clothes, so when I called Abigail was wearing a white vest top over a pink rollneck sweater, grey slacks and grey ankle boots. Yvette had on a pink sweatshirt with a large picture of Minie Mouse on the front, black pants and white socks, while Diana had a black bow in her blonde hair, a white top with pictures of Minnie Mouse as well, and black pants.

I told them I was going to do this in a comfortable way, as I asked them to sit next to each other on a couch and produced from my bag a roll of white tape. As they watched, I used the tape to secure their ankles together, and then let them talk about how they felt, whether or not they were scared.

Only when they were happy did I use the tape to secure their legs together below their knees, and then I waited a while before I got them to put their hands together in prayer and taped their wrists together in front of them. I allowed them to talk to each other for a while, before I covered their mouths with strips of the tape and left them to encourage each other, in complete safety.

They did start to cry with relief – at which point I removed the tape gags, and used rolled up scarves as cleave gags instead to help them to cope with expressing their thoughts in a muted way.

I have to say, it did help them to put the events of that morning behind them…


Denim Days

This was one of those occasions when the whole family took part in the session – and I was amused to see them adopting a red and blue style in unison, if in different ways…

The family had six people – Mum and Dad, two boys called Abe and Clive, who were nine and six, and two girls, eleven-year-old Zoe and eight-year-old Nell. I invited them to come to my rooms to take part in the session, and as the children watched television in the outer office, I invited Mum and Dad to come in and get ready first.

He was wearing a denim shirt, faded jeans and brown shoes, while Mum was wearing a denim coat dress that buttoned up the front, her feet just visible under the hem of the dress with her brown sandals on. I explained what was going to happen, and they signed the usual agreements before I used some soft white rope to secure their wrists together behind their backs in a comfortable manner.

I then invited them to sit in the center of two long couches, and to get comfortable before I used more rope to secure their ankles together, and then their legs – below his knees, and around the skirt of Mum’s dress above her knees. I asked them if they were both all right, and they nodded as they twisted round.

Mum then asked if the girls could come in first, so I opened the door and asked Zoe and Nell to come in. Zoe was wearing a red jumper under a blue denim waist coat, pressed blue jeans and white shoes. Her sister was wearing a round necked denim dress which came to below her knees, white tights and white shoes.

I told them to look at Mum, make sure she was all right, and then to sit on either side of her. When they did so, I bound their ankles and their legs with more rope, Zoe with her legs below her knees, and with Nell I asked her mother if it was all right if I folded her skirt back of a few minutes. When she nodded, I secured her younger sister’s legs below her knees in the same way, and then folded her skirt back as I asked them to put their arms round their mother’s arm, and then cross their wrists in front of themselves.

They then watched as I used more rope to secure their wrists together, and then tied the ends to the rope below their knees, so that they were going to stay right where they were. Mum talked to both of them, making sure they were all right and not hurt, as I went to the door again and asked Abe and Clive to come in. Abe was wearing a red cardigan over a blue denim shirt, jeans and white sneakers, while Clive had one denim dungarees over a red jumper and white trainers.

They looked at their Mum and their sisters, and then sat on either side of Dad as he talked to both of them, while I made sure they were bound in the same way as their sisters, their arms round those of their father. They wriggled round and laughed – then I smoothed red tape over each of their mouths as their Mum and Dad encouraged the kids to try to talk and to have fun.

Relaxed, and not afraid – a win for me…

Like Mummy

Like Abigail, Rhonda and her daughters had been the victims of a home invasion – but they had been left hogtied on their mother’s bed, and their fear was added to by the fact the intruders did not call for help, so they were left that way for hours.

I had managed to get them to the point where they would be comfortable if I tied them up, but it was needed to get them past that final hurdle, so I proposed they spend a morning with me watching over them. So I called on the Sunday afternoon, Rhonda meeting me at the door in a denim jacket over a white t-shirt, faded blue jeans and black ankle boots.

I had to smile, however, when I came in and saw ten y. old Angel and nine year old Mary – both wearing their own denim jackets over white t-shirts, Angel in faded jeans and brown ankle boot, Mary in the same shade of jeans as her jacket and brown trainers. Rhonda said they wanted to be the same as much as possible, so I opened my bag as they all knelt in front of a couch and put their hands behind their backs.

So, I did what we had done before – used white cords to secure their wrists together behind their backs, and then longer ropes to keep their arms against their sides, forming two bands as their jackets were opened up under the bands.

I then got Rhonda to sit one side of the couch while the girls watched me secure her ankles together, as well as her legs below her knees, and then bent her legs so she was sitting on them before I secured her ankles to her chest ropes behind her back – a sitting hogtie, if you will.

The girls asked if she was all right, and Rhonda assured them she was as I asked Mary to sit next to her mother. They then watched as I bound her ankles and legs in the same way as Rhonda, then helped her to lie on her side with her head no Rhonda’s lap -allowing me to bend her legs back and place her in a loose hogtie as well.

Rhonda sat talking to Mary as I helped Angel to sit on the other side of the couch, and then place her in the same binding as her mother. They all started to talk to each other, calm, no longer afraid – at least for as long as they could before I gagged each of them with rolled and knotted blue bandana.

Rhonda looked at her girls, and then nodded at me as they wriggled and tried to talk, completely calm and content…



Relax



This was an unusual case – it started with ten-year-old Tom, who had been watching a number of cop shows, and had developed a fascination with people been tied up. An obsession that meant he kept asking his mother fi she could tie up him and his thirteen-year-old sister.

This did worry Vivian, his mother – and she worked as a secretary for a colleague, ho referred her to me in confidence. I spoke with her first, and asked if she would be willing to let me help him see what he was really wanting. So, she agreed to me coming round the next Saturday morning to talk to the family.

This was the late eighties, so when I called round, it was not a surprise to see Vivian in a deep fronted red cardigan and pants, the cardigan over a V-necked blue sweater, gold shoes on her feet, and long dark brown hair.

She made coffee and we sat and talked for a while, before her son Tom came in. He was wearing a blue tracksuit with red and yellow panels, a yellow T-shirt under the jacket and white trainers, and he sat down as he told me about what he had seen.

So, I told him I was going to act out a scenario with him and his mother r- and his sister if she was willing. Vivian said she had talked to Fanta, and she was – interested – if a little apprehensive.

So, I asked Tom if he really wanted to know what it was like, then his mother was going to be the one who tied him up first under my supervision. That really excited him, as I handed Vivian a length of cord, and told him to put his hands behind his back.

I then instructed Vivian to double the rope over and tying his wrists together, before he turned round and showed me the ropes. I then said he should sit down on the chair, and when he did so I asked Vivian to make sure his ankles were tied together as well with more cord.

As he was tying that off, Tom’s sister Fanta came in. The thirteen-year-old was wearing a multi-coloured sweater over a purple roll neck jumper, white jeans and white bowling shoes with black laces, her long black hair in a ponytail. She looked at Tom, and asked if he was all right – and when he nodded, she asked if Vivian was going to do the same to her.

So, imagine her surprise when I said no – I was going to tell her how to do that to her mother. So, under my instruction, Vivian found herself with her wrists and ankles bound by Fanta, sitting next to Tom and watching as I secured the girl’s wrists behind her back, and then she sat down as I secured her ankles as well.

So, there they were, not afraid as Tom explained how it made him feel to be like this – and to see his mother and sister like that as well. At least he did not spill any hard things to keep quiet about afterwards – but that risk was always there.

Which is why I smoothed the ticking plaster over his mouth first, and then over Fanta’s mouth as their mother kissed them both on the head – then allowed me to gag her as well. I then turned on their television – there was re-run of Streets of San Francisco on, with a hostage situation…

[Tiengag5]

Love the family tied and gagged stories.