How accepted in bondage in society?

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tiedjay

How accepted in bondage in society?

Post by tiedjay »

Hiya,

I was wondering how accepted you think bondage is (outside of this community) My view it i one of the more widely held fetishes even if most people won't admit to it. Most girls I have talked to have been totally into the idea it seems. What are your experiences? Bondage widely accepted or no?
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Post by FelixSH »

As a fetish, it seems to be pretty widely accepted, at least in the bigger cities. Just a guess, of course, but for me it's generally possible to talk with people about it.

As a fun activity, outside of sexual context? Not accepted at all. Most people won't even acknowledge the possibility of tying someone up, outside of having sex. They can't imagine, that it might be just a fun activity, or have other nice perks, like as a meditative device.
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Post by NabHer »

The way I see it, it has become much more prevalent (and accepted) ever since 50 shades of grey became a thing despite it's gross misinterpretation of the whole d/s dynamic. Like whenever I bring it up people usually aren't even surprised. They either ask questions or go "cool" and move on.

It certainly doesn't get the same amount of hate as foot fetish gets either.
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Post by RotiferTape »

I think as a whole it’s getting more accepted as a normal kink or activity. Where I come from, not so much. I’m originally from a small desert town in Arizona that’s highly conservative and Christian. So pretty much any activity that’s not “normal” is a sin. I remember as a kid, simply hugging someone is a huge no. So I can’t imagine the backlash I would get if I admitted I like being tied up, especially back then.
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Post by sylvias »

Bondage is practically BDSM’s poster child to the general public. Just go to the TV Tropes page for ‘Casual Kink’ and one in every three entries has something to do with handcuffs :D

I do wish that non-sexual bondage is seen as less of an oddity, like [mention]FelixSH[/mention] said, but meditative bondage has had articles about it for years, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes more accepted as meditation in general grows in popularity.
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Post by SinfulSloth »

I still feel there are still a lot of misconceptions that have to be worked out, but overall I feel as though bondage is acceptable as a fetish/sexual thing. However as an everyday activity with no sexual overtones it's not as accepted, which I personally find bizarre that people are more willing to accept it as a fetish than a hobby.
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Post by ExcessivelyCurious »

It's still a "weird sex thing" (yes, I know it's not a sex thing for everyone, but it is for a lot, and people who aren't in the know probably think it is) so there's still a good deal of taboo about it, but I reckon it's probably the most accepted fetish.

Of the few people I know IRL who I'm willing to talk about intimate matters with, it has been bought up without much fanfare.

50 Shades of Grey was definitely a big thing for the general public's perception of bondage. It is, however, worth noting that it's not a very good depiction of BDSM, and plenty of people who were already into BDSM were less than fond of it.
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Post by Tieup1 »

In my experience, I think most people think tying people up, or being tied yourself, is a weird thing to do. Whether or not it is a sexual thing for you, they see it as a kinky sex act. Its a shame some of them don't try it, perhaps they might even like it :)

I wonder how many of us on this board, tell others about how we enjoy various types of bondage. ?

Not many, I'll wager :o
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Post by WillHBonney »

Tieup1 wrote: 3 years ago In my experience, I think most people think tying people up, or being tied yourself, is a weird thing to do. Whether or not it is a sexual thing for you, they see it as a kinky sex act. Its a shame some of them don't try it, perhaps they might even like it :)

I wonder how many of us on this board, tell others about how we enjoy various types of bondage. ?

Not many, I'll wager :o
This is something I've often wondered myself. I agree with you that I think generally bondage is perceived as a sexual thing. Which always makes me wonder when people on this forum talk about participating in bondage with people outside of their relationships, how the person (friend, family member etc) reacted to the initial suggestion of bondage?
Were they weirded out initially?
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Post by tiedjay »

I agree, it's really strange that as a sexual fetish it seems to be very widely accepted (maybe the most acceptable face of fetishes?) but whenever I have told anyone about tie ups in a non sexual context I tend to get a more confused reaction. I think people don't really understand why someone would want to be tied/tie someone up if it weren't for some sort of sexual scenario and thus it weirds them out..
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Post by FelixSH »

WillHBonney wrote: 3 years ago This is something I've often wondered myself. I agree with you that I think generally bondage is perceived as a sexual thing. Which always makes me wonder when people on this forum talk about participating in bondage with people outside of their relationships, how the person (friend, family member etc) reacted to the initial suggestion of bondage?
Were they weirded out initially?
I asked two of my friends, relatively early in even, if they maybe would be interested in tying me up. I also added, of course, that it's completely ok to say no. Which they did, but they didn't seem to be too uncomfortable with the question. I think we even talked about what I get out of it, but then let the topic drop. Honestly, if a friendship goes to pieces, just because I ask a question with the explicit mention that a "no" is fine, it's probably a person I'm not that interested in anyway.

I didn't ask anyone else, but I don't have much of a problem with mentionening it, when it's relevant to the topic. I treat it similar to how I tell others about my homosexuality, I just mention it if it would make sense, in the context of what we are talking about right now.

I did tell both of my friends that I'm writing stories for this board, though. One of them expressed interest in reading stuff, and he gave me pretty good feedback. I already have sent him two more stories, and guess that I will be getting feedback tomorrow.

It might help, that bondage isn't really a focus in my stories, but more part of everything. I don't think I have any extensive torture scenes in my stories. My friend compared it to how Stephen King describes corpses (or something, I already forgot). Or how Tolkien describes landscapes. It's just some added detail, but not overbearingly so.
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Post by Coolbr »

Like anything else, anything between consenting adults should be ok. At the same time, while I’m guessing a substantial majority of folks have fetishes, society hasn’t figured out how to deal with/accept them in a healthy manner.
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Post by drawscore »

Peoples' minds are screwed up. They see kids acting out tie up scenes from what they've seen on TV and the movies, and think it's perverted. They see the same thing on TV or in the movies, with the captive being anywhere between 8 and 80, and never bat an eye.

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Post by sophie »

İt is fun and scary. You can do for game or +18 🔞.
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Post by shyguy92 »

Depends greatly on where you are and what the situation is.

Like RotiferTape up there I come from a very conservative area where any real deviation from "normal" can be judged pretty harshly.

In more open minded places it's relatively accepted these days, though almost entirely as a fetish. Seems the general public still very much sees it as a sex thing when done by older teenagers and/or adults. Younger kids can get away with a lot more and have it still be considered innocent.

I know it IS at least partially a sexual activity for many, and that's perfectly fine! I just wish that wasn't the default assumption.

I personally still feel a lot of social pressure to keep it quiet, and shame were it to be discovered. Even my closest friends for the most part don't know.
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Post by Minerva »

Here in Romania it probably isn't. It's a very conservative country,and you'd probably get made fun of for that. I know that my friends would probably be accepting.
Weirdly enough,I am completely asexual (for all I know),and I like bondage only for the tying up component,I think that makes me even more of a "freak" in society's eyes.
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Post by KaceyBoots »

There's probably just as much bondage going on in those "conservative" towns and countries as in liberal societies - just behind closed doors and harder to find.
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Post by Gagfan »

Its probably one of the, if not the most, common sexual fetish but a lot of places are pretty prudish about anything sexual
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Post by NabHer »

KaceyBoots wrote: 3 years ago There's probably just as much bondage going on in those "conservative" towns and countries as in liberal societies - just behind closed doors and harder to find.
On that note, I know this is purely anecdotal but the majority of the folks that I either played with (IRL) or met over this particular topic happened to either live in a conservative household, town or identify as one themselves. They simply prefer to keep it to themselves and only bring it up with people that they trust with their lives.
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Post by ricktied »

I have found that it may depend on where you live as well. I live in Minnesota and people here seem to have a comfort zone they aren't willing to leave. I.E. you mention it to someone here they are creeped out. I've also lived in Colorado, Louisiana, and Germany where there was a more open mind about the subject. I've tied more people up outside Minnesota than I have while I've lived here.
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Post by MtnReign »

Minerva wrote: 3 years ago Here in Romania it probably isn't. It's a very conservative country,and you'd probably get made fun of for that. I know that my friends would probably be accepting.
Weirdly enough,I am completely asexual (for all I know),and I like bondage only for the tying up component,I think that makes me even more of a "freak" in society's eyes.
I apologize for the necro, but I'm genuinely surprised to find someone who sees bondage the same way that I do, and I wish there was a term for this exact feeling. I steered clear of the overall bdsm community because I wasn't interested in anything beyond the bondage aspect of it. I am also asexual and part of realizing that was accepting that bondage was the extent of my interests.
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Post by Minerva »

MtnReign wrote: 2 years ago I apologize for the necro, but I'm genuinely surprised to find someone who sees bondage the same way that I do, and I wish there was a term for this exact feeling. I steered clear of the overall bdsm community because I wasn't interested in anything beyond the bondage aspect of it. I am also asexual and part of realizing that was accepting that bondage was the extent of my interests.
Don't apologize, it's fine.
Ironically, since then I've dropped the asexual mantra, and I'm probably one of the horniest people around here. I also have irl friends who now know and accept my bondage side, and more.

Though,I still feel like what I said back then is at least partially true. It's still "freakish" to like bondage non-sexually. Just ask my ex lol.
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Post by illest »

I feel like people generally ridicule what they don't understand. Combine that with the many different layers that bondage entails, which anyone who even likes bondage probably has different aspects of bondage that they aren't into, and it becomes complicated. I feel like a lot of the general public when they think of bondage think of latex, corsets, blindfolds, whips, chains, the enjoyment of pain, bright red lipstick, candle wax, spikes, hoods, ballgags, and ponyplay.

Now I consider myself a bondage fanatic(don't go a day without watching at least a few videos or admiring new DA drawings), but roughly 90% of the aforementioned I'm not even really into. I prefer a really cute girly look in captives; almost overbearingly cute. Large gags either OTM, OTM, wrap or tape. You rarely see stuff gags done proper in standard media. Not a fan of handcuffs or chains; prefer rope or tape. Just recently got into liking collars. Prefer tight rope ties or hogties. Not even into watching full blown sex in bondage. Do like groping or if there's a conviently placed vibrator tied to them. The general thing is there's so many layers of bondage that the general public doesn't understand.

One thing I found interesting is there was a meme photo a while back that was called "What in the 50 Shades of Section 8 is this?" It shows a black woman(being black, for some reason bondage is looked at especially weird imo by the general black community) bound with rope to her ceiling in a sitting position by rope and gagged. A lot of people on the timeline thought it was funny and posted laugh emojis but I myself did not only not find it funny but was extremely attracted to it, to the point that I'm probably going to use it as the basis for a future drawing.
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Post by MtnReign »

Minerva wrote: 2 years ago
MtnReign wrote: 2 years ago I apologize for the necro, but I'm genuinely surprised to find someone who sees bondage the same way that I do, and I wish there was a term for this exact feeling. I steered clear of the overall bdsm community because I wasn't interested in anything beyond the bondage aspect of it. I am also asexual and part of realizing that was accepting that bondage was the extent of my interests.
Don't apologize, it's fine.
Ironically, since then I've dropped the asexual mantra, and I'm probably one of the horniest people around here. I also have irl friends who now know and accept my bondage side, and more.

Though,I still feel like what I said back then is at least partially true. It's still "freakish" to like bondage non-sexually. Just ask my ex lol.

See I'm still on the fence but it's the most accurate description of how it feels. That being said, I totally feel that second part lmao
It just seems like bondage is the only outlet for those sort of feelings. I'm glad you have friends who accept you for that and indulge you, I'm still working that part out with people I know irl.
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Post by sami200456boyfriend »

It depends on who it is
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