I feel like I need to dial this bondage thing back a little.

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illest
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I feel like I need to dial this bondage thing back a little.

Post by illest »

While I can't deny that I'll probably never be able to shelf it, I feel like I need to put it to the side for a while. If for nothing else than to show myself that I can put it to the side for a while. I feel like I'm getting in too deep with it.

Some mornings(like this morning for example), I'll literally wait for my wife to go to work and then tie myself up. I used to be fine with a simple setup but recently I've been gradually getting more elaborate. Sites like Boundhub and of course DeviantArt supply me with a endless amount of scenarios I want to try. What's worse is I'm figuring out recently that I have a femdom kink that might be more overpowering than being tied up in itself. I have a out-of-control imagination, so I constantly imagine myself as a guy being bullied by 4 women or my wife controlling me. As far as the femdom thing, my wife actually does that with me and occasionally some light bondage. She doesn't gag me most of the time which drives me nuts. Which is my other problem; she ties me just enough to tease me. I could tie myself up much better but I would probably creep her out to leave myself as a present to her.

I feel like I need to be more vanilla for a while, just to meet her needs. I know she's not really into bondage(though she's gotten eerily good at playful femdom talk and action lately). She goes above and beyond to satisfy my needs so I'm trying to at least do the same for her for a while. Plus cleaning up after self bondage to make sure I don't leave any suspicious ace bandages or rope in a miscellaneous place in our home is getting kinda old. It's going to just take one time for me to accidentally leave a ballgag out(starting to rue the day I discovered Sub-Shop) for things to get awkward.
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Trammel
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Post by Trammel »

If you are hiding it or hiding things from your spouse, yeah, it's time to dial it back and/or come clean.
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Post by uemndlr »

My wife isn't very much into it either. But we have a very honest relationship, and I'm happy I can talk with her, even about my darkest and weirdest desires. It's a weird feeling, embarrassing and exciting at the same time, explaining her what I'd like to try out.

Perhaps you can pick an appropriate time and talk with your wife about your wishes, or visit some kind of club or workshop together.
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JulieG
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Post by JulieG »

You mustn’t be dishonest in your relationship. Trust me, two divorces to m6 name. Either reign back, set up family safe settings in your internet, go for a run instead of browsing or self bondage.

OR

Confess to your wife. Maybe tie yourself up as a present when she gets home. If dh3 already ties you a bit she might play along.
illest
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Post by illest »

Thanks for the advice. Yeah, she knows about my love for bondage for the most part but she doesn't know it's to the point of self bondage. Thing is there has been periods that I've turned it off, whether for current living arrangements or lack of time or other situations. The main problems I deal with is A. I was doing this occasionally since my early teens, before I even knew I got a sexual kick out of it and B. in getting stuff for our bedroom fun I suddenly had access to things that I never got to try out.

She's been super understanding of everything else in our relationship so far so I'm sure I'll tell her eventually. Until then I'll probably settle for drawing the bondage scenarios that I'm interested in and surfing DA. She knows I like bondage and being tied up but just not to the point that I actively tie myself up.
illest
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Post by illest »

JulieG wrote: 1 year ago You mustn’t be dishonest in your relationship. Trust me, two divorces to m6 name. Either reign back, set up family safe settings in your internet, go for a run instead of browsing or self bondage.

OR

Confess to your wife. Maybe tie yourself up as a present when she gets home. If dh3 already ties you a bit she might play along.
I might just ask her teasingly what would she do if she came home and found me tied up sexually as a icebreaker. That way depending on her answer I might actually try it.
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