How open are you IRL about your love for tugs? Do you share with your friends or anyone about it? Curious how everyone else feels about this as for myself i get a terrifying but thrilling feeling anytime i am opening up about these certain passions. I opened up to my significant other pretty quickly when we first started dating (we were friends for quite a while beforehand) luckily she was very intrigued and we still have lots of tie up fun to this day. We keep it pretty hidden but some close friends of my wife know we are a bit kinky and will make some jokes here and there, a couple days ago her friend was trying to untangle some decorations and jokingly tossed them to my wife saying “here your good with knots untangle this” I turned bright red and stood in an awkard silence that i loved and hated at the same time haha. I love the idea of opening up more as the thought of having a good trusted friend binding and gagging my wife and I and leaving us to helplessly struggle is a huge fantasty of mine, but could be complicated as the stigma of tie ups is so sexualized that most seem to keep very private and intimate. The idea of doing it all for fun and not so much of a sexual way with the right group of people seems like so much fun so many possibilities and literal tie up game nights sound amazing haha.
How are you guys with your tug passions do you keep it very private or are you an open book?
Opening up and sharing the love of TUGS
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Tapedupcouple
- Centennial Club
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- Joined: 3 years ago
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radarlove67
- Centennial Club
- Posts: 252
- Joined: 6 years ago
- Location: Manchester, UK
I'm normally very private. I did tell some friends a long time ago, but I didn't share it with anyone after that. They were ok about it but it just felt like that it was something I wanted to keep to myself as I got older.
With a new partner I do enjoy the 'telling' part as a relationship develops, and I promised myself when I got divorced that I'd be more open with future partners. The internet has made things a bit easier, and I'm glad for younger TUGers that's it's easier to open up about it. But at my age, it's a bit more hit and miss. I've found you need to introduce the idea slowly and with care.
I do wonder whether any of my old school friends are in to TUGs, it would be funny to think that all through my adolescence one of my pals had been secretly in to the same things as me.
With a new partner I do enjoy the 'telling' part as a relationship develops, and I promised myself when I got divorced that I'd be more open with future partners. The internet has made things a bit easier, and I'm glad for younger TUGers that's it's easier to open up about it. But at my age, it's a bit more hit and miss. I've found you need to introduce the idea slowly and with care.
I do wonder whether any of my old school friends are in to TUGs, it would be funny to think that all through my adolescence one of my pals had been secretly in to the same things as me.
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honourthechapter1775
It's very difficult opening up about my love of tugs its something I feel very ashamed of and embarrassed about hence why I have only ever told a couple of people along the way. Most seem okay about it but we move on with conversation as though everything's normal afterwards we never really tend to dwell on the topic.
The problem is as you said the over sexualization makes people uncomfortable with the topic of it and yes whilst there are some sexual aspects involved within the contexts of bondage it doesn't have to be. It can be for fun instead of pleasure but maybe everyone is just a bit of a perv these days who frowns upon it. I mean there are a lot worse fetishes out there but still...
I mean I do get embarrassed about my hobbies a lot from time to time being a massive geek and all, heck I paint small miniature and battle them on the tabletop Warhammer if you've heard of it.
Yet bondage is a different story especially when it comes to relationships, I either tell my partner soon or mid way into the relationship between us. Thing is bondage gets a bad name because of being associated with that shit fifty shades with all the sado masochism. Whilst I appreciate some people maybe enjoy that aspect of it it doesn't mean everyone does.
I get scared of telling people because they'll either run for the hills or brand me as some kind of freakish weirdo.
So in the regards to the question in itself I find I'm more of a private person.
The problem is as you said the over sexualization makes people uncomfortable with the topic of it and yes whilst there are some sexual aspects involved within the contexts of bondage it doesn't have to be. It can be for fun instead of pleasure but maybe everyone is just a bit of a perv these days who frowns upon it. I mean there are a lot worse fetishes out there but still...
I mean I do get embarrassed about my hobbies a lot from time to time being a massive geek and all, heck I paint small miniature and battle them on the tabletop Warhammer if you've heard of it.
Yet bondage is a different story especially when it comes to relationships, I either tell my partner soon or mid way into the relationship between us. Thing is bondage gets a bad name because of being associated with that shit fifty shades with all the sado masochism. Whilst I appreciate some people maybe enjoy that aspect of it it doesn't mean everyone does.
I get scared of telling people because they'll either run for the hills or brand me as some kind of freakish weirdo.
So in the regards to the question in itself I find I'm more of a private person.
I've always kept it strictly private except for girls I've been in relationships with and even then none of them have ever known the extent of it. My wife has no idea I tie myself up a couple of times a month when she's at work. I have a secret bag of rope and duct tape hidden in the closet...
Like others I would feel no one really gets it unless you have that kink and it's virtually impossible to tell if someone does in real life.
Like others I would feel no one really gets it unless you have that kink and it's virtually impossible to tell if someone does in real life.
I had a love for bondage and tie up games since very little, from around 12 years old or something. I didn't give it too much tought until i was 14, when i realized that i loved bondage and tugs, and starting watching tug videos. Saddly, i was way too shy and insecure to talk about my love for bondage, so i just kept it for myself, i was way too insecure and i didn't had the best of self steem, so i was afraid of people calling me a freak for it.
One thing i would regret, is me not being able to open up about this thing (or my thing for feet) even to my ex-partner.
So, fast forward to this year i'm 26 and i have finally build some self steem, and i had met a lot of aweasome people, so i decided to open up, even if it would be a little to late. One day i opened up and talked about the topic with my university friend and his girlfriend (who was also my friend), they were very open about it and we talked about some of the selfbondage a did to myself with only tape. No tugs came out of that but at least someone finally knows about my kink.
The other day i went to the mall with a school friend, we arrived early to a burger shop so we were by ourselfs in the second floor, i knew that was the only oportunity i would get to talk about my kink of bondage, so i decided to take the oportunity and do so. And, he was very open about it too, heck, he even told me that he tied her ex-girlfriend before. He asked me how much i was willing to pay to have a session with a rando and i just answer that i need way more confidence to let someone tie me.
Funny enough, i have confidence with my friend and his gf and my school friend, and i would totally love if they were willing to tie me. I noticed that, even if told them my kink, i never asked them directly about tying me up. The girl that i'm friend with (the same girl i had talked about) said to me that if i wanted something about someone, i should be direct and just ask for it. And you know what?, she's totally right, i hope one day i have the courage to ask one of them (my friend and gf, or my school friend) to tie me up, who knows? , maybe i would finally get my first tug experience
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One thing i would regret, is me not being able to open up about this thing (or my thing for feet) even to my ex-partner.
So, fast forward to this year i'm 26 and i have finally build some self steem, and i had met a lot of aweasome people, so i decided to open up, even if it would be a little to late. One day i opened up and talked about the topic with my university friend and his girlfriend (who was also my friend), they were very open about it and we talked about some of the selfbondage a did to myself with only tape. No tugs came out of that but at least someone finally knows about my kink.
The other day i went to the mall with a school friend, we arrived early to a burger shop so we were by ourselfs in the second floor, i knew that was the only oportunity i would get to talk about my kink of bondage, so i decided to take the oportunity and do so. And, he was very open about it too, heck, he even told me that he tied her ex-girlfriend before. He asked me how much i was willing to pay to have a session with a rando and i just answer that i need way more confidence to let someone tie me.
Funny enough, i have confidence with my friend and his gf and my school friend, and i would totally love if they were willing to tie me. I noticed that, even if told them my kink, i never asked them directly about tying me up. The girl that i'm friend with (the same girl i had talked about) said to me that if i wanted something about someone, i should be direct and just ask for it. And you know what?, she's totally right, i hope one day i have the courage to ask one of them (my friend and gf, or my school friend) to tie me up, who knows? , maybe i would finally get my first tug experience
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WillHBonney
- Centennial Club
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- Joined: 4 years ago
The only person that knows about my enjoyment of being tied up is my ex. Even then, it's not something that I outright revealed one day. It was more a case of building it up over the years.
I initially asked that she tied my hands. Then after a while she started tying my legs too. Then a blindfold was added. And then a gag. Then eventually we were ordering all sorts from LoveHoney together.
Now that I'm single, it's something that I have thought about for when I do decide to start trying to meet someone.
It's definitely something I'd like for my next partner to be into. Which makes me wonder whether or not I should try using kink focused dating apps?
Alternatively, if I meet someone outside of a kink based dating app then I'd have to tell them at some point. But then that begs the question of when do you tell them?
Are you up front about it? In the same way that maybe you'd ask someone their favourite movie or whether they smoke or not? But then you're pretty much telling someone you don't really know about your secret kink. That's probably ok if it's someone you'll never meet again.
Or do you wait a while? But then you maybe risk ruining a good thing? Or they're not interested in trying it but you really like them so you're relegated to self bondage only.
My ex wasn't into bondage until after I introduced it so there's always the possibility that they grow to love it. However we were together for 3 years by the time I brought it up. At 27, I'm not willing to wait that length of time to reveal my kink.
Sorry, I've kinda waffled here and haven't really answered the OPs question. But thought I'd share my current situation. I guess for me it's a case of deciding how high up the list 'enjoys bondage' is for when I'm dating and then just seeing how things play out.
I initially asked that she tied my hands. Then after a while she started tying my legs too. Then a blindfold was added. And then a gag. Then eventually we were ordering all sorts from LoveHoney together.
Now that I'm single, it's something that I have thought about for when I do decide to start trying to meet someone.
It's definitely something I'd like for my next partner to be into. Which makes me wonder whether or not I should try using kink focused dating apps?
Alternatively, if I meet someone outside of a kink based dating app then I'd have to tell them at some point. But then that begs the question of when do you tell them?
Are you up front about it? In the same way that maybe you'd ask someone their favourite movie or whether they smoke or not? But then you're pretty much telling someone you don't really know about your secret kink. That's probably ok if it's someone you'll never meet again.
Or do you wait a while? But then you maybe risk ruining a good thing? Or they're not interested in trying it but you really like them so you're relegated to self bondage only.
My ex wasn't into bondage until after I introduced it so there's always the possibility that they grow to love it. However we were together for 3 years by the time I brought it up. At 27, I'm not willing to wait that length of time to reveal my kink.
Sorry, I've kinda waffled here and haven't really answered the OPs question. But thought I'd share my current situation. I guess for me it's a case of deciding how high up the list 'enjoys bondage' is for when I'm dating and then just seeing how things play out.
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Mr Underheel
- Centennial Club
- Posts: 341
- Joined: 6 years ago
[mention]WillHBonney[/mention]
Don’t make the mistake that I made, which was to undervalue TUGs’ importance to my overall happiness. I ended up with someone who thinks bondage is dirty and disgusting so it isn’t a part of my real life at all. I probably would have gone a different direction if I had realized how important it is to me and how repulsive it is to her. Ask openly early, in a soft way. Find out if there’s any openness to it at all. If she says that it’s gross and disgusting, you may want to go a different direction
Don’t make the mistake that I made, which was to undervalue TUGs’ importance to my overall happiness. I ended up with someone who thinks bondage is dirty and disgusting so it isn’t a part of my real life at all. I probably would have gone a different direction if I had realized how important it is to me and how repulsive it is to her. Ask openly early, in a soft way. Find out if there’s any openness to it at all. If she says that it’s gross and disgusting, you may want to go a different direction