Is Bondage itself humiliating?

[BandG]

Do you think bondage of itself is humiliating or is it what happens while someone is bound that becomes humiliating?

I suppose being forcibly restrained so you can't move your hands, feet or maybe whole body is quite humiliating. Obviously being gagged with something tied over or in your mouth to stop you speaking is also quite humiliating.

Or is it the things like drooling due to a gag, being tickled, spanked, verbally teased etc that makes it humiliating?

[Pantyhose971]

It depends for me. A frogtied are a hogtie is, but a box tie is not for me. Also if you are tied to something (Pole, chair, bed) I agree but If you are tied to someone I don't.

I think if they something you really like it is not that much but If it is something you are not sure about or don't like it is more.

[captured_prize]

I don't think bondage itself is humiliating, but things done to a person while in bondage can be humiliating since they are powerless to do anything about it.

[sami200456boyfriend]

No it is not

[Bigballgag1]

I think the answer lies somewhere between both and much of it depends on the setting. I think its difficult to retain power or ego if you are tied up and gagged and it wasnt something you organised. Having said that i think especially things like drooling, tickling and other torments can also provide a great deal of humiliation to the sub on top of their predicament.

[WillHBonney]

Do you think bondage of itself is humiliating or is it what happens while someone is bound that becomes humiliating?

I think both. But it really depends on the different factors involved.
Much like what Pantyhose971 said, the position and type of tie can determine how humiliating the bondage is. Also the captor and the willingness of the captive.
For example if I let my girlfriend tie me up, I wouldn't really feel humiliated. However if someone else was to wrestle me into submission and tie me up I'd feel pretty humiliated.

As for what happens whilst someone is bound, I would say that anything that happens to the captive is a small reminder of their helplessness and therefore somewhat humiliating as it emphasises their reliance on the captor.

[ExcessivelyCurious]

As other people said, it depends a good deal on the exact scenario. Which I guess means that bondage itself isn't inherently humiliating. The defeat or submission that leads to it can be, and of course you can do plenty of humiliating things to a person who is in bondage, but it's also entirely possible to have a non-humiliating bondage experience. For example, if somebody lets you tie them up and then you do things to them you know they like. Or if they're modelling for some artsy rope bondage. Plenty of options.

[Lucky Lottie]

Being tied up can definitely be humiliating, but not necessarily always. There are some rather artistic poses in Shibari that can really make a model elegant and beautiful despite the lack of movement. On the flip side something like a frogtie is not all that graceful.

What happens after is normally an extension of what the tie is for. For instance I've been tied up with a simple box tie and leg tie, which for some might be humiliating but my rigger and I ended up cuddling on the couch which was rather cute. Even with some playful tickles it never really felt like a humiliating experience.

Everyone is going to have different opinions about what's humiliating or not. I personally think it's a lot to do with the intention of the people involved. It's a fine line though.

Great question

[drawscore]

Depends upon the context. It isn't humiliating when a TV or movie character is tied up; nor is it humiliating in a game or challenge. Of course, if you are 14, get tied up by your 10 year old little brother, then can't get out, that might be humiliating, especially if it happens in front of your friends.

Drawscore

[JulieG]

I agree with all those above. Bondage can be part of humiliation. As I like to say when teasing a tied up partner “ I’m going to xxxxxxx and there’s nothing you can do about it. Similarly when tied up you really can’t stop someone undressing you as far as bonds allow: exposing breasts, bottom etc. Clearly being tied up in public in a place you do not want to be seen by people you do not want to be seen by would be unbelievably humiliating, however being locked in stocks or pillory for fun or charity could even be empowering. I also like [mention]Lucky Lottie[/mention] ”s comment about the artistic appearance of some positions.

[Mr Underheel]

Speaking for myself, when I am able to find someone who will tie me up, I don’t feel humiliated at all. I feel grateful that someone is willing to play with me and help me fulfill my all too frequently unreachable dreams. I don’t feel humiliated or even the opposite of humiliated. I don’t know the exact word for it but I do know that it’s an incredible feeling!

[drawscore]

In and of itself, bondage is not humiliating. After all, did you, or anyone else think it was humiliating when you saw someone get tied up on TV, or in the movies?

But when you are 12-13, and your mom comes into your room, and sees you tied and gagged on your bed, it could be. If not humiliating, then certainly embarrassing.

Drawscore

[Svpmissive]

Yes, and no. As others above have already said, it all depends on how one is restrained. In my experience, I found that being mummified in a diaper was very humiliating when it came time to use said garmet. Another time was in a straight jacket, gagged and helplessly drooling. Both of those times I was in very heavy bondage... And just being left to exist when there was so much more I could be doing was a bit humiliating.

However I have also been placed in simple latex mitts (forcing me to keep fists) and the simple fact of losing fine motor skills also left me embarrassed when I couldn't even get my own drink.

So maybe for some its about the removal of human identity/ function that causes the humiliation?

[MrBind]

It really depends on a lot of factors.

I'm not humiliated when my girlfriend ties me up. I'm in for a good time! I've mentioned here about how a male friend tied us up together before. That was embarrassing (not sure humiliation is the right word, but maybe), as I'm not into men. Guys tying me, even seeing me tied, makes me uncomfortable.

She tells me she doesn't feel humiliated when I tie her, she feels submissive and helpless, which she enjoys.

If I was tied up by an honest to God burglarer in an honest to God burglary, in front of her (or anyone else I know), I think that would be humiliating.

[Straitjacketed]

It doesn't have to be and, generally speaking, it isn't.

I actually really like a small element of humiliation, so a lot of my fantasies either involve authority figures (for example, policemen) ending up in bondage as the result of a bad decision or, my most common turn-on scenario, overly cocky escapologists failing escape challenges.

[tiedinbluetights]

Speaking for myself, when I am able to find someone who will tie me up, I don’t feel humiliated at all. I feel grateful that someone is willing to play with me and help me fulfill my all too frequently unreachable dreams. I don’t feel humiliated or even the opposite of humiliated. I don’t know the exact word for it but I do know that it’s an incredible feeling!

For me, it is mostly this. Even when doing selfbondage, I do not consider it humiliating in of itself. Be it by myself, or with willing RL partners that torment me in whatever ways that brings them and me joy, there is nothing humilatiing about it. I simply feel blessed and/or fortunate, in the moment. Blissful even.

However, being discovered by someone not "into it" and who would disapprove of it, would be not only embarrassing, but utterly humiliating, especially so if I now couldn't escape and would have to rely on the person who discovered me, and has suddenly become my reluctant/not-previously-negotiated captor, to free me. And the humiliation would potentially not end there as there would be all the explanations and follow up questions. Humiliation levels would go through the roof if the person discovering me would have called local law-enforcement before I'd have had a chance to explain!

[tiedjay]

It neednt be humiliating, but for me the humiliation is part of the appeal. The loss of agency and either the thrill of gaining control over your captive or slowly losing control as you are being bound are powerful emotions for me.

[GirlBondage]

I think that the humiliation of being tied up is a very central part and I love to write about the embarrassing feeling that many get when they get tied up.

Okay well, if one freely gives oneself or is available as a model, then it is of course not embarrassing to be tied up.

But if you do not want to be tied up and you are overpowered and tied up against your resistance, then it can be a very humiliating feeling to have lost.

My daughter Vanessa tricked (FF/ff)
3 against 3 bondage match on the playground (FFF/FFF)
Overnight stay with my girlfriend Jessica (F/F)


The feeling can be intensified by the degree of physical restriction caused by the bonds. Being tied on your stomach in a strict hogtie is certainly much more embarrassing than having only your hands tied.

Seduced, Tied Up, In Love (F/F)
Tied up and fixed in the trunk (F/F)
Involuntary pyjama bondage video night (FF/ff)


Even more humiliating I find the feeling when you try to free yourself from the one who has overpowered you and tied you up but the bonds are so well applied that all escape attempts fail. I think it is better in that case not to attempt it if you think that the restraints are too well made in order not to be at the mercy of your opponent's ridicule.

Further I find it very embarrassing if you are visibly escape-proof tied others to the show.

The Living Mannequin (FF/F)
Choice, Truth or Dare (F/F/F/F)
Be careful how you treat your admirer (m/f)