Bondage ++

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Bunnyo

Bondage ++

Post by Bunnyo »

Bondage has many "extensions" to it, it can be used for evil reasons, it can be used as a fun game in a platonic relationship, it can be used in a sexual way, romantically or as pure art.
What is your preference and what do you think the "crowd's" opinion is on it?
Do you think it should be more accepted? Do you think it should still be a more intimate/ taboo thing ?
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Post by Red86 »

I personally enjoy bondage as a fun non sexual game. Not saying it can't be enjoyed as a romantic and sexual thing but since I mainly only play with other guys, I prefer it non sexual.

I wish it was more acceptable in the publics eyes and that most people would stop automatically assuming bondage equals intimacy and sex. Sure it's not as taboo as it once was but it still could be more accepted.
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Post by BandG »

I think predominantly bondage is seen as sexual. The idea of tying someone up just for enjoyment with no sexual end to it I don't think many understand or will ever understand unless they have the kink.

Unfortunately I do think a man being into bondage is still considered by many to be abusive or that they are a freak/want to force themselves on women.

I don't know how that changes.
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Post by captured_prize »

I think if more people did some research and learned how the bdsm community works, there would be more acceptance of if. As others have said, there is less of a stigma against it now than in the past, but ignorance of it still remains.
BandG wrote: 1 year ago
Unfortunately I do think a man being into bondage is still considered by many to be abusive or that they are a freak/want to force themselves on women.
This is part of the reason I'm not open about my intetest in bondage outside a few circles.
Just your average crossdressing damsel in distress...

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Post by Terry »

Very few people know about my interest and I never call it bondage either. I just simply call it "being tied up" or that I like when characters are tied up.
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Post by PanelGaggedPrincess »

captured_prize wrote: 1 year ago I think if more people did some research and learned how the bdsm community works, there would be more acceptance of if.
I couldn't have said it better myself. If someone saw me doing bdsm without any knowledge of how it works or no context, they would likely assume I was being abused. Of course that's not the case at all.
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Post by Tieup1 »

I still think Bondage is a taboo subject. A lot of people think it is for perverts, and it is not normal. If people knew more about it, and had more understanding about how people get enjoyment from it, they might find it more acceptable.
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Post by PrinceProdigal »

Most people I've met are hostile towards it and judgmental of any one more open-minded. All over the USA, including so-called liberal places. And I also don't see how this changes.
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Post by PanelGaggedPrincess »

PrinceProdigal wrote: 1 year ago Most people I've met are hostile towards it and judgmental of any one more open-minded. All over the USA, including so-called liberal places. And I also don't see how this changes.
Honestly if I had a choice between telling someone I was into bondage or I was bi, I would much rather tell them I'm bi.
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Post by PrinceProdigal »

I know, right? Telling someone I were bi or gay would create no issues at all in my communities.
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Post by tiedinbluetights »

Bunnyo wrote: 1 year ago Bondage has many "extensions" to it, it can be used for evil reasons, it can be used as a fun game in a platonic relationship, it can be used in a sexual way, romantically or as pure art.
What is your preference and what do you think the "crowd's" opinion is on it?
Do you think it should be more accepted? Do you think it should still be a more intimate/ taboo thing ?
I do believe bondage should be more accepted, both as a purely asexual and fun activity amongst caring and consenting individuals, and as a romantic or sexual activity between caring and consenting adults. I believe that for a while, it grew more acceptable. But I sense tides a changing, and tie-up games are once again being fast pushed back into the realm of the taboo.
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Post by rtbw »

I honestly can't see bondage except in a sexual context...it's the only way I know how to enjoy being tied up. I believe people who say they enjoy TUGs in a nonsexual way, but I think most people out there are like me in how bondage is viewed.

I think bondage is becoming more accepted but only in the context of what happens in the bedroom. That's why you can see bondage attire and materials on yandy.com and even on the Victoria's Secret site.

With that said, it seems to me that people generally treat bondage like most other intimate things that consenting adults do with each other...as things to be discussed quietly and with much discretion. It's sad I can't talk about my desire for bondage with people, but I accept it because I also wouldn't talk with people about my preferred sex positions or how we stimulate each other in bed.

Maybe one day bondage can become more accepted in the nonsexual context too, but I think that day can only come when the topic can be discussed openly outside the realm of the bedroom.
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Post by sami200456boyfriend »

It should be more accepted.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Do not disagree that it should be more accepted, but to be fair, what other answer would you really expect here?

The reality however is that while there probably are a decent amount of people who might be into bondage if they were introduced to it properly, I still suspect that a majority* would never 'get it'. And most people are very leery (at best) towards things they do not understand. Just the way things are.

*To be fair, I suspect that if one expands this to 'any sort of kinks' I think almost everyone would find *something* they are interested in. But the question was specific to bondage.

Of course popular depictions in media of BDSM are generally pretty awful/badly misrepresent the scene, which does not help, since like it or not that is what most people will be exposed to first. The problem is even a '101 introduction' is quite complex.

At the end of the day I would find it quite strange if it were accepted as a casual topic, but the current situation is obviously not ideal, with people basically having to hide away and be careful about such things out of fear of being ostracized.

There are few things as psychologically stressful as feeling isolated in such a way, not being able to speak about or share such interests with anyone - we all have a desire to fit in, even if we will usually not admit it. And on the flip side, few things are as liberating/rewarding as finding out/feeling that you are not alone, something the internet has certainly helped with.
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Post by tiedinbluetights »

BlissfulMisery wrote: 1 year ago Do not disagree that it should be more accepted, but to be fair, what other answer would you really expect here?

The reality however is that while there probably are a decent amount of people who might be into bondage if they were introduced to it properly, I still suspect that a majority* would never 'get it'. And most people are very leery (at best) towards things they do not understand. Just the way things are.

*To be fair, I suspect that if one expands this to 'any sort of kinks' I think almost everyone would find *something* they are interested in. But the question was specific to bondage.

Of course popular depictions in media of BDSM are generally pretty awful/badly misrepresent the scene, which does not help, since like it or not that is what most people will be exposed to first. The problem is even a '101 introduction' is quite complex.

At the end of the day I would find it quite strange if it were accepted as a casual topic, but the current situation is obviously not ideal, with people basically having to hide away and be careful about such things out of fear of being ostracized.

There are few things as psychologically stressful as feeling isolated in such a way, not being able to speak about or share such interests with anyone - we all have a desire to fit in, even if we will usually not admit it. And on the flip side, few things are as liberating/rewarding as finding out/feeling that you are not alone, something the internet has certainly helped with.
rtbw wrote: 1 year ago I honestly can't see bondage except in a sexual context...it's the only way I know how to enjoy being tied up. I believe people who say they enjoy TUGs in a nonsexual way, but I think most people out there are like me in how bondage is viewed.

I think bondage is becoming more accepted but only in the context of what happens in the bedroom. That's why you can see bondage attire and materials on yandy.com and even on the Victoria's Secret site.

With that said, it seems to me that people generally treat bondage like most other intimate things that consenting adults do with each other...as things to be discussed quietly and with much discretion. It's sad I can't talk about my desire for bondage with people, but I accept it because I also wouldn't talk with people about my preferred sex positions or how we stimulate each other in bed.

Maybe one day bondage can become more accepted in the nonsexual context too, but I think that day can only come when the topic can be discussed openly outside the realm of the bedroom.
Thanks [mention]BlissfulMisery[/mention] and [mention]rtbw[/mention] for each expressing so eloquently what's at the heart of the resistance to greater societal acceptance of bondage games. Indeed! thank the Internet and forums like these that allow for tie up game lovers to not feel too isolated.
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Post by WillHBonney »

Bondage has always been a sexual thing for me. Being tied up or tying someone up turns me on. Sex doesn't need to be involved at all, I'm quite happy to be tied up without any sex involved.

As for the crowd, I reckon most people will see it as a sexual thing. Most likely due to things like 50 shades.
I think a lot of people 'on the outside' would struggle to understand why someone would enjoy being tied up for anything other than sexual. But there are people who can't understand why someone would enjoy video games. Or watching football. Everyone's different.

I believe sexual bondage is a spectrum too. Probably when the crowd hear the word 'bondage' they think of leather, latex, chains, whips, spanking paddles etc.

As for acceptance and taboo, I think they're kinda different things. I think bondage is pretty well accepted (at least where I live it is). If I told my friends I was into bondage I'm sure they wouldn't bat an eye lid. I haven't told anyone about my kink because it's my business, not because of any oppression or fear of being judged. There's probably a high possibility that one of my friends has the same kink as me.
Do I think it's taboo, a bit. But because I see it as a kink, it's not something I'd casually discuss with people. In the same way you don't really talk about what you get up to in the bedroom to your work colleagues.

One thing that I think might affect the public's opinion of bondage over any other common kinks is that with bondage you are, as the sub at least, really putting your life in the hands of another person. And I think it's so so so important that people are aware of that and don't put themselves into potentially dangerous situations. I'm starting to sound like one of those 'never leave the house because the whole world is trying to kill you' doom-mongers but I do think it's such an important thing to consider.
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Post by Racer »

I have been Tied up for three different reasons, against my will, for a sexual game and for meditation.

For sexual games I think bondage is more accepted, if you are a dom, Than a sub. The few friends of mine who know I like to be Tied up, think it’s weird. (But they both love tying others up🤷‍♂️)

For meditative reasons I hope it will be more accepted. It really works for me, and I think we will see more of that☺️
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Post by AmyRu »

For me it is purely sexual fun. I do enjoy the Dom/sub dynamic, but that isn’t always necessary. It’s just harmless fun between consenting adults. While I try not to “worry” about what others think, only a few people in the world know that I love it because I don’t want to deal with their judgments. The secrecy probably limits my activity, though
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Post by Bunnyo »

AmyRu wrote: 1 year ago For me it is purely sexual fun. I do enjoy the Dom/sub dynamic, but that isn’t always necessary. It’s just harmless fun between consenting adults. While I try not to “worry” about what others think, only a few people in the world know that I love it because I don’t want to deal with their judgments. The secrecy probably limits my activity, though
Dealing with other people's judgement is a chore that shouldn't exist.
I also wish it wasn't considered such a big deal...after all, its a hobby😄
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Post by uemndlr »

Racer wrote: 1 year ago I have been Tied up for three different reasons, against my will, for a sexual game and for meditation.

For sexual games I think bondage is more accepted, if you are a dom, Than a sub. The few friends of mine who know I like to be Tied up, think it’s weird. (But they both love tying others up🤷‍♂️)

For meditative reasons I hope it will be more accepted. It really works for me, and I think we will see more of that☺️
Meditative bondage is totally a thing. Look here:
https://tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=5913
https://tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=3562

There are some nice articles and videos linked in those threads.
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Post by Ty_R_Upp »

AmyRu wrote: 1 year ago For me it is purely sexual fun. I do enjoy the Dom/sub dynamic, but that isn’t always necessary. It’s just harmless fun between consenting adults. While I try not to “worry” about what others think, only a few people in the world know that I love it because I don’t want to deal with their judgments. The secrecy probably limits my activity, though
I could have written this, myself. The only difference would have been that, as a lover of "Damsel in Distress/Peril" bondage, I would exchange the "Dom/sub" dynamic, for the "Villain/Damsel" dynamic. I heartily endorse and identify with everything else you said here!
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Post by AmyRu »

Ty_R_Upp wrote: 1 year ago
AmyRu wrote: 1 year ago For me it is purely sexual fun. I do enjoy the Dom/sub dynamic, but that isn’t always necessary. It’s just harmless fun between consenting adults. While I try not to “worry” about what others think, only a few people in the world know that I love it because I don’t want to deal with their judgments. The secrecy probably limits my activity, though
I could have written this, myself. The only difference would have been that, as a lover of "Damsel in Distress/Peril" bondage, I would exchange the "Dom/sub" dynamic, for the "Villain/Damsel" dynamic. I heartily endorse and identify with everything else you said here!
“Villain/Damsel definitely works as roles. I very much enjoy that sort of play as well.
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Post by Ty_R_Upp »

:D

Like minds, I think.

I have always enjoyed the scene with a Villain and a Bound Damsel alone together in a warehouse, with him teasing and taunting her while she bravely resists, and refuses to 'sign the papers', or to become his unwilling bride. His final, desperate ploy to carry her to the 'cutting room' floor, to give her one last chance :cry: :o , before switching on the conveyor belt.

Will she be rescued? Of course she will, it's a Damsel in Distress story. Damsels always survive their perils, in my imagination.

The fun is in the journey, and in the suspense, at the end! :D
Be well.
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Post by JulieG »

I did not start getting tied up till my thirties, so it has always had a special side for me. I know you can have playful tie ups like children doing escape challenges or playing cops and ronners, or pitting teachers in the stocks and throwing sponges at them for school fairs. But. I now always look at the serial side of it, and can't think of tie ups as wholly nknsexual.
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