Black Widow’s Birthday Brouhaha (unknown x2/F)

[TamatoaShiny123]

A short story I wrote for someone’s birthday on Deviantart


Natasha Romanoff (aka Black Widow) opened her eyes. She had just woken up and let out a giant yawn. She reached over and grabbed her phone, seeing that the date read July 24th.

“Oh yea, today’s my birthday.”

Due to her past as a spy, Natasha had never really celebrated her birthday. In fact, she didn’t even have a permanent bedroom until she came to live at the Avengers’ base earlier that year. She hadn’t brought up her birthday to her fellow teammates, so she figured today would be just like any other day.

After taking a sip from the bottle of water she kept on her nightstand, Natasha put on her fluffy grey robe and was about to head to the kitchen when she realized she was still sleepy. In fact, she somehow felt sleepier than when she first woke up. Panicking, the spy ran her tongue over the drops of the water that had remained on the inside of her cheeks. The taste of the water confirmed her fears: she had been drugged!

“Motherfuuuuuuuh...” Natasha slurred our before she passed out. Upon hearing her body hit her bedroom floor, two figures entered her room.

“She’s out,” the first person told their partner.
“Excellent,” the second person replied. “Let’s get her ready.” With that, the pair picked up the unconscious spy and carried her out of the bedroom.

oOo

“Ugh...what happ-goddamnit!”

Having woken up from her drugged stupor, Natasha was able to quickly assess her situation: she was seated on a hard-tiled floor still wearing her robe and pajamas. Her wrists were handcuffed behind her back and her ankles were also cuffed. A knotted cloth cleave gagged her and a black hood covered her head.

“Greetings, Natasha,” a deep distorted voice spoke to her.
“You have been taken to our lair,” a less deep second voice explained, “where you will be tortured beyond belief until you spill every secret about those stupid Avengers!”
“Yea, torture! We’ll tickle your feet with feathers!”
“Ooh, and we’ll shave your head and give you a mohawk!”

“Tickling? Forced haircuts? If these are these idiots’ ideas of torture, then how in the blue hell did they even capture me?!”

“We just need to prepare one more thing,” the first voice told her. “So, just stick tight for a moment. Got it girly?”
“MMPH!”

One of them knelt down and stroked her covered cheek. “Glad you understand,” the second voice told her.

She heard both figures walk away, their feet hitting the tiles as they did. As she listened, Natasha noticed that the two captors weren’t the only ones there; based on all of the shuffling, there were at least ten people there as well.

The spy decided that she’d run out of patience. Luckily for her, her captors hadn’t taken her robe off. See, inside the pocket of her robe was not only a lock pick, but also a tiny pistol.

“Alright, girly, we’re gonna take off your blindfold so you can see who you’re really dealing with. Three...”

Natasha slickly grabbed the lock pick and held them to the cuffs’ hole.

“Two...”

The cuffs became loose.

“One-“

The cuffs suddenly dropped to the floor. Natasha whipped the pistol out and blindly fired several shots.

“Woah, woah, Natasha!” a very familiar voice cried out.

Confused, the spy took the hood off and saw what was going on: she was in the team’s assembly hall and standing in front of her were Clint and Wanda wearing black bands around their necks (voice modulators, she deduced). On the table was a pile of gifts and a cake. Standing to the sides of the room were her (frightened and somewhat horrified) teammates and friends Steve, Bruce, Vision, Peter, Scott, Sam, Tony (who was trying and failing to hold in his laughter), James, T’Challa, Peter and Nick Fury. And to top it all off, hanging on the wall was a giant banner reading “HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATASHA” that was now adorned with numerous bullet holes.

Mortified, Natasha untied her gag. “Look on the bright side, guys,” the spy spoke with a nervous chuckle. “At least you can’t say I wasn’t surprised.”

The End

[Sheriff]

Hahaha!

Normally I’d like to see more tying up going on but I really loved that story. It felt very believable and had some really charm and humour. Super, super job!

[Solarbeast]

I agree with the member above that this was an interesting story.