All tied up at Christmas MF/F

[Stiletto Amore]

A ture(ish) story

One of the great Ward family traditions, besides Dad’s ritualistic burning of the Turkey, is our seasonal Holiday cards. From as far back as I can remember, we’ve always taken a family portrait for use as a Christmas card for close friends and extended members of the clan Ward. Growing up these had always taken the form of simple, wholesome images of the three of us dressed up in our Sunday best, or a matching set of garish looking Christmas sweaters, posed in front of a festive backdrop, however I always longed to experiment with different themes and ideas.

Now, before I go any further there are two things you should know about my family - 1) I am an incorrigible show-off and 2) Getting my Father into a suit was only fractionally easier than giving our out-sized doberman Nancy, a bath.

“Oh come on you two, wouldn’t it be nice to do something different for our Christmas card this year?” I said as I struggled to fasten my Father’s necktie (An almost Sisyphean task due to his incessant squirming and wriggling)


“What’s wrong with a traditional family portrait?” Mum asked, rather pointedly


“Nothing’s wrong with it” I assured her, as I finished straightening Dad’s tie “But I thought it might be fun to try something that looks a little more spontaneous. Something that shows our fun side”


Mum harrumphed in a manner that suggested she was somewhat less than impressed, but Dad seemed cautiously on board.


“What did you have in mind Sam?”



In the end everyone loved my idea, and so it was that twenty minutes later I was sitting, back to back with my Dad - I was dressed in a white, long sleeved blouse with tiny red hearts on, buttoned up at the collar and cuffs and a pair of black trousers and he was (much to his chagrin) still stuffed into his ill-fitting church clothes.


Mom, who was dressed in a rather fetching figure hugging red dress and heels, was brandishing a long string of fairy lights like a lasso.


“Okay, children - put your arms down by your side” She instructed.


We did as we were told and watched as my Mother began to wind the bright green flex around our upper bodies, effectively tying us up.

After several turns Mom performed a loose knot in the lights and plugged the socket in at the wall.


“Now for the moment of truth” She said as she prepared to flip the switch “Any last words?”


We both mumbled something incoherent from behind our bright green tape gags as the fairy lights bathed the room in a brilliant shade of blue.


“Now say Cheese!”


“Chmmphm!"



In the end our card was an unmitigated triumph and much praised within our social circle, even if I do say so myself, so naturally, when December rolled around again, there was an expectation to repeat the success of the previous year.


Despite it being the official start of the holidays I was once again dressed up in my school uniform, complete with pressed blazer and tie, whilst my parents wore matching, red and white Santa costumes.


“Well, it’s certainly going to be different,” Mom said, as I laid out the details of that afternoon's shoot.


“And what’s the storyline?” Dad asked, sounding like a jobbing actor asking the Director (in this case me) about his character's motivation.


“Well the picture is going to be of the two of you tying me to a chair with the caption, “We found a way to stop Samantha opening her presents early this year”


“That is pretty funny” Mom conceded, “But aren’t either of you worried that people will think that this is actually how we discipline our daughter for breaking the rules?”


“Well, strictly speaking, it wouldn’t be the first time, would it?” I pointed out, referring to the time I had broken curfew and spent the next morning tied up in the tool shed.


“Don’t worry” Dad said, in what he hoped was a suitably reassuring tone “I’m sure everyone will know it’s just a joke”


“Okay, I said, putting my hands behind my back and pressing my ankles together, “Who wants to do the honours?”


Of course both of my parents practically fell over themselves in their eagerness to restrain me and I soon found myself wrapped up in bright red duct tape like an Egyptian Mummy - so much so they had to start a new roll to affix each of my ankles to the chair legs.


“Well?” Dad asked, ever eager for praise/ feedback on his tying technique.


“A most commendable job” I said happily “I think I might actually be stuck”


My parents then spent the next fifteen minutes decorating me like a Christmas tree, covering me in various bits of assorted tinsel and a whole row of fairy lights.


“How does it look?” I asked, eager to see.


“It looks like a reindeer has thrown up on your lap” Mom said with a grin “but there’s one thing missing,..”


“A Christmas star?" Dad suggested


“Close, but no cigar” Mom said as she produced a freshly laundered white handkerchief and tied it over the lower half of my face.


“Hmphphmr?” I mumbled


“Much” She replied happily.


“Okay gang!” Dad said as he finished setting the timer on the camera tripod “Say Vegan Cheese!”


“Vegan Cheese!”

“Vegan Cheese!”

“Fmgnn Chmmphm!”

[gaggedrock29]

Great story! I think we'd all love to see one of the finished cards though.

[slackywacky]

Thanks for sharing, great story.

[redtogo]

Great story

[Stiletto Amore]

Great story! I think we'd all love to see one of the finished cards though.

So glad you enjoyed reading about my (modelling) adventures

[Stiletto Amore]

Thanks for sharing, great story.

My pleasure. So glad you enjoyed it

[Stiletto Amore]

Great story

Thank you kindly

[gaggedrock29]

Great story! I think we'd all love to see one of the finished cards though.

So glad you enjoyed reading about my (modelling) adventures

I did. Still waiting to see the finished product though.

[Stiletto Amore]

Great story! I think we'd all love to see one of the finished cards though.

So glad you enjoyed reading about my (modelling) adventures

I did. Still waiting to see the finished product though.

You couldn't possibly afford my modelling rates