Carly Newton: Teenage Detective (?/F)

[TiedOne]

Ever since I was young, I always wanted to be a detective like Nancy Drew. When I turned 17, I started my detective agency.

Most people didn’t treat me with respect like Laura Willis or Jack Ford. But one day, a mystery came knocking at my door. Almost literally. Here’s what happened....

It was around 8am, when I heard a knock on the front door. Usually I wouldn’t answer it unless my parents were home, but I could tell through the door hole that it was my neighbor Andy.

“Carly, I need your help. Someone stole my bike.” This was my call to arms, my first case and I told him “I’ll be right on it.”

I ran upstairs to change. Black T-Shirt, Blue Shorts, and Birkenstocks(I was in a hurry, didn’t really care about practicality). But I hurried to my bike and began the investigation at Andy’s house.

“See it was new bike, red with a silver finish, and I kept it locked with a chain, but look.” He pointed to the chain snapped in half. I took a closer look at the chain. ‘This has to smashed, rather than cut. The severing wasn’t clean.’

Something caught my eye, next to the broken chain was a splotch of mud. Now it hadn’t rained in a while and judging by the positioning, it had to be tracked in. “I believe the culprit had to come from the woods.” Our houses bordered a small wooded area, that ran all way up to the creek.

I voyaged into the woods, soon I saw signs of bike tracks and began to follow. It led me to a tree house, where the tracks ended. ‘Was the tree house the final destination, or did realize they made tracks and decided to carry it away instead ?’

The tree house was old, it appeared to be there for a while. The supports seemed sturdy, so I climbed up. Inside was a bunch of empty soda cans, magazines, and scattered playing cards. The stuff seemed recent but no sign of the bike. However I did pick up a business card which read:

Dencale Diner
-It’s Good Food, For Good Prices-

I made my way down, but once I reached the ground, my eyes were covered by a mysterious figure. I tried to struggle but they were able to secure a blindfold, than they pinned my arms behind my back.

“If you make a sound, it’ll only get worse.” Said a voice, which seemed to artificially low, like someone purposely growling. To prevent any trouble, I remained quiet.

I felt rope begin to tighten around my wrists, the person was really good at tying rope as I couldn’t get my hands the slightest bit free.

“Now move forward.” The figure pushed me a bit. I began to walk. ‘It seems this person was responsible, and trying to get me off the case. If only I could get free.’

The figure stopped me and sat me up against what felt like a tree. “Hold still.” They began to tie my body to the tree, securing my arms and chest to the tree. “You’ll never get away with this. I’m a detective you know.”

My ankles began to be bound. “Well a real detective wouldn’t be tied up, now would they ?” The figure mocked. “I took the bike, and you’ll never get it back. Now just give up on your little adventure and just give up.” I than felt my Birkenstocks being taken off, leaving my feet bare.

The sound of bike leaving, signified that the Figure got away.

“You idiot.” I said to myself. ‘Tied to a tree, how embarrassing.’ I struggled against the ropes. No result, maybe Andy would come and rescue me.

But than I remembered Nancy Drew would always find a way to escape. I began to rub my wrist bindings against the tree. ‘Come on, Carly, you can do this.’

Soon I felt the ropes loosen up. Then I maneuvered my arms to start untying my chest. Thankfully, I was able to get the ropes off. I undid my blindfold, seeing the knot that binded my ankles were in the style of a sailors knot.

After getting untied, I searched for my Birkenstocks. They were thrown into a pit of mud. ‘That’s gross, what a jerk.’ I picked up the muddy, stinky flip flops and walked to my bike, only to find both tires slashed. ‘Just my kind of luck.’

As I walked back dragging my broken bike, I stared at the blindfold, it was like a black flag. I made connections, the culprit has to either be a sailor or work near the docks, and be connected to Dencale Diner. Which was a waterfront restaurant. Now many teens actually worked on the docks, so the culprit could be caught.

When I reached home, I changed my clothes. Into a Red and White striped shirt, Denim jean shorts, and a pair of converse. I repaired my tires and headed down to the docks, I wasn’t gonna give up on this case. I’d find the thief, with all my effort.

I came up with three suspects that not only knew about the bike, but also work near the docks:

David Linville, a recent graduate who’s father is a fisherman.

Sarah Morgan, a senior who is good friends with Andy and works as a busboy at Dencale’s.

And..

Jack Ford, a dockhand, same grade as me and Andy, also my crush.

I had suspects and a greater urge to bust the crook. Nobody ties me up and gets away with it.

To Be Continued...

[OldTUGger]

Nicely told! You're off to a good start with this one.

[Tieup1]

Nice start, seems like a fun story

[Emma]

This is a very good start!

It's concise, well written, realistic dialog, and sounds like what you'd see in a Nancy Drew mystery...which is the icon our heroine strives to be like.

Good job!

[TiedOne]

Part 2:

Before I left, I gave Andy a little remote, and told him to press it, if he got a signal. He nodded and I got on my way.

I hurried down to the dock. The three suspects should be in walking distance of each other. David Linville was my first target. He was a dock, next to his father’s fishing boat.

“Hey, can I ask you a question, Mr. Linville ?” He perked up, a bit confused. “Uh, sure ? What kind of question ?”

I noticed he was tying the boat to the dock. Or more realistically he was “trying” to tie the boat to the dock. As it appeared he had no idea what he was doing. “Where were you earlier today ?”

He responded “Well, I went out fishing, first time driving the boat, but let’s just say I’m far from getting my Sea legs anytime soon.”

It became apparent that it couldn’t be him, he was genuinely incompetent, it also couldn’t have been an act since I could see him fumbling on the ropes before he even noticed me.

Next was Sarah Morgan, she was cleaning a table at the diner, when I approached. “Oh hi, Carly. What you doing around the docks ?” I retorted “Hey, I’m the one who’s gonna be asking the questions, what were you doing earlier today ?”

She sighed. “Well, I had to skin the fish this morning and got a pretty nasty cut on my hand, so that was fun.” She said sarcastically. I noticed a bandage on her hand, with signs of red around it. “Sorry, for disturbing you.”

I headed out of the diner, and searched for the final suspect, Jack Ford. I couldn’t seem to find him, I asked around until one worker said he was working near a boat in the far back.

It was a decent family sized yacht, it must of been his family’s as it’s name was “The Secret Ford”. I took a brief moment. ‘Is this really the best thing to do ?’ I thought before I snuck onto the boat.

I snuck down to the lower level where I saw a bike tire, sticking out from under a cloth. This was the end of the case, Jack stole the bike, I couldn’t believe it. My crush was a criminal. But the evidence was solid.

Than I felt a force push me down to the bottom deck. The door was locked, as I tried to knock against it. The boat than began to move, it rocked me down to the floor as the boat took off.

Not only was Jack a thief but now a kidnapper, I just couldn’t believe it. That was before I heard a murmur from behind me. I looked a saw Jack, tied up and gagged.

“What the hell ?” I ran to ungagged him, he was gagged with his socks. Just before I was able to get the gag out, I felt something sharp pointed against my back. I raised my hands, which they immediately pinned behind my back and tightened with rope. I turned around to see Sarah holding a fishing knife. “Well, you seemed to buy my little story about cutting fish, but it appears it wasn’t enough to get you off the case.”

She then tied me up again, binding my arms to my torso and tying my ankles. I tapped my shoes heel, but she said “Oh, let’s get you properly gagged.” She pulled off my shoes and held my sweaty socks in her hands.

“Why are you doing this ?” She glared at me. “Well, I heard a rumor that Andy’s bike was vintage and that it was also worth a pretty price.” She laughed to herself, “And now, I’ll dump you two off, at the little island, than I’ll be home free.”

She than crammed my socks in my mouth, sealing quickly with duct tape. But sirens echoed down to the deck, Sarah face turned to seer terror as she heard police officers running aboard the ship.

Two officers secured her in hand cuffs and another freed Jack and I. After I was ungagged, I said “Thanks for the rescue, I really didn’t appreciate the taste of stinky socks in my mouth.” Jack laughed. ‘My crush laughed at my jokes, this is so exciting.’

Once we were brought a shore, me and Jack answered questions about Sarah and soon we were on our way. “So, how did the police know where we were ?” He asked.

I pointed to the heel of my shoe. “Tracker from my old iPhone, as I a detective I never know when I’ll be in peril.” He smiled. “Hey, if you don’t mind sometime I’d like to take you to dinner ?” I nearly screamed but to act natural I responded “Sounds good.”

I than returned Andy’s bike, and thanked him for catching the signal. He smiled and asked “Do you think, I could help on the next case ? Sounded like serious work.” I laughed.

“Sure thing Partner.” I gave him a fist bump. For a first adventure, this was pretty wild. But I just hope, the next one will be less eventful. But knowing my luck, it was just gonna get crazier next time.

[gaggednbarefoot]

Love it. Well written, decent pace, spell checked. Socks used as gags leaving victims barefoot. Any criticism? A bit more detail on how Jack and Carly were tied up on the boat, and maybe left to struggle a bit longer before rescue.

[TiedOne]

Love it. Well written, decent pace, spell checked. Socks used as gags leaving victims barefoot. Any criticism? A bit more detail on how Jack and Carly were tied up on the boat, and maybe left to struggle a bit longer before rescue.

Yeah, I’ll admit I wasn’t strong on the ending. I was already working on another Carly Newton Story and sort of had to rush it out. But your advice will be taken in consideration, I’ll make any future stories a bit more engaging towards the endings.

[Tieup1]

I enjoyed reading this story, it was fun, and had some good characters in it. I would have liked it, to have been a bit longer though.

[beeblebrox883]

Really enjoyed the story. Especially the use of sock gags. Keep up the great work

[CapturedCarol]

Fun.

[Reidy]

A really fun, well written tale.

[Emma]

What's nice about this, is it reads less like a bondage story, although there is, in fact, plenty of bondage. You have an actual plot that is completely plausible.

And I do appreciate that the chapters are short. If you're pressed for time, as I often am, a quick read is something of a blessing, lol. And they are chapters; how long the story as a whole ends up is something only you know at the moment!

[RopemanSteve]

I was wondering if anyone had ever posted a nancy Drew type story here, and SHAZAM! here's one!

Great job! Hope she gets in lots and lots of trouble!

[TamatoaShiny123]

I loved the way Carly tracked down the culprit and the sock gag!

[damsel]

I have a new role model!

[The G-Man]

I like your new series here. Nicely paced, and a plausible plot. Any thoughts as to a face-claim for the titular heroine?