Sexuality and Tie-ups

[jafib]

So for me, bondage and sexuality are inseparable (nudity is not required, but also almost always sexual for me).
Any tie-up I like (so as long as it is not old men - as a straight western male I much prefer females but for some reason I find captured boys interesting, too) carries some arousal with it, even if there is nothing sexual about it (like a kidnapping in a movie).
Now I have talked to people with different viewpoints, I am wondering how common this is? What is your experience?

[BandG]

Any bondage scenario can be arousing to me. If I'm watching a show or film and anyone gets tied up and gagged inside I'm very excited. Obviously I'm more excited if it's an attractive woman as opposed to a man but still if it was a man I could get turned on imagining myself in that predicament.

[sami200456boyfriend]

It works sometimes

[Damsel-Dilara-Dee]

TUGs and bondage are intertwined with arousal and sexual excitement for me. I cannot remove that aspect from TUGs, so if I were to be tied I would find the experience arousing and I would tie another as an act of intimacy. Being on this forum I have been interested to see perspectives of people who have asexual experiences with TUGs, as I cannot imagine it.

[Treville]

It´s definitely a sexual experience for me. I can be tied up without any sex involved, but I will still get aroused.

Pictures of women in bondage almost always turns me on, and some situation with tied-up men. As someone else said in this thread, then I sort of identify myself with the guy. But it depends on the scene and the situation.

[captured_prize]

I definitely get aroused by bondage and TUGs. The physical feeling of being tied up as well as being gagged is a turn-on for me. What gets me going the most, however, is the ideas behind the bondage. For example, the idea of being kidnapped and the idea that my captor goes to great lengths to ensure I can't escape.

I also love seeing women bound and gagged, but what excites me more than the actual image is imagining myself in their position. I come up with all kinds of scenarios in my head, some of which I act out in real life with self bondage. Images of women in bondage are maybe 20% a turn-on for me and 80% inspiration.

[Syko Sith]

It is usually a turn on. At least when I see a woman struggling helplessly.
Seeing a man bound and gagged isn't. When I see that, it is an inspiration for something I'd like to try.
With that said, the womans predicament can and has inspired me too.

[Nexus]

While I am able to separate bondage activity with sexual activity (I am able to have TUGs without any sex acts) bondage itself does illicit a sexual reaction from me inwardly. This is mainly why, being a hetero male, I choose only to play with females.

[andy]

For me it's something between sex and intimacy and also depends on the role. As a dom, it's far more sexual than as a sub, where it can also be some form of intimate "closeness" with the tier, that isn't sexual in nature.
Being straight, this only works with women for me, in both settings. Likewise, self-bondage is also something that doesn't do anything for me.

Like someone said before, I find it super interesting to see the various other approaches here on this board... We're all different.

[tiedinbluetights]

This is a hard question to answer simply, as there is a lot, in my personal case, to unpack.

For me, tie-ups and sexuality used to be mostly* separate. I played tie-ups, both by myself and with other kids around my age, since the age of 4! In fact, sexuality was mostly* a big unknown to me, until I hit puberty, when my sexual "awakening" during a self-tie-up almost ruined tie-ups for me.

I distinguish (and this is just my personal opinion, so take it with a grain of salt) "bondage" from "tie-ups." Tie-ups, or TUGs, for me at any rate, are more general and encompass all sorts of "games" where the underlying motivations and end purpose can be completely asexual; TUGs can be for their own sake (tie-ups just for the fun of being tied-up or tying-up others). Bondage, on the other hand, is a much more specific activity and can be a very loaded term, but as a subset of TUGs, all dictionaries I've consulted (OED, Merriam-Webster, Cambridge) emphasize a sexual pleasure component. Bondage, is the B in BDSM.

So as a kid, I always loved to play TUGs; would even go out of my way to get my cousins (but mostly* female cousins), whenever we met up, to tie me up. I'd enjoy being tied-up for as long as possible, until a bathroom break would become necessary. However, as we grew older, we slowly stopped playing TUGs together. I resorted to more frequent "self-TUGs" then. I enjoyed it; it brought me peace of mind, relaxation, and yes, excitement, especially when I strained against my bonds.

But then, around the age of 13, during one of those "self-TUG" sessions, which normally could last a couple of hours, all of sudden, within as little as 5 minutes only, the inevitable happened. Sex-ed, back when I was 13, and in my neck of the woods, was not common, and if it existed, was given by poorly trained teachers at the time (I don't blame them). I thought something was wrong with me, told my parents, and at the very old age of 13, got my first lesson about the birds and bees (yep I was pretty naive, and didn't question where I came from). I felt ashamed for some reason, and thought I'd never be able to play TUGs with others, or even just by myself, since the joy of being bound would lead to an uncontrollable response that would cut my enjoyment of being tied-up short.

It took me a while to start doing self-"bondage" again, because of the sexual angle. TUGs became bondage as in the B of BDSM because of the sexual angle that now seemed permanently entangled with the my tie-ups. My fantasies also became more sexual. I tried, during selfbondage sessions, to prolong the time it would take me to reach climax, or if I did climax, to resist the urge to untie myself. It took me to my early 30s, nearly two decades of practice, before I was able to do bondage sessions for extended periods of time without climax. I can now struggle against my bonds for hours, without worrying about a premature end to my enjoyment. I do enjoy the sexual aspects greatly, but want them delayed for as long as possible. Today, I can enjoy TUGs once more, even without any sexual aspects. Even if I don't get sexual release by the time the TUG is over, I still get the dopamine kick, and the zen-like feel that comes from a peaceful, relaxing, session.

*note: it is clear to me now that prior to my sexual awakening, there was still some hints of "sexual preferences." As a boy, I wanted to be tied-up, but much preferred that girls do the tying-up rather than boys; and in self-ties, I'd imagine that I was held captive by girls, not boys. This is in contrast to other games that didn't involve tie-ups where I preferred to play with other boys.

So, as I replied in another topic (https://tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=11702), it is this complex entanglement with sexuality that makes, in my humble opinion, bondage activities between consenting adults not fully 100% acceptable by any specific nation-wide society (but that's just my two cents, and hope that one day it will be fully acceptable).

[KidnappedCowboy]

I am a gay man.

As a kid, when I saw men tied and gagged in a movie or on a tv show, it excited me. I had GI Joe Action Figures that I used to tie up and gag like the men I saw in movies and on tv.

When I hit puberty and it began to dawn on me that I was gay, I began to understand why I enjoyed seeing men tied up and gagged. I began to tie myself up, gag myself, and fantasize about being the hero in peril or the dude in distress. I liked it.

I still like it!

[MtnReign]

I definitely feel obligated to reply to this one. I'm 24M and would consider myself asexual most of the time. Bondage and TUGS can be done without a sexual aspect to it, and in my experiences this is initially the case with the women I've tied up. I say initially because I may feel asexual but I don't lack arousal or desire, it's just entirely based upon bondage, and without it then there's no arousal. That being said and this is just my perspective, I would differentiate between a TUG and bondage, as bondage requires role-play and is inherently sexual whereas a TUG can have role-play but isn't inherently sexual.

[MrBind]

It doesn't have to be sexual.

Technically, it is, I guess. Look up "bondage" in the dictionary and you'll see either arousal or sexual pleasure. And, of course, that's what it is when we tie up our partners.

But it can be a game, too. I've tied up a couple friends and a couple relatives without there being an actual sexual component. So, for me anyway, it doesn't HAVE to be sexual.

[Silkyscarves]

A fantasy kidnapping with a real feel would be an amazing time spent with another dominant type person female or male older preferred myself,just something about being held captive for long periods tied tightly different positions and different gags excites so much thanks

[Silkyscarves]

Welsey75 kik name updated recently

[TieMeUpPls]

For me, arousal is always involved but for different reasons. For instance, with women I’m almost always the dom and am aroused at the sight of her being tied up. In my experience, all of those situations have been sexually charged although I’d be open to tying up a girl without doing sexual things. As for being tied, it depends. In self bondage, I’m always naked and extra aroused. If bound by another guy (which I’ve never been in real life aside from my brother when I was younger), I might still enjoy being nude and still get aroused but wouldn’t really want to be sexually touched or forced to do anything sexual. In the rare occasion a woman ties me, especially a cougar or MILF with tons of experience, then I’m fair game for whatever she wants!

[DuctTapeSilence]

To me, bondage itself is arousing (the term that applies to me is Vincilagnia). Being a straight male, seeing girls tied up is a turn on but, as someone else said on here, when a guy is tied up in a video, I try to imagine myself in that situation. I even do that in some of the stories I read on here that are first person. Even though my wife and I have incorporated bondage into our sex life, sex doesn’t have to be included as I can “get off” just when I’m tied up myself. I’m usually not naked as I always use duct tape but I always wear spandex clothing (leggings, yoga pants, spandex shirt, etc.) which is my other interest.