You are the hero/ heroine (F/M?)

[Stiletto Amore]

It gets a bad press, but all things considered, being chloroformed isn’t so bad. At least, not really.

It’s the waking up afterwards that really sucks a lemon.

You’re dizzy, your head hurts and your mouth is drier than an Oscar Wilde quip.

In short, it’s like a hangover without all the fun and expense of actually getting drunk.

Oh, and it’s pitch black.

That’s strange, I thought to myself - I could have sworn it was lunchtime when I was snatched up and bundled into the back of a van.

How long had I been unconscious I wondered idly?

And more importantly, had my flatmate remembered to tape the final of Bake Off for me?

It quickly became clear that I'd been blindfolded.

Clearly someone didn’t want me to know where I was being taken.

Maybe it was a Birthday surprise, I mused. Although, technically speaking, it wasn’t my birthday for another six months,..

Still that just means it would be an ever bigger surprise,..


After a while the van stopped and the side door was pulled open.


“You can take the blindfold off now Dear” Came a sweet, soothing voice like honey.

It was the kind of voice you might hear selling New Age medicine on a late night infomercial.

I suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to give this woman half of everything I owned.


Cautiously, I reached up and pulled down the scarf that had been tied over my eyes.

A rather expensive Hermes silk scarf I noted approvingly as I struggled to untie the knot.

It smelt like a warm Mediterranean evening.

Clearly this woman had lavish tastes.

Not that I minded. I would have gladly robbed a bank if she asked.

Needless to say, I hoped she wouldn’t ask.


The voice belonged to a tan 30 something young woman, 5’7 with sleek, jet black hair that cascaded down her back like a waterfall.

Her skin was deathly pale, her lips a kiss of blood red and she was wearing a dress so tight it could stop traffic.

“Do you mind?” She asked


All of a sudden I became aware that I had (unconsciously I assure you) pocketed the scarf.


“Oh,” I stammered, rather pathetically “Did you want that back?”


“If it’s not too much trouble” She replied, rather graciously considering the circumstances.


“Blackberry, jasmine and just a hint of cedar-wood?” I said, channelling my inner sommelier.


“Most impressive” She said, retying the scarf around her perfect, swan-like neck.


“I took a remote learning course in the art of perfumery” I explained “They sent a different smell through the post every week”


“You’re funny” She remarked kindly.


“Thanks” I said, meaning it.

Her laughter was like the food of the God’s and I was hungry for more - however there was a kidnapping to deal with first.


There wasn’t a lot of light left in the day, but what little was there was hit me flush in the face like a Tyson right hook.


“At the risk of sounding like Elton John, can someone please turn down the Sun it’s far too bright for someone with a woozy head?” I asked as I climbed out of the van.


“Just to be clear - I don’t think you’re funny” Came a second voice.


Sadly, this voice belonged to a giant slab of meat with the kind of all over body hair rarely glimpsed outside of a zoo.

Clearly these two were working a Beauty and the Beast gimmick.


“Everyone’s a critic I guess”


I looked around and tried not to choke on the stench of the nearby sewer pipe.

As I suspected, we were in the warehouse district on the edge of town.

With it’s old, crumbling brick work, smashed windows and broken pallets it looked like the buildings were being slowly reclaimed by the river.


“This way” The Goddess said, in a voice that could charm the birds from the trees.


“After you” I replied, holding the door.


“I don’t think so!” insisted the gorilla who shoved me firmly in the back.

Naturally, I took the hint and entered first.


We went up three flights of stairs to a heavy wooden door with a padlock the size of a hub cap.

“Home sweet home” The divine beauty purred, as she ushered me inside.


The inside of the room looked like an abandoned garage, bare concrete walls, burnt out walls and various junk piled up everywhere.


“Real estate agents might call this a fixer upper” I remarked to stifled laughter from one of my captors and an annoyed grunt from the other.

I’ll leave it to your imagination to decide which was which.


I was escorted over to the remains of an open plan kitchen.


“Tea?” The woman asked as she filled up the kettle


“Ooo, yes please” I said happily.


“Excellent. Griff - you be Mother”


He muttered something under his breath, but nonetheless did as he was told and the three of us soon found ourselves sitting down for a spot of afternoon tea.


“So, I suppose you want to know what you’re doing here?” Said the angel in human form whilst sipping from an elegant china cup.


“It had crossed my mind”


“We want the map”


“Map? What map?”


“Oh come now, don’t be coy. We know all about your Aunt's treasure map”


“I assure you, I don’t know what you’re talking about”


“Please don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you”


“I assure you, I’m not playing anything, now, if you’re quite finished,” I said standing up “Thanks for the tea and everything, but I really must be getting home,..”


“I’m afraid you won’t be going anywhere. Griff!”

As if by magic, the tracksuit behemoth suddenly appeared at my side clutching several lengths of thick hessian cord.


“Wait, wait,” I protested. “I haven’t told you the safe word yet. It’s ‘safe-word’”


Unmoved by my comedy stylings the hairy wardrobe seized my hands and pulled behind my back where they were quickly introduced to my feet.

By the time the idiot hulk had finished his task I could barely move a muscle.


“Are you enjoying this as much as I am?” I asked Griff as he checked the last of my knots.


“I warned you” He growled shoving an old handkerchief into my mouth, which was swiftly followed by another tied firmly over the lower half of my face.

I prayed that both were clean.


“Not too uncomfortable I trust?” asked my future bride as she looked me over.

I tried, and failed to shrug.

In truth I was trussed up so tight the only thing I could move was my eyebrows.


“What’s the matter kid - cat got your tongue?” Griff teased, before collapsing in fits of laughter.

“Now that’s funny!” He said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

I guess comedy really is subjective.


“Take them next door - it’s high time we introduce our two house guests to one another,..”

Hogtied and gagged I offered little resistance as Griff picked me up and threw me over his massive shoulder with considerable ease.


There was a door at the far end of the room - the human wall drew back a metal bolt with one giant hand and opened it.


“When are you going to let me out of here?” a voice demanded boldly.

Ignoring her, Griff lowered me onto the ground where I found myself lying opposite a rather tall young woman in a pleated skirt.

She was also tied up, although noticeably not as stringently as me.

Also, she had long since slipped free of her own gag (a thick black scarf) which now hung rather uselessly around her neck.


“Another word out of you and that goes back in!” He barked


“So, who’s the new tenant?” She asked, pointedly ignoring the thinly veiled threat


“Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other” he said as he left, slamming the door behind him, sealing the two of us inside.


I strained at my ropes.

In my detective novels, there would have been a nail, or a broken piece of glass to cut my bonds.

No such luck.

Maybe I was trapped in the wrong kind of story book,..

With little other option I gazed across the room at my fellow hostage.


She was a rather striking young woman of 17 or 18, with short black hair and a pair of thick rimmed glasses. Most surprisingly of all, considering her age, she was dressed in what appeared to be a school uniform consisting of a starched, long sleeved white shirt, green and yellow striped necktie, matching green blazer and a grey pleated shirt.

She flashed me a rather disarming smile

“Hi there my name’s Samantha. But my friend’s call me Sam”


I tried to respond, and introduce myself, but the sturdy gag made that all but impossible.

“Oh, you poor thing - here, let me”

And with the deft touch of a seasoned professional she used her teeth to pull down the scarf so that I could spit out the rag.


“There, that’s better” She said warmly.


“Thanks” I said, beaming with gratitude.


“They didn’t hurt you did they?”


“The only thing wounded is my pride” I assured her “But what about you?”


“Oh, don’t worry about me, I’m absolutely fine. This kind of thing happens to me all the time”


“Wait a minute, just to be clear - do you mean to say this is a regular occurrence for you?”


“Naturally. I’m a teen detective. Getting tied up by villains is my raison d’etre”


Was she joking? I thought to myself, or have I been locked up with a madwoman with a school uniform fetish?


“So you’re like Penny from Inspector Gadget?” I said, thinking back to a cartoon from my childhood.


“Exactly!” She confirmed happily “Although I would have also accepted, April O’ Neil, Lois Lane, or my personal favourite, Nancy Drew”


“And, do you enjoy it?” I asked, unsure what else to talk about.


“The detectiving, or being locked up?”


I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Either”


“I guess they’re both pretty fun, all things considered” She said with a rather coquettish smile.


“Well, it’s been lovely chatting, but we need to get free before those fiends get their hands on my Aunt’s treasure map”


“Oh, well I suppose then we better get our skates on”


“Right. If you can shuffle over this way, maybe I can get at your ropes with my teeth and-”


I stopped in my tracks.


Samantha (Sam to her friends) was wriggling free of her ropes which now were falling away from her like so much expired silly string.

It was the single most impressive thing I had ever seen outside of a circus.


I tried to replicate the manoeuvre myself, but found I remained stuck fast.


“A neat trick,” I cooed, “How did you do it?”


“Trade secret” Sam beamed proudly as she knelt beside me, pulling my own knots undone”


“So you were just playing possum”


“Of course. After all, every teen sleuth knows the best way to get a villain to reveal their evil scheme is to let herself get captured” She explained with a wry grin.


“And was getting bound and gagged part of the plan too?”


“Naturally”


“Oh, fair enough then. So why did you wait until now to escape?”


“Well, you were talking and I thought it would be rude to interrupt. So,” She said, straightening the knot of her tie “I believe you mentioned a treasure map,..”

[Syko Sith]

Well now. I like this.

[Beaumains]

I am not sure I understand the entire story, is Sam secretely one of the baddies?

Also, a great amount of humour was put in the story, and even though not all your characters appreciated that, I did.

[Stiletto Amore]

Well now. I like this.

Awesome! So glad to hear you enjoyed

[Stiletto Amore]

I am not sure I understand the entire story, is Sam secretely one of the baddies?

Also, a great amount of humour was put in the story, and even though not all your characters appreciated that, I did.

Haha! Sound glad to hear you enjoyed the jokes - even if they didn't go over so well with Griff

The idea, which I probably didn't explain as well as I hoped, was that Sam had been 'captured' while working on another case - at which point she crossed paths with the unnamed narrator.

That said, I like the idea of a baddie Sam being out there - maybe some kind of evil twin perhaps?

[crow3467]

Nice story! I hope to read the next part soon

[Corn Boy]

Great story! As long as her henchman wasn't around, I'd be ok with getting kidnapped by the villainess!

[JulieG]

Hehe. I like the twist there.

[banshee]

Fun story, unique but with all the trademark quirks of your story that I like so much

[TimChimp]

I usually don't read F/M but since you wrote this story I decided to give it a go and let me tell you that it didn't disappoint at all! It has all that I love of your style and even Sam showed up.

[Stiletto Amore]

Nice story! I hope to read the next part soon

Yay! So glad you enjoyed.
Not going to lie - I kinda' wrote this as a stand-alone adventure. That said, I'd love to hear any suggestions for a possible sequel,..

[Stiletto Amore]

Great story! As long as her henchman wasn't around, I'd be ok with getting kidnapped by the villainess!

Aww, so glad you enjoyed
Haha! I tend to agree - given the choice I would much sooner have had the Villianess all to myself - although, in his defence, Griff made an excellent cup of tea

[Stiletto Amore]

Hehe. I like the twist there.

Yay! So glad you enjoyed my "M Night" Shyamalan type twist in the tale,.. or should that be "S and M" Night Shyamalan?!
(apologies - I couldn't resist!)

[Stiletto Amore]

Fun story, unique but with all the trademark quirks of your story that I like so much

Aww, that's such a lovely thing to say. So nice to learn that I have trademark quirks, even more so that someone actually enjoys them!
Thank you!

[Stiletto Amore]

I usually don't read F/M but since you wrote this story I decided to give it a go and let me tell you that it didn't disappoint at all! It has all that I love of your style and even Sam showed up.

That's such a kind thing to say - thank you!
I haven't actually written a F/M story before, although strictly speaking I don't actually specify the gender of the narrator in this story, so it's left to the reader to assign their gender.
Hehe! So glad you enjoyed Sam's brief, if scene stealing, cameo