kidnapped by Students MM/F

Stories that have little truth to them should go here.
kam128128
Forum Contributer
Forum Contributer
Posts: 2
Joined: 4 years ago

kidnapped by Students MM/F

Post by kam128128 »

Little background i am 25 years old girl who just recently moved to a new city works as a teacher lives alone in a small apartment

chapter 1

Monday Morning 1:20 AM

I was asleep than sound of footsteps outside my room woke me up i decided to look it was pitched black in apartment and the room i turned on the lamp beside me started to walk towards the door as i opened the door someone put the cloth on my month covering my nose it was probably chloroform i was knocked out within 10 sec.

i woke up finding myself in a strange room hogtied lying on a small mattress room was empty other than mattress in the center of the room
i was still in pajamas and barefoot was gagged tightly i decided to test the knots i straggled for hours after 3 hours i gave up knots were tightly secured and were out of my reach at this time i was exhausted i don't know when did i asleep again.

i was awoke by two men standing over one the men took the gagged out of month tbh it was relief i said "Who are you? , why i am here?
let me go untie me" do you remember u Miss Kate? it was sound of my students john and ryan i bet now you feel sorry about giving us F on math don't you Listen boys "i am sorry that you got F on math but i wasn't my fault that you got F u didn't studied enough no personal feelings
now let me go i won't tell anyone about this" hahahaha both started laughing not so soon miss kate this time you need to learn a lesson.
before i could say anything more they gagged me again, see you after 3 hours miss kate said john they walked off leaving me alone in the room hogtied room didn't had much light nor any clock i don't know what time is it nor the day only thing i know was that i feeling thirsty and i can't take this anymore my hands and feets were hurting.
WyattW5
Centennial Club
Centennial Club
Posts: 382
Joined: 5 years ago

Post by WyattW5 »

Not bad but one or two small points. your dialogue is a little confusing. and beings you are doing the story first person should the victim really know exactly how long they have been tied up. it is a good setup just needs a little refinement.
kam128128
Forum Contributer
Forum Contributer
Posts: 2
Joined: 4 years ago

Post by kam128128 »

WyattW5 wrote: 4 years ago Not bad but one or two small points. your dialogue is a little confusing. and beings you are doing the story first person should the victim really know exactly how long they have been tied up. it is a good setup just needs a little refinement.
not a native English speaker it was my first ever story will definitely improve in upcoming parts
thanks for your feedback
User avatar
GagFan96
Centennial Club
Centennial Club
Posts: 156
Joined: 4 years ago
Location: Canada

Post by GagFan96 »

Good premise but it was difficult to read due to the mistakes in grammar and sentence structure.
User avatar
CarouselCowboy13
Centennial Club
Centennial Club
Posts: 382
Joined: 4 years ago
Location: FortWorth,Texas

Post by CarouselCowboy13 »

Good Story and Nice One! For 1st Time writing a Story.
My Dear it's no use to struggle. But I would greatly appreciate it if you, could and would
Kik Username CarouselCowboy15
Discord ID Beetlebailey13#7354
User avatar
Dpsiic
Centennial Club
Centennial Club
Posts: 950
Joined: 5 years ago
Location: London

Post by Dpsiic »

Good story, keep at it.

I understand what others are saying about grammar and sentence structure but to be fair if English isn’t your first language then you have done well. I know I can’t write a story in another language.
User avatar
Tights tights tights
Centennial Club
Centennial Club
Posts: 476
Joined: 6 years ago
Location: Exeter, UK

Post by Tights tights tights »

Great start to the story, can't wait for part 2!
HHHMMMPP mmnnpph mmpph nnnpph hmm hmmm mmmnnn hhhmmhhpp
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic