I've been wanting to find someone for tie up games (non sexual) in my city for a while, but I've never really been sure how to go along with it. I made a Fetlife account, but I really never got much response as people are more into the sexual component of it. I've also made a Grindr account specifying it, but most of the messages I get are from faceless accounts which weirds me out.
Just wondering, how have you met your fellow tie up enthusiasts in person? I'd love to join like a group that meets up every couple of weeks to do it, but I just find it so difficult.
How did you find your tie up partner? (m/m)
Well, I've found a few people from this site. One of them doesn't live to far from me. Sadly for a couple of reasons (one, just the amount I work) we haven't been able to get together aside from meeting for lunch last year. We had commented on a story and I noticed his listed location wasnt far from me so I just shot him a message and we eneded up connecting.
Similar with another guy, just the fact he lives much further away. We've only chatted online but we do have some plans on meeting later this year but nothing is set in stone yet. There's a 3rd guy I've been chatting with too but it's unclear if we'll ever meet.
I do want to respond to your comment about faceless accounts. Out of the 3 guys I chat with, none of us knew what each other looked like prior to chatting for awhile. We had been chatting here for a while but ultimately moved our chats to another platform which is where we shared more information about ourselves. Do take caution with faceless accounts but I wouldn't entirely rule them out. In my case, it did work. Some people, just like myself, don't want their faces all over the web.
Sorry I can't provide you with more information. But just know, there's other's out there just like you that are not interested in bondage being sexual. It's just the matter of finding them
Similar with another guy, just the fact he lives much further away. We've only chatted online but we do have some plans on meeting later this year but nothing is set in stone yet. There's a 3rd guy I've been chatting with too but it's unclear if we'll ever meet.
I do want to respond to your comment about faceless accounts. Out of the 3 guys I chat with, none of us knew what each other looked like prior to chatting for awhile. We had been chatting here for a while but ultimately moved our chats to another platform which is where we shared more information about ourselves. Do take caution with faceless accounts but I wouldn't entirely rule them out. In my case, it did work. Some people, just like myself, don't want their faces all over the web.
Sorry I can't provide you with more information. But just know, there's other's out there just like you that are not interested in bondage being sexual. It's just the matter of finding them
Last edited by Red86 1 year ago, edited 1 time in total.
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ExcessivelyCurious
- Centennial Club
- Posts: 164
- Joined: 4 years ago
- Location: East Midlands, UK
While I still don't have a consistent long-term tie-up partner, the few people I've done stuff with came from a small variety of different places. It's worth noting that some of these were sexual, as the majority of people looking for this kind of thing want that; however, there are some people out there who want non-sexual bondage encounters, and I personally can go either way.
One came from this website; we chatted in private messages for a while and eventually met up in a hotel. Granted, we have not met again since.
I've met a few people off of Grindr. This feels riskier and I'm not entirely sure if I'd recommend it to other people, but I have found a few play partners this way. Similarly, a gat fetish website called Recon, although that seems to average even more intense and sexual.
Fetlife is a mixed one. Honestly, I do not like it as a website and randomly messaging people you haven't met isn't likely to work. However, Fetlife does have groups and event listings, which allowed me to find and attend IRL kink events in my city. Munches (events where kinky people meet in an entirely SFW bar setting) were quite helpful, as it let me actually meet people in a safer, more relaxed setting. My university also now has a fetish society that provided a similar purpose, but most people won't have access to one of those. Both groups also offered educational sessions, which was nice.
Anonymity is a problem. Ideally you want to talk to a person for a while and get to know them a little bit, so you can be more sure of safety. I insist on seeing somebody's face before actually meeting them, but I don't mind chatting for a while without seeing it, and many people won't show it until they think they can trust you.
One came from this website; we chatted in private messages for a while and eventually met up in a hotel. Granted, we have not met again since.
I've met a few people off of Grindr. This feels riskier and I'm not entirely sure if I'd recommend it to other people, but I have found a few play partners this way. Similarly, a gat fetish website called Recon, although that seems to average even more intense and sexual.
Fetlife is a mixed one. Honestly, I do not like it as a website and randomly messaging people you haven't met isn't likely to work. However, Fetlife does have groups and event listings, which allowed me to find and attend IRL kink events in my city. Munches (events where kinky people meet in an entirely SFW bar setting) were quite helpful, as it let me actually meet people in a safer, more relaxed setting. My university also now has a fetish society that provided a similar purpose, but most people won't have access to one of those. Both groups also offered educational sessions, which was nice.
Anonymity is a problem. Ideally you want to talk to a person for a while and get to know them a little bit, so you can be more sure of safety. I insist on seeing somebody's face before actually meeting them, but I don't mind chatting for a while without seeing it, and many people won't show it until they think they can trust you.
I know its not always a popular view, but I believe it may be more sensible to consider asking someone you know and trust who loves you to assist you with this, especially if you are just looking for bondage and not sex. Even though not all of them will find it as much fun as you (though for some it grows on them after a couple times) they will often oblige you knowing they have deviant aspects of their own.
Lots of good advice above for approaching the online route. Just be careful.
Lots of good advice above for approaching the online route. Just be careful.
33/m/rope bunny Always willing to answer questions and provide guidance where it is requested.