Zatanna Constantine-ly Getting Saved (M/F)

[TamatoaShiny123]

At two opposite ends of an abandoned warehouse, there stood three people in total.

At one end was a pair of people: Zatanna and the British pain in the Teen Titans’ bums, Mad Mod. But it wasn’t like Zatanna was by Mod’s side by choice; her hands were cuffed behind the back of a metal chair with a metal panel gag over her mouth.

On the other side of the warehouse was John Constantine, a fellow magic user and (if this situation wasn’t already uncomfortable enough for Zee) her ex-boyfriend.

In the middle of the warehouse was a line of robots dressed in redcoats wielding muskets. While they weren’t as big as the robots Mod used during his failed plot to turn Jump City into a twisted version of jolly ol’ Britain (due to some unfortunate budget cuts), they were just as sturdy and just as dangerous.

“Geh ‘im!” Mad Mod ordered his robot army.

The first robot advanced and swung its musket. “This is not how I wanted to spend my Valentines Day,” John shouted to his ex as he ducked.
”Oh, and how would you have spent the day if you weren’t being attacked by robots?” Zatanna telepathically asked him.

John punched the robot right on the nose, denting it. Grabbing the robot by its throat, he hooked its leg with his own, and forced it to the floor. “Probably getting sloshed at the pub.”
”See, this is why we broke up.”

The second robot fired off its musket. Forward-rolling to avoid the blast, the sorcerer lunged forward to grab the rifle from the bot’s hands. “You told me it was because of the cigarettes.”
”My magician outfits kept smelling like smoke, no matter how many deodorant spells I casted on them.”

As John tried to wrestle the musket away, another robot ran towards him. Using his strength, he was able to swing enough so that the musket’s butt slammed into the oncoming robot, knocking it down. Stepping onto the downed bot’s skull, he quickly leapt off of it, using the leverage to rip the musket away from the robot.

“I gotta be honest with ya, Zee,” John confesses as he fired off a shot from his newly-acquired musket into the robot he stole it from’s eye. “I enhanced the cigarettes with some magic so that the smell wouldn’t go away easily.”
”Why would you do that?!”

The sorcerer fired off two more shots, taking down two more robots. “Watching you get more and more annoyed brought me joy. You face when it’s wrinkled with frustration is kinda cute.”
”See, this is why we broke up.”

Three more headshots, three more robots disposed of. “Make up your mind; did we break up because of the alcohol, the cigarettes, or my attitude?”
”Probably a mix of the three, now that I think about it.”

The musket was out of ammo. Frustrated, John smashed the musket over his knee and went back to punching. As she watched her ex turn the rambunctious robots into scrap metal, a thought occurred to her.

”Hey, John.”
“What?”
”Don’t you have, like, magic that could help finish this fight quicker?”
“Sure do.”
”Then why not USE IT?!”
“What? I can’t show off in front of you?”

Zatanna growled. ”Can you do it when there AREN’T guns everywhere and a weird British guy isn’t trying to brainwash me into using my magic for his world domination schemes?!”
“...n-“
”I swear to God, if your answer is no-“
“Ugh, fine! This way is far less fun, just so you know.”

Closing his eyes, John concentrated. Within seconds, the remaining of Mod’s robots were all floating up in the air. Mad Mod looked in horror as, with just a snap of John’s fingers, the robots combusted into pieces, sending gears and bits of metal all over the room.

”That wasn’t so hard, now was it, John?”
“There, I did it. Now, let’s get you out of these cuffs so I can go to the cigarette store. I smoked the last one in the pack on my way to rescue your ass.”

John started to walk up to Zatanna, but Mad Mod, who had been standing forgotten to the side during the brawl, suddenly walked up behind his captive and placed the end of his ruby-tipped cane on her temple.

“Were you telepah’icly tawkin’ to ‘er the enti’ah time? Because I only ‘eard John tawkin’, and it was kawnda odd.”
”It was a personal conversation,” Zatanna told him.
“Yea. Nothing that involved you, ya wanker,” John added.

Mod growled. “Well, your conversations ‘re gonna be a lawt maw ‘arder after I jab my cane into ‘er cranium if you don’t back up, Ducky.”

”John,” Zatanna calmly communicated to her ex, ”thanks so much for the help beating up his robot goons. But I got it from here.”

Suddenly, the cuffs that were around the magician’s wrists fell to the floor. Zatanna’s arms came back to the front of the chair and she grabbed the cane, trying to wrestle the cane from his hands. Mod, in trying to get his cane back, took his eyes off of John, who threw a right hand right at the Brit’s chin.

Dazed, Mad Mod let go of his cane. Standing up, Zatanna threw her arms back and broke the cane over her opponent’s head, causing him to fall to the floor unconscious.

John raised his eyebrow up. “How did you-“
“A magician never reveals their secrets, John,” she chided back as she ripped the panel gag off.
“It was a lock pick, wasn’t it?”

Zatanna nodded and held up the small piece of twisted metal she had used. “Yep. Never leave home without it.”
“Ah. Well, it’s a good thing you were able to use it when you did.”

Zatanna shrugged. “Honestly, I could reach it the entire time. To be honest, I could’ve freed myself and pummeled that creep before you even got here.”
“Why didn’t you?!”

She shrugged again. “What? I can’t show off my escape skills in front of you?”

Satisfied of how well she threw his own words back at him, she smiled a shit-eating grin. “Well, I got to get back to the theater where I’m holding my special Valentines Day magic show. Feel free to drop by after you’re done dropping that jerk off at the police station.” And with an utterance of “retaehT dnE tseW eht ot kcaB”, she was gone.

John sighed as he grabbed Mod and carried him over his shoulder. As he walked, he thought about what a Zatanna said. He supposed that he didn’t have anything else productive to do that day, so he might as well go so her show.

After all, they might serve alcohol at the theater.