WPC Harris in Cafe Avenue (FFF/ F)

[Deleted User 769]

“Nice here isn't it?” Natalie Barnes (aspiring journalist, Taurus and judo green belt) purred from a secret location somewhere beneath a pair of impossibly dark sunglasses.

“Really most agreeable” Stevie Harris (Serving police officer, Pisces,.. bad at lists) remarked happily, lost within the confines of a comically oversized drinks menu, her heavy work boots resting on a nearby stool. She had the look of someone perfectly at peace with the world. In fact, it looked for all the world like she was contemplating a nap,..
The café was bathed in brilliant sunshine, it had the smug quality of light that said 'enjoy me whilst I'm here'. As a visiting American Natalie had been pre-warned that British Summertime was an elusive and fleeting event. Blink, or look away for even a moment and it will pass you by, much like Hayleys comet,.. or the Lock Ness Monster. Not about to let a moment of such cultural significance pass without note Natalie had chosen today as the first time she had worn a dress since arriving in the country.
“I love your outfit,.. it's so nice to finally see your legs”

“Thanks. You don't think it makes me look like the mug shot for a backing singer in a delinquent girl-group?”

“Ha, ha! That - or possibly an inmate who had been just been cast as Rizzo in the prison musical”

“He, he! Amazingly, that was exactly the look I was reaching for. Still, at least I made an effort,..” She teased,..
Stevie, still dressed in the remnants of her police uniform, appeared to notice her own outfit for the first time

“Sorry. I got a little sidetracked at work,.. Would you like me to go change?” She asked unfastening the button on her starched collar,..

“Please, don't trouble yourself on my account - Besides, you know how I feel about girls in uniform,..”

“Is that so?!”

“Sure. Why else would I keep you around?”

“Is that all I am to you? Eye candy in a tight fitting shirt?”

“Well, if the cap fits,..”

“You smooth talker you,..” She said with a smile “But at the risk of letting daylight in upon magic, the truth is it doesn't feel that sexy at all”

“How disappointing” Natalie replied in a feigned sulk.

“I know right?! What they fail to tell you is that the whole apparel, including all the equipment, is deceptively heavy and really rather itchy. Indeed the first time you put it it was so stiff it felt like I was wearing a straitjacket. And as for the hat you love so much, on my small head it made me look like Charlie Chaplin, I even managed to put it on the wrong way round!”

“Ha! Really?! Well, I still think you look adorable.” she said booping her nose.

“Aww, thanks sweetie. That said, I remember being so excited putting it on for the first time, like it was my first day at school. I think I gasped when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. It was intoxicating, with it's shiny silver buttons and starched material it made me look like someone really important, someone with confidence. All this prestige and influence was so new and refreshing, It was more than a little frightening, like playing dress up as an adult, but it was also wonderfully liberating, like shedding my skin and replacing it with a superhero costume.

“And like the average superhero you're constantly getting into scrapes with armed crooks”

“Well, I've had my share of adventures that's true,..”

“Modest and brave, you'll make some young lady very happy one day. Speaking of which, why don't you tell me what happened today,..?” the pretty young brunette with the thick rimmed glasses asked without looking up from her own copy of the wine list.

“How do you know that something happened today?”

“You mean besides the fact that you were too busy to change?”

“Besides that”

“Well the chaffing on your wrists would appear to be something of a dead give-away” She said with a wry smile,..

“How did you?-” Stevie stammered, pulling down her shirt sleeves to cover the incriminating marks

“My dear, I'm an investigative reporter remember? Now why don't you stop being coy and tell your beloved flatmate all your adventures on the thin blue line,..?“

“Hmm, maybe later Sherlock,.. but first,.. Drinks”

At that moment a pretty, cocktail waitress drifted past and Stevie whispered something in her ear. Moments later the same young woman returned with a bottle of red wine and two long stemmed glasses.

“Shall I be Mother?” the young police officer asked, opening the bottle and pouring out a generous helping,..

“Ooo, yes please. What shall we drink to?”

“The Groundhog?” Stevie suggested.

In response Natalie flashed a look of feigned disapproval, “I like to say a prayer and drink to world peace”

“Ha, ha! World peace it is” She said before the pair collapsing into fits of giggles.
They clinked glasses,.. the wicked world could wait, at least for a few hours.



Twenty minutes, and half a bottle of wine later,..
“So, you never told me what made you want to become a police woman,..”

“Oh I blame my Father completely. I don't think Dad, the big macho police Sargent, ever really forgave my mother for giving birth to a girl,.. But I adored him and the feeling was mutual. He loved being an officer and I grew to love it too. I was always fascinated by the notion of the knight in black and white armour. I remember he even bought me a little toy badge which I wore all the time. Deep down I guess I just wanted to be Daddies little girl,..”

“What was the training like?”

“Oh, it was brilliant. I loved every second,.. even when it came to learning reams of reams of legal definitions parrot fashion.

“So you were a bit of a swot then?”

“Oh definitely! I excelled in all my classes earning high marks across the board. Not only did the job make me feel like it was tailor made for me, but I loved the camaraderie, and the knowledge that I was helping people. The first time I went on the street I felt like I was walking on air. Whenever a member of the public stopped and asked me for directions I had to stop myself jumping up and down with excitement,..”

“Awwe, you sound adorkable. But, you still haven't told me how you got those marks on your wrists,..

“Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't be interested in hearing about that,..” She teased

“Are you kidding?, of course I do. Knowing your reputation I'm sure the story will have everything, action, excitement, mystery, intrigue,..”

“Your girlfriend in bondage?”

“Well, would that really be so bad?”

“It depends which side of the ropes you're on” She said with a smile

“Look, why don't you stop procrastinating and start at the beginning,..” She pressed with a smile that one might almost call beguiling,..

“Okay, you've twisted my arm,.. but first, I demand cake and fine wine,..”

“Excellent. I know just the place,..”



Thirty minutes, a change of location and another half bottle of wine, later,..
“..So, acting on an anonymous tip I found myself in a storage unit on the edge of town the walls and floors littered with antique furntiure, including,..

"The stolen rocking horse!” Natalie exclaimed, eager to show that she had been paying attention to the finer points of the case thus far.

“The very same,..” She said with a smile

Suddenly I heard footsteps from outside the lock-up. They appeared to be getting closer. I quickly looked about me for a suitable hiding place. It was too late to escape back through the open window, the only suitable refuge was a heavy wooden closet. Darting inside with all the stealth of a Kentucky show pony I carefully secreted myself among the various moth eaten coats and softly closed the door.
Moments later I heard a number of people enter the room. Peering through the keyhole I watched as the gang of crooks began gathering up the paintings. Apparently they were on the move.

“Come on. Come on. We haven't got all day!” Sensible shoes remarked testily,..

“Sensible shoes?” Natalie interjected

“Well, I didn't know their names and I could only see their feet from my hiding place”

“Ha, ha! Fair enough. Please, continue with your story”

“Okay,.. So the gang were busy hatching their plans,..

“Hey, which bonehead left the window open?” Sensible shoes demanded.

“It wasn't me!” plimsolls snapped back “Maybe you opened it yourself?!"

High heels crossed the room and slammed down the window. "Whoever is responsible better be more careful or we'll have the cops on us."

"If you ask me, I think it's about time we split anyway” cheap trainers commented nervously.

"Maybe you're right," high heels muttered "But we've one more good customer lined up. I told her to meet us on the playing fields at nine to see the goods."

"If your customer is coming this evening we'd better get the stage set." remarked sensible shoes

"All right. Let's clean up the join-"

Sadly, at this most unfortunate of moments I was overcome by the sudden impulse to sneeze. I buried my face in a handkerchief but only succeed in partially muffling the sound.
Immediately, the closet door was flung open and I was discovered.
Stepping boldly from the cabinet like a greyhound from the traps I gave a lengthy bow to my imaginary audience

“Ta-da!”

“Ha, ha! Brilliant! You tried to front it out”

“Well what choice did I have?”

“Did it work?”

“Sadly not. After a brief pause I was seized, roughly, by the hired goon squad and hauled in front of their leader,..

“A cute trick” high heels remarked with a wry smile. “But lets see how you are working with props,.. girls, tie her up”

“Oh goodie,..” Natalie interjected, excitedly.

“No need to sound so pleased about it” Stevie chided her happily.

For the benefit of new listeners, it should be noted at this point that WPC Harris had a somewhat unique habit of being kidnapped by various ne’er-do-wells in the course of her adventures. This routinely lead to her being placed in some form of restraint, a tendency that held a not-so mysterious appeal for Natalie. Indeed, as far back as she could remember the young journalist had been fascinated by the 'damsel in distress' trope. Watching old TV shows that featured a hero and a villain fighting she had always fantasised about being the young girl tied to the railway line. Whilst she had yet to achieve this particular ambition (despite vigorously pursing a career in front line journalism, an occupation so dangerous it practically comes with it's own ransom note) she was still able to live vicariously through the exploits of her best friend.
Although Stevie didn't necessarily see the appeal in being manhandled and locked in wooden crates, she was acutely aware of her girlfriends fascination with these tales and so was more than happy to oblige. Besides, who wouldn't want to be cast as the hero in someone's fantasies?
Working quickly, my arms and legs were securely bound and a gag was drawn firmly over my mouth. Thoroughly restrained I was unceremoniously dumped, like a pile of wet clothes, in the corner of the room. Trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey and with cloth over my mouth, I had no choice but to watch silently as my captors plotted their next move.
“Wait, don't skip the best bits. How were you tied? What did they use?”

“Well, fortunately for them, they were all wearing their school ties at the time, so they used them to bind my hands and feet. So, as I was saying-”

“Wait. Sorry,.. let me get this right, are you saying they were children?”

“They were Secondary school ties” She insisted forcefully

“Right?” Natalie replied, unsure of the significance

“It means they went to high school!”
Natalie raised an arch eyebrow,..

“They were very large, extremely intimidating sixteen year olds”

“No doubt” Natalie agreed

“Hey, no need to be sarcastic. I think I heard one of them say that she was the Captain of the school rugby team”

“Wow! The Captain. That is impressive!” she agreed all the time trying, and failing to stifle a laugh.

“Thank you. I thought so too. And the two who tied me up must have been sailors because they used a sea fearing knot to immobilize me”

“I believe you”

“Good then” She said, skeptically,..
The friends sat in contemplative silence for a moment

“Right,.. so to summarize, you were investigating the theft of a priceless, if ugly, rocking horse from a stately home only to stumble a forgery ring run by a bunch of school girls?”

“Once again. I'd like to strongly object to your description of my abductors. They looked less like the cast of Grange Hill and more like extras from the movie Mad Max”

“My apologies your honor, I withdraw that remark. So, you've been caught snooping by this cut-throat gang of teenage mercenaries who have tied you up,..”

“Affirmative”

“Okay, so there you are, a helpless prisoner, so what happens next?”
Stevie's voice became more melodramatic as she resumed her tale. She was warming to the idea of being an action heroine in her own movie.

“After they finally finished removing all trace of their criminal enterprise they decided to take me with them. I was blindfolded with another school tie and carried outside where I was unceremoniously deposited into the boot of a car. As the door was slammed shut I was left alone in the darkness. Moments later the car pulled away.
Naturally I struggled furiously in my bonds but to no avail -”

“Why didn’t you just yell for help?”

“I told you, I was gagged”

“How?” She asked, hanging on every scarp of detail.

“They tied a handkerchief between my teeth. Anyway,.. I knew I had to get free- a car trunk is an extremely dangerous place to be. I knew that most vehicles made after 2002 are fitted with a trunk release lever so, unable to budge the ties around my wrists and ankles I decided to concentrate on removing my blindfold. After a few minutes rubbing it against the side of the car jack I was finally able to see.

“Coo!” Natalie remarked, sounding suitably impressed.

“Thanks. Sadly however, this particular car, which seemed to be made of pure tetanus, was clearly manufactured sometime before the fall of the Berlin wall and thus my hopes of a speedy escape were cruelly dashed.

“Oh no!” Natalie exclaimed, “What will become of our heroine?”

“Fear not, beloved for I had another idea. It was a long shot, but if had to be worth an old college try,..
We had been driving along a long straight road for several minutes now which suggested that we were on a motorway of some description. If I couldn't get their attention by talking, maybe I could find another way to signal the police,..
Lying on my back, and using my elbows and feet to propel myself, I managed to inch myself into a sitting position facing the spot where I hoped the break lights would be.  Using all of my might I kicked away at the inside of the glass using the heel of my boots.
Sadly however, despite my best efforts, I was unable to push the lights out, but after some tricky maneuvering I was able to disconnect the wires -”

“Ah, I see. So, you were hoping that you'd get pulled over by the police for a faulty break light?”

“I told you it was a long shot”

“Ingenious. Looks and brains to match”

Stevie blushed “You're far too kind. But I couldn't know if my efforts were all in vain,.. meantime I languished in my makeshift prison forced to listen to their incessant dance music, it was worse than that country and western mix tape you made for me-”

“Hey! Don't ever speak ill of the Dolly Parton. So, I take it you were eventually discovered?”

“Self-evidently"

"Okay, no need to sound so smug about it"

"Sorry, so anyway after what seemed like an eternity spent in drum and bass purgatory a patrol car stopped the girls to tell them about the brake light. When they tried to run the police gave pursuit. After a short chase I was freed and the thieves were apprehended”

“Cool!”

“It was pretty exciting I guess. Unfortunately the rest of the gang, together with the rocking horse, had escaped in the second car”

“So, what happened to Stilettos?”

“It's funny you ask-” Stevie said leaning forward conspiratorially “Did you notice the woman who has been following us all evening”

“The statuesque blonde in the figure hugging red dress”

Stevie seemed disappointed “Oh. So you did notice”

Natalie smiled in a manner onlookers might have described as haughty “Of course I noticed. She was a most attractive young woman. What do you think she wants?”

Stevie's stoic expression threatened to break out into a grin “I'm not sure” she conceded “But it must be something pretty important because she's currently standing behind me poking a gun into my back”
Natalie looked up intrigued, and none too little excited.
Stevie wasn't joking.

“Maybe I'm here for the sweet trolley” The aforementioned statuesque blonde in the figure hugging red dress remarked with all the sweetness of honey.
Although markedly older than the teenage members of her gang, it was clear that she was too young to remember Pokémon the first time round,..
Like a sexy Fagin Natalie found herself thinking to herself,..
She tried, and failed, to stifle a lopsided grin before putting her hands up enthusiastically.
A spot of kidnapping after dinner? It sounded like tremendous fun.
Stevie, with somewhat less enthusiasm, followed suit.
“No need to be so formal my dears”

The impossibly good looking young woman motioned with her gun that they could lower her hands.
Natalie did so gratefully.
Stevie, who was feeling noticeably less accommodating, kept her arms raised theatrically high.

“Suit yourself” She remarked tersely.
At that point the waitress returned with a large silver platter laden with sweets. If she was concerned by the sight of the revolver she was polite enough to keep it to herself.

“I took the liberty of ordering. I take it you have no objections?” the gun-woman said attempting to break the ice.

“None at all. May I?” Natalie asked whilst sporting an award winning grin that would shame an Accademy award nominee.

“You may”

Natalie smiled broadly eagerly helping herself to the most ridiculous pasty she could find.
It had to be said, Natalie thought as she tucked into an impossibly gooey chocolate éclair, that for all her complaints, Stevie often attracted a better class of villain than the mindless thug typically favoured by her TV counterparts. After all, how many heroines were offered a dessert platter by their captors? Not many she suspected. Certainly not enough.

“So introductions,” she said between mouthfuls “my name is Natalie, I'm a journalist and this is my very best friend Stevie, she's a police officer,.. as you are no doubt aware. And you are?”

“Friends call me Roxie, but you can call me Miss Scarlett”

“I've got some alternative pseudonyms you could glance at” Stevie suggested under her breath.

“No need to be rude” Natalie chided her “Okay Miss Scarlett, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“I'm here for the flash-drive.”

“The one with your client list?” Stevie replied, taking advantage of her best friends mouth being full of cake.

“The very same. So, where is it?”

“How would I know?” Stevie replied with a grin.

“Don't play the fool Miss Harris”

“I assure you that no-one is that good an actress” Natalie interjected unhelpfully wiping the corners of her mouth.

“Okay, if you won't help me willingly, maybe we should continue this conversation somewhere a little less salubrious,..

“Do you know, Nat I think we're being invited to leave” Stevie pointed out

“Really?” Natalie replied giddily “How exciting!”

“Forgive me saying” Roxie said with a stern rebuke “But I don't think you're taking this seriously enough”

“I'm sure that's true because we're not taking it seriously at all” Stevie said with a happy grin

“Well, if you continue to refuse to co-operate then I'll have to think about doing something unpleasant to your girlfriend,..”

“You should know” Stevie warned her “I don't respond very well to threats,..”

“Imagine, if you will, the level of my disinterest” Roxie remarked pointedly.

This really was proving to be a most exhausting abduction,..

“Sweetie, where are your manners?” Natalie interjected “If this young lady has gone to all the considerable trouble and inconvenience of tracking us, well you, down, then it would be rude not to go for a ride with her,..”
The police woman sighed wearily.

“Okay” She said, turning to address the gun woman “What's the magic word?”
With a considerable effort Roxie swallowed down her mounting anger. Her dignity ebbing away in front of her very eyes.

“Please. Please will you come with me before I shoot your partner in the face?”
After what felt like an age.

“There. That wasn't so hard was it. Okay, I’ll go with you, but only because you asked so nicely”

“An excellent decision. I was beginning to think that you were going to be terribly stubborn and I would have had to shoot you”

“You have no idea how disagreeable that would be – have you ever tried to get blood out of a white shirt?!

“Keep your hands in sight and follow me, please, ladies," she commanded, happy to finally be making progress.

“And if we refuse?”

“Why would we refuse?” Natalie asked, suddenly concerned.

Roxie, who was becoming weary with the incessant banter of her prisoners leant forward giving both of her fellow dinners a closer look at the barrel of the gun.

“I really must insist”

“Well, it doesn't appear that we have any choice in the matter” Natalie surmised with a smile.

“You don't”

Sporting identical grins, both women, their hands held theatrically up in the air, finally did as they were told. Neither left a tip.
Everyone who wasn't directly involved in a hostage situation suddenly looked elsewhere
The owner hardly battered an eyelid when the smartly dressed young lady marched his two patrons out of the bar at gunpoint leading Natalie to wonder just how often this occurred.
As they were marched through the back streets both captives walked with an airy disposition that suggested that being taken hostage was nothing more than a minor inconvenience in the course of their night out. In fact, the two women were so busy chatting among themselves that Roxie was beginning to feel like a bit player in her own hostage drama.
Stevie found that she did some of her best thinking at gunpoint. She found it really sharpened the intellect. Indeed, the presence of a loaded pistol at her back was often responsible for some of her best leaps of logic. Already she had calculated five different methods of disarming her kidnapper.
Just once Stevie thought to herself, could she possibly enjoy an evening out without one, or both parties being held up at gunpoint,..?
Natalie on the other hand seemed thoroughly disinterested in the prospect of mounting an escape. Maybe this was finally going to be the adventure when she was going to get to play the part of the damsel in distress,..

[TamatoaShiny123]

Yay! A new story from u!

[Deleted User 769]

Yay! A new story from u!

Hope it was worth the wait

[TamatoaShiny123]

Yay! A new story from u!

Hope it was worth the wait

Indeed it was!

[MaxRoper]

Hurrah for Natalie. It seems she may at last become a restrained captive. Always a good idea to be captured by an attractive kidnapper, and with an attractive co-victim.

Carry on, please.

[Deleted User 769]

Ha, ha! So glad to hear you enjoyed it.
Yes, hopefully Nat will finally get to play a real tie-up game with Stevie.
Any suggestions as to what peril should await our two heroes?

[MaxRoper]

I suspect they will be bound and gagged (after a bit of witty dialog, of course), placed into some sort of great peril, and be forced to rely on their wits and good fortune to avoid a sad ending. In other words, I assume you'll carry on in your usual delightful manner. You've given one of the women a dress (finally!) and I shan't ask for more than that.