Tales in Briloven (mm/F, m/f, mmm/fF, F/mm, F/F, m/m and more), Chapter 8 - Spy Game (F/m)

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charliesmith
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Post by charliesmith »

I am ready with the next chapter. I thank everyone who has taken time to comment on the story, your kind words and comments encouraged me to write more. Let me know what you all think !

[mention]Mommy's Naughty Boy[/mention] [mention]BoundandgaggedN8T[/mention] [mention]Feet20[/mention] [mention]BoudBoy22[/mention] [mention]slackywacky[/mention] [mention]Nainur[/mention] [mention]harveygasson[/mention] [mention]Inkstain[/mention] [mention]Ianc1980[/mention] [mention]GreyLord[/mention] Let me know if you want me to remove your names from this list.

-----------------------------------------------------4. Cabin by the house------------------------------------------------


“Are we there yet?” Amy asked.

The 16 year old was wearing faded denim shorts that came well above her knees, a plain white t-shirt on top and a red converse sneaker on her feet. She was walking through the woods, behind the Smith’s house, being led by Tommy. Her hands were tied together in the front by rope, there was another long piece of rope attached to her bound wrists, the end of the long rope being held by Tommy as he led her forward.

“We are almost there.” Tommy replied, holding the rope in one hand, carefully leading his girlfriend through the woods, past the large trees.

Tommy was dressed in khaki shorts and a gray polo t-shirt.

Amy sighed, she was not able to see him. A black cloth had been tied over eyes to blindfold her.

Tommy was leading her to a small wooden shed which was located behind the house, a few minutes into the woods. His late father had built a wooden shed when Joey and he were young kids. It was mainly built for the kids to access and play in it, while in the woods, when they grow up. The brothers had considered it as their hideout and used it extensively while playing with their friends, they also had a silly rule about no girls being allowed in it. The hideout was a nice little place in the middle of the forest. There were four wooden walls, one door and a couple of shuttered windows. There was also a fire pit outside, with wooden logs around it for seating. The shed also provided the boys with shelter, if they got caught in foul weather while playing in the woods.

“We are here.” Tommy announced, leading Amy into the shed.

“Ah finally, can you untie the blindfold now?” She asked.

He walked behind her, untying the black cloth, letting her see. She has been here several times, but Tommy always insisted she should be blindfolded when he brought her here, due to it being a ‘hideout’ for the boys. Amy blinks her eyes, noticing the place was still the same. The small shed was mostly empty, only a small round wooden table occupied the space in a corner, by the shuttered windows. There was also a wooden post in the center of the shed, acting as a pillar for the structure.

“When will you ever bring me here without blindfolding or tying me?” Amy asked, pouting playfully at Tommy. “ I've known this place since middle school!”

Tommy chuckled, “Sorry, but you know the deal. Besides, you enjoy being my prisoner.”

Amy blushed at that, she did enjoy being his prisoner. They had known each other since middle school and have been good friends, they only started dating recently though. She was only a few months older than him and an inch shorter than him, standing at 5’6. Amy was growing into a beautiful young lady, shoulder length dark hair, beautiful brown eyes, medium sized breasts. Her body was well toned, since she was a ballet dancer at school.

“Oh no, what are you going to do to your prisoner?” She asked with a fake terror in her voice.

“Tie you up nice and tight, of course.” He replied with a wink, leading her to the wooden post.

“You won’t get away with this.” Amy smirked, watching him untie the ropes binding her wrists.

“I always do.”

Tommy then takes her hands behind the wooden post, tying her wrists together at the back. He then loops rope above and below her breasts, tying the ropes to her back, along with the post. The ropes he was using were the spare ones stored at the shed by the boys, they often used it when they played games here. He pulls another rope around her tummy, binding it along with the post securely.

“Do I have to stand now, the whole time?” Amy asked.

She frowned at him as he secured her upper body to the wooden post, while she stood against it. The rope hugging her body felt familiar to her. She had been bound several times now, by him. Each time was exciting like the previous time. She had grown to enjoy the feeling of helplessness in bondage.

“Yeah, stop talking or I will make sure you are quiet.” Tommy said, kneeling by her smooth, toned and long legs.

Amy just smiled, putting her feet together, making her legs more accessible for him. Ropes were wrapped around her ankles and the post before being cinched and tied securely. He then wrapped rope around her thighs and the post, securing her legs. She wriggled a bit against the ropes, but it held her nicely to the post. Happy with his work, Tommy picks up the black cloth and ties a large knot in the center. This piece of long cloth was torn from an old bedsheet.

“Open your mouth, time to be quiet.” He said, holding the knotted cloth taut in his hand.

Amy opened her mouth to protest, but she knew it would be of no use. She just nods and opens her mouth wide allowing Tommy to push the large knot into her mouth and tie the ends behind her head tightly, at the base of her neck. Tommy thought of tying it together with the post, but decided not to.

“Mmmmphff!” She grunted, mewing into the knotted cloth in her mouth.

“That’s better now, you look like a proper prisoner now.” Tommy teased, stepping back and admired the gagged girl, bound to the wooden post.

“Hmmmpmmff!” Amy replied in mock anger, her lips resting on the protruding black knot stuffed in her mouth.

“You think you can escape?”

“Nnnmmppcnnt”

“That’s good, I am thirsty and I am thinking of heading back to the house to get a drink.”

“Dnntllvvmmaleemm!” Amy said, her eyes wide.

She didn't want to be here bound alone to a post, inside a shed in the middle of the woods. The woods don't have any dangerous animals lurking around, but the thought of staying here bound alone frightened her a bit. She squirmed and wriggled against her post, hoping her boyfriend wouldn’t leave her alone.

“You will be alright alone, I won’t be gone for long.” Tommy said, noticing her apprehension.

He walked over and kissed her cheek. “I will bring you something to drink as well.”

“Mmmmmptmmyy.” Amy grunted, she watched him kiss her cheek and leave the shed.


She was now alone and helplessly bound to the post wondering when Tommy would come back.

Tommy walked along the forest trail, heading back to the house. It was slightly hotter than usual and it made him feel thirsty. He made a mental note to carry some water the next time he takes Amy to the cabin. It was a beautiful day though, the sun was shining bright and he could hear the birds chirp happily as he made his way back to the house.
He wondered how Amy must be feeling now, bound and gagged alone back in the shed.

‘Maybe I should try that sometime.’ He thought to himself, entering the backyard through the wooden fence surrounding the house.

Tommy entered the house through the garage, where his mother’s black sedan was parked. He noticed there was some kind of commotion coming from the kitchen, he didn’t think much about it. It was probably Joey and his friend Lucas. Lucas was Joey’s best friend from school, they were in the same class since kindergarten. He would visit Joey every now and then to play or when his mother had to run errands in the town. Today was one such day, he had come home just before Tommy had headed out with Amy.

“Help!! Somebody help me!!” His mother’s voice could be heard, it was coming from the kitchen.

Tommy was surprised to hear that, and wondered what was going on. He quickly removed his black sneakers and walked towards the kitchen bare feet.

“HELP! If there are any cowboys, help me - the Indians havemmmmgggphffff!”

Tommy hurries to the kitchen, when he hears that. Laura was standing next to the dining table, she was wearing a black leggings, a red t-shirt, her blonde hair in a ponytail and of course bare feet. There was rope circling her waist, pinning her hands to her sides around her waist. Joey and Lucas had made a lasso out of the rope which was pinning Laura’s hands to the waist. Joey was standing next to his mother, holding the end of the rope, with a big grin on his face.

“Mmmpghppff!” Laura said, her eyes wide when she saw Tommy enter the kitchen.

Tommy looked up to see what was keeping his mother quiet, he was surprised to see a large red apple sitting in her mouth, his mother’s red lips resting over it as she held the apple in her mouth with her teeth. Lucas was standing on the dining table, he had climbed on it, to stuff the apple he had found in the fruit basket, into Laura’s mouth.


“What’s going on?” Tommy asked, he was smiling.

“We are playing Cowboys and Indians, we have captured our prisoner!” Joey replied, he held on to the end of the lasso tightly.

“Are you the good guy or bad guy?” Lucas asked, climbing down from the table.

The younger boys were dressed in black shorts and t-shirts. Joey was in a sky blue t-shirt while Lucas was wearing dark green. Lucas was around the same height as Joey, was dark skinned and had curly black hair.

Tommy looked back at his mother, her eyes twinkled as she tried hard not to laugh and bite down on the apple in her mouth. He could understand she was playing along in their game.

“Hllppmmm!” Laura mumbled, hoping her older son would play the role of a rescuer.

Tommy smiled, he had no intention of rescuing his mother so soon. “I am your leader, you little soldiers.”

The younger boys grinned, they were more than happy to let Tommy play as the leader.

“What do we do with her?” Joey questioned.

“Let’s tie her more and take her to the hideout, the cowboys won’t find us there.”

Lucas was surprised to hear that, he was amazed by the fact Joey’s mother agreed to play along with their game and now they were going to tie her up?! He was surprised when his best friend asked him to stuff a fruit in his mother’s mouth earlier, he only did it after seeing Laura nod to him, indicating he could do so. He hadn’t expected that, but he was eager and excited to play now.

Tommy told the boys to bring the duffle bag which contained the rest of the ropes while he removed the lasso from his mother’s waist and tied her wrists behind her back, palm to palm. He looped the rope horizontally a few times and then vertically to make sure she couldn't move her wrists apart.

“Mmmmwhhtkmmmm?” Laura asked, gasping when she found her wrists bound nicely. Tommy was good at this.

“Sorry mom, can’t understand you.” Tommy said laughing, hearing his mother trying to talk with an apple in her mouth.

Laura looked at her son and then spat out the saliva soaked apple out of her mouth. “Hideout? Where are you taking me?!” She enquired.

“To the shed, out in the woods.” Tommy replied, making sure the knots were away from her fingers.

“There?! Why can’t we remain in the house?” His mother asked, puzzled.

“Because, that’s where I have another prisoner. She trespassed in our lands too” Tommy grinned, remembering he had poor Amy still tied up out there.

“Who?” Laura asked, her eyes widened when she realized Tommy had left earlier along with Amy, but had returned alone now. She wondered what her son had in mind as the younger kids brought out the duffle bag.
Please feel free to read and comment your thoughts.
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Roadtrip of Dreams (M/F) Chapter 14 Added.
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slackywacky
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Post by slackywacky »

Great chapter. Amy will be surprised to see another captive.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.
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Post by BoundandgaggedN8T »

Good updates! Wish I had a mom like Laura.
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Post by Nainur »

excellent. love it.
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Post by GreyLord »

This is an excellent story, [mention]charliesmith[/mention]. You are developing interesting characters with a good story line. You are giving good detail in your descriptions. I certainly hope to be able to continue reading this tale. Keep up the good work.
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Post by charliesmith »

slackywacky wrote: 1 year ago Great chapter. Amy will be surprised to see another captive.
Thanks and yes! An unexpected captive too :D
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Post by charliesmith »

BoundandgaggedN8T wrote: 1 year ago Good updates! Wish I had a mom like Laura.
We all need a mother like Laura ;)
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Post by charliesmith »

Nainur wrote: 1 year ago excellent. love it.
Thank you! You are very kind.
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Post by charliesmith »

GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago This is an excellent story, @charliesmith. You are developing interesting characters with a good story line. You are giving good detail in your descriptions. I certainly hope to be able to continue reading this tale. Keep up the good work.
Thank you, [mention]GreyLord[/mention]
I am happy that you all are enjoying this. I have more ideas coming up soon :)
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Post by slackywacky »

charliesmith wrote: 1 year ago I am happy that you all are enjoying this. I have more ideas coming up soon :)
It is funny seeing the writers bug going around again. It did with [mention]Caesar73[/mention] , it did with [mention]GreyLord[/mention], I see it with you. Writing can be addictive. Keep it up. 8-)
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.
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Post by harveygasson »

Another great chapter
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Post by charliesmith »

harveygasson wrote: 1 year ago Another great chapter
Thank you [mention]harveygasson[/mention]. I am glad you liked it.
Please feel free to read and comment your thoughts.
My ongoing stories:

Roadtrip of Dreams (M/F) Chapter 14 Added.
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Post by charliesmith »

slackywacky wrote: 1 year ago
charliesmith wrote: 1 year ago I am happy that you all are enjoying this. I have more ideas coming up soon :)
It is funny seeing the writers bug going around again. It did with @Caesar73 , it did with @GreyLord, I see it with you. Writing can be addictive. Keep it up. 8-)
I hope it helps me in brining in more stories :D
Please feel free to read and comment your thoughts.
My ongoing stories:

Roadtrip of Dreams (M/F) Chapter 14 Added.
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Post by charliesmith »

Chapter 5 is ready, took a little time. I would like to thank all those who have commented so far and encouraged me to keep going. Thanks guys, I hope you continue to do it.

I would also like to invite [mention]Beaumains[/mention] to give this story a read. I enjoyed reading the Tangled Maiden series.

[mention]Mommy's Naughty Boy[/mention] [mention]BoundandgaggedN8T[/mention] [mention]Feet20[/mention] [mention]BoudBoy22[/mention] [mention]slackywacky[/mention] [mention]Nainur[/mention] [mention]harveygasson[/mention] [mention]Inkstain[/mention] [mention]Ianc1980[/mention] [mention]GreyLord[/mention] Let me know if you want me to remove your names from this list.


----------------------------------------5. Captives--------------------------------

The sun was still shining bright, it continued to be a beautiful day. The sky was clear, with very few clouds. A couple of robins chirping their music flew from the tree, when it heard people walking by the grassy pathway. Laura walked forward, seemingly pulled by a rope tied at her waist. It wasn't the only part of her body tied with rope as the helpless blonde woman was led by her older son Tommy in front, while she was flanked by the two younger boys on either side of her. Her wrists were bound together, behind her back. More ropes circled above and below her breasts, pinning her arms to the side. Her legs were free, which enabled her to walk. The boys had helped her put on some slippers, before they had left the house.

“We are almost there.” Tommy said, tugging the rope a little hard making his mother stumble forward a little, they had made their way to the shed.

“Mhmmmppgghmmf.” Laura said, protesting a little. She knew it was no use though.


A knotted red bandanna was tied into her mouth by Tommy before they had left the house. “They needed to keep her silent.” he had said.

Laura wondered what to expect as Tommy led her to the old wooden shed which her late husband had built, bringing her back some memories. Tommy opened the door, leading his mother inside, by pulling the rope he was holding in his hand. Laura walks in carefully and is amazed to see Amy tied up to the wooden post in the middle of the shed.

“Mmhppmrrsssmmthhmp!?” Amy said, looking at her boyfriend coming back, followed by his bound and gagged mother.

“Immmcptvtmmmphf!” Laura replied, nodding to the young girl, indicating she was aware of what had happened.

Joey and Lucas walked in after Laura, closing the door. Lucas was surprised to see Amy there, bound to the post, a black knotted cloth tied in her mouth. He noticed the knot was dark and damp, indicating she has had it in her mouth for quite some time now. He was still surprised and amused to know that Joey and his brother played these kinds of games, he was beginning to enjoy it too.

“Oh sweet, you already have the other trespasser.” Joey said, looking at the tied up Amy.



“Yeah, you both are our captives now, since you trespassed by our hideouts.” Tommy said, walking over to Amy, checking if any knots had come loose.

“What do we do with her?” Joey asked his brother, indicating to their bound and gagged mother.

“Llmmgghpppff!” Laura said, pretending to be unhappy about being a captive.

Tommy checked the knots holding Amy to the post before glancing over at his brother and mother. “I wish there was another post, but it’s alright. Why don’t you both tie her on the floor?”

“Whttnnnnmppf!” His mother said, shaking her head.

She looked down at the wooden floor, it was fairly clean as the boys used it often and kept it tidy. Laura then looks at the two younger boys walking over to her and sighs nodding, when they instruct her to get on the floor.

“Whrssmmwtterr?” Amy tried to ask Tommy, while he stood by her.

“Oops, forgot to bring your drink. Sorry about that.” He said, grinning sheepishly, knowing she would not be happy about that.

“Yuuummddtm.” Amy said. She frowned at him, glaring and then looked ahead, watching the younger boys help Laura to lie on the floor.

“Carefully.” Joey said to Lucas, he held his mother’s arm, while she got down on her legs. “Lie down on the floor, facing down.”

Laura rolled her eyes, hearing her younger son instructing her to lie face down on the wooden floor. She looked at him, nodding quietly, lying down on the floor, her tummy touching the floor. She could notice Lucas was fascinated by her involvement in the game, she was enjoying the game too.

Joey hands Lucas some ropes and instructs him to tie his mother’s feet. “Make sure it is tight, we don’t want her to escape.”

Lucas nodded, kneeling down by Laura’s feet, removing her slippers which made her squirm a little. He looked at her bare feet nervously, before using the rope in his hand to wrap it around her ankles. He was also attending scouts along with Joey and had recently learnt a bunch of knots. He never imagined he would use those skills to tie his best friend’s mom!

Joey meanwhile, took a longer piece of rope from the pile and tied one end of it to his mother’s bound wrists. He waited until Lucas finished tying her ankles, before taking the other end to her ankle ropes, placing his mother in a loose hogtie. Happy with his work, he stands up and fist bumps Lucas, letting him know he did a good job.

“Hmmmmphhhf!” Laura said, whimpering into the dark red cloth in her mouth.

Laura was surprised when the boys had tied her in a hogtie, though it felt a little loose. She wriggled on the floor, checking out the ropes, looking up at her sons, Lucas and Amy. She wondered how long Amy and herself had to remain captives. The ropes felt tight and snug, but not too uncomfortable as she wriggled against the ropes.

“Good job boys, we have our captives secure now.” Tommy said, walking over to Laura.

He checked if the ropes were fine, complimenting the boys about their improving knot skill.

“What do we do with them now?” Lucas asked, looking at Laura and Amy. He wondered why they both looked so good while bound and gagged. It fascinated him.

“Hmm, Good question. I think we should punish them for trespassing.” Tommy said, with a sly smile.

“Whhtmmmmnnnff!”

“Nnnnmmmwwyyph!!”

Laura and Amy begin to protest right away, shaking their heads while squirming against the ropes binding their body. They were not sure what Tommy meant by punishment, but they didn't want to find it out as the boys usually went very creative with their tie up games.

“Sounds like a good idea, what should we do?” Joey asked, ignoring the pleas of the bound and gagged women.

“I think we should tickle their feet, that should teach them a lesson.” Tommy said, grinning at his mother and girlfriend.
Amy shook her head, looking daggers at Tommy. She used her expressive eyes to talk him out of it, but he was having none of it. He went to her, knelt by her feet and started to remove her shoes and socks.

“I will take care of Amy, you can take care of mom.” Tommy told the younger boys, he then began to dig his fingers onto Amy's bare soles.

Amy squirmed in laughter, shaking her head, wiggling helplessly against the wooden post.

Joey held Laura’s right feet, while Lucas took hold of her left. The boys nodded at each other and started to tickle her bare feet with their fingers.

“Hmmmmpff Stmmmphhh!” Laura pleaded, she laughed into her gag helplessly while the boys tickled her feet.

The boys continued to tickle their feet as Laura and Amy wriggled helplessly. They both squirmed and wriggled whimpering into their gags, unable to do much about it. Tommy especially, didn’t show any mercy to Amy as he kept going at her feet, she had tears in her eyes from laughing uncontrollably. The younger boys were much gentler to Laura, since she was a grown up lady and they didn’t want to get in trouble later. The tickling went on for more than 10 minutes mercilessly, that’s when they heard Amy’s phone ringing in her pocket.

Tommy stops tickling, he pulls out her phone from her pocket after standing up. It was an alarm set by Amy earlier to remind her about her ballet class today.

“Bllleeghmmppp.” Amy said, her eyes twinkled.

She had been setting up alarms recently before leaving home, just in case to remind Tommy regarding her schedule if she was bound and gagged. It was helpful, especially during situations like today.

“Ballet class? Ah I totally forgot about that.“ Tommy said, reading from her phone.

“Ysmmmmph.” Amy said, nodding. She was relieved the tickling had stopped. “Unttyymmpphh”

Laura was feeling relieved too. She was catching her breath when Joey and Lucas stopped tickling her feet too. She hoped they would be getting free now, since Amy had to go attend her ballet class.


“Fine, I think we can let go of this prisoner.” Tommy said. He then started to untie Amy from the wooden post.

“Whhaabbttmmphh?” Laura asked, hopeful about being released along with her.

“We know you don’t have to go anywhere today, you can continue to be our prisoner.” Tommy smirked.

Laura protested in her gag, shaking her head. She then looked at Joey, hoping her younger son would feel the other way.

Just before Joey could reply, Luca’s phone started to ring. It was his mother calling. He answered his phone and his mother told she was coming to pick him up

“Can’t she pick you up later?” Joey asked him.

“I wish she could, but she has to run some chores in the town and needs my help. “ Lucas sighed, he didn't want to leave as he was having fun tickling Laura’s bare feet.

“Ymmmssunttmmto.” Laura said.

She wanted to be untied so she could say ‘hi’ to Lucas’s mom Jessica. They knew each other very well from the parents and teacher meetings held at school. It would also be an excuse for her to be untied now.

Tommy meanwhile had untied Amy’s upper body from the post and was now on the floor, untying her feet. Amy reaches her free hands up and removes the damp knotted cloth from her mouth, breathing in through her mouth freely now.

“Gah! It leaves an odd taste in the mouth.” She complained, dropping the cloth to the floor and stepped away from the post once her legs were untied.

“I guess we all can go back to the house, along with Amy.” Tommy said, clearing the ropes back to the corner.

“Even mom?” Joey asked.

“Hmm… I think mom can remain here for some more time as our captive.” Tommy said, smiling at his mother.

Laura shook her head, looking daggers at him. She didn't want to be left bound and gagged in this shed alone. “NNNMMPPHHH!”

“I think Mrs Smith is not happy with that suggestion, you better untie her.” Amy said, rubbing her wrists. The rope marks were apparent.

“Fine, but after you both leave. I will come back with Joey to free her.” Tommy replied.

“Yeah we need to go say hi to Lucas’s mom and tell mom is sleeping or something.” Joey suggested, grinning.

Amy sighed, not wanting to argue on that as she was running late for her class. “Don’t forget, okay I need to get going now. Bye, Mrs Smith”

Amy leaves the shed, followed by Tommy and Joey. Lucas lingers for a bit looking down at Laura and smiles.

“Thanks for playing with us Mrs Smith, bye!” He said.

“Gmmmpph.” Laura nodded to him as he left.

She had given up her thoughts of getting freed now. It did feel nice to be bound, she could relax and collect her thoughts for some time alone.

The kids left the shed, leaving Laura hogtied and gagged. They walked back to the house where Amy collected her bag and left in her car, parked outside the house. People in Briloven could drive once they are 16, after passing their license test. Tommy and Joey meanwhile accompanied Lucas to the front of the house, where they waited for Lucas’s mom Jessica to arrive.

“Do you guys play this game often with your mom?” Lucas asked, while waiting.

“Yeah, it was fun wasn’t it? You should try playing with your mom too.” Joey said.

“My Mom? I doubt she would play.” Lucas said, surprised by the suggestion.

“You won’t know unless you try.” Tommy said to him.


The boys talked for 10 more minutes, discussing the games they have played and how Laura had got involved in it recently. A blue sedan came by just then, Luca’s mom had arrived.

“Okay thanks for the pointers, bye guys!” Lucas said, smiling at Joey and Tommy. He then runs over to the car and gets in front.

“Hi boys, Laura not around?” Jessica calls out from the car.

Laura always came out to the front whenever she came around. They even had coffee and girl talk sometime, together. Jessica Brown was 35 years old, her skin was autumn brown and as smooth as a moonstone, her hair was velvet black and it offset her oxblood-red puffy, pouting lips.

“Mom is taking a bath, Mrs Brown. We will tell her, you said hi.” Tommy said.

“Okay, see you boys later!” She smiled, Lucas waved to them before the car left.

“So…let’s go check on mom?” Joey asked.

“Yeah, let’s go free her. I hope she is not mad.”

The boys retraced their steps, to the back of the house, following the grassy pathway back to the shed. It had been about 20 or 30 minutes since they had left their mom there. The sky was turning slightly orangish as it was evening now. The boys made their way to the wooden shed, opening the door, only to find it empty.

“Mom? Where is she?” Tommy said, he was surprised as he walked in to find no trace of his mother being there.

“Ho..how. Lucas and I tied her pretty well.” Joey said, confused looking at his brother.

The more surprising part was, they didn't find any signs of her rope or gag lying on the floor. It was mysterious to them. Tommy frowned wondering what could have happened, his phone chimes at that moment. He takes it out to see who had texted, it was from an unknown number.

I have your mother with me. Do as I say, if you want her back.
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Post by Nainur »

Excellent follow-up! Loving it! Of course the boys shouldn't have done it. Would have been nice if L got free by herself and giving them boys a scare...
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Post by GreyLord »

Good show, [mention]charliesmith[/mention]. One suggestion but remember that this is just my opinion. It would have had a better feeling of realism had the boys shown more care for their mother stumbling while tied up. You still get high grades for your originality, the smooth flow of the story, your presentation of details, and your development of your characters.

And, of course, you have a great cliffhanger.
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slackywacky
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Post by slackywacky »

charliesmith wrote: 1 year ago i]I have your mother with me. Do as I say, if you want her back.[/i]
Oh no, what will happen now...
Great chapter.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.
Slackywacky, also @DeviantArt

My active stories: Updated story catalog: All my stories
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slackywacky
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Post by slackywacky »

slackywacky wrote: 1 year ago
charliesmith wrote: 1 year ago I have your mother with me. Do as I say, if you want her back.
Oh no, what will happen now...
Great chapter.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.
Slackywacky, also @DeviantArt

My active stories: Updated story catalog: All my stories
User avatar
slackywacky
Millennial Club
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Posts: 2606
Joined: 5 years ago
Location: Canada

Post by slackywacky »

charliesmith wrote: 1 year ago I have your mother with me. Do as I say, if you want her back.
Oh no, what will happen now...
Great chapter.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.
Slackywacky, also @DeviantArt

My active stories: Updated story catalog: All my stories
charliesmith
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Post by charliesmith »

Nainur wrote: 1 year ago Excellent follow-up! Loving it! Of course the boys shouldn't have done it. Would have been nice if L got free by herself and giving them boys a scare...
Thanks, it will be interesting to see who captured her ;) [mention]Nainur[/mention]
Please feel free to read and comment your thoughts.
My ongoing stories:

Roadtrip of Dreams (M/F) Chapter 14 Added.
charliesmith
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Post by charliesmith »

GreyLord wrote: 1 year ago Good show, @charliesmith. One suggestion but remember that this is just my opinion. It would have had a better feeling of realism had the boys shown more care for their mother stumbling while tied up. You still get high grades for your originality, the smooth flow of the story, your presentation of details, and your development of your characters.

And, of course, you have a great cliffhanger.
Opinion accepted, It is nice to hear other people's point of view, it helps me to become a better writer.
Thank you for your kind words [mention]GreyLord[/mention]
Please feel free to read and comment your thoughts.
My ongoing stories:

Roadtrip of Dreams (M/F) Chapter 14 Added.
charliesmith
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Post by charliesmith »

slackywacky wrote: 1 year ago
charliesmith wrote: 1 year ago I have your mother with me. Do as I say, if you want her back.
Oh no, what will happen now...
Great chapter.
We will see soon :D [mention]slackywacky[/mention]
Please feel free to read and comment your thoughts.
My ongoing stories:

Roadtrip of Dreams (M/F) Chapter 14 Added.
Mask6190
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Post by Mask6190 »

Just caught up with the story.

This is fantastic :D Great job charliesmith! Thanks for pointing me to this story.
charliesmith
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Post by charliesmith »

Mask6190 wrote: 1 year ago Just caught up with the story.

This is fantastic :D Great job charliesmith! Thanks for pointing me to this story.
Glad you enjoyed it :D
Please feel free to read and comment your thoughts.
My ongoing stories:

Roadtrip of Dreams (M/F) Chapter 14 Added.
Ianc1980
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Post by Ianc1980 »

Great job with this! I can't wait to see who is holding the hot mom captive! I have a few guesses, some I'm more hopeful than others! Can't wait to read more!
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