Amazing Domme experience (F/M)

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jgcorn
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Amazing Domme experience (F/M)

Post by jgcorn »

Susanne D'arcy: A Review

NB: A review from 2008 or so. Unfortunately, I heard that this magnificent Domme passed away.


I recently had the pleasure of meeting Maitresse D'arcy, and I feel compelled to offer a review of the experience. I hope I don't come off sounding pretentious, but this session completely disrupted the way I view myself, and I have to include it as one of the most significant events of my life thus far. In fact, I have not yet assimilated all the associated feelings, but I wanted to share my impressions while the memory is still fresh.

First I'll relate a bit about me. I’ve never considered myself a submissive or masochist per se. I consider myself primarily a rope bondage fetishist. My 10-year marriage ended because I could no longer suppress or deny my needs, regarding my fetish. My wife, bless her heart, tried to understand and participate but she couldn't see consensual rope bondage as anything other than horrible violence. So we parted ways, still friends for the most part. Still, the emotional pain surrounding the divorce has been the most wrenching I’ve ever experienced.

I have previously gotten the most pleasure from a prolonged and brutal hogtie, with a tight gag, in the context of a kidnap or robbery scenario — something with an element of peril. I have been through much disappointment (and money!) engaging in sessions where I allowed myself to be persuaded to try various activities other than bondage. I discovered that I don't like nipple clamps, clothespins, hot wax, ice, needles, and electricity. To me, these things all distract from the bondage and prevent me from entering that blissful meditative state that I experience when I'm rendered well and truly helpless. In short, I don't like pain. The only S & M activity I'd ever come close to enjoying was a bit of flogging, strictly thuddy, which I'd experienced once.

I went to Chicago on business and contacted Susanne before going. She says on her website that she smiles when someone asks for inescapable bondage. So I thought she'd be the ideal Domme for me. I e-mailed her, then followed up with a phone call. She booked me for a three-hour rope bondage session after deciding our interests were compatible.

Our session had an inauspicious beginning. She was around two hours late, for reasons beyond her control, and she'd broken a toe just before coming. She was still remarkably cheery in spite of these impediments, however. I myself didn't care that she was late, because meeting her was the only thing on my agenda that day.

Susanne is a petite, very attractive woman who obviously looks after her fitness. As a bonus, she has a great sense of humor as well as an engaging personality. Her facility is in a discreet and safe location. I was a little worried about that because I didn't know anything about Chicago. It's a great location, and parking was no problem either. The dungeon itself is packed with all sorts of sophisticated, menacing-looking devices. Some of them I recognized, and some of them I didn't.

She let me in, and we spent a delightful 20 minutes or so chatting and getting to know one another. She’s not a clock watcher. Next, she interviewed me, in an unhurried manner, about what I was seeking. I basically told her what I said above. She probed gently regarding what sorts of things she could and couldn’t do to me. I told her my hard limits were nipple torture and electricity since I’d had frightful experiences with those activities in the past. I told her I’d be fine with some thuddy flogging, however. She probed a little more, regarding the precise nipple torture and electricity techniques to which I had been subjected, and why I found them so disagreeable. She asked if I expected “release” as a part of the session and I told her no, which was true — that has never been a part of any session I’ve been in. She approved, pointing out the benefits of accumulating, rather than releasing, the erotic energy accrued during a session. That being said, however, this session would turn out to be the most sexually charged experience I have ever had, though there was no sexual contact at all in the usual sense.

She next asked me to consider the possibility of flexing my hard limits. She reckoned that my prior bad experiences were due to thoughtless and inferior techniques employed by the Dommes involved, and she asked me if I’d be willing to let her try those very same things on me. As the inveterate and incorrigible people-pleaser that I am, I heard myself saying, “Sure!” Inside, I immediately said, “Shit!” to myself, however. Until then I thought I had made it clear, during our communications over the preceding days, that the ONLY thing I wanted was to be bound and gagged. Now I’d gone and agreed to try activities that had been hard limits! As usual, I’d have only myself to blame if the session turned into a disaster. Was I NEVER going to learn how to negotiate? Anyhow, with steadily increasing apprehension I undressed as she went to change into a rubber mini-dress.

I never cease to marvel at the capacity for dichotomy in a great mistress. Susanne was sweetly solicitous and at the same time savagely sadistic. When she returned, she proffered a winsome apology that due to her broken toe, she couldn’t wear heels. She looked amazing in her black rubber mini-dress. She then adjusted the lighting in her dungeon and put on an Enigma CD. She instructed me to stand before her. She asked if I’d ever used a parachute before. I had not. So she introduced me to that device, and then applied some sort of suction devices to my nipples. They started out only a little uncomfortable. Then the pain crescendoed to levels that were starting to get me concerned. Trying to stay true to my people-pleasing roots, I wanted to bear as much as possible, to please her. But what if things spiraled out of hand, to where I became physically ill? It turns out I needn’t have worried. Susanne knew exactly where to stop. At that point, the pain was definitely fierce enough to have my attention, but it wasn’t frighteningly intense.

Something started tugging at the back of my mind at this point. I was a rope bondage fetishist, right? I’m not a submissive or a masochist, right? So why the hell was I worried about pleasing Maitresse D’arcy?

She interrupted my thoughts by directing me to her St. Andrew’s Cross. She explained that I was to be cuffed to it, blindfolded and gagged, and then flogged. In general, I don’t like cuffs so much because they allow too much lateral movement between the hands, and I don’t feel truly restrained and helpless in them. Maybe my thoughts showed on my face, but without me saying a word, she reassured me that she remembered I needed to be hogtied tightly with rope at some point during our scene and that she would take care of it when it was time.

She placed my wrists where she wanted them and then cuffed me to the cross. Then she secured my ankles as well. She strapped a gag tightly in my mouth and strapped a blindfold on me, also very tightly. That was a detail I appreciated very much, she straps things TIGHT. I’ve been to many Dommes who seemed to be mainly into symbolic bondage, where it was easy to push out your gag, for example. After Susanne was done my gag wasn’t going to go anywhere until she said so.

So I stood there, waiting. This would be the second time I’d ever been flogged. I was horribly inexperienced but I did know that I preferred thuddy floggers to stingy ones. I was glad she’d agreed to respect this, and she did, at first.

She began. I couldn’t tell, but I think she was using two floggers. I would feel a rhythmic flurry of light blows on my shoulders and back, punctuated intermittently with some quite forceful blows. As the skin on my back became more sensitized, the pain from the blows intensified, and somehow seemed to sink into my back more deeply.

At this point I had to use my safe word, but not because of the flogging. That damn parachute had been pinching a small fold of scrotal skin since its application and this pain was now so irritatingly annoying that it was all I could think about. It was occupying my full attention, and I wanted to be more present in the moment, to experience all the sensations coming at me without this continual distraction. I asked if she could loosen it a bit, but apparently, that wasn’t an option. So, she took it off completely.

She blindfolded me again. She gagged me, tightly. I sensed she had moved away. And then all of a sudden there she was, pressing herself softly up against me. And in my ear, an unbearably beautiful, soft, and sultry whisper: “Do you want to fly?”

I was most confused at this point. I had come here expecting rope bondage. Then I found myself agreeing to things I had sworn I would never do again. But so far Susanne seemed to be right about hard limits not being so hard after all, in the context of playing with someone who genuinely knows what she’s doing. After all, I was easily tolerating the nipple devices by now. During the flogging up to this point, some of the harder shots had seemed right on the verge of being more than I could take. But something in me urged me to keep going anyhow. This genuinely surprised me because I viewed myself as someone fundamentally not into pain.

Again, her softly insistent and angelic whisper in my ear: “Do you want to fly?” Shivers were going up and down my spine. I nodded and tried to mumble some sort of assent through my gag. She told me, in the most paradoxically gentle way imaginable, that she would now flog me with some different implements. It was to be more painful. In some instances, it would be a lot more painful. She told me she knew I could do it and she promised when it was done I would be flying.

She resumed. At first, the beating seemed easier to take than before. Then I began to experience some very sharp punctuating blows. This pain was of another level of intensity entirely. It seemed to linger for a long time as well. Once the pain faded, another sharp, sharp blow would land for resupply. I could count on it. Again, a part of me said I was approaching more than I could bear. Then another part of me thought, “What if it becomes more than you can bear — but you keep going anyhow?” I resolved to do so. And suddenly Susanne was there again, pressing gently against me, and her achingly gentle whisper: “You can keep going. Do you want to? I know you can do it.” I nodded again.

When the blows began again, they were the most severe yet. I wondered what in the world she was hitting me with! She later told me it was something called a Dragon’s Tail, and a single-tail whip. Each lash was a white-hot stripe burning into my back and working its way deeper and deeper, to eventually dissipate God knows where. I noticed that the worst pain seemed to come a second or two after the initial strike. Then, for one last, glorious time, she was whispering in my ear, inspiring me, impelling me: “There will be five more strokes. They are going to be very bad. I know you can do it.”

As she stepped away again, something began to stir deep within me. I couldn’t tell what it was. Then came a lash that hurt more than anything I had ever imagined was possible. The pain was blistering and all-consuming. It felt like it burned all the way through to the core of my soul. I again felt vague rumblings deep inside me. Susanne delivered another excruciating blow. The pain seemed to last and last, intensifying until it was my whole universe. Then, the third blow. I don’t know the words to describe what happened next. It’s a right-brain thing, I think. While I was in the midst of this searing agony, something in me “popped” and somehow my physical pain connected with all the emotional pain I had experienced over the past year.

I began to cry.

Susanne landed the last two blows in mercifully quick succession. I was sobbing uncontrollably as she released me from the St. Andrew’s Cross and helped me sit down. I was horrified that I had started to cry. I figured she’d ask me to leave. On the contrary, she told me that she was honored that I had done so, that I felt safe enough in her dungeon to express that depth of emotion during our scene. I felt a lot better after hearing her perspective on it. I began to notice a deeply peaceful serenity within myself.
Our session wasn’t over yet, however! With our remaining time, she restrained me and suspended me in her Fetters Suspension Cage while applying electricity across my prostate. This was curiously pleasurable, in contrast to my other experience with electricity, which had been terrifying.

Once it was all over, Susanne provided hot water and the means with which to freshen up. She was generous with aftercare time, compassionate, and sensitive. I recognized what Susanne had accomplished in our session — she had broken the continual stream of chatter always blathering away in my head. She was able to get me, however briefly, to shut off my internal dialogue, get outside of my head, simply feel, and exist entirely in the present moment. This lead to a catharsis which I sorely needed.

On the way home, it struck me that I never did get hogtied and gagged the way I love to. Normally I would be quite upset by that, but this time it didn’t matter at all. I had experienced something much more profound, along the lines of a spiritual experience. I decided that Maitresse Susanne D’arcy is actually a Zen Master in disguise, helping people like me reach satori.

To close, my experience with Susanne was, dare I say it — life-changing? I am still incredulous that I survived a single-tail. Never before that day had I been open to the idea of receiving a hard beating. Somehow Susanne knew what I needed more than I did myself. As she told me, “Maybe you’re more of a masochist than you think you are.” She listened as I described exactly what I wanted. Then she expertly guided me into experiencing exactly what I needed instead, with impeccable insight, skill, sensitivity, compassion, and technique.

What kind of a price can you put on that?
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Flyingvulture
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Post by Flyingvulture »

What a beautiful description of events.

You know, you do transmit that the session was amazing and at the end the result was a good one.

However... It still was Technically not what you were looking for nor what you agreed to, even if you agreed to it, she should have stayed within the limits you set.

It's a weird position to be, it's not that you're experience was bad, but if you don't get what you expect, is it right even if it was pleasurable?
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