Hard No’s

[that1kid13]

Was thinking about this earlier.

If you were meeting a new TUG partner what would be your hard no’s? Not things you dislike but hard NO’s. Anything from bondage to the entire experience with trusting someone

Could apply for dom or sub

[Canuck100]

Pain. For me, TUGs are supposed to be fun. It can be frustrating, you want to get out but can’t, and that’s part of the fun. But pain is a hard no for me.

[JFBound]

"For both: Sex, nudity, "jobs", risky play etc.
For me: Wraparound gags(too uncomfortable), worn items etc.

[BandG]

Pain would be a no. And sort of chains either.

We'd definitely need a safe word or a clear way to say untie me now once gagged like a signal with thumbs or eye blinks if not blindfolded.

We'd have to agree on things beforehand we were both comfortable with.

I wouldn't rule out sexual things but again it must be agreed and if me or the other person looks or seems uncomfortable with anything then everything stops.

[Jaaaake]

Nothing painful. A couple of people that tied me up wanted to use nipple clamps on me but its just not for me so I had to say no in advance.

[Captive-Monica98]

Torture and bodily fluids are big no's from me. I see torture/pain is a pretty common limit on here.

[tiedinbluetights]

For me, my hard no's can be very context specific and time evolving. While I do have a few absolutes (no blood, no needles, no medical play), there are plenty of other hard no's that require specificity and trust to clearly get across. For example, I cannot say 'no pain' as I enjoy having to endure nipple clamps while tied up, or being occasionally slapped, spanked, or mildly subjected to a whipping, with a crop or cat o' nine-tails, but I absolutely would hard no any other type of hitting or pain inducing activities, or even the activities I permitted earlier that have become too much to endure.

So how does a masochist like me get across to their play partner that it's not all pain, but intensity, time, and context dependent? The answer is my true hard-no at its most basic: any indication that my potential new play partner and I will fail to form an empathetic, caring bond (it goes both ways), and fail to clearly communicate (even if I'm gagged) in order to continually asses each other's consent. If my play partner and I plan and agree to a scenario where I will be tied-up and gagged for 6 hours, I cannot presume that my play partner will at all times enjoy sticking to that duration and not want to put an end to game sooner, and likewise my partner must always make sure that I'm fine with continuing.

I base the above mostly on my own personal experiences with my wife, but it would apply to any new play partner as well. Accidents will happen, boundaries (including the top's/rigger's) may get accidentally pushed. Constant two-way communication, before, during and after (after-care) the tie-up GAME--and especially after, to grow the relationship and re-assure each other--is a must and anything less is a HARD NO and would put an end to the relationship for me.

[Terry]

No pain nor sexual stuff

[SubBondageBoy]

Pain, having my nose closed in some way, also would prefer to not be blindfolded

[FacelessMage]

My hard nos are pretty common i think: breath play, scat/ws, excessive pain, unprotected sex (unless we both test), drugs/chems, and weapons in a scene to name a few.

Another big one I have is any kind of tribute requirement or other such findomme bullshit. If they ask for money, even if they're a 10 and actually real, that's a hard pass from me

[RotiferTape]

Nothing sexual and no extreme gags, like dental type stuff.

[Nexus]

As far as bondage play is concerned, I’m pretty open to discuss just about anything. If they want to add in other fetishes, I’m also open to discuss it, but hard no’s are the obvious stuff: no minors, no animals, no blood, no scat/urine.

[sami200456boyfriend]

Being Ballgag

[Corn Boy]

Was thinking about this earlier.

If you were meeting a new TUG partner what would be your hard no’s? Not things you dislike but hard NO’s. Anything from bondage to the entire experience with trusting someone

Could apply for dom or sub

Definitely agree with pain like most others on here. Might be willing to experiment with light flogging or spanking, but that's it. Also nothing I personally find gross such as bodily fluids or feet worship (Granted Boot Worship is fine), no degradation, and no to certain types of gags (Any open mouth gag or bit gag is a no from me. Others would be fine like ballgag, tape, cleave, panel, etc.)

[Withers]

I'm okay with pain - but definitely no sex. Also nudity

[Red86]

Hard no's for me has to be sex. I'm ace so sex doesn't really appeal to me. As dom, I can go upto maybe mild pain but if I've switched, not that interested in pain. So anything above mild pain is out. Watersports is a definite NO. Really anything involving body fluid is out.

[Kishi]

Surprised at how many people are saying pain! I knew I’d be in the minority here but I didn’t realize how tiny of a minority, especially with all the extreme stuff that goes on in many of the most popular fictional stories. I typically look for just about as much pain as possible!

My hard no’s are pretty much just nothing illegal, no blood, no scat, no sex (sexual “stuff” is okay just no full-on sex), and no serious injury.

And none of those neoprene dog masks. I admit it’s hypocritical coming from me as a furry but I just can’t do them.

[radarlove67]

1. Anything to do with scat or watersports, I just don't get it.

2. Humiliation or Exploitation. I know being tied or the act of tying can create a level of humiliation but I'm not in to degrading anyone. Ultimately if someone trusts you to be tied then the Dom role should be respectful and solicitous of the sub's welfare. And if I'm playing the sub then I'd expect to be treated with care. You can have some fun and pretend to be nasty (ish) if that's agreed beforehand but within boundaries.

3. Mummification. I know some people like it, but I'd much rather secure someone in a way that they can be easily set free when required.

4. Smoking. I never have, and I'm not a fan of those kind of Doms/Dommes who make it part of their play. Sort of goes back to Humiliation. Total yuck for me.

5. Pain. I had a partner who I engaged in mild pain games with because that was her thing, but it doesn't really do anything for me, though the idea of a lady spanking me is interesting. But actual pain is a hard no, one of the things I disliked on Fetlife was the number of people prepared to be actually hurt. Not for me! If I'm playing a kidnap roleplay an element of restraint is expected, and perhaps the mock threat of pain, but I draw the line at actually inflicting it. I'd be a very gentle considerate Kidnapper!

[ExcessivelyCurious]

Seems like I'm on the more "extreme" side for this thread, although I wouldn't normally think of myself as such. Obviously the total illegal/immoral stuff is out. But while it doesn't have to be sexual for me, it definitely can be and there's some other kinks I'm also willing to explore. That said, I have definite limits on which sexual acts. There are some things I've heard of that I definitely wouldn't do but feel a bit too much to even mention.

I actively enjoy some pain, but I have a very definite limit. Like spanking sure, maybe a belt but put the cat-o'-nine-tails away. Certainly nothing with sharp objects.

There are a number of things I won't do unless it's with someone I know and feel I can trust more. Communication is always important, but that skyrockets when you're doing more intense stuff. Similarly, there are things I'd have to agree to first and definitely wouldn't appreciate being sprung on me.

Drugs/chems are definitely a no, and even alcohol really; everyone involved needs to be sober.

Money. This is something I do for fun, and I want it to be fun for the other person too, not a business transaction.