Tale of an Archer (M+/F+ F+/F+ F/M m/f f/f), Chapter 38 - Aftermath and Epilogue - 11/24/2022 - Complete

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GreyLord
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Post by GreyLord »

Beaumains wrote: 1 year ago ....
Only, I cannot say I am too happy what is happening. I lost a lot of respect for Jordan for making this move. What is he thinking? He is a man destroyed by grief, depression, and booze. Company does not seem to be the problem: He wants a new Maddie, someone to tie up and have sex with. Someone to physically overpower. Then he chooses a young woman he barely knows and reminds him of his late wife, making him lovesick. He basically kidnaps her and brings her to his glen, a place without any outside interference. That truly sounds like a recipe for disaster.
But consider further, [mention]Beaumains[/mention], while he is a man destroyed as you say, he has very limited knowledge of Bandit culture and no skills with which to evaluate it. He did not choose Muddy as much as she was thrust upon him. He argued unsuccessfully against the kidnapping but was overwhelmed by the Chief and the Elders. Of course he wants a new Maddie. But he has never physically overpowered anyone. I would agree that the potential for disaster here boggles the mind.
Beaumains wrote: 1 year ago And what to think of the Creek? They willingly put Muddy into this position, which could easily end in a painful, violent death for some helpful things. Sure, Muddy is not a part of their tribe, but I had at least expected some of Muddy's friends to protest. They just don't seem to care the slightest. Nor is anyone concerned that Muddy can overpower or kill Jordan in his sleep, costing them their business. I am not sure what gamble they try to make, but it almost seems naive.
I come closer to agreeing with you here. The Creek do not care for non-Creek. Lou Harriman, Fred Kennedy, and now Jordan are the only exceptions to that. That is just the way things are on Newhome.
Beaumains wrote: 1 year ago I get what you are trying to do in this story (give Muddy gradual trust in Jordan), but the point where it starts almost seems too low.
I will have to take that hit. But stay tuned. Much is still ahead.

Thank you for your comments. They have great merit. Very glad to have you posting on this story again.
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Post by Nainur »

Beaumains wrote: 1 year ago ...

Only, I cannot say I am too happy what is happening. I lost a lot of respect for Jordan for making this move. ... That truly sounds like a recipe for disaster.

And what to think of the Creek? They willingly put Muddy into this position, which could easily end in a painful, violent death for some helpful things. ...
I'd like to add to [mention]GreyLord[/mention] 's remarks, if I may.
Your comments and questions have much merit. My reaction is not meant to argue against your points nor to defend the story, but to provide additional explanation.

First of all, when designing the story it was never the intention to produce a perfect scenery. As Greylord replied, Jordan is a desperate, almost broken man. He should have refused and accept consequences, one might argue. However, he did not kidnap her nor demanded her as a prize; his 'crime', if we want to call it thus is he accepted Muddy, making it easy for himself as putting it into a box "Bandit ways". Maybe he can redeem himself.
But even more the Creek were never meant to be 'perfect'.

Of course, it is easy to sympathize with the natives finding themselves threatened by high-tech arrivals (and we know from our history what that can lead to). But they are ready to get rid of a person who was more or less mistreated for years now that Muddy's mere existence caused troubles. To me, in this they prove they are humans - which some Colonist will deny ferverously - for they make errors. Muddy does not care much of the Creek and has reason to, but her views of the world might be put to the test as well.

Indeed, the situation might lead to disaster. Which was exactly the aim here. I hope you stay tuned.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Beaumains wrote: 1 year ago With Muddy and Jordan together, the two story lines seem to be connected.

Only, I cannot say I am too happy what is happening. I lost a lot of respect for Jordan for making this move. What is he thinking? He is a man destroyed by grief, depression, and booze. Company does not seem to be the problem: He wants a new Maddie, someone to tie up and have sex with. Someone to physically overpower. Then he chooses a young woman he barely knows and reminds him of his late wife, making him lovesick. He basically kidnaps her and brings her to his glen, a place without any outside interference. That truly sounds like a recipe for disaster.

And what to think of the Creek? They willingly put Muddy into this position, which could easily end in a painful, violent death for some helpful things. Sure, Muddy is not a part of their tribe, but I had at least expected some of Muddy's friends to protest. They just don't seem to care the slightest. Nor is anyone concerned that Muddy can overpower or kill Jordan in his sleep, costing them their business. I am not sure what gamble they try to make, but it almost seems naive.

I get what you are trying to do in this story (give Muddy gradual trust in Jordan), but the point where it starts almost seems too low.
Not trying to speak for anyone else, but just my 2 cents on some of the points you brought up:

Have to say I don't disagree with the general sentiments, but ultimately I chalked a lot of it up to the 'TUGs tropes' to give more excuses to have people tied, even if it is sometimes a little contrived. Based on the story so far (or at least the characters), it's unlikely it is going to head in an extremely dark direction. Which is why I did not bring it up myself. Perhaps a little bit immersion breaking to see it that way, but there it is.

Very much agree with the point about Muddy's 'friends' (not sure I would say they are that close) and I even mentioned it earlier. I do wonder if they will do something (check up on her at least?).

Have to agree with Nainur's comment about the Creek. They were always painted as fairly insular and specific in their ways, and were willing to basically keep Muddy as a slave for her entire life because of the crimes of her relatives. I do not think they are/were ever intended to be some kind of idealized 'good'. As for her killing Jordan, well the Creek do not actually know of her true feelings, and she has been well behaved for a long time, so they only really expect her to maybe try to run away.

Still, naive of them as you said. But I don't think anyone here is unfamiliar with examples of people not thinking things through in reality either, so I would not say it is unrealistic.

Speaking of all this, going to be interesting to see how the bots interpret the whole messy situation.
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Post by Caesar73 »

First [mention]GreyLord[/mention]: Congratulation, Tale of a Archer hit the 10 K Benchmark!

Have to agree with Nainur's comment about the Creek. They were always painted as fairly insular and specific in their ways, and were willing to basically keep Muddy as a slave for her entire life because of the crimes of her relatives. I do not think they are/were ever intended to be some kind of idealized 'good'. As for her killing Jordan, well the Creek do not actually know of her true feelings, and she has been well behaved for a long time, so they only really expect her to maybe try to run away.
I agree on this. If Jordans and Muddys meeting will lead to disaster remains to be seen. As [mention]Beaumains[/mention] points correctly out, Jordan is a broken character and Muddy bears her burden too. This mixture is explosive true. And one can debate about Jordan´s motives. There is a difference between Jordan and Muddy: Jordan had a choice in the matter, Muddy did not.
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Post by GreyLord »

[mention]TayDay95[/mention], [mention]wolfman[/mention], [mention]slackywacky[/mention], [mention]banshee[/mention], [mention]NotSeen[/mention], [mention]FabianStr2016[/mention], [mention]Red86[/mention], [mention]Boundcurious[/mention], [mention]RopeBunny[/mention], [mention]Damsel-Dilara-Dee[/mention], [mention]Jake78045[/mention], and [mention]Bandit666[/mention]

You have posted comments on one of my stories. That is appreciated very much. Please tell me what you think about the Tale of an Archer. If you would like your tag added or removed from this list, send me a PM or a post with that request.

As a special thank you to [mention]Beaumains,[/mention] [mention[BlissfulMisery,[/mention] [mention]Caesar73,[/mention] and of course [mention]Nainur,[/mention] for your thoughtful and insightful commentary, I am posting Chapter 16 a day earlier than scheduled. I am confidant that I am speaking for [mention]Nainur[/mention] when I say that your response to our story is most exhilarating.

-----

Chapter 16 - Muddy meets Technology (M/F M/FF)
By @GreyLord and @Nainur

Jordan's house was in sight. The horses were acting lively with their return home. Muddy was trotting along beside the wagon with ease. She was panting, naturally, but seemed as fresh now as she did when Jordan put her on the ground. He drove into his barn, unhitched the team, and ensured they had their feed and plenty of water. They had left the Creek village late morning. It was now late afternoon.

Jordan decided that he would leave the unpacking to Joseph and put all of his attention on Muddy for the rest of the day. After releasing the mute, patiently waiting Muddy from the tether attaching her to the wagon, he took her outside and pointed out the four buildings of his homestead. There was the building they had just left, a combination of shed, storeroom, and barn. Plus a large water tower with a big tank. A windmill was on top of the tank. The wind at that location was sufficient to keep the tank filled with water from the well embedded in the aquifer. Jordan pointed out his workshop, the house, and a building he told her was the bathhouse.

To Muddy, these buildings were an amazement. Nothing the Creek had could compare to what she was seeing. She thought, "All of this for one person? There is room in these buildings for half the Creek tribe!"

The bathhouse was where Jordan took Muddy first. Her next big surprise was the electric lights. She jerked. Jordan's portable fusion generator was expected last his lifetime, maybe even two hundred years. By then, the colony should have a technology industry going again even if they don't get back in contact with Earth. Jordan thinks this surprise will pale beside her reaction to the two bots when they return from the mines.

The main room of the bathhouse had a large, deep sink that could be used to wash clothes or to sponge bathe. He still called it a sponge bath from habit even though they didn't have sponges on Newhome, so far, at least. They had to use bath cloths. There were two water tanks. Jordan had the power available but did not have enough motors yet. One tank is for hot water, and the other is for cold. The tanks are raised so the water would flow, forced by gravity.

A lot of things on the plantation were works in progress. In the back of the main room of the bathhouse, Jordan was still working on constructing a cement bathtub in his free moments. There was another door leading to an enclosed walkway to the outhouse facilities. The outhouse can also be entered from the outside, but Jordan had that door locked. He showed Muddy how to use the facility. There was a water tank above the toilet with a cord hanging down so it could be flushed by the person using it. The waste was taken by clay pipe to a septic tank a couple of hundred meters from the homestead.

Muddy's face looked astonished as Jordan showed her the outhouse facility. The concept of plumbing was new to her.

Taking Muddy back to the washroom, Jordan started untying her. Jordan told her, "I will free you so you can use this room and the outhouse. I will give you privacy for this. The only way out right now is the door we used to enter. You could break out of the enclosed walkway, but it would take hours. There are washcloths and towels on the shelf. You should make use of this time."

He discovered that the Creek had a sense of humor while untying Muddy. They had tied her chest harness with loops above, below, and crisscrossing her tits. The knots were tied so that Jordan couldn't undo them and finish freeing Muddy without touching her tits a lot. He only touched as much as required to untie the knots. Muddy looked at him with a bemused expression. When she was free, he went outside and closed the door behind him.

“This place is a frigging palace," thought Muddy when left alone, but she was also amused at the squeamishness of the Colonist. She slipped out of her moccasins and touched the strange floor, made of a kind of stone, but she had no idea what kind. It was cold, but not unpleasant and totally flat and even! At least, some stories she had heard seemed to be true: those Colonists must possess some knowledge of magic, or something nigh on to magic! Gods might perform such tricks, not even speaking about traveling from the stars of the night or—demons. Demons! She was sure that this Colonist was no god, but if he were a demon, he must be a very cunning one. She had always imagined demons would act much differently than he did so far. Maybe he was just a man.

A strange man, for sure. Muddy was astonished, indeed, that she hadn't been ravished already. She could not have defended herself as she had been tied up and helpless and wouldn't have anyway, probably, even if she could. She had had two brief, say meetings, behind some bushes a few months back with a young male Creek, disappointing all in all. But she had gotten a reasonably good idea of the concept of human breeding and was not adverse to it. Indeed, it had been Tommy's friend, Sammy. She had dreamt at night that she and Sammy could live on this Colonist's star, so far away. But that was nonsense. She was here on Creek territory, not on a star! She had a fair idea in which direction this big dwelling of the Colonists was and was sure on which hill the Creek had set a watch to give a fair warning should the Colonists dare to attack. She knew where the river was and had been told that soon after passing the Colonists' home, the woods would terminate, and an open plain began. That limited her directions to run. She needed to find out more about these wood-covered hills…

Muddy found out she had stopped her movements while thinking and shook her head. That was bizarre behavior for herself! She turned her concentration on those facilities. Now, what did he say about…?

Quite a while later, Jordan Archer could hear her banging on the door. Muddy seemed to have learned how to use the water supply. She had even splashed and spilled some but used the towels not only to dry herself but to clean the place. She had never been averse to being dirty or dirty work, but she had , despite her name-giving behavior, never considered this the best thing in life either. Sheilah had been right. Muddy had been dirty on purpose, wanting to be as unattractive and undesirable as possible in the village. But not now, not here in this place. It would have been absurd in these surroundings. And it was just too tempting! She had smiled over herself: had she not scowled at those miserable Creeks cueing up for superfluous things like wooden cabinets? And here she was enjoying a plethora of hot water!

She had redressed in her buckskin dress, for she had never possessed more than one dress. She was intrigued about what would happen next. When the door opened, she had her chin up, and her eyes conveyed a challenge, like, what next, Colonist? He might bind her. He would do it clumsily, for sure. But if he did that, how could she work? For she was used to working and to working hard, too. Or was the only idea behind it just lust?

Jordan grinned at Muddy, "Did you find everything you needed? While you are with me, you should tell me about anything you need, and I will see what I can do to get it for you. Now, turn around so that I can tie you up again."

He tied her wrists behind her back in a simple two-column tie, cinched. Muddy was surprised. The Colonist did not do this poorly at all! Then he took her arm and led her to the main house. Jordan would show her the workshop tomorrow. Walking to the house, he told her, "tomorrow, we will see about getting you some more clothes. For now, you will get to see where we live." they were on a covered, but not enclosed, walkway from the bathhouse to the back door of Jordan's home.

Jordan opened the back door and gestured for Muddy to enter first. It was getting to be late in the afternoon, and the shadows outside were getting long. When Muddy walked into the house, the indoor lighting came on automatically. It was an amazement enough to Muddy to have lighting without candles or an oil lamp. To have it come on by itself was beyond comprehension. She had entered the great room, a combination sitting room and kitchen. It was large by Earth standards, where the population had caused great crowding, and by Bandit standards, where they did not possess advanced building skills.

Jordan signaled Jeeves with his embedded comm link to secure the house. Turning to Muddy, he told her to turn around, and then he untied her.

Muddy had not felt inclined to comment on Jordan's offer to fill her needs, being too busy soaking in the surroundings. It was quite impressive, and under her attempts to keep her composure, she was pretty impressed. This was nigh-on magic to her. Click-click-click, she heard. Her head jerked up slightly. She had Bandit ears, undamaged by loud music the whole day or other disturbances. Muddy was still a savage living in nature, and she could hear very well. All those little clicking sounds around her could mean only one thing. This 'hut' was now shut and locked. And that she was being freed told her the rest. She would test it, but this strange 'hut' had been closed. Yes: it's a kind of magic. She would test it carefully, but she was reasonably sure about the result.

After a long look around, she turned to her what? host? master? chief? owner? "This is an awesome place. Water is appearing from nowhere, so I won't be needed to fetch more. Neither I have seen a field to work in. The place needs not much cleaning, as I can see it. So, what do you want me to do? I am a good, plain cook, but I doubt I can handle it here if the kitchen is like that washing place. So, what?" Again that challenge was in her eyes. "Undress?" She thought. In her mind, it was a worthy question. She was used to working from sunrise to sunset and many a day even more. She could not see that here. No cattle to take care of, no crop to harvest, not even a garden with plants and herbs to prune. Obviously, she was not here to work. That could mean only one thing. Muddy did not care too much about it. She had no intention of being Shordan Archah's, or anyone else's, sex toy. At least not a moment longer than necessary.

Jordan could see that Muddy’s introduction to technology was raising questions in her mind about her future role here. He would have to continue exposing her to his environment and what she could do to help him. But this would take time.

It was time to fix the evening meal. Jordan gestured for Muddy to follow him to the kitchen part of the great room. There, he told Jeeves, “Prepare a meal for two. We will have sirloin cooked medium, baked potato with butter and sour cream, green beans, and a tossed salad.” In minutes, the meal would be ready for us.

He told Muddy, “I have selected medium for your steak. The steak is from Earth cattle. You will not have tasted anything like it before.” A mechanical arm carried the plates and utensils to the kitchen table. He had wondered about letting Muddy have a steak knife tonight. But she needed one for the steak.

Muddy thought, "This is positively, totally weird!" Aloud, "Is there somebody hidden in there?" Muddy asked, unable to move, being almost shock frozen.

Jordan replied, "No, Muddy, we call this technology on Earth. It is all invented by people. You will have many new things to learn. You will have to learn how to use technology, if not the technology itself. Now come and enjoy your meal. I think this will be something entirely new for you."

Muddy moved carefully sideways, squinting, just like someone who would walk away from a barking bulldog held in place by a mere thin cord with an owner muttering soothingly, "good doggy...never biting anyone!" Yeah, sure. Tekk-now-logee. She had never heard such a word. And the Colonist had still not answered her question. Thus her distrust and confusion increased every minute. Why should she learn about these things? Did he expect her to stay here forever? By nature, she was wroth to open her mind up. Also, she was used to sitting on the floor or on a kind of cushion. Still, she had already seen something similar to those chairs at the table in the village, and it was not difficult to figure out that she was expected to sit on such a thing. This she did, but it felt strange, and because she was short, her feet almost lost contact with the floor.
,
She sniffed. The smell was jolly good. She looked down. The plate was not of wood. Very curious! There was a strange knife and a spoon, but why there was a miniature fork? A big one she could handle to clear away cattle dung. But she had no idea what this was good for.
She shrugged her shoulders and muttered a short prayer to the beast that gave its life for this meal. And to the Spirits who provided the meal. Almost every Creek used those phrases daily, and Jordan had heard them often enough to recognize them. Then she grabbed the knife to cut off a piece of the meat and used her other hand to keep it in place.

“Muddy, try cutting your meat like this," Jordan showed her how to hold the meat with the fork and cut a piece of meat. Then he cut the piece into bite-sized portions. He put the knife down and used the fork to place a bite of the meat in his mouth." This would give me a hint at how hard a job it would be to train Muddy,

Muddy heard some say once, no pain, no gain! She looked at Jordan's plate, then up to his face and down again, watching closely, frowning. "No, that's no joke," she thought, "was it? He wants me to use a fork? What's wrong with fingers?" Muddy picked up the fork, turned it around, and almost stabbed the meat before cutting it. "This is an excellent knife," she spoke while munching on the morsel. And marvelous meat, also!" By habit, she ate rather quickly. Usually, she was in a hurry, back in the village. She would never say the Creek did not feed her decently, but never the most delicate cut like this. And she was always busy, like during the recent Final Courtship ceremony. Therefore, Muddy emptied her plate in record time and would not stop before completing her task. But she would not forget where the knife had been stored. Excellent for cutting a throat. She smiled at this thought.

Jordan continued eating his meal at his usual pace. Muddy was eating as fast as she could. He expected that being hostage with the Creek had made that necessary.

“If you eat more slowly, you will enjoy it much more. Maybe you will try that sometime." Pointing out the butter dish, I said, "This is called butter. It goes very well with the baked potato." Jordan demonstrated cutting open his potato and slitting the two halves to hold melted butter using his table knife. Then he cut a good chunk of the butter wedge and placed it on the edge of his plate. Still using the table knife, Jordan put half of the butter on his plate on one-half potato and half on the other, spreading it up and down the potato. He added salt and pepper from the shakers on the table, cautioning Muddy that a little bit was good, but too much was not good.

Muddy had almost finished when all this was revealed. "Humph." A little? Probably it was costly, and therefore she should use it as he had demonstrated. Hesitatingly, she used her last piece of potato and spread butter on it. Munch. Okay, this had been worth a try. With extreme care, she turned to those shakers and frowned at them before she added a tiny bit of salt and pepper. Munch. Even better! She applied these interesting spices more and more, throwing caution into the wind.

She was a bandit by heart and could eat whatever! Munch. "Wha-? Chhrrrrmm cough-cough." Wide-eyed and dark-faced, she wanted to spit this final piece out of her mouth, but that meant defeat! "Cough!" Her eyes were watering now as well. She swallowed with some effort. Almost hastily, she turned to the water and drank, spilling some in her rush. She pushed the evil shakers away. Her plate was empty, anyway.

Frowning at the man on the other side of the table, she watched him obviously enjoying his meal. She still had nothing to do. This was very confusing. She was totally unused to having nothing to do. Suddenly, she stood up. She knew nothing of table manners, Colonist-style, of course, and carried her plate to the kitchen sink. Muddy hoped the magic water would appear here as well?

Muddy didn't know what to do with herself, Jordan observed to himself, watching her poking around the great room while he finished his meal at leisure. As it was his habit to listen to music before going to bed, he went to the den part of the room and called Muddy to join him.

“We will relax in these easy chairs and listen to music before bedtime. I try to do this every night. Try to relax and just listen to this one piece. It is named Bolero and was written by a man named Maurice Ravel. It will last about a quarter of an hour."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy5Ve3338-E
Bolero - The Danish National Radio Symphony Orchestra conducted by Celibidache at a concert from 1971

Muddy was utterly perplexed by now. She nodded and slipped out of her moccasins. She preferred to choose a spot on the rug, and when Jordan did not object, she sat on her heels. The strange music caught her after a while, and she sat still with eyes closed. Her body swung to the rhythm, and sometimes her arms spread out. This was a spiritual melody, and she did not care if it would bewitch it. The Spirits would take care of her.

“Muddy, I hope you enjoyed our supper and the music afterward. You look like you liked the music," Jordan said.

Jordan thought he was seeing the real woman behind her mask for the first time. She replied, "I did not dream that something like that could exist." But her mood had gone, and she looked at him with a blank expression again.

“Tomorrow, you will be getting more choices. But tonight, you must learn I can be as strict as necessary. It is time to go to bed. You know where the bedroom is. Go ahead of me into the bedroom."

In the bedroom, I told her, "It is your duty to submit to me. That submission will take some different forms. You know that you will have to work. You will submit to my work orders. The work will usually differ from anything you have done before now, but I expect you to perform your tasks to the best of your ability. Part of your work will be to take care of yourself and your appearance. You will dress or undress, as I say and when I say.

“There will be sexual submission too, and I am sure that is something you expect. Again, you will do your best to please me. But that will not start tonight. Possibly tomorrow, it will begin. Or perhaps it will be even later. It will depend on how I feel about it.

“A third submission will be that you must learn new things. You may not like everything you come to understand, but you will learn it anyway. I believe that you will see value in that as time goes by.

“A fourth submission will be that you accept any punishment I give you. Even if you do not think you deserve it, you will still accept it without hesitation. If you feel you deserve it, you should suggest the punishment to me.

“And you will submit to bondage. That could be a punishment or a part of a punishment. It could also be as simple as a security need. And frequently, it will be because I enjoy tying you up and having you tied up. "Is there anything that you would like to say about this?"

Muddy nodded one time each when for each order. Finally! This was something she was used to. She was used to getting pushed around. This was more familiar now. She would run, that was certain, but she knew she had better prepare it carefully. It was only some more ordeals.

When she was a child freshly picked up by the Creeks in the swamp, she was convinced her parents were just roaming, high-spirited heroes who preferred to take what they wanted and not to work for it, not low-life thieves like the Creek thought they were. She was convinced her parents would come back to rescue her. When they never came, she believed they had been killed. She ran away two or three times. The last time she did it, predator animals had nearly hunted her down, and she had to wait ignominiously high up in a tree until some Creek hunters came to rescue her. She then decided to stay with the Creek for a while, and years passed. She plotted much but never was satisfied enough to try a scheme. She even thought she might stay with the Creek and settle down. But when she grew up, she had to accept that the poorest Creek boy thought she was far below him. And she became restless again. Now she was here, and in her heart, she believed herself to be a bandit like her parents. And she would live and die free in the hills or on the plains. But for now, she had to stay and learn. And to lure him into false security.

“Only one question!" she replied after a few seconds and simply opened her dress and let it fall down. Her body was more on the petite side but a sight to behold. Jordan Archer had already noticed her nice cleavage, but she was also slim. Very slim. Because of the work and just getting enough food to stay healthy and to work hard, there was not one iota fat on her. She looked up with a naive, innocent face and asked, "Where shall I sleep?"

-----

Angela, Tommy, and Sheilah were meeting at the river. It was Tommy's turn to be top, and he had the two women bound in a ball tie. Their hands and elbows were bound behind their backs, and their legs were frog-tied. Then with their knees pulled up to their tits, their legs were tied tightly to their torsos. They had been well gagged with mouth-filling packing. Tommy said to them, "It isn't the same with Muddy gone. You didn't have any choice in preparing her for transport. I suspect that you didn't like doing that to her."

Tommy knelt beside the women and removed their gags. When he had done that, he sat close to them and said, "I will miss little Muddy. She never realized what a force she was. My instinct tells me that Shordan Archah is a kind man who will treat her well. She may be better off with him than she was with us Creek. What do you think?"

“You may be right, Tommy,” Angela answered. “But it is breaking my heart. And, yes, I think that he will treat her very well. He had better. I am in his debt for my crossbow, but if he harms her, I am going after him.”

Sheilah spoke with tears in her eyes, “Muddy was like a big sister to me. I will be with you if you go after him, Angela.”
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BlissfulMisery
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Well, to say it right off the bat, relating to the earlier conversation, I think this chapter won't assuage any concerns about what Jordan might end up doing. Certainly an unsettling vibe, and he seems way too eager to just jump into something without even considering the other person's feelings.

On a separate topic, I have a feeling this was the quote you had in mind when writing this chapter:

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -Arthur C. Clarke

Perhaps maybe a little overdone in that regard, and does bring up uneasy tropes about 'White man civilizes savage native woman', but it is difficult to imagine this situation without some element of that, uneasy as it may be.

Kind of surprising they have actual steak in storage still, without shipments from Earth, but maybe he was saving it for a special occasion.

Either way, tense/ominous is probably a good description of the chapter.

Might have more to say later, but this seems enough for the moment.
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Post by Caesar73 »

What I really liked was to read how Muddy experiences the new world she is introducted to. What she feels, what she thinks. The world she now lifes in, is so very different from the world she knows: The concept of plumbing, technology. A scene which is very illuminating is the dinner she has with Jordan: To eat with knife and fork, to enjoy a meal just for itself is new for Muddy. Also interesting how she reacts to the music, it seems to fascinate her - with good reason: To escape the magic of the Bolero, its almost hypnotic rhythm is almost impossible.

But then a change: When Jordan explains the rules in the Bedroom. While it seems that Muddy seems not taken aback by the rules, these rules Jordan formulates are in some ways contradictory to what he says before. One could say, that as soon, as she crosses the threshold of the bedroom, Muddy is a slave. Reminds me of some stories about the Old South, before the Civil War.

That is just an observation of course.
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Post by Nainur »

Caesar73 wrote: 1 year ago ...
That is just an observation of course.
And I, for one, would not argue with it!
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Post by GreyLord »

[mention]Caesar73[/mention], I must take exception to one minor item, your reference to the Civil War. It is properly call The War of Northern Agression.
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Post by Caesar73 »

Dear [mention]GreyLord[/mention] my Excuse maybe my European Perspective :) From my readings about this conflict, I know, that the "Civil War" sparks fiery discussions among Americans to this day :) If I remember correctly, it was General Jubal Early who coined the phrase of the "Lost Cause" Just teasing here :) We can pursue this line of conversation in private :)
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Post by GreyLord »

No problem, [mention]Caesar73[/mention]. 8-) Our problems today so overshadow those old problems that they are not worth mentioning, except as a joke.
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Post by Beaumains »

A well-written, clear chapter that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I gotta agree with Caesar: This chapter reminds me of the darker acts of humanity and is far removed from what I enjoy to read. If Jordan would continue with his plan, I doubt I would continue to read. I will also remind you that certain topics, like rape glorification, are banned on this site. If Jordan and Muddy have sex now, it will be hard to call it consensual, and it does not seem like Jordan will be portrayed as a villain soon.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Well I did say I might say more, and [mention]Beaumains[/mention] comment sort of gave me the push I probably needed to do so.

Just going to apologize in advance, this is going to be rambly (not a real word but whatever), and frankly I am not even sure myself who or what any of this is entirely aimed at, these are just things I feel need to be said, for posterity if nothing else. None of this intended as a personal attack on anyone.

To try to start at the beginning:

What is Dominance/Submission at its core?

It is a consensual power exchange between two (sometimes more) people. The first key word here is 'exchange'. Power is GIVEN, not taken. Given also implies that the submissive has power to give in the first place, not that they are powerless or reliant on the other person. There is WAY more to say about this, but I will keep it brief with that summary.

The second key word is of course 'consensual'. If there is not clear consent (silent acceptance is not consent), then it is an abusive/problematic relationship.

Now why does any of this matter?

I think it is pretty clear to anyone that what is happening between Jordan and Muddy breaks both those principles. Now, the OBVIOUS counter-arguments (that have generally already been made in various ways) are:

-This is not intended to be an idealized relationship

Rebuttal: Sure (and certainly it is not unrealistic for bad relationships to exist), but based on the foreshadowing and Jordan's character as depicted before this, he is supposed to be, if not a 'good guy' then at least relatable and someone the reader is generally intended to sympathize with. It is pretty hard to do that when he straight up is hitting basically every single red flag possible in a relationship (entrapping, setting boundaries without consent ect ect). Frankly most people in Muddy's position would be looking to escape and/or kill Jordan, and I do not think anyone would blame them.

-This is fantasy so there is more wiggle room since real people are not being hurt

Rebuttal: It is hard to argue against this directly, because it is sort of a vague blanket argument, but I would point out two things: The fiction we consume generally does tend to influence us, and in general it is a bit problematic to romanticize abusive relationships as it normalizes something that should not be normalized. To be fair there are million examples of this in media, but the mere quantity of it does not make it 'okay'.

-Jordan is grieving and therefore is acting out of character/erratically

Rebuttal: Again, sure, and it is not unrealistic. But then you cannot really make him the intended target of the reader's sympathy. Doing bad things for 'understandable reasons' does not make them not bad things, or somehow justify them morally.

-Jordan is 'taking care of' Muddy or 'giving her a better life then she had before'

Rebuttal: I'll be honest this one specifically bothers me the most. Right off the bat it echoes the self-serving logic of slaveowners (Well I am providing them with food/shelter/taking care of them). Also, this implies Muddy is incapable of taking care of herself, and based on her characterization so far, I think that would be a stretch, and she would be completely fine on her own. It is infantilizing her, and frankly reads like 'Look here is a 'strong independent woman' but she still needs man to care for her because she is apparently incompetent'. It is the Schrodinger's strong female character essentially, which at the very least/at best is inconsistent writing/characterization.

Ultimately if Jordan really wanted to give Muddy a 'better life then she had before' he would let her go free. Yeah her life with the Creek was not amazing, but going from being a slave to being a slave in a gilded cage is not much of an improvement, and more importantly, he is capable of doing better then that.

Also it is a little hard to argue he is really deeply interested in her well being, when so far his main interest in her basically seems to be that she is attractive/looks like his dead wife, and rape is straight up implied (again, forcing someone to 'submit' is not consent and silent acceptance of a situation one is forced into against their will is also not consent).

'Caring for' someone in the context of a romantic relationship is not just giving them nice food or a nice house to live in, it is actually caring about the person's emotional well being, fulfilling more then merely their most basic physical needs. It is putting their needs above one's own* (at least to some extent, obviously one should not sacrifice themselves entirely as relationships go both ways, but that is a whole other topic), not merely using them to fulfill whatever desires or needs you have while paying lip service to them by claiming to give a damn. Again sure, those kinds of situations are nowhere near unrealistic, but they certainly are not very romantic or sympathetic, and yet that is the angle this story seems to be going for. It is just the wrong way to do this IMHO.

*This applies to D/S relationships for both parties too, even if it seems a bit paradoxical at first glance, but I will not go into detail on that for length reasons, so I will leave it with this footnote.

What also does not help is that even the story itself only seems to be paying lip service to this. Jordan initially implies during the ride home Muddy is going to have a lot of freedom, but then almost immediately seems to go back on that. So is this just inconsistency? Did Jordan change his mind? He claims he is going to follow Creek customs, but 'give her choices when possible. First of all, he does not even know Creek customs, but even if he did, Creek customs involve courtship ect, not merely a man forcing a woman to submit to him because he said so. At best this is just inconsistent writing, at worst, Jordan is being manipulative on purpose (the typical abuser gaslighting/two-faced stuff that I think most people are familiar with).

And finally, although this is almost tangential: In the context of the actual story world itself, what Jordan is doing is VERY stupid. It is implied that supposedly he wants an actual wife/partner not just a slave. So what does he do? First day he straight up says 'I am going to have sex with you against your will' plus a bunch of other stuff. Okay? Grieving or not, is he really that stupid? He knows some fragments of Bandit culture and thinks this is going to somehow work, despite actually having been in a real relationship before, and therefore supposedly understanding how it works? This could MAYBE be excused if he had never been in a relationship before (well not excused, but understandable at least, even if it would still be wrong), but suddenly his wife died and he just threw everything he knew about relationships out the window and decided, 'Nah I am just going order women to submit to me', and I guess that will work out somehow? There is grief, and there is a character apparently just going insane or something because it makes no sense.

Like I just cannot understand his actions, he cannot believe that this is the best way to accomplish what he supposedly wants, which to me, the reader, implies that either what he wants is not what I think he wants (ie a partner, submissive, but still a partner), or I am just confused/stupid.

Ultimately I 'get' what the story is trying to do/where it is trying to go, but I feel like the starting point that was chosen just undermines the whole intention. Jordan and Muddy's relationship is growing on poisoned soil. This could have been done 'better'; you can have a relationship where two people are forced together by circumstance, and slowly grow together despite maybe not liking each other at the start. But starting it off from 'one person is basically sold into sexual slavery to the other and hates it/them' is a little.... problematic.

Anyways, I know I said a lot of very critical things. I am sorry, and I know what I said will probably piss a lot of people off for various reasons. I do not mean to insult or belittle. I also do not mean to dictate what anyone can or cannot write in their own fiction, or try to force them to change anything, or play some kind of 'morality police' (that would definitely be hypocritical I think). I just felt like some of this needed to be clearly said (again, not sure exactly for whom), and so I did.

Anyways, bowing out as I see little point of adding more words to this wall of text gunking up the thread. :|
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Post by GreyLord »

Hi [mention]Beaumains[/mention]. I would like to assure you that when our pair get to the point of having sex, it will be consensual. If I am giving too much away saying that, it is worth it to put your mind at ease. And no, Jordan will not be portrayed as a villain because he is not. The story calls for this darker segment to set up what is to come and I hope that you can accept that it is my lack of skill as an author that is causing your present opinion. It will pass.
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Post by Nainur »

GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago Hi @Beaumains. I would like to assure you that when our pair get to the point of having sex, it will be consensual. If I am giving too much away saying that, it is worth it to put your mind at ease. And no, Jordan will not be portrayed as a villain because he is not. The story calls for this darker segment to set up what is to come and I hope that you can accept that it is my lack of skill as an author that is causing your present opinion. It will pass.
Seconded.
Additionally I like to point to the fact, that Muddy has her plans as well. Core of her scheme is to appear docile and naive - she knows exactly what she does when she asks "Where shall I sleep?". She's running a risk and no doubt: it would be rape nevertheless. The next chapter will show what happens, and maybe Muddy will alter her plans acording to situations to come, but she won't be a victim and if so, not for long.

Also: I would never contribute a story glorifying rape.
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Post by GreyLord »

You raise many valid points, [mention]BlissfulMissery[/mention]. I will make no attempt here to address either the points of agreement or disagreement here. Although I will be happy to discuss details by PM.

First, I would like to state that the next five chapters have been written well prior to the recent criticisms and have not been modified because of comments.

Next, I would like to address the current status of things from Jordan Archer’s perspective, as I see it. While he is healing, he is still a broken man at this point. He world has been turned upside down. Yes, he still gets limited support from Unihold but no one else in the Colony. Unihold has connected him to the Creek. He has limited knowledge of the Creek and that was romanticized by his ex wife.

In his broken condition, he was besieged by a one day whirlwind from Chief Samuel to take Muddy. He proposed a way that he would like to do that but was soundly rejected by the Elders. He was given essentially a take it or leave it deal. He takes the deal and is proceeding according to his limited understanding of the Creek customs.

No, Muddy is certainly not in a consensual D/S relationship. In the year and a half that I have been reading on this site, non consensual bondage is not an uncommon thing. But, I would expect that Jordan would do what you suggest and give Muddy her freedom without the intervention of events to come. You will see, should you keep reading this story, events change significantly over the next three chapters.

I certainly do not want to lose you or [mention]Beaumains[/mention] as readers. You both make wonderful contributions with your comments. But if the story does not have sufficient promise to keep you reading through a dark interlude of the story, it is your right to do as you wish.
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Post by Beaumains »

I get were you are coming from. I think the main concern were sentences like
GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago He discovered that the Creek had a sense of humor while untying Muddy. They had tied her chest harness with loops above, below, and crisscrossing her tits. The knots were tied so that Jordan couldn't undo them and finish freeing Muddy without touching her tits a lot.
GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago You will dress or undress, as I say and when I say.
GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago There will be sexual submission too, and I am sure that is something you expect.
were the latter one sounds like "we are going to have sex, whether you like it or not."
GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago In the year and a half that I have been reading on this site, non consensual bondage is not an uncommon thing.
non-consensual bondage comes in many forms, some far worse than others. If there is no sex involved, a clear bad guy, a game with predetermined rules, or the author clearly denounces the act, the topic get loss less taboo (here). Having someone as a non-consensual bondage-sex doll is completely different than a sibling who takes revenge for loud music.

Somehow, I feared the story would lead to Muddy and Jordan having sex, clearly against Muddy's wishes, but the writer would excuse it somehow. Jordan being a broken man who would never do this in real life is a toxic reason and does not justify it. Just like claiming that he deserves it after all bad things that happened to him. Although you claimed this story has no historical basis, there are (sick) people who fetishize certain acts from the past, including (the US historical form of) slavery and teaching native Americans to be civilized.

Moreover, the two are in two different stages of life. Maddy and Jordan have about the same age, and Maddy has a doctorate while Muddy is barely of age. An age difference is another ingredient for an already unhealthy mix.

There wer just too many 'red flags' for me not to comment about this.
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Post by Nainur »

Beaumains wrote: 1 year ago
...

There wer just too many 'red flags' for me not to comment about this.
Which is a proper thing to do, without a shadow of a doubt. But, please, remember it is based on a RP. These parts were part of the RP, but the limits had been staked well before and believe me: I do not play 'rape', for rape is no 'play', but a vicious crime.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago
Next, I would like to address the current status of things from Jordan Archer’s perspective, as I see it. While he is healing, he is still a broken man at this point. He world has been turned upside down. Yes, he still gets limited support from Unihold but no one else in the Colony. Unihold has connected him to the Creek. He has limited knowledge of the Creek and that was romanticized by his ex wife.

In his broken condition, he was besieged by a one day whirlwind from Chief Samuel to take Muddy. He proposed a way that he would like to do that but was soundly rejected by the Elders. He was given essentially a take it or leave it deal. He takes the deal and is proceeding according to his limited understanding of the Creek customs.

No, Muddy is certainly not in a consensual D/S relationship. In the year and a half that I have been reading on this site, non consensual bondage is not an uncommon thing. But, I would expect that Jordan would do what you suggest and give Muddy her freedom without the intervention of events to come. You will see, should you keep reading this story, events change significantly over the next three chapters.
Again, then I have to point to the fact that his apparent 'plan' is crazy and he should know that. What he did the the literal opposite of what he should have done, and it is so far out of character/out of basic logic (and he has enough experience to know better, even if he is upset) that it stretches credibility.

As for non-con bondage, or non-con in erotica in general, yeah it is certainly not uncommon. But as I said, something being common does not make it fine. Plenty of horrible things were/are common in society, it does not make them right (although I will admit maybe that is a bit overstating the problem by making an over the top comparison, I do not mean to say real problems in society are equal to problems in fiction).

And ultimately, as expressed, the problem is not the non-con nature per say, it is the framing of it. I have seen way too much stuff in fiction before that basically reads as straight up rape apologism (to be clear, talking about those specific fictional stories, not accusing anyone here of doing that), with the worst excuses possible, and the trajectory of this story/what Jordan said was kind of headed in that direction. Things like this have eaten at me before and I could not hold my tongue.

Sorry if it seems a bit of an out of nowhere over the top reaction.
Beaumains wrote: 1 year ago
Somehow, I feared the story would lead to Muddy and Jordan having sex, clearly against Muddy's wishes, but the writer would excuse it somehow. Jordan being a broken man who would never do this in real life is a toxic reason and does not justify it. Just like claiming that he deserves it after all bad things that happened to him. Although you claimed this story has no historical basis, there are (sick) people who fetishize certain acts from the past, including (the US historical form of) slavery and teaching native Americans to be civilized.

Moreover, the two are in two different stages of life. Maddy and Jordan have about the same age, and Maddy has a doctorate while Muddy is barely of age. An age difference is another ingredient for an already unhealthy mix.

There wer just too many 'red flags' for me not to comment about this.
Pretty much this.
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Post by GreyLord »

[mention]TayDay95[/mention], [mention]Caesar73[/mention], [mention]wolfman[/mention], [mention]Beaumains[/mention], [mention]slackywacky[/mention], [mention]banshee[/mention], [mention]NotSeen[/mention], [mention]FabianStr2016[/mention], [mention]Red86[/mention], [mention]Boundcurious[/mention], [mention]Nainur[/mention], [mention]RopeBunny[/mention], [mention]Damsel-Dilara-Dee[/mention], [mention]Jake78045[/mention], and [mention]Bandit666[/mention]

You have posted comments on one of my stories. That is appreciated very much. Please tell me what you think about the Tale of an Archer. If you would like your tag added or removed from this list, send me a PM or a post with that request.

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Chapter 17 - Jordan shows Muddy the Workshop
By @GreyLord and @Nainur

Muddy had just removed her dress. For a hundred heartbeats, Jordan admired her beautiful body. She had pert tits on a prominent rib cage. Her belly was concave. He didn't think the Creeks would starve her, but they sure hadn't overfed her either. And a seven-out-of-seven-days work schedule made it difficult to gain weight as well. "Turn around and cross your wrists behind your back. Hold your arms off of your back."

With very light rope, he took two horizontal turns around her wrists. He followed with two turns perpendicular to the first two. Then two turns between her arms, cinching everything he had done so far. He knotted his tie at the top of her wrists.

Next, he took a slightly heavier rope and looped it around her arms just above her elbows. He put enough pressure on her arms that she would know the rope was there but light enough that it should not be a problem for Muddy to be tied that way for the entire night. He cinched her elbow tie, so the rope between her elbows looked like one big, braided rope.

“Lay down on the bed, on your belly." She did, and Jordan tied her legs in three places; above her knees, below her knees, and her ankles. As with her wrists and elbows, he tied her firmly but not overly tight. When he finished, he bent her feet close to her butt and lashed her ankles to her upper thighs.

Then, he doubled a rope and formed a lark’s head noose connecting Muddy's ankles and wrists. Jordan pulled it tight enough to anchor her hands at her butt and tied it off. If she relaxed, the ropes should only strain her slightly and not be painful. His last step was to stuff a scarf in her mouth and tie it in place with a bandanna. Checking all the bindings, he ensured she could not escape, and none were restricting her circulation.

Muddy was surprised. Doubly so. Or even thrice. The Colonist did not jump on her to have his fun. She would not have minded too much if he did – he was handsome enough for a Colonist, she thought - but she had not been eager as well: after all, he was a Colonist! This man was a riddle to her. She sensed he had a hunger inside and wanted her yet kept himself at bay. This befuddled her, but she liked it.

His tying was not bad as well, to her additional surprise. Not cruel but effective enough. She believed she might undo it, but only after much effort. Since it would not be unnoticed with him close by, she decided not to try it. She would try it only once: the day she would run. Someday.

Her bondage circle and a few more had tied her up. She had enjoyed it mostly. Being tied up wasn't necessarily a bad thing in Bandit culture. At the moment, she felt desirable and worthy. She liked that, too.

And she would sleep on this soft 'bed,' as he called it. She would sleep deep and safe. Not bad, as well. She fixed the Colonist with her dark eyes. She thought he would be even more handsome if he were not so sad. He missed his Maddie, for sure. For a moment or two, her eyes widened. Because she understood suddenly and she knew why she had been taken to this place. Recognizing the sadness in his face, she understood he was in mourning still. He was split between two minds.

Looking at her, Jordan thought she would be more comfortable if he turned her on her side. He did and moved a pillow under her head. That left her eyes and nipples looking at him. He let the temperature go down to 18 degrees at night, so he pulled a big blanket up to her waist. He would be getting under the blanket as well.

Jordan tested the firmness of her breasts by cupping them and seeing how they manipulated. This, of course, was not having sex. This was just a little foreplay. He did not continue that activity long as he was starting to get worked up. He had said no sex tonight. Muddy had to be able to depend on his word. So he slid his legs under the blanket, pulled the blanket up to their necks, ordered the lights out, and tried to go to sleep.

Finally, he did. But not before his mind turned again and again to the beautiful bound woman laying beside him. Her breasts were amazing. They were soft and firm at the same time. They were large enough to fill his hands, but she would not sag as she aged. He longed to fill his mouth with those tits. His erection throbbed, but he willed himself to leave it alone tonight. Sleep, when it came, was a relief.

Muddy had been passive. Not because she did not like it, but because she felt this Colonist had to find the right way for himself. But she enjoyed it very much. It was entertaining. She stayed awake for quite a while and listened to his breathing. Like Jordan, Muddy had much to think about. Earlier that evening, when she was too restless to stay put, she had walked around and found a picture in a frame. A smiling woman with dark brown hair was held in place by two thin braids starting at the temples and pulled back: a strange fashion, Muddy thought, but it did the trick. She had learned this was the late wife of his, Maddie.

“Maeh'deeh--or maybe even: Mae’aed-dee." she repeated the name in her mind. She wondered, he was given a proper name, Shordan Archah, and his wife had one, too. Why was that while she was just 'Muddy'? But she thought she was a friendly-looking woman, probably a few years older. Too young to die.

She was also curious about what she was to learn the following day. There had been so many wonders today. Perhaps the biggest surprise of all, she saw that Shordan Archah was not soft. He was kind and considerate but not soft at all. A decent man, she judged. Moreover, a decent man who was lonely but not lonely by nature. Bad luck. She almost pitied him. Almost. He simply should had stayed on his star. Then she fell asleep without even a brief attempt to get free.

Jeeves woke Jordan with his selection of music. This morning, Jeeves had picked the Irish Rovers singing "Drunken Sailor," a rousing sound to begin the day. It was followed by The Killdares singing "Whiskey in The Jar." The room temperature was coming up to normal. Jordan pulled the covers off of Muddy and freed her from her ropes. He picked up his clothes and hers and rushed Muddy to the bathhouse. If Muddy decided to stay, he would have to add indoor plumbing to the house.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf0E_PJ ... JohnKenton
The Irish Rovers sing “Drunken Sailor” – Irish Rovers concert in Toronto June 19, 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD2Niae ... illdaresTV
The Killdares “Whiskey in the Jar” Live at the Granada Theater February 12, 2011

In the bathhouse, he used the outhouse and then took a shower. Naturally, the doors were locked so that Muddy could not escape. He did not give Muddy any orders but left her to decide her actions.

Those sound bewildered Muddy. What was a sailor? She didn't know about music, but it was rousing and hypnotic. And washing – again? She felt totally clean, but she washed her face and hands a bit and was waiting dressed before Shordan had finished his shower. She had thought about it all and said, "It is not necessary to bind me. A neck-rope will suffice, surely. But I won't run, anyway." She added silently, "Not today." Then aloud, "I am very curious about what you want me to do today."

Jordan made a decision, "Alright, first we eat breakfast." He used his internal link to tell Jeeves to unlock the doors.

Jordan told her, "Then I think the next thing we will do after breakfast will be to get you some additional clothing. After that, I will walk you through my workshop. You will be spending a lot of your time there helping me. By then, it will be lunchtime. This afternoon, I will show you our fields and pastures."

Breakfast was laid out. They had eggs scrambled with cheese, bacon, toast with butter and jelly, and grits. To drink, each had a glass of water, a glass of milk, and a mug of hot coffee. “Have a seat, Muddy, and dig in.”

Muddy asked, “I don’t know how I am supposed to address you. Do I call you Master or Chief or Sir?”

When they were seated, and Jordan had taken his first sip of the coffee, he said, "You are welcome to use my name, Jordan, or as you say, Shordan."

Muddy looked at him with a blank expression, keeping her silence. She was used to listening more than speaking. The 'bondage circle' had been a special exception, for she tried to hide her thoughts and feelings. And her emotions were in turmoil, and admitting or showing them meant revealing her vulnerability.

All these things appearing and disappearing were pure magic. Right, if the Colonist liked to name this kind of magic 'technology', she was happy with that, but 'magic' it remained. The prospect of being served by this magic was so strange to her that she was quite unable to enjoy this luxury. 'Luxury' was a word she did not even know. And she had no idea why he had told her about more clothes. Her dress was new and well made!

She welcomed, however, the announcement of helping in the workshop. It contained the word 'work,' so surely there was work to be done, wasn't there? Her face lightened up as she heard it. Being useless was not in her book, and she even deemed it dangerous. Expendable. She had received shelter, protection, clothing, and food from the Creek because she was working, after all. Also, he mentioned fields and pastures. She was good with a hoe. Finally, she had to ask. "What is a 'bot' Shordan, or did you mean 'boot' or 'boat'? Are those fields on an island in the river?"

She made a face. This drink called 'coffee' was very strange, very bitter. Very much not to her liking. How could he enjoy this bitter medicine?

Jordan tried to answer, "It is going to be easier to show you a bot than to explain one. You will meet Joseph in a few minutes. They are machines and are made in many shapes. But they can think, almost like a person, maybe better."

Muddy did not say anything. But her eyes were big, and Jordan could tell she had doubts. Even more: 'Goliath' and 'Joseph' must be the very demons she had heard of!

After they finished breakfast, Jordan took Muddy to his office. It was not large but had a fine desk he had constructed. Behind the desk was a well-padded office chair. In the front were two equally well-padded chairs for guests, so far unused. The desk was placed so that Jordan could see out the window while seated at the desk or look at a large monitor that could be raised at the front of the desk. He could see an even larger wall monitor while seated at the desk. With a slight turn of their chairs, guests could also see the wall monitor. He sat Muddy in a chair in front of the desk and sat in his desk chair.

Jordan told Jeeves verbally, "Jeeves, open my desk console, display on wall monitor as well. Show women's clothing, casual and work. Two arrays of pictures appear on the monitor. Casual clothes are to the left, and work clothes are to the right." A message at the bottom of the screen said that Joseph needed to take measurements.

“Who is Jeeves, and where is he?" Muddy thought. "This house is full of tekk-now-logee magic! Measurements? How? When? By whom? Why?" Muddy's mouth was wide open in amazement. Her dress was very new! She needed no other!"

Jordan sensed her uncertainty, smiled at Muddy, and said, "I should have told you about 'coffee.' Coffee is a drink that helps people wake up and stay alert. Most people come to like the taste. Next time, try putting a spoon of sugar in the coffee and a little cream. Remind me, and I will show you how. Now, your question about bots is very important. Robots are intelligent machines that we often call bots. Some are designed to do very specialized functions. Some are more general purpose. For example, Jeeves is the house AI. He does the cooking in addition to our planning. He is very good at it. He keeps the house clean and oversees security. But Jeeves does not have a body. He would not be able to make new clothes for you.

“I have two general purpose bots. One is large, bigger even than our horses. He goes by the name Goliath. The other one, Joseph, is smaller and shaped somewhat like a mythical creature called a centaur. Goliath is powerful and takes care of mining, construction, and farming. Joseph is strong too, but can also do delicate work, such as sewing.

“Come in, Joseph. I want you to meet Muddy. Muddy, prepare to meet Joseph." The bots were in constant communication with Jeeves and already understood Muddy's status. They were eager to determine if Muddy was the woman that Jordan needed.

Muddy seemed to be befuddled at first, then almost terrified, especially when she heard the sounds of the approaching bot. She rose from her seat, prepared to flee. But there was no way out other than the direction from which this ‘bot’ approached. She thought, "What might happen if the Colonist got mad at me? Would those strange creatures tear me into pieces?" And then, 'Joseph' entered. Muddy squeaked. A sound she did not know she had in her repertoire. She was close to passing out and starting to feel not like a bandit but like a mouse hoping nobody would step on her to squash her. This was very annoying, and she kept pressing her fists on her mouth to subdue more of the squeaking sounds.

“Muddy, Joseph will not harm you. Joseph is brilliant. You can talk to him if you wish. He would like to be your friend. He is more intelligent than most humans. He will take your measurements and can do that without touching you. Please don't be afraid. You are safe here with me. And you are safe with Joseph. He will protect you just as I would."

Muddy trembled all over, watching this creature approaching her. Nervously she looked around, gulped, and said: "J--Joseph?"

“Hello, Miss Muddy. It is a pleasure to welcome you here to our small plantation. If there is anything that I can do to assist you or make you more comfortable, please let me know. And Master Jordan is correct. We will protect you." The bot spoke in a very mellow voice.

This tekk-now-logee was almost too overwhelming! Behold! A golem! An actual golem out of the stories told by the old folk to the kids, and, mind, not all those stories were nice. They were frightening. And here was such a—such a creature and its voice was friendly. Welcoming. Very confusing.

Jordan could read the turmoil she was in by looking at her face, but after several seconds she collected herself just enough to reply, "He-ello, Joseph! Thank you." She looked at the man the Creek called Shordan Archah. How very apt that name was, she thought in awe.

Jordan told Muddy, “You will need to remove your dress for him to measure, Muddy.”

That had to be repeated before Muddy understood what was demanded and why. Then she obeyed, gulping. She stood there naked, looking at that 'creature,' not knowing what she could do but obey. Jordan could not help but notice that she trembled along her whole body in her nakedness. He also saw that she also tried so hard to be brave.

Joseph answered calmly, "No, Muddy. I will not hurt you. My arms will come about a meter away from you but no closer."

Jordan explained, "You are being courageous, Muddy. Everything is alright. You can see Joseph's appendages measuring you – they won't come closer than half a meter. It is almost over. There! It is done."

Joseph withdrew his arms and said, "Muddy, I now have all the measurements I need to sew clothing for you that will fit perfectly. Thank you for your cooperation."

“Good, Muddy, you can dress now,” Jordan told her. “Let’s look on the monitor so you can pick what you want.”

Joseph said, "I suggest you start with two pairs of jeans. Here are some styles for those." The monitor display a row of women in different styles of jeans. "Then you will want shirts to go with the jeans. You will probably need four to six of these for now." The monitor showed a second row of women in tee shirts, sweatshirts, and frillier things like camisoles. "You will also want some leisure wear, maybe four sets of these." A third row appeared, featuring shorts, slacks, tank tops, halters, and the like. "And finally, I suggest some sleepwear." A fourth row showed pajamas and nightgowns.

A fifth row showed Muddy some options for footwear.

Muddy gulped, "This golem, it speaks to me like a confidant," she thought. "But also kindly in a friendly manner. Is it possible that it really would protect me?" She was almost frozen, unable to make a choice.

“Joseph, would you pick out a few essentials for Muddy. We are going to the workshop. Muddy, it’s okay. Sometimes our emotions can overwhelm us. It is natural for you to be shocked by what you have just seen. I think going to the workshop will make you feel better. You can see things there that you can understand and that you will be able to do.”

He was thinking that she might react to crying in front of him. The Creek, and probably other Bandits, did not believe in showing their emotions in public.

We walked out of the house and over to the workshop. This building was a good bit bigger than the house. The first room that I take Muddy to is the woodwork shop. "Muddy, there are a lot of machines here. Promise me that you will not try to use a machine until I show you how. Used correctly, they are safe. But used incorrectly, they can be very dangerous.

“Here are two tables I am building. I have finished one. The other is almost finished. These are tables that might sit beside a chair or a sofa in a den. Notice that both have very smooth surfaces. But the finished one has a much deeper polish. That is because I have hand-polished it.

“I will show you how." I take a can of linseed oil and spill a few drops of oil out of it onto the top of the unfinished table. Then I spend ten minutes rubbing the oil into part of the table top with the palm of my hand, making small circular motions. When I took my hand away, A small patch of the table surface was shining just like the finished table.

“This comes from a combination of things, the linseed oil, the heat from my hand rubbing it, and I think there are some oils from my hand too. Tomorrow, you can start helping me by finishing this table. Then, I want the stocks of the crossbows I am making polished this way."

Muddy, totally confused, tried hard to recover. She discovered that the overwhelming flood of information caused her state of mind. She could hardly grasp it all at the velocity it was presented to her. But she still had a desire to find a haven. What kind of a bandit was she? She knew now that she would not kill this Colonist. How could she? He was a kind man and had been extra kind to her. Angela and Sheilah had been right. Again: how apt his naming was! She might run. Yes, she might. But certainly not while she was so curious about everything!

"Yes, Shordan Archah!" she replied. With awe, she stared at the strange surroundings. She could not say it, but for the moment, she was just too scared to touch anything, so she replied quite meekly by now. "Yes, Shordan Archah! I promise!"

These tables, however, she could understand and touch. She had watched the first such things, or similar, arrive. Once or twice, she used a quick opportunity to look at them in the village while helping out at Samuel's, for example. She looked at the polishing and asked, "May I just try to polish it right now? Just a bit?"

“Of course, you may, Muddy. I have some work to do on my crossbows. If you have any questions, you can ask me anytime."


Jordan had fifty crossbows in various stages of completion. Troublesome times were ahead. He had learned from his internal comm link that Joe Houston, the Colony's Commander, had issued a warrant to hang Lou Harriman. This would enrage the Bandits, and if the Colonist captured Lou, it would be war.

Fortunately, Houston was incompetent. There was a good chance he would never get his hands on Harriman. If he were competent, Jordan's communications to the Colony would have been cut. Most Colonists would view him as a turncoat. But to Jordan, the Colonists were the interlopers. Newhome was the Bandit's planet. The Colonists came uninvited. He would do what he could to help the Bandits and, specifically, the Creek. Maddie would want this.

Muddy had calmed down and did a carefully, thoroughly job polishing without saying another word. She fixed her dark eyes on the point she was polishing. A trance-like state of mind, for she was one of the people who found it relaxing and satisfying while working in the field, a garden, or a shop. Jordan had even given an order to stop working and to wash her hands carefully.

They returned to the house for lunch. At the table, Jordan said, "You did very well, Muddy, and it's time for a break. Instead of coffee to drink, for lunch, we have iced tea. Most people like it sweet. The covered white bowl on the table is the sugar. Watch, and I will put a spoon of sugar in my tea. Now I will use this long-handled spoon to stir the sugar to mix it with the tea. You try; you might start with two spoons of sugar."

Muddy looked at this white material with small, distrustful eyes. Jordan soon discovered that Muddy had a sweet tooth, for after obeying his advice to the letter – she measured the spoonful of sugar twice with the concentration of someone very eager to master a new experience – and tasted the drink, her eyes lit up. She added a third spoonful, and her face brightened even more. Adding a fourth one put Muddy in heaven! That was better than the small measures of honey she could get in a Creek hut!

“What a delightful drink!" she exclaimed. "May I ask a question? – other than polishing wood, what is expected of me when this giant, Joseph, and Jeeves are doing all the real work? I want to have something to do on my own, to show you what I can do! Maybe my own little garden?"

“When I decide to run, that could help me," she thought. "Besides the fruits, I could need certain plants and herbs. Shordan can keep the rest. That'll do him good."

“Yes, you can do things on your own. I suggest you wait a few days to see what I will have you doing before you decide. You just saw a little of what you will be doing in the workshop this morning."
ImageA List of my stories:
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The Bandit Scout on Newhome updated 05/30/23
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Nainur
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Post by Nainur »

GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago ...
She welcomed, however, the announcement of helping in the workshop. It contained the word 'work,' so surely there was work to be done, wasn't there? Her face lightened up as she heard it. Being useless was not in her book, and she even deemed it dangerous. Expendable. She had received shelter, protection, clothing, and food from the Creek because she was working, after all. Also, he mentioned fields and pastures. She was good with a hoe. ...
I like to point out that this does not mean Muddy likes being slave, not even she likes to work for the benefit of other people. She is, however, used to a certain way of living without really accepting it - she has plans to run, after all, in due time. As (submissive) partner of a man of her chosing she would work, too, and probably with even more vigour. But in her mind working is no bad thing and working means, well, shelter, food,...
that's it.
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Mineira1986
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Post by Mineira1986 »

It took me a while to catch up with this story. There are many, many things I'd want to say, hope it's not too long.

First, the good stuff. It's well written, I think. The pace of the chapters, even when slow, it's OK. The descriptions are great. There are very good descriptions of the tie ups, the Creek culture, the bots... Very good in that aspect.

Also, it has a nice balance between things relevant to the plot and when they are not that relevant. In other stories, for example, there is too much focus on one minor conversation that is not that really necessary while another event, more important to the story, takes only one five-words sentence. This is not the case. The length of the sentences and the paragraphs are well done.

Another aspect I like is that some of the characters have a distinctive voice. Jordan, Broken Jordan (more of this later), Maddy, Muddy and Chief Samuel in particular. I don't know what it is, but it's very easy to distinct that they are speaking their lines. That's not something easy to do, as some of the time we writers tend to repeat the same phrases and styles, so our characters' dialogue become some sort of a mix and a mess. This is great job getting the characters personality into their dialogue.

Now, onto my worries.

I have to agree with BlissfulMisery and Beaumains on what they've already said.

I love non-consensual stories. I mostly write non-consensual stories, but on the PG-13 forum. There is an even more tricky way to pull it right in the adults forum, as it can easily derive into sexual assault.

This could be written maybe if it was from a villain's point of view. Maybe. Big maybe.

But this is not the case. Jordan is supposed to be the protagonist. Like BlissfulMisery said, he's the guy that the audience needs to relate to. The current first half of the story makes us care for him. It's supposed to break us readers when he loses Maddy. I understand he's a broken man. But his reaction was... wrong. It's like reading two completely different characters. And for one, it's making me care less and less about him... when he is the supposed protagonist.

(One way to put it could have been the Creek giving him Muddy without him asking to... and even worse, Jordan not wanting to because she reminds him too much of his deceased wife. But he can't say no to the Creek. It could have brought a much more interesting development rather than him asking specifically for her and then telling her that she must submits to him, even sexually).

A minor point that I found weird was how quickly the bots adapted to this new sentience funcionality. Yes, one could argue that they are super smart and that it has been part of their code all the time. But... intelligence comes in many forms. For humans, that have been coping with feelings and emotions their entire lives, it's difficult to control and understand them. For beings that, all of a sudden, start to feel and get emotions, it should have been way harder.

The last thing, probably not story related, is that I believe the story should speak for itself. I know I've done this, and I know we are in a forum, so we authors from time to time explain some points or develop the reviews we get. I understand the need to clarify some points after chapter 16, to soothe some concerns, but I believe it should be reflected in the story mostly, not outside of it. (I'm not saying that the replies to the comments are wrong, I'm saying that personally, it should be the story that tackles those issues).
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Shotrow
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Post by Shotrow »

Just finished reading this story. Noticed it awhile ago, and it sounded like a very interesting premise, but I have trouble with long stories on screen. When I heard through the grapevine about the issues raised by this story, I finally made the effort to download it to my e-reader so I could catch up and see what the fuss is about.

First, I'll give my thoughts on the story. I greatly enjoy it it. It has a very "classic science fiction" feel to it. I could tell a lot of care went into building this world and the characters in it. There's a real sense of progression throughout the whole thing, with characters growing and changing with the world around them.

I did have one issue: the dialogue. I'm wondering why you chose to make it is so formal and straightforward. There's a very visible absence of contractions and emotive words, and a strong tendency to state facts dryly. Your human characters sometimes read like robots or Vulcans. I'm sorry to say I found it very odd and it took me out of the story somewhat.

I'm curious to know if John Norman was an influence on your work. I sometimes find his dialogue overly straightforward too.

I haven't read your other story yet, so forgive me if these questions are answered in that story (or if I missed the explanation in this story), but I'm curious to know why the Bandits have Anglo names. Also, I did see the explanation for why the Creek share a name with a Native American tribe, but it does stretch credibility that all Bandit tribes would share names with Native American cultures.

One last nitpick is that I noticed you dropped into first-person perspective at a couple of points in the later chapters.

---
Now, as for the issues raised by the latest chapters, I want to start by saying I don't have any problem with it from a literary perspective. I found it very believable, because it mirrored what I observed among my co-workers when I was working abroad. Being isolated from their own culture and immersed in one they don't fully understand, some people start to feel like no rules apply to them. They simultaneously start believing, "I can't worry about my society's rules, things work different here and I have to respect their culture" and "I don't have to worry about this society's rules, I'm an outsider/I know better."

From a meta perspective, my first instinct was to defend it on the basis that it is fine to create a world where certain acts are less bad than they would be in the real world. No one questions it when authors write stories where non-consensual tie-ups never cause any serious physical or psychological damage and kidnapping and torture is treated as a harmless prank. But [mention]Beaumains[/mention] and [mention]BlissfulMisery[/mention] both raised good points, firstly that glorification of rape is against forum rules, and secondly that fiction can normalize things that shouldn't be normalized.

Personally, I think I'm going to keep reading regardless, but I understand and sympathize with the people who take issue with it. There are many things in fiction that I take issue with that most others don't. I sympathize with you too, because I see the appeal of the story you're trying to tell and the effort you're putting into it, and I know it doesn't feel good to feel stifled or judged. But it's a lesson to keep in mind for future stories. When dealing with sensitive issues, it's worth considering how people will respond, particularly those who have been affected by those issues.
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Post by GreyLord »

Welcome to my story, [mention]Shotrow[/mention]. I appreciate your taking the trouble to reads this.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago ...
First, I'll give my thoughts on the story. I greatly enjoy it it. It has a very "classic science fiction" feel to it. I could tell a lot of care went into building this world and the characters in it. There's a real sense of progression throughout the whole thing, with characters growing and changing with the world around them.
It is kind of you to say that. Even with the current controversy, I am getting indications that some of my writing goals are being realized.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago I did have one issue: the dialogue. I'm wondering why you chose to make it is so formal and straightforward. There's a very visible absence of contractions and emotive words, and a strong tendency to state facts dryly. Your human characters sometimes read like robots or Vulcans. I'm sorry to say I found it very odd and it took me out of the story somewhat.

I'm curious to know if John Norman was an influence on your work. I sometimes find his dialogue overly straightforward too.
I did read some of the Gor books back in the 1970's and I did enjoy the original Star Trek. There was no thought of emulating either here. Rather, these stories are my very first attempt at writing fiction and I expect you are just detecting my lack of skill. In this story, [mention]Nainur[/mention] is a coauthor and has loosened up my dialog considerably.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago I haven't read your other story yet, so forgive me if these questions are answered in that story (or if I missed the explanation in this story), but I'm curious to know why the Bandits have Anglo names. Also, I did see the explanation for why the Creek share a name with a Native American tribe, but it does stretch credibility that all Bandit tribes would share names with Native American cultures.
No problem, English pronunciation of natives words was awkward and the natives have great talent for learning English. English names were chosen that were somewhat close in sound to the native word. We do not imply that our Creek tribe has similarities to the Creek tribe in the United States and certainly mean no disrespect by our use of the name.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago One last nitpick is that I noticed you dropped into first-person perspective at a couple of points in the later chapters.
The original writing of this material was in a RP. [mention]Nainur[/mention] and I have passed these chapters back and forth editing and reediting. Sorry if we missed a spot.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago ...
From a meta perspective, my first instinct was to defend it on the basis that it is fine to create a world where certain acts are less bad than they would be in the real world. No one questions it when authors write stories where non-consensual tie-ups never cause any serious physical or psychological damage and kidnapping and torture is treated as a harmless prank. But @Beaumains and @BlissfulMisery both raised good points, firstly that glorification of rape is against forum rules, and secondly that fiction can normalize things that shouldn't be normalized.
I don't want to keep beating a dead horse, but there has been absolutely no glorification of rape. These objections are based on a fear of what may be coming.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago Personally, I think I'm going to keep reading regardless, but I understand and sympathize with the people who take issue with it. There are many things in fiction that I take issue with that most others don't. I sympathize with you too, because I see the appeal of the story you're trying to tell and the effort you're putting into it, and I know it doesn't feel good to feel stifled or judged. But it's a lesson to keep in mind for future stories. When dealing with sensitive issues, it's worth considering how people will respond, particularly those who have been affected by those issues.
Thank you for your comments and welcome again to the story.
ImageA List of my stories:
An Unlikely Savior Completed
Spy Task Force Completed
Tale of an Archer Completed
The Bandit Scout on Newhome updated 05/30/23
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Post by GreyLord »

[mention]Beaumains[/mention], [mention]BlissfulMisery[/mention], and [mention]Mineira1986[/mention], I would like to emphasis that your comments are welcomed, And due to some additional education for me, welcomed.

For the next few chapters, at least, we are accelerating the postings. The start of chapter 18 will begin tomorrow, 08/16/22. It turned out to be long so it is split into two parts. The second part will be posted two days later, on 08/18/22.
ImageA List of my stories:
An Unlikely Savior Completed
Spy Task Force Completed
Tale of an Archer Completed
The Bandit Scout on Newhome updated 05/30/23
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