Sophomore Year - Chapter 20: "That Was An Awesome Saxophone Solo, Girl" (FFF/FF, M/FFFFF, MF/FFFF, MFF/FFF, MFFF/FF, MFFFF/F) [Part 4 of 8]
I eyed the first card carefully. It had fully been my intention to start with a challenging one.
Me: Never Have I Ever…Been to California.
The room went quiet. I don’t think anybody knew the answer for certain…aside from me and the person who had never been. They were thinking about it. It’s easy to know if somebody HAS been somewhere if they discuss it. It’s a little harder to know for a fact that somebody has NEVER been somewhere. Elisa moved first. She clearly decided that she thought that Abbie had never made it out to California and began to squirm across the circle directly through the center and over my shoes in a beeline towards Abbie. She worked her shoulders and hips in rhythm as she crawled along in her tightly trussed state. Courtney and Erica apparently thought that she might be onto something because they in turn wiggled their way towards Abbie. Abbie looked spooked as the other three girls descended upon her. She was hit with a barrage of playful kicks from Elisa and Erica and a headbutt to the calf by Courtney who had slithered over to her headfirst. She squealed indignantly even though I was pretty sure none of it hurt. The girls were all being very playful.
Abbie: Mmmmmppppphhhhrrrmmmmpppppphhhhh hhhhhhmmmmpppphhhhhh!!!
However, now Abbie was thinking that since the other girls all seemed to think that it was her…it had to be me or Jackie. She had 12 seconds left to make a guess. She swung herself in my direction and tried to scooch her butt back and forth to get to me in time.
Me: Five…four… three…
She managed to kick me in the ankle with her bare foot.
Me: Alright. Guesses are in. The correct answer is…Courtney!
Elisa: Hhhhhmmmmmmmpppppphhhhhhhh?!?!?!
Courtney beamed conspiratorially. I’d put this question early because it was ridiculous. She’s from Phoenix, Arizona. How could she have never simply driven west into California? I have no clue. But she hadn’t.
Me: That’s right. Erica’s parents loved her enough as a child to take her to Disneyland. Abbie’s aunt lives in San Francisco. Elisa and Jackie attended a club volleyball tournament in Redondo Beach. And my family has vacationed in Yosemite and San Diego growing up. But somehow Courtney has never been to California even though you can throw a football into it from her front yard. That pulls Courtney into the lead with 0 points. Everybody else has -1/2 point.
Abbie: Ggggrrrrrmmmmmpppppphhhhhh!!!!
Jackie: How? How do you live in Arizona and never go to California?
There were a collection of disappointed sighs and grumbles from the people who got the question wrong.
Me: Next question. Never have I ever…skipped a class in college. Who has never missed a class in more than three semesters?
Again a period of thoughtfulness descended upon the girls. Once again Elisa acted first and just decided to poke Abbie in the ribs with her bare feet again. It would have to be Abbie eventually. Abbie was a pretty upstanding student. Courtney was shuffling towards Jackie who was standing off to the side and made no move to either help Courney out by coming closer or evading her. But eventually Courtney got there by pushing off on the carpet with her bound hands and poked Jackie in the shin with her feet. Erica meanwhile had turned towards the center of the circle and gave me an unceremonious headbutt in the calf. Forty seconds had elapsed. Abbie had not made a move at all. I stared at her and she just shrugged at me. This one was a crapshoot for her and she was apparently satisfied to not make a guess when she had no clue. Eventually the minute was up.
Me: Not to brag, but the answer is ME. I’ve never missed a class.
I did mean to brag. I was proud of it. My parents were both professors and instilled in me a value for education and the tuition that some of their dollars were assisting me in purchasing. It didn’t surprise me that Erica knew it was me. I think when she told me she was skipping a class once I shamed her for “throwing money away”. Clearly it had stuck with her and now she was in the lead.
Me: Erica now leads with ½ a point. Elisa has dropped to -1. Courtney and Abbie are both at -1/2. Next card. Never have I ever…Owned a Pet.
Once again the wheels started turning for the girls. This time Erica moved first. Emboldened by her lead, she wiggled her way towards Courtney. Elisa appeared to be doing the same. Erica got there first and poked Courtney with her bound feet. Much to Courtney’s surprise. Her family owned a Cavalier King Charles Spaniard named Porthos. I knew that Elisa was, in fact, not moving towards Courtney. Jackie was standing right near Courtney. She’d grown up with Jackie since they were kids and clearly knew that Jackie’s parents were not the type of people to keep pets. My parents were similar in that regard, but my younger brother had won a bunny rabbit using tickets in an Easter raffle and my mom just can’t say No to him. So I was not the answer. Elisa was almost to Jackie and swung her bound ankles at Jackie’s leg when Jackie suddenly hopped over Elisa’s lunge, landed on the other side of her and started walking towards the center of the circle.
Elisa: Hhhhhhhhmmmmmmpppppppphhhhhhhh?!?!?!?!!? Nnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmppppppphhhhhh mmmmmmmmmmmmpppphhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmppppppphhhhhh!!!!!!!
Elisa glared at Jackie and looked at me as though I was going to mediate in her favor.
Me: What are you looking at me for?
Courtney: Mmmmmmmppppphhhhhhhhhh.
Abbie: Mmmmmmmmpppphhhhhhhhh.
Courtney and Abbie both grunted into their gags to regain my attention because they clearly wanted credit for the fact that they were in fact touching Jackie with the crown of their head and soles of their feet respectively. Clearly having divined the correct answer through Elisa’s attempt and Jackie’s treachery.
Me: Yeah. I see you both.
Elisa: Mmmmmmpppphhhhhhrrrrrmmmppppphhhhhhhh!!!!!
Elisa growled at me. She’d been the only person that really KNEW the answer and yet she wasn’t going to score any points for it.
Me: I’m pretty sure that I mentioned that I have very little control over your fellow contestants once they’ve been freed. Jackie Garrett gets to do what she wants. Perks of being a free woman, E. You really should try it.
I grinned at Elisa and she gave me a glare that really should have been withering had I not been towering over her tightly trussed and gagged form.
Elisa: Nnnnnnnmmmmppppppphhhhmmmmmppppphhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Jackie: This is all your doing, Elisa. You said so yourself. You’re the mastermind. You can do to stew for a little bit longer as far as I’m concerned. You’re right where I want you.
Elisa shot her daggers and grumbled lightly but relaxed her posture and seemed to accept that she was going to have to take an L for that question.
Me: Time’s up. The answer IS Jackie. We’re now at Abbie and Courtney with a ½ point each. Erica is back to 0 with her incorrect answer. And Elisa is still at -1, having failed to register a guess in that round.
Elisa was not amused. I could hear Abbie giggling a little bit behind the tape over her mouth and Courtney appeared to be smiling also.
Me: Next question. Never have I ever… Broken a Bone.
I could see all of the girls stop and let the wheels spin for a second before jumping into action. It appeared as though none of them KNEW the answer. But given general lifestyle stereotypes it was thought that they’d lean into it either being Erica or Abbie. Erica because she was probably the most traditionally dainty of the lot and Abbie because she probably seemed to be the most fragile. After a moment’s consideration, Elisa and Courtney both swung towards Erica and started hitting her with their feet. Both kicking her harder than they needed to as Erica grunted indignantly.
Erica: Mmmmmmmppppppphhhhhh mmmmmmpppppphhhhhhhh!!!!!
Erica winced as Elisa’s feet hit her in the upper chest and Courtney’s hit her in the small of her back. She knew that it wasn’t her. I’d found out that she’d broken her nose running into a mirror in a haunted house in the fifth grade. We’d had a good laugh about it when she’d shared the story… probably not realizing it would be used in this context. I really did like getting to know Erica better.
Erica now had to consider who the actual culprit might be. Abbie seemed the next most obvious choice so she squirmed in Abbie’s direction and swung around to tag Abbie who was inching away. The fact that Abbie was fleeing probably made Erica feel good about her decision. But Abbie wasn’t the right answer either. Abbie had broken her leg as a toddler jumping off a couch and landing wrong.
Abbie’s brain had been turning as to whom it could be. Both Elisa and Courtney had guessed Erica but Erica’s frustration appeared to belie the fact that it was not her. Was she that good of an actress? That’s what Abbie had to be thinking. Abbie probably knew Jackie well enough to know that Jackie had broken several bones in her childhood. She had shared with mild embarrassment that during her freshman year of high school she’d had to go to the ER three times in the span of four months and the doctors had to ask her parents to leave the room to ask her if she was being abused. She had been mortified. Jackie’s youth had just spent in a very rough and tumble manner. I also had broken a slew of bones in my day. Street hockey, mountain biking, football. Abbie also knew this as we’d swapped some tales when I’d been plying her for information. So that left either Elisa, Erica, or Courtney.
Elisa was the only one who had broken a bone since we’d been in college. It had happened freshman year two weekends after she’d quit the club volleyball team. She didn’t know how it happened. Or so she claimed. She just woke up with a fractured hand after a night of drunken revelry. Could have been anything from punching a wall to a bad fall. Abbie had to have remembered this. It was close to the end of freshman year and she and Elisa would definitely have been acquainted. I could see Abbie’s wheels turning.
Abbie: Mmmmmmpphhhhhhh mmmmppphhhhh mmmppphhhhhhhhhh.
Abbie was running out of time but she grunted and squirmed her way towards Courtney who was now desperately trying to maneuver away from her. Abbie had cracked the code. I eyed the timer and Abbie managed to give Courtney a little head butt right at about the one minute mark. There was no real reason to split hairs. I was kind of rooting for Abbie so I was definitely going to count the point. I like to think that I’d have counted it if it had been a wrong guess… but I wasn’t above playing favorites.
Me: Alright. The correct answer was… Courtney.
Elisa: Gggrrrrrrrmmmppppphhhhhhhhh!!!
Abbie: Mmmmpphhhh mmmmpppphhhhh mmmmmmm.
Me: That’s -1 ½ points for Elisa. Pull your shit together, E. -1 point for Erica. Positive ½ point for Courtney. Obviously there is no penalty for bluffing a wrong answer when it’s you on the card. And Abbie is starting to pull away with 1 ½ points. But there are still AT LEAST two questions left.
I thumbed to the next card. Looks like there were going to be THREE more questions. Abbie wouldn’t be scoring any points on this one.
Me: Never Have I Ever… Smoked Pot.
I had on camping trips with friends. It’s not something I did with any regularity. But I’d certainly tried it. I was wondering how the girls would think about this one. I didn’t have to wait long to find out. Abbie was getting hit with a flurry of feet from all of the other three girls. She groaned and moaned as three pairs of feet stamped and prodded her. All of the other girls doing so multiple times as Abbie voiced her indignation at the overkill.
Abbie: Mmmmmmmmppppppphhhhhhh!!!!! Mmmmmmpppphhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Me: OK. That was quick. Apparently everybody knows that Abbie is a square.
Abbie: Hhhmmmmmmpppppphhhhhh mmmmmppppphhhhhhhh!!!!
Me: Sorry. I mean that Abbie is a responsible member of society. Points for all three of you. That brings Elisa up to -1/2 points. Erica is back to nil. And Courtney has tied the ball game at 1 ½ points. Things are getting interesting.
I flipped to the next card.
Me: Never Have I Ever… Drank Coffee.
The girls seemed legitimately puzzled by this one. Who didn’t drink coffee? We were all college students that kept garbage sleeping hours. It would seem like it was almost a necessity. Erica and Elisa got coffee every morning and knew each other’s drink orders. But this was a question that you could probably use a memory hack for. Who had you never SEEN drinking coffee? You probably saw almost everybody with a cup at some point or another in passing. Elisa and Erica both went to guess first. They guessed Abbie. Erica giving her a little kick and Elisa squirming counter-clockwise around and head butting her for good measure. Courtney and Abbie were taking a little longer to consider. They were leading the game. This was an important decision.
The seconds ticked by and Courtney appeared to have made her decision first. That decision was me. Abbie appeared to be playing this in a very reactionary manner and was following Courtney’s lead. She knew that she hadn’t been the correct answer, so Erica and Elisa were not scoring points. So the worst case scenario for her was that she remained tied for the lead. They both made it over to me with a moderate amount of effort and tapped me on the shins to submit their guess. They were correct. I’d never tried it. I’d never been interested in trying it. I’d seen how addictive it was for people and knew how expensive it could be and had just decided that I didn’t want to tempt fate. So coffee had never passed my lips. I’d probably end up hopping on the train at some point. But the last thing I needed presently was ANOTHER thing that held control over me.
Me: Alright. The answer was… ME.
Elisa: Hhhhhhmmmppppppphhhhhhh?!?!? Mmmmmpppphhhhh hhhhhmmmpppphhhhh mmmmpppphhhhhh!!!!
Elisa was clearly asking me what the hell was wrong with me. I just gave her a sly grin and proceeded to the next question.
Me: Elisa and Erica are still in the red. Abbie and Courtney are each one answer from victory. It could all be over here. Never Have I Ever… Read Of Mice and Men.
Sort of a weird question. But I thought it was odd that somebody hadn’t read it. Thanks to muddled curriculum of the Cincinnati Catholic educational system, I’d ended up reading it for three different classes between eighth grade and junior year of high school.
Elisa acted first. She turned and tapped Erica. Erica was very clearly doing nothing. Not a great bluff on her part since she was in fact the right answer. But this was the first question this game that had applied to her. She probably hadn’t given much thought to what she’d do when the subject of the question was her. Abbie and Courtney appeared to be thinking and were probably doing the mathematics in their heads. Each player had three cards pertaining to them. Two of Courtney’s had been used. Two of mine had been used. Erica and Elisa hadn’t had any about them yet. The statistical odds said that it was one of them.
They turned towards the two helplessly bound roommates. Elisa to her part faked like she was desperately trying to squirm away from them… implying that SHE was the correct answer. It was an impressive bluff on her part since Erica wasn’t helping much keeping their hopes alive. If one of the girls guessed Erica then the game would be over for Elisa. However, both Courtney and Abbie appeared to see through this gamesmanship on Elisa’s part and both made their way to Erica. Elisa now desperately squirmed back on her butt like she was going to try and physically block them. I don’t know if she was planning on forming a wall between the two girls and Erica but her momentum had been going away from the girls and she didn’t even come close to getting back to Erica in time. Both Courtney and Abbie tapped Erica with the top of their heads for the point.
Me: Alright. The answer WAS Erica. And that means that we have TWO players who have crossed the three point threshold. Sorry Elisa and Erica. You two are eliminated from competition. But we have a tie that we need to settle. Abbie and Courtney each have 3 ½ points. This will bring us to… ALMOST SUDDEN DEATH. The first player to go up by a full point wins. If a player goes back under three points… they lose. So one wrong answer won’t kill you. Two might. To stop players from hedging their bets and copying their opponent until they know one… points will be assigned as they happen. So the FIRST person to guess correctly will win if both players are tied. Do you understand?
Both Abbie and Courtney nodded at me.
Me: One grunt for Yes. Two grunts for No, please.
They both rolled their eyes at me. They knew that I was just looking for some gag talk. They’d grown a little quiet and I had a quota of mmmppppppphhhhhhhs and hhhhhhrrrmmmmpppphhhhhhhs that I was trying to meet.
Abbie: Mmmmppppphhhhh.
Courtney: Mmmmmmpppppphhhh.
Me: Excellent. Here goes.
I went back to my cards and saw something interesting. Courtney had already had two of her cards used. But I saw that her third card was the last one in the deck based on the shuffle. I knew right where it was… but it wasn’t next. If I pulled it then Abbie would have a free question to try and win while Courtney couldn’t score points. That was obviously deceitful and cheating. But I wasn’t quite ready for Courtney to be free yet. I BADLY wanted Abbie to win and have Courtney as my captive for at least another round. I also thought that it would throw a healthy dose of humility on Elisa and Courtney for them to be in the Bottom Three. I didn’t feel great about what I was about to do, but I took the card from the bottom of the deck. It didn’t appear as though anybody noticed. The only person who would know of my guilt would be me. But maybe that was enough.
Me: Never Have I Ever… Sang Karaoke.
Another odd question. I obviously knew that the answer was Courtney. But it probably wasn’t something that people talked about all that regularly. Courtney made no real move. She just appeared to contemplate the answer and see what Abbie was thinking. Abbie’s mind appeared to be in overdrive but she didn’t appear to want to venture a guess. She was content to burn the whole minute and wait for one that she knew. Courtney saw this and sat pat. I looked down at the timer and when it passed the time I announced the answer. My ploy had been for naught. Both of the girls just sat out the question, resting in their bonds.
Me: That would be Courtney. Next question. Never Have I Ever… Gotten a Traffic Ticket.
As soon as I’d given voice to the information. Both Courtney and Abbie started looking around at all of their options. They were both desperate for any sort of context with which to venture a guess. I instinctively looked around also to see if there were any context clues to be gleaned from the way that any of the other players were acting. Courtney appeared to be deep in thought trying to rack her brain for any ideas as to how she could divine who had never gotten a traffic ticket. Abbie on the other hand, was staring directly past me at Jackie. I knew that the answer wasn’t Jackie. Jackie had definitely fallen victim to a speed trap before. But did Abbie know that? Then I saw out of the periphery of my vision why Abbie was staring at Jackie. Jackie had locked into eye contact with Abbie and was discreetly directing her behind her back that the answer to this particular question was Elisa. Elisa was in fact the correct answer and leave to Jackie Garrett to know that. It’s not that Elisa had never been PULLED OVER. It's just that Elisa has on multiple occasions successfully talked herself out of traffic tickets. For all of her sass and occasional abrasiveness… Elisa is still absolutely very charismatic and persuasive. She could sell you a Christmas tree in January.
I had not directed Jackie to assist Abbie. Jackie was good friends with both Courtney and Abbie, but she was clearly taking it upon herself to look after her roommate’s best interests. Because she was screening her hand signals in a way that Courtney was unable to see them. I didn’t even have to cheat on this one. Jackie was doing it for me. Abbie started to make a couple scoots on her bottom out in the general direction of Elisa. But she could have just as easily be heading for Erica or myself given her relative hesitation. She was clearly just trying to not let Courtney know where she was going. Regardless, Courtney was watching her like a hawk. Abbie took a couple more tentative scoots away from Courtney as Courtney began to stir forward also, rocking her shoulders to create momentum. Then, when Abbie clearly felt that she had enough of a head start to close the gap to Elisa over the rangier and more athletic Courtney. She made a break for it. Courtney reacted and tried to buck and squirm her way in Elisa’s direction. However, it appeared as though Abbie had maneuvered into a position where Courtney’s more proficient wriggling wasn’t going to be able to be enough. She had taken a portion of the clock to get started, so there was the question of whether she’d get there in time. But there was also the question of whether I’d bother to call time on her if she was close. In the end I didn’t have to aid her. She rocked her shoulders back and forward and slid her body forward into range. She grunted loudly as she swung her legs around and tapped Elisa on the knee. Courtney groaned in frustration behind her. It was over. Abbie had won the game “Never Have I Ever”.
Me: Abbie has guessed Elisa. Elisa IS the correct answer. Therefore, the game is over. Abbie Wolfe is the winner.
Abbie: Mmmmmmmmmmmppppppppphhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Mmmmmmppppppphhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmpppppphhhhhhh mmmmmmpppppphhhhhhh mmmmmmpppppppphhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm.
Abbie squealed delightedly and rocked back and forth. She was about to be a free woman. And she had avoided the first round of torture. She was beaming with elation. The other three girls did not look excited at all. They were clearly apprehensive about what they’re torture might be. The first round wouldn’t be that bad. But they didn’t know that.
Me: Jackie, would you mind untying our friend Abbie. I have a few hogties that need to be administered.
Erica: Nnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmpppppppphhhhhhhhh!!!! Mmmmmpppphhhhhrrrrmmmppppphhhhhh hhhhhhmmmmppppphhhhhh mmmmmppppphhhhhhhh!!!!
Erica was voicing her dissent as this was likely a rules violation. And she had a legitimate gripe. There was no “re-tying” a captive once the session had started. But I’m not sure how many of the others understood her and those that might were not in a position to assist her. I hadn’t been granted any “special rules” for this Olympiad. But I was going to take a few liberties. So I just summarily ignored her angry grunts as I picked up a rope and walked over towards a wide-eyed Elisa.
but im very excited to see it has more updates, and to see what trouble Trent makes for the ladies.
