How is bondage different for men and women?

[BandG]

What do you think the key differences are?

I feel like as a man it's probably more humiliating to be tied up as traditionally the man is seen as the 'protector'. For example if a robber broke in and tied up a couple then the man might be more embarrassed to be restrained next to his girlfriend or wife when he's meant to protect them.

The 'damsel in distress' has always been associated with women too. Bondage in movies, books and even bondage videos are predominantly women in bondage.

There is a bigger market for male bondage in the last 5-10 years or so but I still feel you don't see a lot of videos where men are being tied up and gagged by a robber or soft bondage with men. It's always more a dominatrix style video or usually the man is naked etc.

I wonder if it's easier for women growing up now who are into bondage than it is for men?

Just some thoughts.

[Reidy]

It's probably seen as 'easier' for the woman to be tied up, the stereotypes set them up to be weaker. Even though that isn't the case.

[Flyingvulture]

For me, it's about sexyness.

Bondage (independently to who it is applied to) is sexy, a woman is sexy, mixing the two creates a sexier image.

[captured_prize]

It's probably seen as 'easier' for the woman to be tied up, the stereotypes set them up to be weaker. Even though that isn't the case.

Exactly. It definitely goes back to the damsel in distress archetype. Despite it being outdated, it's still a part of pop culture, though obviously not as prevelant as in the past.

[mention]Flyingvulture[/mention] I agree with you there, especially given how men are more aroused by imagry. It also makes sense that most bondage videoes feature women, given that heterosexual men are a larger part of the population than gay men. They want to see women, so that's where the demand comes from.

[MrBind]

For myself, I love the physical sensation of being tied up. It's sexual, of course, which is why hetro me doesn't really care to be tied by other guys. It's not really about being helpless. I don't think I ever actually felt helpless when tied, probably because I knew 1000000% the person tying me wasn't going to do anything bad to me.

My girlfriend, though, loves feeling helpless when she's tied. That's be big appeal for her her. And I'm not really sure WHY she feels helpless, since she knows I'm not going to hurt her (beyond what she's interested in, lol). And I know an aunt of mine and my sister are into being helpless.

[KidnappedCowboy]

It's a whole lot of things for me.

I'm gay, and there is a sexual component to it.

It's like [mention]BandG[/mention] wrote...it's a subversion of traditional gendered roles. I especially love when a Type A, confident men gets tied up and gagged.

For me, getting tied up and gagged by another man (and if I tie up and gag another man) it's about trust and control. I trust the man who's tying me up completely to cede control over myself to him. He controls my very movement (and with a gag) my very speech. I trust him completely not to let harm come to me. Same if I'm the one tying another man.

Trust and control.

[DeeperThanRed]

So I have very little experience in bondage content involving women as I consider myself gay and tie-ups are largely something sexual/romantic for me. I rarely seek tied-up women images/videos but I still come across them frequently as they are hard to avoid online. As others said, there's a large demand for bound women.

[mention]KidnappedCowboy[/mention] said, a lot of gay/bi men enjoy the role reversal aspect of bondage: It's more common to see a bigger guy as the tier but it's also very easy to find stuff where the "manlier" man is the one in bondage. Personally, I'm into being tied up as much as tying up others (though more the latter). I also enjoy couples getting into BDSM roleplay as much as I like non-consensual bondage scenarios.

One reason I'm not into M/F or F/M bondage (aside from the aforementioned lack of sexual interest) is how sometimes roles seem to be set in stone. Interestingly, I actually enjoy where hetero couples are tied up together occasionally as they feel more dynamic to me.

[Detective-Gag]

I think when it comes to men getting tied & gagged, they are (generally) physically bigger & stronger than most women you see getting tied up.

More muscular, burlier, etc…and getting bound with ropes only emphasizes that further. It becomes a question if you can even KEEP them tied up.

This leads into the idea that, if you manage to keep a guy tied up & gagged, it a bit more embarrassing for them because they lack the apparent strength to free themselves.

And since men typically have deeper voices, they tend to grunt more into their gags, rather than mumble in the softer pitch that ladies do.

For women, I think they “wear” the look of being tied up a bit better (generally) because they tend to look slimmer or more delicate when compared to a male physique. Less a motivation to free themselves since it’s less likely they can escape…which I suppose means that it’s less embarrassing for them in general.

Another way to look at it is:

Men getting tied up is sort of like a challenge, which they fail.

Women getting tied up is like…fashion, almost.

[sami200456boyfriend]

I think in my opinion the guys do it for fun, and the woman are the regular damsels

[DeeperThanRed]

I think in my opinion the guys do it for fun, and the woman are the regular damsels

I may not know much about how women approach tie-ups but I sure do hope that they are also participating in bondage plays for fun.

It seems unlikely that they allow themselves to be tied up if it's not enjoyable to them, which should apply to all genders.

[ExcessivelyCurious]

Yeah, ultimately a good chunk of it is still the same. People do it for fun - often but not always sexually. Some enjoy being tied up, others tying other people up. That part at least exists regardless of gender.

[Windrunner]

I'm fortunate enough to have both a partner who is an occasional bondage enthusiast, a couple friends who are even more so, and a couple of local community groups that are very diverse.

My female partner usually prefers to tie me than to be tied. When she's tying me, she wants me to be unable to escape, and just have to "stew" until she decides to let me free. When she hints that maybe I could just possibly catch her and tie her up, usually that happens pretty quickly, and either it ends up with a quick impromptu tie followed by happy time, or a little more elaborate - maybe a rope harness or some scarves used in a way that is as much about how it looks as it is making her helpless to whatever extent.

I'm bi, so I also have a couple of guy friends who I tie and get tied by. With them, doesn't make a difference who is tying who, it's intended to be inescapable, and things like leather restraints and hoods and cuffs are likely to be a part of it.

One fun exception is a crossdresser I used to meet with occasionally. Usually I would tie "her" up, and ravish her while she was completely helpless to do a thing about it. Lots of scarves and gentle but inescapable bondage. A couple of times she turned the tables on me, and she would make a point of doing something like tying my wrists with pink satin ribbons or the like, and both of us very much were into the "oh look, I've made the big strong captor so utterly helpless with a frilly little ribbon" and we both loved it.

[captured_prize]

Yeah, ultimately a good chunk of it is still the same. People do it for fun - often but not always sexually. Some enjoy being tied up, others tying other people up. That part at least exists regardless of gender.

No doubt about it. As a crossdresser, I've always wondered what I would be like if I had been born female. My biggest question is whether or not I would still enjoy bondage as a biological woman.

The conclusion I've come to that, yes, I would still love bondage very much. It's just how my brain has been wired and I just don't see that changing whether I'm a man or a woman. I could see me having slightly different tastes and preferences, but the desire and joy I have for bondage would be the same no matter what gender I am.