Volobond wrote: ↑2 years ago
I wonder if Steven even realizes that...he exists in a quantum state of enjoyment where he's enjoying not enjoying himself. Like consensual non-consent, if you will. Basically, he wants to be pushed past his limits, but the specific limits he wants to be pushed past. It's very confusing to word out but it's simple in my head. Am I making any sense?
[mention]Pup Wingletang[/mention] has typically always been a little ahead of the fray when it comes to understanding character motives and whatnot. And while that hasn't changed, you've really hit the nail on the head here, [mention]Volobond[/mention].
The sad part is that over the years, a fair number of readers have stopped following this adventure, precisely because they failed to grasp the reality of Steven's inner workings. All they saw was a suffering sub who took no pleasure in anything, when in fact that couldn't be further from the truth.
While the ethos of mainstream D/s is wisely geared towards the submissive being in control of any given situation via safewords (which is not a bad thing given the abuse that can happen without such safeguards) there
is in fact a subcategory of subs out there who genuinely yearn for consensual non-consensual. The problem is that the line which separates CNC from abuse/rape is considerably thinner than the one that separates consensual from non-consensual.
The subs that fall in this subcategory more often than not choose to stay silent due to such desires being shunned or met with disapproval in wider BDSM discussion circles.
Those who disapprove of CNC will typically feel very strongly in their disapproval of Nick and grow annoyed and angry with Steven over his tendency to easily forgive what they perceive as wrongdoings. And no, we're not talking about Shawn's blackmail attempts here.
Nick is perhaps the best example of a CNC facilitator. He's often criticised for being an underwhelming communicator, but then there's also the fact that he clearly understands Steven a lot more than some readers are willing to give him credit for. That kidnapping ploy with the gasmasked riot cop uniforms from just a day ago (in the B&G timeline), Nick was totally correct in assuming that Steven would derive immense pleasure from it. After all, he literally
did state he wanted to give his boi a special release. The one miscalculation he made was failing to anticipate that Steven's overactive imagination would conjure up gruesome threats and images of real danger. Were it not for Steven believing that Nick had been hurt/injured/killed, the end result of that evening would've been
very different. Everything that Nick (and Zack) did to him was right up his alley.
The problem with CNC and the reason why it's met with such fierce disdain in wider BDSM circles is precisely due to the thin veil that separates it from non-consensual.
I'll give you an example.
Nick's made it somewhat clear that he plans on keeping Steven as a permanent spouse, and I think few would disagree that his love for Steven is unquestionable at this point. While Nick has shown himself very attentive and proactive in anticipating his boi's needs, it's also become clear that he genuinely does not believe Steven has the right to refuse his advances.
As shown in the chapter following Steven's cold-shoulder/shower scene, Nick is not trying to antagonise his mate, and apparently decided not to cause undue strain on their relationship by claiming Steven on that particular night, most likely due to the coldness that lingered between them. However, as a general rule, Nick considers himself as being the uncontested owner of Steven's body, and as such, doesn't shy away from claiming what he considers his. In his mind, Steven
must make himself available at beck and call.
Here's where it gets messy. Aside from that one incident where Nick forced himself
unlubed on Steven (at the start of the camping trip, following their 4-day separation during the college saga), Steven never once complains about being claimed & taken (occasionally by force) on a near-nightly basis.
Considering how verbose Steven's complaints are about things he doesn't like, one might assume that Nick claiming what he views as his (Steven) falls into the CNC category. Steven basically consents
not to consent, and expresses a certain willingness (as other subs here have) for being plundered and seeded by the man he sees as a potential husband.
Fan of CNC or not, where does one draw the line? If Steven agrees to go along with this, does it make it alright?
This grey area is one such reason why CNC is viewed with great contempt in the BDSM ethos.
It's a touchy subject and one that's not often seriously/believably addressed in works of fiction.
All that to say that your above assessment is very astute and makes a lot of sense.
There are many subs who - when dealing with men they implicitly trust - are completely uninterested in common BDSM lore & holding the keys of power. Normally they choose to remain quiet about it for fear of being called out, either as deviants or as enablers of legitimate abuses.
Definitely a loaded subject.
Bradstick wrote: ↑2 years ago
I also really love how Steven is treated like a real person and how a real person would react entering this situation. That realism is really good for long term stories like this that have been going on for 3 years.
Glad to hear it, buddy-boi. Though you might be surprised to know that B&G has been going on for a lot longer. The first chapter is dated "4 years ago", but that's only because the TUG community (which is over 20 years old now) moved over to this new board four years ago. We had to change hosts and replace the old forum we were all on back in early 2018.
Many of the readers following B&G have been doing so for over a decade.
Steven's adventure has been in production for eleven years so far
A bit like a baby elephant, acting all tough, making himself big, but has no bite at all. So cute!
