Chapter 1: Finn
“I'm the worst. This stupid, freckled face, and the horrible red hair. Why am I so ugly?”
My mirror didn't lie. Th freckles were there. The red hair, too. I wished, I could get rid of it all.
If I were bigger, at least. Or stronger. Faster. Smarter. Anything! But...
I closed my eyes, hiding my face behind my right hand. Just a few seconds. Give me just a few seconds, before I have to face this stupid world! God, I hated Mondays so much!
A knock on the door scared my dire thoughts away. Just a bit, of course. They never went far. I could put my hand down, just in time, before my dad would see me that way.
“Come on, Finn, it's time for breakfast. Mum made pancakes. Delicious, as always!”
A few months ago, his smile still meant the world to me. It made my day, filled me with warmth from the inside. It had always been so disarming.
But it didn't work anymore. It didn't produce a smile on me. I mean, I did smile, no need to make my dad feel bad. But it wasn't much more than a try.
“Sure, I'll be right there.”
He turned around. But I thought, for just a second, that I could see this infinite happiness crack a bit. Damnit, not even this I could do! Now I made even my parents sad. The cloud in my head got bigger, just a bit more. One more thing to try to juggle.
But there was no point in waiting. I took my school blazer, and went to the kitchen, trying to put on my neutral face.
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“I hope they are good. Really felt like making a bit of a special breakfast today.”
I tried not to look at mum. Nodding was saver. Maybe they wouldn't take note of my bad mood. Or, maybe, lack of mood.
They still tasted the same way they always did. But eating them wasn't the same joy, as it once was. So, even my mums food had lost it's effect on me.
Hopefully, she wouldn't realize it. I didn't have the energy, to answer any questions. Just let me eat in peace. Not a word, I wasn't in the mood to talk.
My parents didn't force it. They sat there, mostly in silence, sometimes exchanging a few words. At least, they left me alone.
Only when I left, did my mum say something to me. “Enjoy your day. When you get home, I'll have a surprise for you.” She smiled again. It didn't really register. Always that dark cloud in my head, making everything look less colorful than it was, earlier in my life.
“Thanks. Bye.”
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Getting near the bus stop was always the first challenge of a school day. Sometimes, I got lucky, and no one realized that I was there. But then, there were days like today, where Leo saw me coming from afar.
“Hey, everyone! The red-haired devil is here!”, he shouted. Quiet enough, so that no one away from the bus stop would hear him, but loud enough, so that he got everyones attention.
I didn't even think about defending myself. There was no point. I tried one time. It wasn't a fun experience.
Greg and Tony, his stupid, strong goons, grabbed my arms, and made me come closer There was it – that horrible smile, that haunted me everywhere, during the day, during the night, in my dreams. I had already started sweating, praying that it would be an easy day.
“Well, open your mouth. My socks need a wash.” I gulped. Of course, it was Monday. So he had some gross, stinking socks, left from the weekend.
I tried not to look at the bully, but everywhere my eyes went, I only saw gleeful faces, just waiting for me to get tortured. As always, I tried to move, but my arms were still immobile.
“Hey, you DO remember, what happened the last time you didn't behave, right? One last chance, open your mouth, and lick my socks.” Still this horrible grin. I wanted to cry, but there was no point. He was right, I could only accept everything he did. Elsewise, it would just get worse. Maybe not now, but certainly later.
I opened up, nearly puking at the disgusting taste that exploded on my tongue. “Just hold it, it is only for the bus ride”, I thought to myself, and focused on breathing through my nose. It helped.
“Great, thanks for the help. Let me just fix that for you.” He added some see-through tape, wrapping it a few times around my head and mouth. And, finally, added a face mask. Through that, and my shaggy hair, it was now nearly impossible to see the tape, that was already not that visible from the start.
The bus driver never cared. Leo had only started gagging me every day for the ride, after I was already afraid of him. So I didn't dare try to get help from the driver, who got the explanation that I was just scared of getting ill.
As always, Leo would sit next to me. After putting down my backpack, he taped my hands behind my back. I probably could have gotten the attention of the driver, but it didn't matter. Smelling through my nose was the only important thing, so I could focus on something that wasn't the foul thing in my mouth. If I let him tie me up, he would at least give me peace, while we were on the bus. Well, there were the occasional, mean remarks, but that was fine. Pointing out that I was pathetic, weak, dumb, ugly...it was all true, so why even argue?
After the bus ride, we would do the same thing as always. Greg and Tony made sure, that I wouldn't get away, and all three bullies led me into the bathroom. There, my hands were tied behind my back (again). Gleefully, they moved me to one of the pissoirs, taped my feet together, and used the hanging part of my tie, to bind my neck to the metallic part.
“Well, have fun. And don't forget to give me back my socks.”, Leo said, him and his goons laughing, like always. I didn't even react, still focusing on my breathing.
Until they were gone. Now, I started to cry. I couldn't help it. The taste in my mouth was disgusting, my position was uncomfortable, and it happened every day.
School was torture. For the last few months, it had been a nightmare. Every day started in a similar way, and everyone enjoyed my pain. Even the crying was uncomfortable, due to the sock and the gross taste in my mouth.
Thankfully, there was always someone who would free me. There were also, every time, students who would laugh at me, ignore me, making me cry even harder, when they were gone. But someone always had a minimal amount of pity. No one liked me, the Red-Haired Devil, but not everyone wanted me to suffer. They would undo the tape that tied my hands, without saying a word, or helping me with my tie or feet. It didn't matter. I could do the rest on my own. As I could do nearly everything.
I would spend the rest of the time, until the first lesson started, in a bathroom stall, getting the last of my tears out.
Why did Leo have to torture me? I got it, someone as pathetic as me shouldn't have any friends, but why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why did he have to embarrass me, every day?
No one cared about me. No one wanted to sit with me, while eating, or work with me on group projects. Everyone only called me by that nickname Leo gave me. The Red-Haired Devil. That was the whole of my existence, here in this torture chambers.
But they left me in peace, at least.
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Some days, school would end, and I could go home, undisturbed. Most days, I would have to endure the same treatment on the bus ride back home, that I got in the morning. It was bearable. The rest of the day would be ok, at least.
But not today. Greg and Tony met me outside the classroom. “Hey, Leo needs your help”, Greg said.
This was scary. What was happening now? I wanted to get home!
“Look”, I started, but Tony immediately stared at me. “It's not a question”, Greg said, looking slightly scarier than before. What was even the point? I shrugged my shoulders, my eyes closed, accepting whatever fate awaited me.
I didn't even know what to expect, when following the two bullies. Not that I tried to think about it, It made no difference. Maybe I could sleep, then, at last. I was so tired.
We went to room that I had seen often enough, but never entered. It was a classroom, but not in use. It was actually surprising, that it wasn't closed.
Inside, Leo was waiting, an evil grin on his face. He wasn't alone, though. Next to him, on a table, there was a boy. He was tied up everywhere with tape – the hands behind the back, the arms to the upper body, the legs on multiple places and the lower legs pulled back, so they could be tied to the upper legs. His lower face was plastered with tape, too, and it looked like there was something stuffed into his mouth.
But the boy didn't even think of accepting his fate. I was shocked, as he struggled, trying to roll around and to move any part of his body, and to hear him grunt all the time. There were clearly profanities, directed at the bully.
Leo patted the boy on the head, only making him wilder. “You don't like that I finally captured you, huh? Get used to it, it won't be the last time.” It even amused me a bit, as the boy just tried to kill the bully with his eyes, never ceasing to struggle.
But the terror came right back, as Leo gave me his full attention, again. “Thanks for coming. Don't worry, it's nothing too special. But I thought I should celebrate, that I finally caught this annoying insect here”, pointing at the bound-up boy beside him.
I already started breathing heavily, which wasn't helped, when Greg and Tony took my arms again, forcing me to move toward their boss. He had already gotten out his gross socks, which I had left in the bathroom, as always.
“Well, open up, Red-Haired Devil.”
There was no fight left in me. The earlier I took my torture, the earlier it would be over. I opened my mouth, accepting the disgusting pieces of cloth again, which were now even grosser than in the morning. With me not trying to defend myself, it didn't take long for to prepare me in the same way, as the other boy.
Who had stopped struggling by now. For some reason, he seemed interested in what happened to me.
“Well, picture time! I need to show my fans how I am the boss around here. Especially now, that I got this little bug here.”
Multiple pics were made. One of them just from me and the boy, one of them from us, while Leo stood there, his arms spread out. One with me to Leos left, the boy to Leos right, both in headlock, so that only our gagged faces were visible, next to the bully.
With that, he was finally done. “See you tomorrow, guys. I mean, there is a chance for someone to find you during the night, but I'm pretty sure that this room isn't supposed to be open, at all. So, when I shut the door, there is no reason for anyone to get in.”
My eyes grew big. He wouldn't let us go?! The other boy was equally disturbed by this, as he started to struggle again, without much success.
“Don't worry, I'll free you tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Bye!” And with that, and a good laugh from his goons, all three bullies were gone.
My thoughts wandered to my mum, how she had promised me a surprise. Now, I would be responsible for worrying her. She would feel bad, only because of me.
I just wanted to go home, somewhere save from this awful world. The cloud in my head came back, making everything gray. All my thoughts, full of despair.
There wasn't even any energy left, to tug on the tape. The boy had already proven it, there was no escape. Why even try anymore?
Defeated, I put my head on the table, looking away from him. Starting to silently cry, as I just couldn't take it anymore.
